Threatened By Recruiter

[ThailandPermanent]

Hello everyone, this is my first post here so please excuse my newbie forum etiquette.

This is a pretty silly story, but I want to have peace of mind:

A recruiter offered me a job last week and I turned it down and that seemed like the end of it.

But I was out the other night and accidentally pocket dialed the number at 2am. She rang back and started going crazy, and for the past two days she's been trying to ring me every half an hour :S

Plus she keeps sending me silly threats such as "I'm going to tell every school about you", "You will not stay in Thailand much longer"

Now, I'm not too worried and eventually she'll get bored BUT: She has a scan of my passport and other teaching documents. Can she use that to do any harm with schools/the police or what not?

Again, I'm not too worried and think they are empty threats, but I would like peace of mind so I can just forget about the whole thing. You can never be too sure when you're not in your home country.

Also, another question, I want to expose the name on some of the teaching forums BUT is this a really stupid idea that could land me in some trouble?

Thank you

[Scott]

We do not allow for 'name and shame' topics, so I suggest you not mention any agencies or schools. The defamation and libel laws in Thailand are very strict and you can end up in very hot water, even if what you are saying is the truth.

I wouldn't worry too much about her, but one never knows, so handle with care. Is it possible to get a different phone number, at least for a time? I know that's not a good idea for people looking for work, but it's one option.

If she were to send your details out and bad mouth you, then you could probably get her with the above mentioned laws! Sending details out or getting a hold of schools sounds like a lot of work and most people aren't quite that vindictive.

Keep us posted.

[I Like Thai]

So, It was 2 AM in the morning and you had a few drinks. You thought it would be a great idea to ring the recruiter and chat her up.

It went downhill from there.

[ThailandPermanent]

We do not allow for 'name and shame' topics, so I suggest you not mention any agencies or schools. The defamation and libel laws in Thailand are very strict and you can end up in very hot water, even if what you are saying is the truth.

I wouldn't worry too much about her, but one never knows, so handle with care. Is it possible to get a different phone number, at least for a time? I know that's not a good idea for people looking for work, but it's one option.

Keep us posted.

No worries, glad I asked first before making a big mistake

I just blocked the number so it's not really a problem, just worried what she can do with my information

She's rang me over 50 times and has sent about 10 messages. Think it's just a big case of losing face, now she's trying to regain it by threatening me. Just seems kinda strange why she would dedicate nearly two days to trying to contact me.

BUT: Let this be a lesson to all of us (as well as myself obviously). Face is important here. Luckily this wasn't a situation that happened face-to-face, I could be in a lot of hot water if that was the case. Best to just ignore stuff like this.

So, It was 2 AM in the morning and you had a few drinks. You thought it would be a great idea to ring the recruiter and chat her up.

It went downhill from there.

I thought she liked me more than just a teacher :'(

[zeichen]

First of all, don't use recruiters in Thailand unless you are getting an international school job.

She has no clout and can do you no harm. Idle threats. You didn't sign a contract and broke it, you just didn't accept a position.

As for ringing her up at 2AM. You should have apologized profusely. If it were me, I wouldn't have forgiven you either. I wouldn't have stalked you like fatal attraction but I would definitely not like you.

I would be surprised if she kept your passport and other information, but she might have. From now on, never send scans of your passport. Only send resume, cover letter, and current photo. The passport would be only after accepting a position.

Good luck and don't worry too much.

Save every message and record every single thing that she sent you, as a precaution. Never send things to her especially angry messages.

[Scott]

When I have a job opening, I request certain documentation, including a copy of the information page of the passport. Until I get the information requested, there is no interview and there is no job offer.

[ThailandPermanent]

First of all, don't use recruiters in Thailand unless you are getting an international school job.

She has no clout and can do you no harm. Idle threats. You didn't sign a contract and broke it, you just didn't accept a position.

As for ringing her up at 2AM. You should have apologized profusely. If it were me, I wouldn't have forgiven you either. I wouldn't have stalked you like fatal attraction but I would definitely not like you.

I would be surprised if she kept your passport and other information, but she might have. From now on, never send scans of your passport. Only send resume, cover letter, and current photo. The passport would be only after accepting a position.

Good luck and don't worry too much.

Save every message and record every single thing that she sent you, as a precaution. Never send things to her especially angry messages.

Ummm, I rang her by accident and when she rang me I apologised and said it was an accident. Then she shouted. Then I apologised again. Then she shouted again.

In Thailand you have to bite your lip and apologise. I know this better than anyone.

Always better to move a step towards apologizing here, no matter what the situation is.

And flight, not fight.

The rest of your post was good though, so thank you

Edited February 8, 2014 by ThailandPermanent

[angsta]

Can you give us a clue? Have you goggle searched the agency in question?

[Scott]

I'd rather than we not get into a guessing game on the open forum. We do have PM function for people who wish to exchange information outside of the open forum.

[somchaismith]

We do not allow for 'name and shame' topics, so I suggest you not mention any agencies or schools. The defamation and libel laws in Thailand are very strict and you can end up in very hot water, even if what you are saying is the truth.

I wouldn't worry too much about her, but one never knows, so handle with care. Is it possible to get a different phone number, at least for a time? I know that's not a good idea for people looking for work, but it's one option.

Keep us posted.

No worries, glad I asked first before making a big mistake

I just blocked the number so it's not really a problem, just worried what she can do with my information

She's rang me over 50 times and has sent about 10 messages. Think it's just a big case of losing face, now she's trying to regain it by threatening me. Just seems kinda strange why she would dedicate nearly two days to trying to contact me.

BUT: Let this be a lesson to all of us (as well as myself obviously). Face is important here. Luckily this wasn't a situation that happened face-to-face, I could be in a lot of hot water if that was the case. Best to just ignore stuff like this.

So, It was 2 AM in the morning and you had a few drinks. You thought it would be a great idea to ring the recruiter and chat her up.

It went downhill from there.

I thought she liked me more than just a teacher :'(

I don't get your understanding of 'loosing face'. She lost face because she didn't get to employ a person who pocket dials people at 2 in the morning? That I think, may turn out to be a blessing in disguise.

Now, let me see, you've called people at 2 in the morning and now you're trying to bad-mouth them on an internet forum, mmm....

Edited February 9, 2014 by somchaismith

[liddelljohn]

Look this is really very simple ,, YOU accidentaly dialled her number, had it been during working hours its no problem,,,,, BUT you accidentally dialled her number at 2am ,,,this has made her loose face big time ,, maybe she was with her husband ? maybe she now thinks you see her as an available whore ,, she wont see this as a mistake and for her to accept it that way would be un Thai and illogical and make her loose more face , best change your number and forget ,She will calm down and forget but Thais are very touchy

[ThailandPermanent]

I don't get your understanding of 'loosing face'. She lost face because she didn't get to employ a person who pocket dials people at 2 in the morning? That I think, may turn out to be a blessing in disguise.

Now, let me see, you've called people at 2 in the morning and now you're trying to bad-mouth them on an internet forum, mmm....

OK let's reiterate again.

I called her at 2am by ACCIDENT.

ACCIDENT.

I was out drinking and my phone ACCIDENTALLY pocket dialed her.

When things happen by ACCIDENT they are not on purpose.

Sometimes I have ACCIDENTALLY bumped into a person in a crowded place here in Bangkok. To resolve the ACCIDENT I always apologise as ego gets you nowhere here. I always try my best to give them face.

So, in order to solve this unfortunate ACCIDENT, I immediately apologized when she rang me and notified me. I also explained. Then she shouted again. Then I apologized again.

But, that wasn't good enough for her, and she started shouting, making threats and swearing. I think she was annoyed because she's struggling to find a teacher for the position starting on Monday. Maybe she was a little dissapointed I said no to the position and needed not much to blow up.

Being rang at 2am in the morning isn't fun. BUT ringing that person over 50 times for the past two days, and sending them death threats is a little bit too much for an ACCIDENT that the person aplogised for twice in a very calm manner.

Once again. It was an ACCIDENT. an ACCIDENT.

OK.

[ThailandPermanent]

Look this is really very simple ,, YOU accidentaly dialled her number, had it been during working hours its no problem,,,,, BUT you accidentally dialled her number at 2am ,,,this has made her loose face big time ,, maybe she was with her husband ? maybe she now thinks you see her as an available whore ,, she wont see this as a mistake and for her to accept it that way would be un Thai and illogical and make her loose more face , best change your number and forget ,She will calm down and forget but Thais are very touchy

Thank you for the reply. I agree, best to forget and let her run out of energy.

Interesting though, do Thai's really think like this?

Do you have some other examples? just curious, not been in Thailand as long as the other people here

[Scott]

A troll post has been removed. The OP has posted a situation and has asked for input. If you have nothing to say about his original post then please don't bother responding. Continued off-topic, troll posts will earn you a warning.

[rak sa_ngop]

If you have a Samsung smart phone if is very easy to swipe the screen and make an unintentional call. I did it a few times soon after getting my phone.

Quick check on the net and i found the Call Condirm app. No more embarassing calls for me.

Sent from my GT-I9003 using Thaivisa Connect Thailand mobile app

[p_brownstone]

I thought she liked me more than just a teacher :'(

And there we have the problem exposed.

You were feeling horny at 2.00 am and decided to telephone her and try to become more than just Business Associates / Contacts.

If she's a respectable, professional woman being telephone by a semi-intoxicated, very casual acquaintance - from a Bar! - at that time of morning would offend most people.

And you did not "accidentally pocket dial" her - even my very basic Cellphone has a simple 2 step "Keypad Lock" function.

Patrick

[ThailandPermanent]

That comment was a joke reply aimed at getting the forum member to stop posting, leave the thread and allow discussion to move forward

Im a 24 year old man with a girlfriend. I have no motive to Chat up a married 50 year old woman with a husband. plus if i did want to chat her up, id find a better way of doing so rather than ringing her drunk while im on soi 11 at 2am. perhaps flowers and a song?

i have a Samsung swipe phone. One time i pulled it out of my pocket and it had composed an email in Chinese. ive added a screen lock now so its not gojust the swipe lock, shouldn't happen again. many times ive pulled the phone out and its been unlocked.

ok, so anymore hating, trolling or calling out to go around?

or can we just like, talk about the the questions i asked about in the post like a bunch of adults?

[ThailandPermanent]

Guys she's made a police report about me and has sent me a scan of it via email (it's real). She's sent it to the British consulate

What do I do?

Do I also go to the police?

And please can we just stop the jokes and hating as I'm really worried now

[Skint]

Guys she's made a police report about me and has sent me a scan of it via email (it's real). She's sent it to the British consulate

What do I do?

Do I also go to the police?

And please can we just stop the jokes and hating as I'm really worried now

Why not report this woman to her agency?

Sent from my iPhone using Thaivisa Connect Thailand

[ThailandPermanent]

I just want the situation to be over tbh. Just want her to get her fill and go away.

No interest in trying to get her done for something. Just want to make sure I won't have the police after me or any trouble finding a job now

[zeichen]

Take the scan copy of the police report to a lawyer. Don't get legal advice from people online.

Since the police report is in Thai, she could have shown you a parking ticket. About contacting your embassy B.S. She did not and would not unless you actually committed a crime. They wouldn't even listen to her. If she is accusing you of committing a crime, then leave Thailand and don't come back.

I think that there is a lot more to the story than you are letting us know. My guess is that you actually signed a contract and then refused to take the job or that you sent her replies to her 50 messages and they weren't nice either. If you are 100% innocent and only did what you claim on this thread, then fear not, she is in the wrong. If you save all of the messages and text and threats, you can sue her and place harassment charges against her. (I wouldn't bother though)

If you have named or shamed her on some other public forum, leave Thailand. You will be held for libel.

I really don't think that I believe your story any more though.

Also all of your ACCIDENT posting doesn't make it any less offensive. You are a complete an total A.. for waking someone up at 2AM. There is no accident about it. If you broke an agreement with me for a job and then dialed me at 2AM. Woke up my wife and daughter, I would probably just punch you in the face.

[ThailandPermanent]

I've already contacted a lawyer

Well, let's just talk hypothetically then. Let's pretend I didn't do anything wrong *sigh* (This forum really is touchy as hell)

After she started going crazy at me I said "If you keep ringing me I'll put this on Ajarn forum. Thank you, goodbye".

In Britain or Korea this was the common response.

BUT:

Then I made sure to check before doing this. Luckily I did check and I have hence not named and shamed her. In Britain or Korea the rules aren't as strict and usually you can threaten to report them to somewhere.

I have all the evidence here on my phone. I know full well not to egg on a Thai person.

She offered me two jobs way outside of Bangkok and I didn't want them. That's all there is to it. I still have the two job offer emails and evidence of me replying politely and rejecting them.

You'd punch someone for accidentally ringing you at 2am then profusely apologizing? You sound like a very angry person haha. It's annoying but it's hardly the end of the world.

I;d be annoyed but then II'd be like ah well, tomorrow's another day, what can you do?

If they did it on purpose to rile me up, I'd be angry, but accident's happen. Even if I was annoyed I don't think I'd ring them 50 times, submit a police report and send them death threats

Or threaten to punch them lol

Anymore hating? Or can we have some advice now?

Nope?

OK, let's all keep hating....

Edited February 10, 2014 by ThailandPermanent

[siampolee]

Thailand Permanent post # 22

Anymore hating? Or can we have some advice now?

Could change your name to Thailand Transient.

Your best bet is to ignore the matter and start afresh perhaps a move from where you currently reside and change your phone number also secure your phone from auto dialing too.

Your comment that she has sent the police complaint to the British Consulate is somewhat suspect as if you are in Bangkok the embassy would be the place not a consulate.

Now perhaps if we had the full story of your ''mishap'' the situation may well be a little clearer. I find the whole saga somewhat mystifying to say the least, in all my years here (23) involved in education such an interesting saga as yours has never before arisen.

[Scott]

For those that don't believe the story, perhaps you could ignore it and not post a response.

You don't need to go to the police, by the way. Usually, they come and visit you.

[ThailandPermanent]

In her message it said Consulate. I think she emailed the embassy though. I don't really know the difference to be honest (or care). I could post a topic here asking where to find a delicious chocolate donut and I'd probably be 'called out' for trying to rob donut shops, spread hate crime or using the word 'donut' as a synonym for something dirty.

Scott has the unenviable position of trying to moderate this forum. Genuine hats off to him. Not even arse-licking. A lot of ad-hominem aggression here, it must be hard work. Shame, I saw this more of a place for expats to help each other out. I tried to make my original post as polite as possible, but ah well.

You'll all be very happy to know I won't be making myself a permanent member here.

Skepticism is healthy for a forum, and I understand this is just one side of the story. You could probe in a much more polite manner though. I see plenty of angry British guys here every day. I moved away from Britain to escape all that. Used to hate walking down the street and seeing people look at me like they want to fight. Then you watch a football game in a pub and suddenly you're in a warzone.

Hell, I even hate Sukhumvit nowadays. British guys just push each other in the clubs and stuff. Have a piss poor attitude. Some Thai people can sometimes go crazy like this, but overall I love them. Never felt threatened walking around here. I like the chilled out atmosphere and like that fights are pretty uncommon.

I'm a pacifist really, not one for confrontation or unnecessary aggression. But yeah:

I've just spoken to a lawyer who's read the police report

He pretty much told me there's nothing to worry about but to just keep a record of the calls and messages as I could have a case against her if she keeps doing it (especially if she threatens me again)

He said the police won't pursue me and it's more just filed as a document for future reference

Best thing is to just keep ignoring and move on

I would say thanks but I think a lot of people here need to grow up or just go for a swim and relax with a Leo or something

Thanks Scott

[zeichen]

Sorry to strike a nerve. However your aggression is none the less obvious, so perhaps examine your own responses here. You started shouting ACCIDENT over and over. Perhaps your own tone on this thread might explain some of our responses to you, but it is clear that you don't self reflect.

Overall, I am sorry for giving you a hard time but overall I think that my posts were filled with helpful advice. And yes, waking up my entire family at 2AM isn't a minor thing it is a major disruption. When you have young children, you will understand. But live in your bubble that nothing you do totally offends others. If you realize things from her perspective, you might have been more careful. My guess is that your apology was less than sincere as you seem to think it isn't a big deal to wake someone up at 2AM.

FYI Korea has much stricter laws than Thailand for defamation. So naming and shaming there and on Daves etc. does open you up to libel and jail.

I do think that overall you are worried about something that is very minor. As I stated several times, if you really didn't write a single word that was threatening, or said anything at all, then there is nothing she can do. Keep the records of everything, bring them to a lawyer and then to the police station that she went to. Or ignore the situation, change your email, change your phone number and look for work in different areas. Just ignore this crazy stalker. If the story is just as you say, then she is definitely insane, but as I said there are two sides to the story and if you first looked at her perspective, you might have been more sincere and avoided this entirely.

In my 15 years here and teaching, I have never had or even heard of a similar situation. So in short I do empathize with the fear of persecution and reprisal from police, but just relax and things will work themselves out.

[mushroomdave]

First of all, don't use recruiters in Thailand unless you are getting an international school job.

She has no clout and can do you no harm. Idle threats. You didn't sign a contract and broke it, you just didn't accept a position.

As for ringing her up at 2AM. You should have apologized profusely. If it were me, I wouldn't have forgiven you either. I wouldn't have stalked you like fatal attraction but I would definitely not like you.

I would be surprised if she kept your passport and other information, but she might have. From now on, never send scans of your passport. Only send resume, cover letter, and current photo. The passport would be only after accepting a position.

Good luck and don't worry too much.

Save every message and record every single thing that she sent you, as a precaution. Never send things to her especially angry messages.

EXACTLY !!!!!.......should have just gave her the photo......"NEVER" give anyone your passport / passport scan / copy until you actually get a position and they need it for government / visa / wp / processing etc.

(this was even recommended when handed my new passport by my embassy...they added to keep it locked up/in hotel etc. and only carry a photocopy of your photo page when out travelling)

And yes I would have apologized too, but hard to feel sorry for the chick leaving the ringer on her phone as she slept......whoever does that can't really be too upset.............I stopped leaving the ringer on YEARS ago as I lived in Taiwan and they had no sense of time !!!! lol !!!

[mushroomdave]

When I have a job opening, I request certain documentation, including a copy of the information page of the passport. Until I get the information requested, there is no interview and there is no job offer.

Well I understand your requirement but I have been told "NEVER" give anyone your passport / passport scan / copy until you actually get a position and they need it for government / visa / work permit / processing etc.

This was recommended when handed my new passport by my embassy. They said there is no reason someone needs your passport # / information until they need official processing. They also warned me to keep it locked up/in hotel etc. and only carry a photocopy of your photo page when out travelling.

Sorry, but I will take their advice.

[Scott]

Well, you don't have to give people anyone, but you will simply not even get a face-to-face interview at our schools until we have the information. I don't know any legitimate job anywhere in the world where you don't produce the proof of eligibility for the job before being offered it.

[mushroomdave]

Well, you don't have to give people anyone, but you will simply not even get a face-to-face interview at our schools until we have the information. I don't know any legitimate job anywhere in the world where you don't produce the proof of eligibility for the job before being offered it.

Well all information on a passport is pretty much on any application form and I fill them out. What good is it giving your passport # out to a "possible" job offer??...they don't need it for anything until they process you. I never have given it out and never have given a scan copy of mine until hired.......and I have gotten jobs in the past.

Again, I will take my embassy's advice......and not a forum's.