Free At Last, Free At Last

[Galong]

After many years of having to put up with my Thai wife's worthless son, he resigned yesterday. We had a big company meeting at 2:00 PM. He lives two minutes from the office, yet came in 15 minutes late. He over-slept.

He's have perhaps 20 previous tardies.

After coming late to almost everything he's supposed to do, I told him that by Thai law I can give him an oral warning. He stared cussing about me to everyone else. I video tape meetings so that no one can come back and say that they didn't say certain things. I reminded him that the video camera was on.

As my secretary started writhing up the oral warning, he stormed out saying he quit! YES!!!

My wife is finally fed up with him too. She realizes that he's just a worthless little siht.

Anyone else had to endure having a family member in your company?

[penzman]

Now that he's unemployed, when is he moving back in?

[jackr]

Well done, but keep your wits about you even though he's your missus' boy; they're not great at keeping their emotions in check after losing some face.

[skylar]

Hum, I think that's just the beginning. Not only do you lose brownie points for causing conflict openly within the workplace, you've hurt his relationship with his mother too. Everything should have been done through her, really... but then for something like this she would have needed a lot of guts. Be prepared for the consequences and good luck!

[Jeff1]

Thai family members do NOT go away .

[Explorer]

Do you think he's a boomerang? You let them go and they would make a full circle before hitting you back in the head

Just a thought though

Explorer

[toptuan]

As my secretary started writhing up the oral warning, he stormed out saying he quit!

Freudian slip? I'd say it was the son who started writhing!

[elkangorito]

Just wondering but couldn't you have started all the meetings/business without him? When he rocked up late, told him he simply 'missed the meeting' & he would have to deal with that?

I realise my suggestion is simplistic as I do not know the goings on of 'him' in your company. I guess my idea is that if you give enough rope to losers, they will eventually hang themselves (at company cost). And I guess that you would not be to blame if done in this way.

[Thaising]

Watch out your company’s business plans, he might gang up with your competitors to take revenge. A friend of mine have the same scenario as your, and in the end, his step son use whatever wicks with help from competitor to weaken his company plans.

[Galong]

As my secretary started writhing up the oral warning, he stormed out saying he quit!

Freudian slip? I'd say it was the son who started writhing!

Man, that's kinda funny. I didn't catch that one.

[Galong]

Watch out your company’s business plans, he might gang up with your competitors to take revenge. A friend of mine have the same scenario as your, and in the end, his step son use whatever wicks with help from competitor to weaken his company plans.

Thanks for the comment. In fact, that's to all for every comment. Yes, I know something like this can be sticky and that there could be consquences. However, my wife is totally fed up with him too. She sees that he's done basically nothing and that he'll never amount to anything.

Her only concern is that he'll not go out to find another job and thusly rely on her to pay his bills.

He lost face, true, but not because of me really. I was very calm and matter-of-fact in my delivery. In fact, he lost face by his actions. He makes a LOT of money for doing almost no work. He got pisssed off and left. I said nothing before he stormed out other than, "you've been late many times in the past. I never wrote you up for it. Now though, I think it's time to give you an oral warning. This is Thai law. You have three chances, so this isn't THAT big of a deal."

As I took a video of everything, he can't do anything legally.

Also, he's not smart enough to do anything with my competitors that might affect our company. Plus, we really don't have any competition as we're the only company that does what we do... multi-day kayaking, birding, mountain climbing and mountain biking expeditions. We don't do any walk-in business. Everything comes to us via our websites, which I maintain. There's nothing he can do to give away our secrets because we don't have any secrets, only productive websites (that are in my name).

Thanks again all for you comments. I do appreciate everyone's input.

[Thaising]

Watch out your company’s business plans, he might gang up with your competitors to take revenge. A friend of mine have the same scenario as your, and in the end, his step son use whatever wicks with help from competitor to weaken his company plans.

Thanks for the comment. In fact, that's to all for every comment. Yes, I know something like this can be sticky and that there could be consquences. However, my wife is totally fed up with him too. She sees that he's done basically nothing and that he'll never amount to anything.

Her only concern is that he'll not go out to find another job and thusly rely on her to pay his bills.

He lost face, true, but not because of me really. I was very calm and matter-of-fact in my delivery. In fact, he lost face by his actions. He makes a LOT of money for doing almost no work. He got pisssed off and left. I said nothing before he stormed out other than, "you've been late many times in the past. I never wrote you up for it. Now though, I think it's time to give you an oral warning. This is Thai law. You have three chances, so this isn't THAT big of a deal."

As I took a video of everything, he can't do anything legally.

Also, he's not smart enough to do anything with my competitors that might affect our company. Plus, we really don't have any competition as we're the only company that does what we do... multi-day kayaking, birding, mountain climbing and mountain biking expeditions. We don't do any walk-in business. Everything comes to us via our websites, which I maintain. There's nothing he can do to give away our secrets because we don't have any secrets, only productive websites (that are in my name).

Thanks again all for you comments. I do appreciate everyone's input.

Provided that he be banned from entering your premises and collecting any information from your office staffs.

[elkangorito]

Also, he's not smart enough to do anything with my competitors that might affect our company. Plus, we really don't have any competition as we're the only company that does what we do... multi-day kayaking, birding, mountain climbing and mountain biking expeditions. We don't do any walk-in business. Everything comes to us via our websites, which I maintain. There's nothing he can do to give away our secrets because we don't have any secrets, only productive websites (that are in my name).

Galong, I hope this won't contribute to your already undesirable situation but now that you have mentioned your 'websites', & knowing how the Thai 'thought police' are reactionary to the slightest hint of moral incorrectness, I just hope that your son-in-law does not 'pay off' someone to block your sites.

[Gary A]

Unfortunately I agree with most of the other posters. He is NOT going to go away. I know a guy who had a similar problem except that it was with a brother in law. This is in the boonies of Issan. He was paying the guy 10,000 baht a month and furnished him with a car as well as other benefits. The guy was lazy and caused discontent among the better employees. He is now back and the farang boss says he is now better but for how long is another question.

[Mighty Mouse]

Also, he's not smart enough to do anything with my competitors that might affect our company.

...but he may be smart enough to light a petrol bomb and hurl it through the front door of your business.

Thai's who lose face can go to extremes to regain face. I hope that he is not too bitter at losing his income source.

It may be wise for your wife (and you) to maintain a close and friendly contact with him, particularly over the short term.

I'm just wondering if he slept in late because you over worked him during the day.

[Jeff1]

Also, he's not smart enough to do anything with my competitors that might affect our company.

...but he may be smart enough to light a petrol bomb and hurl it through the front door of your business.

Thai's who lose face can go to extremes to regain face. I hope that he is not too bitter at losing his income source.

It may be wise for your wife (and you) to maintain a close and friendly contact with him, particularly over the short term.

I'm just wondering if he slept in late because you over worked him during the day.

Yeah , now what are you going to do for slave labor ? Only kidding , im sure you paid him more than he was worth as it was .

[AsiaWolfie]

I know its easy said but sometimes hard to be done, but never ever employ a family member or lover...... rather give them a monthly CASH allowance to make them stay away from your business.... I know way too many similar stories....

[GuestHouse]

I have a feeling that you are about to learn the truth of the saying

BLOOD IS THICKER THAN WATER

With respect to the assertion that "he's not smart enough", I'd first ask the question 'What where thinking when you employed your inlaws in your business?'

That this will give rise to problems is not a matter of 'IF' but 'When'.

Figure it another way, what is worse, being late for meetings or causing a member of the family to loose face?

Go speak to the most senior member of the family and get them to help you sort this problem out NOW before it sorts you out.

[jackr]

... or spend 10k

[Galong]

He spat the dummy. I remained totally calm through the whole thing. He voluntarily QUIT. I told him he didn't have to. He got pissed off and split.

He was making very good money in the company. He was also pulling everyone down with his lack of interest and still getting paid well.

He wouldn't do anything physical to the company's property in the knowledge that A. It's half his mom's B. He's too lazy to stay awake long enough to follow through with his plan... gee, does it sound like I don't like the guy?

I'm playing it by ear and plugging in for info from the Mrs now and then. She knows him better than anyone and says that he most certainly won't do anything. I have also offered him work through his mom, but not in the company. I'm doing my part. Remember, he quit and he spat the dummy. I was cool and he knows that I've given him zillions of opportunities to grow and adapt to the working world. Before I hired him, he worked on the traffic accident body recovery team in Phuket Town. He lost that job because of sleeping too late too.

So there! <stepping off of soap box>

Thanks everyone for your responses... a lot of good info!

[Galong]

I have a feeling that you are about to learn the truth of the saying

BLOOD IS THICKER THAN WATER

I plan on applying water when necessary. I know the boy and know what he'll do. You can't really put a blanket to cover a category as large as hiring family. This is a theme with many variations. I know folks who have family working for them and it works quite well.

I do appreciate your concern/advice. Thanks for replying.

[Thaising]

Before I hired him, he worked on the traffic accident body recovery team in Phuket Town. He lost that job because of sleeping too late too.

Let his old colleague recover his body and sent him back to his old job. Maybe one one day he were freshen up.

Edited May 29, 2006 by Thaising

[elkangorito]

Just another thought, Galong...change your Avatar to that of a 'Borg' & have him 'assimilated'.

You'll know what I mean if you've ever watched Startrek.

Edited May 29, 2006 by elkangorito

[oopapasan]

Hum, I think that's just the beginning. Not only do you lose brownie points for causing conflict openly within the workplace, you've hurt his relationship with his mother too. Everything should have been done through her, really... but then for something like this she would have needed a lot of guts. Be prepared for the consequences and good luck!

Forget about face and all that b/s.What took you so long.If I don't like someone out they go.Been there done that.

[drewtown]

The saying "in asia you don't just marry the woman, you marry the family". Some people have good luck others don't.

[Galong]

Hum, I think that's just the beginning. Not only do you lose brownie points for causing conflict openly within the workplace, you've hurt his relationship with his mother too. Everything should have been done through her, really... but then for something like this she would have needed a lot of guts. Be prepared for the consequences and good luck!

Forget about face and all that b/s.What took you so long.If I don't like someone out they go.Been there done that.

yes, in retrospect I should have nipped it in the bud a lot sooner. But you know, the wife's kid yada, yada, yada.

I certainly won't make that mistake again.

[Galong]

Just another thought, Galong...change your Avatar to that of a 'Borg' & have him 'assimilated'.

You'll know what I mean if you've ever watched Startrek.

Ain't never watched it. It's too 'spacy' for my taste

[oopapasan]

Hum, I think that's just the beginning. Not only do you lose brownie points for causing conflict openly within the workplace, you've hurt his relationship with his mother too. Everything should have been done through her, really... but then for something like this she would have needed a lot of guts. Be prepared for the consequences and good luck!

Forget about face and all that b/s.What took you so long.If I don't like someone out they go.Been there done that.

yes, in retrospect I should have nipped it in the bud a lot sooner. But you know, the wife's kid yada, yada, yada.

I certainly won't make that mistake again.

I wonder when you will hire him back?Please inform us.

[tourleadersi]

My wife wanted me to employ in laws and herself in my business. A flat NO right from the start seemed to work. When she asked why I told her that 'I wouldn't want to ask her to sack members of her own family' as she would be working in a HR role. She seemed to understand the implications and has dropped the issue.

[elGrande]

If he was coming in late with customers waiting you really had no choice.

The little terd did not have enough respect for your Farang customers so he was likely not being respectful on the tours either.

I am not a believer in family businesses ... seems to cultivate incompetence. The whole Thai ruling class system operates like a family business.