My girlfriend just left me!

[speedtripler]

^^ He'll be lucky. Now if you substitute Burmese for Thai.

and then substitute hot woman for low paid man maybe .........

[Scarpolo]

I hear so many stories that start like this: "I've been with my wife/girlfriend for X years, she's great/wonderful/perfect, I give her 10-20k/month --"

I always want to stop right there and say, "what?" I don't get this, why do guys do this? Is this normal? I never had a girlfriend who I just gave money for whatever she wanted to spend it on. Am I alone in this?

I don't just give my wife money. Whenever she wants something or needs money, she justs asks me, and we talk about it and I usually just give her what she needs. Whenever I want to spend money, I always consult her. Yes, the final decision is usually mine, but the vast majority of the money comes from my side, so I think that's only fair. If its her own money, then she can always overrule me instead. Am I the strange case for handling our financial decisions like this?

Seriously, do most of you guys just give your wive's discretionary allowances (either farang or Thai), no questions asked?

Yes, most Americans and South Americans give their wives spending cash, especially if they aren't working, or, they have been asked not to work, by the man,

it depends on your lifestyle, age, and living arrangements and expectations

[Scarpolo]

I want to know why anyone thinks in today's world, we are not in a "pay as you go" soceity?

With all the Visa rules and tourists who come thru here, professing to love them forever,

Is it not reasonable for them to exepct you to "prove" your love, as she opens her legs?

I am not sure if anyone here has experienced a US divorce, I have had two, and for the price of the lawyers, I can tell you, 15,000 Baht a month, for a "live female" is toilet paper to us, and to them, so you get what you pay for; and your interest was paid; in full.

sorry for the reality check, but whining in public about mistakes you are making, with "living people" not property or cattle, warrant you seeking advice from a female psychiatrist, perhaps one with a shirt skirt and long boots?

on a more seriosu note prince charming, have you considered for a moment, that you are not exactly a "prize" at 15,000 Baht a month, and there is always going to be a bloke willing to pay more, if she is cute?

Aha. You forgot to marry a rich one.

working on that next!, ;-)

[Scarpolo]

Paying a Thai girl directly tells the girl you're doing something wrong to her and you need to compensate her with money. Usually she will assume it is because you are just using her for sex and have no intention of long-term commitments.

This has a whole lot of truthfullness in it. Thank god some girls like (or accept) they are being used for sex. Works for me.

Finally, the voice of reason,

and in Thailand, or is this Candy Land?,

I have found it isd all a matter of "price"

Some of us are willing to pay for exactly what we want,

I found what I wanted in my first few weeks here,

tried out just about everything I wanted too, and decided,

she was the one to start with on something more serious,

I moved in,

and paying 40% more than I was in the hotel I was staying in, to live in a house, away from the city, with a car, and a gorgeous female, who speaks the language, gets us thru roadblocks without any fuss, helps me at immigration and the consulate, gets me past every single obstacle that US citizens face here, and, am I willing to pay for that? of course I am,

and, did I mention, gorgeous, 5'7" 98 lbs, and sweeter than candy?

[jmccarty]

Praise the lord if there is one!! You are Freeeeee!!!

[Scarpolo]

<snip>

Bottom line is nothing lasts forever, sometimes you get a few good months, sometimes longer, but don't expect years and years.

And really who wants that anyway?

All depends what you've got.

Even the best wine eventually turns to vinegar.

Or (more apropos) - a fresh cream Belgian chocolate truffle has a shorter shelf life than a Hershey bar.

So when's the last time you screwed a Belgian chocolate truffle?

Ms. Tangomo here will turn 30 this year --

and, I will guarantee, that several times a day, her boyfriend hears, who fat and old she is getting...........

btw, are you sure that is a girl?

[quiuvo]

OP, has gf come back for more yet? If not, be glad, but be sad for the falang she is getting higher income from. Sad facts of paid girls. Sorry.

She is not back yet. I went out to a decent restaurant paid 300 baht. Yesterday went to macdonalds. Today I'll hang out with some Thai guys n drink medium. Tomorrow I'll go to sukhumvit for two hour lady. Not the same but moving slowly. There is a hotel/massage place on soi udom suk for two hours I'll pay 1,700 baht. You see TV members, it can get expensive. I'll send laundry and pay about 400 baht. Massage I'll pay 450 with no extras.

[JLCrab]

No. I'm not sure.

[Scarpolo]

Nobody has mentioned a crucial point here about Thai culture, which is that it's still widely considered normal for the male in the relationship to support his spouse and in most cases his minor spouse ("mia noi").

I know several Thai men who do well and they give allowances to their spouses and brag about it - money and relationships often do go together in Thailand, it isn't considered sinister.

Well worth remembering in order to keep the debate meaningful and relevant, we are in Thailand here folks, not in the West. Of course a lot of dudes are taken for suckers but still, we need to drop our Western outlook from time to time, it does help in achieving a successful expatriation.

If I may add to that,

it also seems that many thai wives, girlfriends, w/e they are,

expect their men to have other women,

and just request that you use condoms with them,

now that, is not something I ever heard, in the west

[SailingHome]

OP, has gf come back for more yet? If not, be glad, but be sad for the falang she is getting higher income from. Sad facts of paid girls. Sorry.

She is not back yet. I went out to a decent restaurant paid 300 baht. Yesterday went to macdonalds. Today I'll hang out with some Thai guys n drink medium. Tomorrow I'll go to sukhumvit for two hour lady. Not the same but moving slowly. There is a hotel/massage place on soi udom suk for two hours I'll pay 1,700 baht. You see TV members, it can get expensive. I'll send laundry and pay about 400 baht. Massage I'll pay 450 with no extras.

Ummmm... REAL girlfriends (Thai, not Western,) do all of that because it is part of "take care". If they didn't, they know you would move on to someone younger in 1/2 a heart beat.

You can have a new girl in your bed faster than she can hook another farang to pay her, but likely she didn't leave you until she already had found one.

Read the posts on here and on other sites about how to find a REAL Thai gf.

Hey, live and learn! It is easy to come not knowing the difference given how Western women act. For less money (wine and dine changes to give cash) we get WAY better 'service' here. But, man, REAL gf does not need money, she just wants to take care of each other. Don't buy what you tried to buy in the West. Only Western women and BAD Thai women are whores. Good Thai women are amazing and easy to find.

[Sam Gold]

OP, has gf come back for more yet? If not, be glad, but be sad for the falang she is getting higher income from. Sad facts of paid girls. Sorry.

She is not back yet. I went out to a decent restaurant paid 300 baht. Yesterday went to macdonalds. Today I'll hang out with some Thai guys n drink medium. Tomorrow I'll go to sukhumvit for two hour lady. Not the same but moving slowly. There is a hotel/massage place on soi udom suk for two hours I'll pay 1,700 baht. You see TV members, it can get expensive. I'll send laundry and pay about 400 baht. Massage I'll pay 450 with no extras.

Are you one of those people who can't stay alone and need to be in a relationship at all costs? In that case, you are exposing yourself to trouble.

It's not that bad being alone for a while. Why not use the money you were losing on your girlfriend to travel around and relax, book a flight on AirAsia to somewhere you fancy and enjoy yourself, you'll meet a few girls along the way and it won't cost you 1,700 for 2 hours.

Cheer up mate!

[Sam Gold]

Nobody has mentioned a crucial point here about Thai culture, which is that it's still widely considered normal for the male in the relationship to support his spouse and in most cases his minor spouse ("mia noi").

I know several Thai men who do well and they give allowances to their spouses and brag about it - money and relationships often do go together in Thailand, it isn't considered sinister.

Well worth remembering in order to keep the debate meaningful and relevant, we are in Thailand here folks, not in the West. Of course a lot of dudes are taken for suckers but still, we need to drop our Western outlook from time to time, it does help in achieving a successful expatriation.

If I may add to that,

it also seems that many thai wives, girlfriends, w/e they are,

expect their men to have other women,

and just request that you use condoms with them,

now that, is not something I ever heard, in the west

Yes, that was covered in a recent topic.

[rhodie]

OP, has gf come back for more yet? If not, be glad, but be sad for the falang she is getting higher income from. Sad facts of paid girls. Sorry.

She is not back yet. I went out to a decent restaurant paid 300 baht. Yesterday went to macdonalds. Today I'll hang out with some Thai guys n drink medium. Tomorrow I'll go to sukhumvit for two hour lady. Not the same but moving slowly. There is a hotel/massage place on soi udom suk for two hours I'll pay 1,700 baht. You see TV members, it can get expensive. I'll send laundry and pay about 400 baht. Massage I'll pay 450 with no extras.

I thought that place on Udom Suk was just a short time hotel. How does it operate?

[SailingHome]

Yes, Thai culture is taking care of each other, and if she doesn't work, giving some spending money each day (pocket money B100 was normal for my gf to get to school and eat), buy her clothes because YOU want to see her in them, maybe some Baht to parents... but just handing them several kiloBaht per month? Nah. Not unless they are paying all the bins and grocery from it.

[cashpower]

Tomorrow I'll go to sukhumvit for two hour lady. Not the same but moving slowly. There is a hotel/massage place on soi udom suk for two hours I'll pay 1,700 baht.

Thanks for letting us know. We are all hanging on the edge of our seats wondering where and when you will next ejaculate and how much it will cost.

[jackinbkk]

She left, now the fun starts when she will inevitably come back

[notmyself]

She left, now the fun starts when she will inevitably come back

The OP could use the intervening time to clue himself up on general advise when she inserts the oft. used scam of being pregnant or some such.

[Scarpolo]

Again I ask,

what would any man on this thread pay to live with this girl for a month, or a week, sleep in her bed, have her drive you around.....?

I wont discredit myself with the pitiful words of the person instigating all this, as, he would surely not pay 15,000 baht for an overnight

but I surely would,

Americans are paying this and more for married women posing as travelers for heavens sake

No. I'm not sure.

[Scarpolo]

We will see how fast you say no, to your "real" girlfriend, if she is suddenly not working, spending all her time with you, and the mortgage is due.

you may speak from experience, but solely; your own

peace

OP, has gf come back for more yet? If not, be glad, but be sad for the falang she is getting higher income from. Sad facts of paid girls. Sorry.

She is not back yet. I went out to a decent restaurant paid 300 baht. Yesterday went to macdonalds. Today I'll hang out with some Thai guys n drink medium. Tomorrow I'll go to sukhumvit for two hour lady. Not the same but moving slowly. There is a hotel/massage place on soi udom suk for two hours I'll pay 1,700 baht. You see TV members, it can get expensive. I'll send laundry and pay about 400 baht. Massage I'll pay 450 with no extras.

Ummmm... REAL girlfriends (Thai, not Western,) do all of that because it is part of "take care". If they didn't, they know you would move on to someone younger in 1/2 a heart beat.

You can have a new girl in your bed faster than she can hook another farang to pay her, but likely she didn't leave you until she already had found one.

Read the posts on here and on other sites about how to find a REAL Thai gf.

Hey, live and learn! It is easy to come not knowing the difference given how Western women act. For less money (wine and dine changes to give cash) we get WAY better 'service' here. But, man, REAL gf does not need money, she just wants to take care of each other. Don't buy what you tried to buy in the West. Only Western women and BAD Thai women are whores. Good Thai women are amazing and easy to find.

[quiuvo]

We will see how fast you say no, to your "real" girlfriend, if she is suddenly not working, spending all her time with you, and the mortgage is due.

you may speak from experience, but solely; your own

peace

OP, has gf come back for more yet? If not, be glad, but be sad for the falang she is getting higher income from. Sad facts of paid girls. Sorry.

She is not back yet. I went out to a decent restaurant paid 300 baht. Yesterday went to macdonalds. Today I'll hang out with some Thai guys n drink medium. Tomorrow I'll go to sukhumvit for two hour lady. Not the same but moving slowly. There is a hotel/massage place on soi udom suk for two hours I'll pay 1,700 baht. You see TV members, it can get expensive. I'll send laundry and pay about 400 baht. Massage I'll pay 450 with no extras.

Ummmm... REAL girlfriends (Thai, not Western,) do all of that because it is part of "take care". If they didn't, they know you would move on to someone younger in 1/2 a heart beat.

You can have a new girl in your bed faster than she can hook another farang to pay her, but likely she didn't leave you until she already had found one.

Read the posts on here and on other sites about how to find a REAL Thai gf.

Hey, live and learn! It is easy to come not knowing the difference given how Western women act. For less money (wine and dine changes to give cash) we get WAY better 'service' here. But, man, REAL gf does not need money, she just wants to take care of each other. Don't buy what you tried to buy in the West. Only Western women and BAD Thai women are whores. Good Thai women are amazing and easy to find.

555 you sad ones who think you have a lady and not spending money on them. They adore you? They worship you. Bah. All over the world we must give and take. Ten Thai men told me so today. They pay for Mia nois etc. we pay even in a legal marriage. I had a good deal and now I must look again. You guys can spend for short time. Short time. Not the same. Plz don't reply any more if you think that way since you are know it all but in reality you know jack sh.t

[quiuvo]

HEY, I should have waited to send my previous email. I was going to watch some sports and the key to the door was inserted and the door opened up. My "x"girlfriend apparently had made a KEy with out my permission and waltz right in! We talked five minutes and she then dusted and groomed the floor and then mopped it! Friendly as ever could be. I'm looking at some TV programs and movies.

What the .... Some of you hit it on the nose. I'm going to be careful now. First about no privacy here y her cavalier attitude about making copy of the apt. Key! No privacy at all. But overall a keeper for some time. I'll give her 3,000 per month additional as an allowance.

[wym]

DON'T DO IT!

That is, don't give her a guaranteed increase.

Just hand her the lump sum, as a present to show how much you love her.

Repeat once in a while, of course only when she's giving good value for money, but make the timing more or less random so she doesn't know when to expect it.

That way you don't have to set up an explicit performance-bonus plan, might make her feel cheap but more to the point once any payment scheme has become routine they take it for granted and stop with the extraordinary efforts.

Just keep a separate account she doesn't know about, deposit into it regularly as she earns it. If she comes up with sick buffalo stories, you've got a fund she's already earned you can happily dispense. If it grows and grows you can give her nice gifts and surprises to increase the odds she'll stick around a bit longer. . .

[Scarpolo]

Two things strike me here:

1) why didnt you immediately take her to the bedroom, and then

2) after she left, change the key?

DON'T DO IT!

That is, don't give her a guaranteed increase.

Just hand her the lump sum, as a present to show how much you love her.

Repeat once in a while, of course only when she's giving good value for money, but make the timing more or less random so she doesn't know when to expect it.

That way you don't have to set up an explicit performance-bonus plan, might make her feel cheap but more to the point once any payment scheme has become routine they take it for granted and stop with the extraordinary efforts.

Just keep a separate account she doesn't know about, deposit into it regularly as she earns it. If she comes up with sick buffalo stories, you've got a fund she's already earned you can happily dispense. If it grows and grows you can give her nice gifts and surprises to increase the odds she'll stick around a bit longer. . .

[Scarpolo]

This is a bad accident waiting to happen......and it will all play out, right here, in the ether........

An unknown key?

Right to cleaning?

This is not just wierd, it's ball less

[Scarpolo]

This is a bad accident waiting to happen......and it will all play out, right here, in the ether........

An unknown key?

No outrage?

Right to cleaning?

have you had an HIV check?

do you not know when you have been lied to?

where is the line drawn between lying and stealing?

wow

Two things strike me here:

1) why didnt you immediately take her to the bedroom, and then

2) after she left, change the key?

DON'T DO IT!

That is, don't give her a guaranteed increase.

Just hand her the lump sum, as a present to show how much you love her.

Repeat once in a while, of course only when she's giving good value for money, but make the timing more or less random so she doesn't know when to expect it.

That way you don't have to set up an explicit performance-bonus plan, might make her feel cheap but more to the point once any payment scheme has become routine they take it for granted and stop with the extraordinary efforts.

Just keep a separate account she doesn't know about, deposit into it regularly as she earns it. If she comes up with sick buffalo stories, you've got a fund she's already earned you can happily dispense. If it grows and grows you can give her nice gifts and surprises to increase the odds she'll stick around a bit longer. . .

[wym]

This is a bad accident waiting to happen......and it will all play out, right here, in the ether........

An unknown key?

No outrage?

Right to cleaning?

have you had an HIV check?

do you not know when you have been lied to?

where is the line drawn between lying and stealing?

wow

Two things strike me here:

1) why didnt you immediately take her to the bedroom, and then

2) after she left, change the key?

Because he wants her to stick around obviously, he's been clear about that from the start.

If he'd had her replacement there then there would have been a scene sure, that's why she showed up unannounced.

What's this about lying and stealing? Maybe I missed something, but I thought the only problem was he hadn't given into her demands for more money and was sad about her leaving. . .

[Scarpolo]

Actually, I see it differently.

He said, unless I mis read this, that, with a key he did not know existed, she just opened his door, and (I shall insert) when she saw he was there, picked up a mop and started cleaning;

not fell in to his arms?

this was a thwarted robbery in my mind,

he is lucky she came to rob him alone,

had there been a few thai guys with her, we would have read his last post yesterday, and never heard from him again,

let me repeat,

with an unknown key, she just opened his door......that usually, BTW, is a crime, in any country

This is a bad accident waiting to happen......and it will all play out, right here, in the ether........

An unknown key?

No outrage?

Right to cleaning?

have you had an HIV check?

do you not know when you have been lied to?

where is the line drawn between lying and stealing?

wow

Two things strike me here:

1) why didnt you immediately take her to the bedroom, and then

2) after she left, change the key?

Because he wants her to stick around obviously, he's been clear about that from the start.

If he'd had her replacement there then there would have been a scene sure, that's why she showed up unannounced.

What's this about lying and stealing? Maybe I missed something, but I thought the only problem was he hadn't given into her demands for more money and was sad about her leaving. . .

[wym]

Actually, I see it differently.

He said, unless I mis read this, that, with a key he did not know existed, she just opened his door, and (I shall insert) when she saw he was there, picked up a mop and started cleaning;

not fell in to his arms?

this was a thwarted robbery in my mind,

he is lucky she came to rob him alone,

had there been a few thai guys with her, we would have read his last post yesterday, and never heard from him again,

let me repeat,

with an unknown key, she just opened his door......that usually, BTW, is a crime, in any country

No, I doubt she's a thief, very very few of these girls are, they're on a much more lucrative game than that. Note she could have cleaned him out when she had much better opportunities beforehand.

True some might be surprised about her making a copy of the key to his flat, but by local standards, that's just her showing how much she cares, she was just checking to see if he'd brought another girl back yet or not.

Now that she sees he hasn't, she'll be reassured that he does indeed care for her and only her.

Most likely the greener pastures she'd moved on to weren't as green as she thought.

So he's in a better position than ever to see if he can get her to stick around for a bit longer without just giving into her unreasonable demands.

[Scarpolo]

Really, breaking and entering, not a crime, ok.....you win.........

He is a fool.

My g/f repeatedly refused keys from me, before I moved in with her,

and when I stayed in hotels, refused to take the duplicates.

Anyone who thinks otherewise is entitled to their opinion, but the reality is,

she committed a felony, and he is letting it slide out of desperation, and you are validating his lack of awareness to the situation.

she didnt call,

there was no contact,

he didnt know she had a key,

she didnt live there,

she walked in like she owned it,

and now apparently him.

I would change the lock, and take the key,

not sure about whether I would want her around,

she may have just been tossed by her last new boss,

and, she was out on the street at 1AM,

you guys are both, comatose

Actually, I see it differently.

He said, unless I mis read this, that, with a key he did not know existed, she just opened his door, and (I shall insert) when she saw he was there, picked up a mop and started cleaning;

not fell in to his arms?

this was a thwarted robbery in my mind,
he is lucky she came to rob him alone,

had there been a few thai guys with her, we would have read his last post yesterday, and never heard from him again,

let me repeat,

with an unknown key, she just opened his door......that usually, BTW, is a crime, in any country

No, I doubt she's a thief, very very few of these girls are, they're on a much more lucrative game than that. Note she could have cleaned him out when she had much better opportunities beforehand.

True some might be surprised about her making a copy of the key to his flat, but by local standards, that's just her showing how much she cares, she was just checking to see if he'd brought another girl back yet or not.

Now that she sees he hasn't, she'll be reassured that he does indeed care for her and only her.

Most likely the greener pastures she'd moved on to weren't as green as she thought.

So he's in a better position than ever to see if he can get her to stick around for a bit longer without just giving into her unreasonable demands.

[quiuvo]

Actually, I see it differently.

He said, unless I mis read this, that, with a key he did not know existed, she just opened his door, and (I shall insert) when she saw he was there, picked up a mop and started cleaning;

not fell in to his arms?

this was a thwarted robbery in my mind,

he is lucky she came to rob him alone,

had there been a few thai guys with her, we would have read his last post yesterday, and never heard from him again,

let me repeat,

with an unknown key, she just opened his door......that usually, BTW, is a crime, in any country

This is a bad accident waiting to happen......and it will all play out, right here, in the ether........

An unknown key?

No outrage?

Right to cleaning?

have you had an HIV check?

do you not know when you have been lied to?

where is the line drawn between lying and stealing?

wow

Two things strike me here:

1) why didnt you immediately take her to the bedroom, and then

2) after she left, change the key?

Because he wants her to stick around obviously, he's been clear about that from the start.

If he'd had her replacement there then there would have been a scene sure, that's why she showed up unannounced.

What's this about lying and stealing? Maybe I missed something, but I thought the only problem was he hadn't given into her demands for more money and was sad about her leaving. . .

You TV members really have something going here. the key copying is a violation of my privacy, stealing. Also if she didn't come back I was going to spend 2-4 K tomorrow now it may be 300 baht. Both points of view are correct in a way.

I was sad her leaving and now I say I think I will capitulate to her demands, increase in her allowance but not by five but by three K. Many variables as per above. But if I pay 13,000 per month for the entire package and I'm comfortable with it and I get to go see a GIG once in awhile I think it's ok.

Ok, she is not my girlfriend, she is my xxx. ---fill in the xxx---- plz. : Not sex slave since she is obviously not a slave; maid, cook, cultural guide, sex ? , masseuse, devil,s advocate, Also I may be pussy whipped, very tight I may add. Or is it black magic, I doubt that one now.

I'll get some tonight or early morning. Damn men, who don't understand women and aren't able to communicate with them bz the brains are in very separate parts of our bodies. Or is it that damn women who control us, like one red POST above said.

I should let her go after the Big Bang and try going cold turkey but I can't and the cost benefit analysis stops me. S..t