How should I feel?

[shirtless]

Just remember many of the expats here brag about how rich they are , maybe your friends are not that well off , our they are just tight bastards that really are not your friends.Or like me the last couple of loans i have made have never been repaid so now I dont lend money.

[stickylies]

cry for attention...

[little mary sunshine]

To HAVE a friend, you have to BE a friend......You sound like another <deleted>.ken drunk who has

abused his family and friends and now is Playing "POOR LITTLE ME" No one LOVES me.....

YOUR RIGHT No one LOVES an abusive DRUNK

[Hippos]

Jack your full of BS. Get a life!

[robblok]

I wouldn't ask in the first place, I'm a very proud person. I wouldn't lend or give money either. When money is owed by a friend and they can't repay then its the borrower that stops talking to lender.

I have worked hard to stand on my own two feet, I expect the same from others. Your lucky to have enjoyed 10 years in Thailand, I never could, but thats my problem.

Thank you. I would lend if I had it. If it helps a friend out temporarily. That's what friends are for.

Yes but your saying yourself that you have no idea how to remedy the situation.. so lending you would be a never ending story.

Just get back home find a job and come here on holidays.

Loaning a friend is not a problem, if he can pay it back.. supporting a hopeless cause is.

[Julie H]

Only the captain stays aboard a sinking ship......see you later buddy

Sent from my GT-I9300 using Thaivisa Connect Thailand mobile app

[mmushr00m]

Depends on how good a friend the friend is.

If it's just someone I meet for drinks and have no connection outside of that. NO.

Without knowing the entire story it's hard to say.

You said you "have already received help from family, have no idea how to remedy it and losing hope and the desire to do anything about it".

So its been happening for awhile. Maybe they offered advice which were ignored? And maybe they have decided to wash their hands.

Besides your statements doesnt exactly inspire the thought of collecting on any loan.

Ask for money to go home and see what they say.

[Scottythai]

Get a job making excuses! From reading this you are quite good at it!

[Nip]

Did you really expect any sympathy or understanding here? "Who let the dogs out?" You let the dogs out!

Real friends? They will find you and the old adage is very true "If you don't expect anything you will never be disappointed."

[phuketrichard]

sorry to hear about ur situation but as others have said

they are ur friends not your banker.

You made bad choices an now u wish your friends to bail you out?

How long can u go on living month to month?

Say they do "lend" you $$ for a month or 2, than what?

[ronthai]

From the OP's posts he sure sounds like a troll. If not sorry about your situation, but threatening to kill yourself does not help anybody and people just don't care. Happens daily here in Thailand.

Anyway your friends are just your drunk f.. around drinking buddies.

Why do people think that drinking buddies are friends?

I was in a similar situation 6 months ago, also online business that went bad beyond my control.

I am back in business now and still in Thailand.

I did receive some help, but ONLY from real friends, farang and Thai, you know the poor kind.

I had also plenty of rich drink buddies, who called themselves my friend.

Years ago I even helped one out financially, when he was down, because did not get a job for a long time and money ran out.

He of course did not help me in return, because he is just a drunk drinking buddy, not a friend.

Good luck to you.

[boisian]

My friend just asked for a loaner (we all lend each other dosh in times of inconvenience or opportunity or extreme hardship) and i was quite embarrassed to let him know I could not assist due to my TGF's family draining my resources.

[happychatter]

in Thailand for 10 years on an ed visa. ? seems a very long time you must be able to speak fluent thai by now. why don't you

offer to do cleaning / housework / washing / ironing for your friends for a small fee ?.if your financial situation was dwindling away

so fast why did you spend 30000 baht on another session learning thai ? Food and somewhere to sleep would be more important

than learning to speak thai.

I don't get the part about having an online business selling stuff and wanting money to pay salary to people. you said you don't

have enough time left to get a work permit to teach English but did you have a work permit to conduct your online sales business.

so did you tell your friends when you was trying to get money from them that it was for business purposes as well as for food and rent.

So you now trying to tug at every ones heart strings by threatening to light up the barbque in the bathroom.

[jacksam]

Sorry about your situation but you skipped a lot of detail. For example how old you are. Did you work the full stint in your own country or just wander in 10 years ago and the money has run out. I prob wouldn't give you a cent. Having said that I paid for an X Thai gf breast cancer surgery and no it was not the water buffloo. X at the time I might add. Its all about alternatives. How did you not see this coming. <deleted>.

Edited February 28, 2014 by jacksam

[MobileContent]

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In Thailand, it is rare for people to pay back money they borrow.

With no employment, plan, or prospects, I am sure they don't think you would / could repay a loan either.

Would you lend money to someone like you?

 

I do have a plan but it's business so there's no certainty but I used to be rich doing this line of work (online sales) and my friends were always with me when the chips were high. They know my situation and things could be better without having to run back to my country. I cannot afford a plane ticket anyway. I cannot pay my rent or food soon. My friends can help but don't want. If I was in their shoes, I would help a friend. We have a lot of history and that's credit in my eyes. I'm imagining myself in their shoes. Help put food in a friend's mouth? I would never even hesitate and pontificate. They know what I've accomplished and were quite happy to be there for many years when I was spending with them. As soon as my situation changes, who are you?

I have been in the on-line sales for almost 15 years. When the chips were high you should have saved the money from the profits and reinvest not more then half in the business to keep the growth running and coming.

I am now 24 years in Thailand and the number 1 rule is do not borrow money from other expats or farang friends in Thailand and in fact don't borrow at all from anyone in this country. In exchange do not lend money to anyone in this country and spend the money wisely when you make some good profits, reinvest it in real-estate, a car or gold which almost can be turned back into cash when you really need it.

Any way, good luck !

[zeichen]

Sounds like these issues that you are in were forseeable. I could understand if you had an accident or something major happened and you lost everything you own overnight. But having a dwindling business and failing to see the future and making poor decisions, I don't think that you should blame your friends. You paid 30k baht to get a year visa when you didn't even know when or how you would pay for your rent sounds like you are living impractically.

First of all, you don't need rent or food money, go to a temple and you will at least have that taken care of. Selling things that you may need in the future to pay for living today isn't smart either. Sell that motorcycle try and get a refund on your school, get a ticket back to your home country. Get on welfare until you get a job and start rebuilding your world.

We all can have financial troubles but most of us are not in denial and do what we need. When I was running down to my last 500k baht in the bank, I left the country for 6 months and worked my tail off to build it back up. You waited until you had 5k baht in the bank before you thought there was a problem.

Don't blame your friends. Besides what does one of them being a millionaire have to do with you. Most of my firends that are seriously affluent don't even pick up the lunch bill. Occassionally they are generous but I didn't retain a friendship with them because I might need their wealth someday.

You sound very selfish but are the one that thinks others are.

Good luck.

I will pay the 5k baht for you to stay at the tallest hotel in BKK if I don't have to hear you whine about how you expect others to take care of your problems.

I wouldn't even ask family for help for the situation you got yourself into.

[larsjohnsson]

I need advice.

Been living in Thailand 10 years. About to hit rock bottom financially. No idea how to remedy the situation. I've already received help from family. Losing hope and the desire to do anything about it.

I have known some people here between 1-6 years. I asked all for a small loan to cover rent/food. All declined.

In your opinion, are these people my friends?

Be realistic here. You have no money. And you have no idea how to remedy your situation. Your family have already helped you.

How can you loan money then? It's obvious that you will not pay back that loan. It's not a loan: it's a gift you are asking for.

Sorry to say it. But you should go back home.

[Dimpys Dad]

If this is not a troll post:

I am sorry for your plight. Go back home, cold or not and don't waste anymore time here. Go back and do whatever it is you are good at. Re-establish relationships and work so you can generate an income. Evaluate what got you to this point and do not repeat your old mistakes. Do not give up just because of current circumstances because circumstances change. Show your friends you are making necessary sacrifices and if they are friends then they may help you sort things out but do not expect welfare. Man up.

[jackflash]

If they were good friends they would NOT lend you money until you faced up to your problem and developed a plan to deal with it.

If they gave you money in your present frame of mind, it would only prolong and worsen your situation.

Edited February 28, 2014 by jackflash

[larsjohnsson]

Sorry to hear you have come to this situation. I don't think you should hold your friends responsible for your well-being. Friendship is not same as financial support..

That's my opinion

Sent from my HTC One using Thaivisa Connect Thailand mobile app

I disagree. You know the expression "through thick and thin?" My mark of a real friend is when they are there not only in the good times. Bear in mind, I'm asking some people who have very good income/savings. One recently inherited millions of dollars. They share with me their highs and lows yet when I come to them with my low, the door is shut. Should I even consider these people friends and continue seeing them? What does it say about our friendship? I've never asked any friend for money before. It's not like this is a habit. "Nobody knows you when you're down and out."

But if those friends asked you for a loan. They would not get any money.

[soldoutbmx]

How should you feel ? Bad. Sort your self out

Edited February 28, 2014 by soldoutbmx

[Suradit69]

I wouldn't ask in the first place, I'm a very proud person. I wouldn't lend or give money either. When money is owed by a friend and they can't repay then its the borrower that stops talking to lender.

I have worked hard to stand on my own two feet, I expect the same from others. Your lucky to have enjoyed 10 years in Thailand, I never could, but thats my problem.

Thank you. I would lend if I had it. If it helps a friend out temporarily. That's what friends are for.

No idea how to remedy the situation. I've already received help from family.

"If it helps a friend out temporarily."

Apparently your friends (and family) know you better than you do and see lending/giving money to you as just postponing the inevitable. If you've been here 10 years and not seen this coming or not seen any way of avoiding this or reversing it, just taking hand-outs at this point is putting a sticking plaster on a ruptured aorta.

I'm on the other side of this same situation with a friend who knows how to spend money but not how to budget or plan ahead. I've got his bank book for monthly mortgage payments that I've paid into directly for a few months so I know the money is reaching the bank. Sometimes I ask him to "help me" on shopping trips to Friendship or Big C and I pick up the tab for lunch and whatever he buys in the way of groceries. I've given up any hope that he'll ever be able to manage his affairs sensibly and, as would probably be true for you, I know I'm just postponing the inevitable. I can afford it, but could also use the money for myself. It's reaching the point when I will have to call a halt to this. If he loses the house, everything I've paid into it goes down the drain too. I pity him, but pity and friendship rarely exist together for very long.

I think maybe you should spend less effort questioning the nature of the dubious friends you have and more time coming to terms with your own problems.

[little mary sunshine]

Your Question: "How should I Feel" ?

My Answer: "Like a LOSER and MOOCH !!!!!!!!!!

[Daniel Boon]

Jackvale ... by your own admission, you have no prospects here in Thailand, so anyone lending you (other to fly home) would be a loss ...

expectation leads to disappointment ... my best mate lives in Thailand, I cannot afford to (meaning I didn't forward plan) whereas he did ...

bite the bullet ... go home, earn some money and if possible and you still want to, return ... you know it makes sense

[Travel Dude]

Although i would not mess in things that are not mine you are asking people's opinion so here you go:

* I feel a lot of jealousy from you towards your friends

* Friendship does not entitle you to your friends money.

* How long have you been doing that Internet stuff? How come you could survive for 10 years and now you have nothing? Can't control income and expenses? Too many girls or too much booze?

* If your online idea was such a great idea I am sure your 1 Million Dollar friend would invest... so why doesn't he do that?

* I feel a lot of negativity around you as a person, trying to make others responsible for your well being is not a solution.

* Your answers show you are a stubborn person, almost a looser who tries to win the discussion

* A majority of posters do not agree with your thoughts. Maybe it is time to really consider yourself instead of pushing it to others.

* If they are such good friends and refuse to help they might have good reasons for that.

* Time to go home my friend, even if that is not what you want.

[brit1984]

if you literally need the money to survive, i'm sure any real friends would help you out financially or by providing a place to sleep and food to eat... i've had similar help from friends (especially thais) who have known me much less than 10 years...

however, from what you've said it sounds more like you are asking your friends for a loan to support some business idea without a business plan and with no obvious reason to believe it will provide a financial return... there are plenty of ways to make money online without hiring staff

[Ruin]

You are in a country where "lending" money is an oft used scam even though this is not your case, you're swimming in those waters.

I would (and have) help friends by letting them stay with me, being a host means food and laundry like things too. I would try to help them find a job.

Having a friend to talk to, mull things over with is different from the ATM mate.

[brit1984]

i'm sure it is a really stressful time for you but if you give this some thought you will find ways to make money without investing upfront...

i think now is time to start asking friends if you can stay with them (or with their parents/brothers/sisters/aunties/uncles upcountry where people tend to have more living space and a more communal eating arrangements)... you can offer to provide non-financial help in return (e.g. helping around the house/garden, helping any kids/adults who want to practice english, or doing something online for their business or just helping them get set up with online banking / similar)...

once you have a roof over your head and food in your belly you should be a bit less stressed, you can use your imagination/experience/connections to find a way to make money online, or maybe even get a regular offline job

[BWPattaya]

How many times have we met people who have either borrowed or loaned cash in these situations? I personally know of several who needed cash and it is never repaid by the borrower. This is not like someone who wants to borrow a couple of thousand Bt because he has forgotten his wallet. This is someone who is unable to pay his way and certainly won't be able to pay it back. I had an acquaintance here who came with two suitcases full of money that he had embezzled. When he had spent it all on alcohol and ladyboys he borrowed 30,000 Bt from a friend of mine to buy a flight ticket back to the UK. He spent that on alcohol. Eventually he was arrested and send to the IDC until someone paid for his flight. Even his family wouldn't lend him money.
Anyway, there is the old adage "Neither a borrower or lender be!" It splits friends.

Irrespective of the above the post is about how the OP should feel. He thinks they are friends but as they do not do what he wants he blames them for his situation. He needs to accept responsibility for his actions. Stop dwelling on them, take control of your own situation, and certainly don't try to blackmail people by talking about charcoal.

Of course, he could easily be a troll and I have just wasted 5 minutes typing.

[The Usual Suspect]

Is this a troll post?

Shouldn't you now be concentrating on what you will eat next week,month or year ?

That's why I asked for the loan. I need to pay my rent and eat. Can't believe my friends wouldn't help a few hundred dollars. They make that every day.

So if you get money for rent and food for one month... what about the month after that ?

I need money to hire people in North America to help me try to make money online. I've sent out dozens of emails today asking business people to partner with me but no replies yet. With my current savings, I cannot hire anyone outright.

Excuse my presumptions, but this is starting to smell like a Nigerian scam in progress. Initial post, then slowly building the story to gain the readers sympathy and confidence, then the request for money for a legitimate sounding reason. Only thing I haven't seen is the request for cash......(perhaps it's in the thread?)