How should I feel?

[Mudcrab]

Go with the charcoal plan to your friends. If they still won't give you money, I bet at least one will offer you a lighter.

Give the man some respect...he's been studying Thai for ten years...."I bet one will offer you a fi-chek"

[Mudcrab]

In Australia we have a saying that a true friend would give you the shirt off their back. And it's true. What the OP has though aren't friends but acquaintances he may have met here and that is a very different thing.

[Pii Kate]

I understand your situation and feel for you. But to look at the other side for a moment. There is a lady here in Chiang Mai who hits up all the new people (me included) for money. Her story is compelling until it becomes a monthly deal and many of us find out we are all getting hit for the same amount. I'm was her bank, not friend. Refusal to support her turned into comments about how low class I am. So be it.

[tetleythedog]

<script type='text/javascript'>window.mod_pagespeed_start = Number(new Date());</script>

I wouldn't ask in the first place, I'm a very proud person. I wouldn't lend or give money either. When money is owed by a friend and they can't repay then its the borrower that stops talking to lender.

I have worked hard to stand on my own two feet, I expect the same from others. Your lucky to have enjoyed 10 years in Thailand, I never could, but thats my problem.

Thank you. I would lend if I had it. If it helps a friend out temporarily. That's what friends are for.

Is it? I always thought that friends were people who enjoyed each others company. I've been here 9 years, i've never borrowed, but occasionally lent, i don't now though. I came here with 2 suitcases and not much else, i work as a teacher and support myself, don't ask for favours, but have a small circle of good friends. Too many people here look on their bar associates as friends, they are when you are buying, but "fine weather" friends are everywhere. What the hell are you going to do? What have you been doing? Spending capital with no source of income..........a fool's game !!!

[tartempion]

30 years ago I lent 2000 equivalent euro to a friend.

He paid me back and one year later asked me 3000 euro equivalent.

Still waiting....

And although he lived 200km from my place he did get to visit his parents nearby my place a few tmes a year.

He never stopped by on his way.

He is no longer a friend and I will not lend money anymore to anyone.

Edited February 28, 2014 by tartempion

[harleyd61]

I live in Thailand now for 5 years

My wife " lend" also money to her (Thai) friends.

I said do not give,

but she did it.

Cost about 200.000 baht.

they were good longtime friends.....

[mrtoad]

Is this a troll post?

Shouldn't you now be concentrating on what you will eat next week,month or year ?

That's why I asked for the loan. I need to pay my rent and eat. Can't believe my friends wouldn't help a few hundred dollars. They make that every day.

Your financial woes are not your friends responsibility.

I know it sounds harsh, but I am sure, as I have found out to my cost in the past that these types of loans often just don't get paid back. Particularly, with foreigners. In my first few years here, I paid someones hospital bills, was around 70,000 baht, as they were very sick, and needed hospitilisation. They promised to pay me back, as did the family. I'm still waiting. I had another "friend" also who owes me monies from several loans. They keep telling me that they're going to pay it back, I don't believe them, and I've written it off.

So, I have a rule now where I won't lend to anyone.

Sorry to hear of your predicament, but maybe it's time for you to return home.

[asiamint]

Here is what your doing wrong

You need to be thinking of solutions everyday.

Stop where you are and ask yourself what can i offer? What services can i do well?

When you have a plan and purpose you will achieve.

Right now you need to shake yourself awake and do what i said

Your asking friends to throw there money away, which is not very friendly of you.

You don't have a plan, if you had a plan people might back you

I might even back you if you had a good plan, any sane human being would.

Stop focusing on problems and everyday think upon solutions.

here is what helped me, and if you follow this in one years time all this stress will be a distant memory

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=egyG6Q3uSUs

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pqzcCfUglws

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yLX15eFEHW0

All three have a proven track record of success. Time to be humble and keep an open mind and learn from the masters.

[Mosha]

Lend your money and lose a friend.

[thailampang2012]

i saw here while ago "do not lend what you are not willing to lose"....In that contest I will lend to a friends and not asking back...If I am not getting back first time I will not do it again.....But, like you said, if a friend is showing that can do it without regretting, and not offering what its can do for you, is not really a friend....or....its knows something about you that restrain it to do it. Every case is different....and it is very easy to call "friends" to people that are just passing by in our lives....

[ozyjon]

Even if i was your best friend i wouldn't lend or give you money, if you don't have money now how will you have it in the future, it won't happen, but i will give you shelter, food, any support you need but never money, if i was to get all the money i have loaned to others over the years i would be a millionaire twice over, easy, but i have been ripped off so many times that i now have friends on one hand business friends on the other and they never mix. Sorry to hear of your situation, you just need to get a job and get back on your feet not get into more debt.

[neverdie]

I might lend money but that would depend on the person and of the situation.

I would never lend to a stranger over the internet though.

I hope you get through. this OP. It's certainly a difficult situation.

[smotherb]

Get off your arse and get a job teaching English.

[jackvale]

5pm: I've been in touch with web designers all day to relaunch the business that made me rich in the first place. Wish me luck

I'll update this space whether I go up or down within the next few weeks. I can sell my motorbike and go from there. Not taking any loans .

You've all inspired me in one way or another. Cheers.

[nottocus]

5pm: I've been in touch with web designers all day to relaunch the business that made me rich in the first place. Wish me luck

I'll update this space whether I go up or down within the next few weeks. I can sell my motorbike and go from there. Not taking any loans .

You've all inspired me in one way or another. Cheers.

Maybe u should keep the bike. U never know. U might need it to smash in to the back of a truck if the charcoal doesn't work. That's if u can afford the gas.

[Scott]

I have deleted some insensitive, and therefore either off-topic or inflammatory, posts and replies.

I wish you the very best of luck and keep us posted.

[BaldPlumber]

What exactly do you mean by "rich"? perhaps you could give us some numbers for context.

Also, perhaps I am being a bit dim, but doesn't online selling involve holding stock of some sort? where does this fit into your master plan?

Finally, why are you incapable of setting up your own website?

Just curious.

[Blackfox]

The term "rich" is typically used for those of extreme wealth. I doubt you've ever been close to affluent, let alone the former.

Borrow money from family (if it's true you do have), then get on a plane and get the &lt;deleted&gt;#% out of here.

You are a bottom feeder without the intellect and foresight to maintain financial integrity/independence. Harsh I am; the truth sometimes is, and you need to accept it.

LOS has enough like you.

Sell the bike, purchase a one way ticket, and clear out.

Sent from my iPhone using Thaivisa Connect Thailand

[Hecate]

You can't change how your friends act, you can only change yourself. That's what you need to focus on. You should not be trying to launch a business if you are flat broke. You should be looking for a steady job until you have some cash in the bank and doing the online thing part time. How are you going to pay the web designers?

If I was your friend I would tell you to sell the bike before you ask for money. I was injured at a young age. It happened without warning, and I had no savings and couldn't work. I pulled it together without any help from my friends. You can too.

[seajae]

I've known my best friend for 30 years. Would I loan him money because he can't afford to pay the rent? Hell No! He's financially irresponsible...period. Yes he gets a steady pension. But he lives beyond his means. Now, if something happened because of an accident or unforeseen disaster...that would be different story.

Sounds like either after 10 years your business took a dive and you failed to recognize it or even have a safety plan for back up or you too, are simply irresponsible enough to know when to bail. But then again, I know nothing about your situation other than you seem upset no one around you would loan you money. Need to look "inward" before you look outward. Try a bank.

Thank you for the reply and advice. I hear what you're saying but at the end of the day, if someone cannot pay their rent and feed themselves, friends should turn their back and say "hell no?"

actually you are not hearing anything anyone is saying, on one hand you tell us your broke and cant pay for rent or food and on the other you are saying you need money to pay wages, two totally different stories. If you have money to invest then you have money to pay for food and rent and dont need to borrow. If your work options are so good why doesnt anyone want to invest in them. I am afraid your idea of friends is all wrong. A friend is there when you need them to help you, not there for you to use while trying to create a business i another country plus as you have already used your family and got no where why should they be prtepared to lose their money as well. If the business is so good then go to the US and start it instead of complaining about people here, sounds to me you are the one that has it all wrong.

Edited February 28, 2014 by seajae

[ginglee]

30 years ago I lent 2000 equivalent euro to a friend.

He paid me back and one year later asked me 3000 euro equivalent.

Still waiting....

And although he lived 200km from my place he did get to visit his parents nearby my place a few tmes a year.

He never stopped by on his way.

He is no longer a friend and I will not lend money anymore to anyone.

That was a fortune back then ! My parents bought a house around that time for less ! I couldn't let that go ......

[Beetlejuice]

Sorry to hear you have come to this situation. I don't think you should hold your friends responsible for your well-being. Friendship is not same as financial support..

That's my opinion

Sent from my HTC One using Thaivisa Connect Thailand mobile app

I disagree. You know the expression "through thick and thin?" My mark of a real friend is when they are there not only in the good times. Bear in mind, I'm asking some people who have very good income/savings. One recently inherited millions of dollars. They share with me their highs and lows yet when I come to them with my low, the door is shut. Should I even consider these people friends and continue seeing them? What does it say about our friendship? I've never asked any friend for money before. It's not like this is a habit. "Nobody knows you when you're down and out."

You have learned a fundamental lesson in life, that if you have no money, no one wants to know you, you have the curse of a leper.

Most so-called friends are OK providing you can keep on a similar level, but falter then the philosophy becomes, a friend in need is to be avoided.

My old Dad used to say; there is no such thing as a friend who will stick by you through thick and thin or bite the bullet if need be, and he was right.

They say; when the chips are down one finds out who their friends are, and for those that do reach rock bottom, they`re few and far between.

This is one main reason I have said many times on Thai visa in previous posts, those who decide to plonk themselves in Thailand should plan well, rather than living on a hope and a prayer that all will work out. Sadly it appears you are finding this out the hard way.

[allanos]

I think the OP is learning some of the hard facts of life, from the other members, that he should have already been

cognisant of. Life can be cruel, and money and friendship are uneasy bedfellows.

Best to hit rock bottom, know that's where you are, and begin the long haul back. Selling the bike may be the

unpalatable truth that you need to set you on the road to recovery.

[Blackfox]

[quote name="Beetlejuice" post="7503931" me as financial support..

"My old Dad used to say; there is no such thing as a friend who will stick by you through thick and thin or bite the bullet if need be, and he was right."

BJ, you're Dad was wrong.

It comes down to the calibre of the person and the people he has as friends.

As I said in a previous post (an hour ago), there are plenty of bottom feeders here in Thailand.

Bottom feeders attract and socialize with same.

Those bottom feeders are generally attracted to a home here, because they live a mediocre life, at best, in country of origin being on the lower socio-economic scale and are not appealing to the opposite sex.

Bottom feeders don't have high calibre friends.

Some people do have friends they would do anything for, and those friends would do same.…even when the chips are down.

Bottom feeders/low class people will never really make it and they don't have any REAL friends…and I'd say that's most of the farangs here in Thailand and on TV.

To the OP, as I wrote previously, sell the bike, get the ticket and go back to your cold home.

You're a &lt;deleted&gt;#%ing sad case.

Edited February 28, 2014 by Blackfox

[Beetlejuice]

Many so-called friends and acquaintances I have known in the past and some today, are the types that often boast about how well they are doing and how generous they are to themselves and families, and enjoy to display their cash in their wallets so that everyone can see, but if out with them in a restaurant, will check their bills vigorously in case they may be paying 1 baht too much towards someone elses bill at the table. I am sure everyone knows the types. They try to appear generous on the surface but in reality they are as tight as a-seholes and wouldn`t pee in someone`s mouth if they were dying of thirst in the desert.

This is not paranoia on my part, but from life experiences, although in the past I have also met some wonderful, kind hearted people. But normally it`s united we stand, and divided if we fall down.

One of my greatest fears in life is running out of money, which in a way is a good thing because it has made me even more determined to succeed, plan well and play carefully during my life.

Please remember this OP, as the name of the name is help your self, be wise, don`t leave yourself vulnerable and above all, never place too much faith in people or expect anything from them, as you`re going to be disappointed.

Edited February 28, 2014 by Beetlejuice

[hands22]

I think the OP just want to hear this- YES, you have bad friends!

Anyway, good luck to OP and hopefully he will find a true friend next time.

[JimMagee]

Loans to friends usually ends friendships. I would never loan money to a friend who I wanted to keep as a friend. But I might gift it to him.

[Ludacris]

OP, is your current situation connected to the largest takedown in history of boiler rooom operations that occurred today in the UK and Spain?

I have a feeling that crackdown just put a lot of people in Thailand out of work, including web designers...

http://www.bbc.com/news/uk-26367166

[Beetlejuice]

[quote name="Beetlejuice" post="7503931" me as financial support..

"My old Dad used to say; there is no such thing as a friend who will stick by you through thick and thin or bite the bullet if need be, and he was right."

BJ, you're Dad was wrong.

It comes down to the calibre of the person and the people he has as friends.

As I said in a previous post (an hour ago), there are plenty of bottom feeders here in Thailand.

Bottom feeders attract and socialize with same.

Those bottom feeders are generally attracted to a home here, because they live a mediocre life, at best, in country of origin being on the lower socio-economic scale and are not appealing to the opposite sex.

Bottom feeders don't have high calibre friends.

Some people do have friends they would do anything for, and those friends would do same.…even when the chips are down.

Bottom feeders/low class people will never really make it and they don't have any REAL friends…and I'd say that's most of the farangs here in Thailand and on TV.

To the OP, as I wrote previously, sell the bike, get the ticket and go back to your cold home.

You're a &lt;deleted&gt;#%ing sad case.

Of course it comes down to the calibre of the person, providing you can financial keep up with them on the same levels.

What shall I do, I have no money?

Tell you what; sell everything you own, even the shirt off your back if you have to, then f off out of my sight and go and stave to death somewhere else. Ha ha ha ha, you`re one of the very types I was talking about.

They have no real friends? Bottom feeders indeed. With friends like you, who needs enemies?

The wise man says; people will give you anything providing you don`t need anything, but fall down that rocky slope and become desperate and really in need, than that`s a different story.

Edited February 28, 2014 by Beetlejuice

[dotx]

Also, I think the problem might be that you don't have a plan. You say you need to borrow 10,000 from friends for rent and food, but what are you doing to ensure you'll be able to pay for yourself the following month? Are you looking for a job? Because even if your friends lent you enough to survive March, April is coming right after that.

Oh, the old "you don't have a plan!" excuse. Yeah, I planned my life already when I was 7 years old and every possible random life pathway has already been included in the master plan!

WTH? I wasn't talking about a life plan. I meant a plan for APRIL. That's a month away. If you don't have a plan (you know, start looking for a job, sell your stuff, move to a cheaper place to live, whatever) to get you out of trouble, you're going to need to borrow money again in April.

Edited February 28, 2014 by dotx