How should I feel?

[jacksam]

Yes I have replied earlier to this wankeer. What makes me laugh is all the members talking this troll seriously as he sits back and laughs at how gullible you are. Waiting now for his next post " how do I pick a genuine gal from a gold digger" give me a break. He and is mate (if he has them) are having a bet to see who can get the most replies with a nonsense OP

[bangkapi]

I disagree with most posters here, I do belive that if you have real friends then they will help you through thick and thin and would want to help you, of course real friends and drinking buddies are different but life isnt meant to be a cold place where your on your own you.

Sometimes you just need a bit of help to get your back on track and one hopes that family or friends would want to help, i know i would.

Good luck OP hope it works out.

Really?

If they were real friends, they would have noticed his situation much earlier and advised him to get out of here and get his act together.

Because that's what friends do.

In the words of Aesop, the guy is a grasshopper bothering all of the ants.

[Beetlejuice]

Yes I have replied earlier to this wankeer. What makes me laugh is all the members talking this troll seriously as he sits back and laughs at how gullible you are. Waiting now for his next post " how do I pick a genuine gal from a gold digger" give me a break. He and is mate (if he has them) are having a bet to see who can get the most replies with a nonsense OP

It is 50/50 whether the OP is a troll or not, but nevertheless, my comments are aimed at anyone who already is or could in the future be in a similar situation.

Many years ago I also believed in a fairy tale land where all the people are loyal, have strong moral principles and will always come across for you if the need be. Now again, don`t get me wrong, I haven`t got a chip on my shoulder and are forever wary of people, all I know is that I must never fall below the water surface because there are no lifeguards that are going to drag me out if I`m drowning.

I have learned in life, to never depend on people because they`re undependable and expect nothing from no one except for some courtesy and respect if it`s deserved. Also, without being mean and stingy, to try and give back what we receive, but to treat our money like lifeblood, because without it you`re sunk, as sadly for many people it`s money what is closest to their hearts.

Trust me on this one.

[ChoakMyDee]

I have been very fortunate in my life to have had 2 very good friends. Real friends. I have also had the misfortune to have fallen on hard times a couple times. When I asked to borrow money from 1 of my friends his response was "sure, how much do you need?". He didn't give me a lecture. He didn't ask me what I needed it for. He knew what my character was and he trusted me. A couple years later I was in a position to loan him a few thousand after a business deal went sour. Same same...I said "Sure, how much do you need". He paid me back a few months later.

It's absolute bullshit that you shouldn't loan money to a friend. Maybe some of you haven't had a real friend in your life and you refer to acquaintances.

To the OP, I think maybe you learned these people you thought were friends were not true friends. Although right now, things are very difficult for you, you can come out of this experience a lot wiser and stronger and maybe you will choose your friends a bit more carefully in the future. I wish you the best.

[larsjohnsson]

I have been very fortunate in my life to have had 2 very good friends. Real friends. I have also had the misfortune to have fallen on hard times a couple times. When I asked to borrow money from 1 of my friends his response was "sure, how much do you need?". He didn't give me a lecture. He didn't ask me what I needed it for. He knew what my character was and he trusted me. A couple years later I was in a position to loan him a few thousand after a business deal went sour. Same same...I said "Sure, how much do you need". He paid me back a few months later.

It's absolute bullshit that you shouldn't loan money to a friend. Maybe some of you haven't had a real friend in your life and you refer to acquaintances.

To the OP, I think maybe you learned these people you thought were friends were not true friends. Although right now, things are very difficult for you, you can come out of this experience a lot wiser and stronger and maybe you will choose your friends a bit more carefully in the future. I wish you the best.

Was it the same for you and your friend ???

1 No idea how to remedy the situation.

2 You had already received help from your family

3 No desire to do anything about it.

I would say that asking for a loan after those 3 points, that's fooling/cheating a friend

[NeilSA1]

I've lent money to friends and have not been disappointed, however I usually only lend what I can afford, and what I think they will be able to repay. BUT there has to be a take out source -

ie a reasonable expectation of income to facilitate the repayment, otherwise it is not a loan but a gift.

[kimbathewhitelion]

A rule of thumb, never loan money to friends or family, the act always ends in disaster.

Sent from my iPad using Thaivisa Connect Thailand

[10Yen]

Is this a troll post?

On ThaiVisa, Never..................

[10Yen]

A rule of thumb, never loan money to friends or family, the act always ends in disaster.

Sent from my iPad using Thaivisa Connect Thailand

I lent my brother 10,000 Pounds, he paid me back, so it doesn't always end in disaster does it ?

Maybe for you it did, but don't think your poor experiences are a rule to live by.

[10Yen]

I've lent money to friends and have not been disappointed, however I usually only lend what I can afford, and what I think they will be able to repay. BUT there has to be a take out source -

ie a reasonable expectation of income to facilitate the repayment, otherwise it is not a loan but a gift.

Sorry mate, I'm late with that 17 Baht loan you gave me......give me a little time......

[kimbathewhitelion]

A rule of thumb, never loan money to friends or family, the act always ends in disaster.

Sent from my iPad using Thaivisa Connect Thailand

I lent my brother 10,000 Pounds, he paid me back, so it doesn't always end in disaster does it ?

Maybe for you it did, but don't think your poor experiences are a rule to live by.

Not about experiences just a rule to live by. Discipline is key. Using the word "disaster" was wrong but better to not go there. To the OP, if your friends don't loan you money it's not a "negative" against you.

Sent from my iPad using Thaivisa Connect Thailand

[NeilSA1]

10Yen

".....Sorry mate, I'm late with that 17 Baht loan you gave me......give me a little time......"

No problem, I usually only lend what .... I think they will be able to repay. In this case its a gift, not a loan.

[1Ping1]

How to keep and have life long friends and loving family......................Two simple rules................. Never loan money to friends and never loan money to family.....

I would rather starve to death than ever ask either for a dime. Everyone grows up with different values and moral codes. Those just happen to be mine.

As one member wrote. Most likely you need to look within yourself for answers. Pointing blame or going the woe is me route directed at your friends truly gets you nowhere.

[JLCrab]

5pm: I've been in touch with web designers all day to relaunch the business that made me rich in the first place. Wish me luck

I'll update this space whether I go up or down within the next few weeks. I can sell my motorbike and go from there. Not taking any loans .

You've all inspired me in one way or another. Cheers.

Well best of luck and all but based on my experience (many years back) and based upon reading stories more current, it won't be soon before those web designers and all say to themselves:

If he isn't going to pay us and has no money to invest in getting the business up-and-running, what do we need HIM for?

[ericthai]

5pm: I've been in touch with web designers all day to relaunch the business that made me rich in the first place. Wish me luck

I'll update this space whether I go up or down within the next few weeks. I can sell my motorbike and go from there. Not taking any loans .

You've all inspired me in one way or another. Cheers.

Very good, now you are getting smart and taking responsibility for your own predicament. I'm sure since you were once rich that you have plenty of other things you can sell too. So keep selling your stuff until your business gets going. Once things get going again you need to be smart and plan for the future. Invest in things that will keep money coming in . Condos are good income earners. Wish you all the best and update us once you make some more progress.

Edited March 1, 2014 by ericthai

[Pinot]

I don't lend money to friends because then they're no longer a friend, they're just someone who owes me money.

[laobali]

What exactly do you mean by "rich"? perhaps you could give us some numbers for context.

Also, perhaps I am being a bit dim, but doesn't online selling involve holding stock of some sort? where does this fit into your master plan?

Finally, why are you incapable of setting up your own website?

Just curious.

Better stick to plumbing. No perhaps about it.

[Nayet]

I get the impression you are a native English speaker, so I don't see what excuse you could have for not taking a teaching job? And don't say you can't get one, because literally the only requirement for some of the less sought after teaching jobs is that you are a native speaker (and even that is oftentimes negotiable).

[wym]

White skin often more relevant, they usually can't tell if a eg Polish guy says he's British, out in the country many 25K jobs are hard to fill

[jackvale]

5pm: I've been in touch with web designers all day to relaunch the business that made me rich in the first place. Wish me luck

I'll update this space whether I go up or down within the next few weeks. I can sell my motorbike and go from there. Not taking any loans .

You've all inspired me in one way or another. Cheers.

Well best of luck and all but based on my experience (many years back) and based upon reading stories more current, it won't be soon before those web designers and all say to themselves:

If he isn't going to pay us and has no money to invest in getting the business up-and-running, what do we need HIM for?

What I'm trying to accomplish now is finding web designers in North America (my target market). I can't afford to order a site myself now so I figure better to split the profits with a designer (for now) who will invest in making the site and handle hosting while owning the site. I handle production of my service, sales, and customer service. We both need each other. I'm the expert in my field.

Once I have enough $$, I'll branch out solo and/or have a slew of designers all over N. America, Oz, and Europe, splitting the profit under the aforementioned setup. Both have their merits but I'd rather take it all. . We'll see how it goes. In talks with many webbys all day yesterday and today. I'm seeing the light...

If you are in North America and can make websites, please contact me. Thank you.

[wym]

why on earth require they live there?

[ebcal]

While I think many people would like to help out a very close friend, I would like to point out a few things first for those who say they are not friends, if they dont lend.

1. Due to the numerous scammers, people are a bit leery to lend money. It is a shame that scammers ruin things for those who truly will pay back. But, realize that many people who might be willing to lend have no way of knowing if you are indeed sincere, or just a good actor and scammer. You only look at it from your side, but you need to look at it from the other side as well. Obviously, knowing someone in depth, for a long long period of time might give more insight into the situation of whether someone is a scammer or not, but also realize your idea of a friend, like an occasional drinking buddy may not be other's definition of a close friend that they would lend money too.

2. 99% of people who have money problems likely got that way because they made bad decisions with money and dont manage their money wisely. Yes, there are cases where one uncontrollable event happens that can leave someone without money, but for many, there is a long historical pattern of poor financial management. So, giving a little bit of money will only help them for the minute, and then later they will be in trouble again. The OP mentioned they used to be rich, and having borrowed from family before, which also hints to a history of not managing the money wisely when one had it, and having been in the situation more than once, which lends support that one's financial decisions and money management may be poor. Now, maybe there is also a good reason for this (and every borrower thinks their predicament was not their doing or due to any decision they made) , however, realize that only you know all the details, and friends on the outside looking in may not, so again, it may be a different perspective from the friend's point of view.

3. All of the non-scammers all believe they will pay back, or fully intend to pay the money back, but the poor financial decisions and habits that got them into the situation in the first case dont magically change, so a good percentage of them wont pay be able to pay it back, since they will be in future financial difficulties. All of them think they just need it this one time, then will get back on their feet. Just this once, then I will get back on my feet is a repeating storyline. But, for most, it is a repeating history of financial difficulties due their bad financial management. A loan therefore just helps them get out of one financial quandary, but their poor financial management will soon get them into the next financial problem. And thus in many cases, the loan will often not be paid back. Yes, you can improve on this pct, by trying to assess the borrower's ability to pay back in the future. I have lent money a number of times to good friends in need, and I feel every one of them borrowed with the intent to pay me back, and most all of them have never paid me back. Most all of them have again gotten into another financial bind, after the one I helped them out of.

Now, I generally do not loan out money to friends any more because of having not got paid back so many times. But, I also followed the rule to never lend money that you cant afford to not get back, so lend with the thought that I probably wont get it back, It does get tiring when so many people think since you are a friend, that you can lend them money. OP should know that maybe many of these people he has asked have been hit up many times, not just his request, and maybe not paid back, and maybe some are just tired of it, and dont want to risk not getting paid back.

So, before you judge all those that will not lend you, consider some of these things from their point of view.

Edited March 1, 2014 by ebcal

[jacksam]

Hells bells , this is a scam. Someone try this for fun. Contact the OP and ask how to be involved in his business. Have your bank details handy. You won't want to miss out on this ripper business opportunity. Better still offer 10k baht but you want 20% return in 4 weeks. He will say no, but I will give you 25% especially if you can make it 15k.

Geez

[JLCrab]

So the plan is to find website developers to develop and host a website in exchange for (any) future profits based upon the OP's proven but herein undisclosed expertise. Makes me think of this exchange in the movie "Clear and Present Danger" with Harrison Ford as Deputy CIA Director Jack Ryan:

[Jack needs a helicopter]

Jack Ryan: I'm here to rent the Huey.

Helicopter owner: We don't rent it anymore, but it is for sale.

Jack Ryan: How much?

Helicopter owner: Two million dollars.

Jack Ryan: Uh, my pilot and I will have to take it for a test drive.

Helicopter owner: Of course, you just have to leave a deposit.

Jack Ryan: How much is that?

Helicopter owner: Two million dollars.

[ebcal]

I have been very fortunate in my life to have had 2 very good friends. Real friends. I have also had the misfortune to have fallen on hard times a couple times. When I asked to borrow money from 1 of my friends his response was "sure, how much do you need?". He didn't give me a lecture. He didn't ask me what I needed it for. He knew what my character was and he trusted me. A couple years later I was in a position to loan him a few thousand after a business deal went sour. Same same...I said "Sure, how much do you need". He paid me back a few months later.

It's absolute bullshit that you shouldn't loan money to a friend. Maybe some of you haven't had a real friend in your life and you refer to acquaintances.

To the OP, I think maybe you learned these people you thought were friends were not true friends. Although right now, things are very difficult for you, you can come out of this experience a lot wiser and stronger and maybe you will choose your friends a bit more carefully in the future. I wish you the best.

Your opinion has been shaped by positive experiences. That is fine, but please realize others have had their opinions shaped by many negative experiences, i.e. lending to so called trusted friends and never getting paid back. Those are equally valid experiences and opinions. And yes you can challenge them that they did not pick their friends well, or should have known their friends better, etc., but the fact still remains that this is their experience. One question I would ask is if your view would be the same were you to have lent many times to friends who did not pay you back? The response will probably be that you have a good judge of character and would only lend to trustworthy people, but again, this notion is shaped by positive experiences. It can easily be that you thought someone was trustworthy and did not get paid back, which would be an experience that would change your viewpoint.

And we have no way of knowing how good, how close these "friends" were. The OP could have thought they were close / good friends, but that feeling may not have been reciprocated. We have no way of knowing the OP and how he came across to his friends, was he trustworthy, did he show good judgement, etc. I think he mentions being rich before, but wonder if he tried to save any of that money, and mentioned that he borrowed from his family before, so this is not a one-off financial predicament. It suggests a history of bad financial decisions and not investing money wisely when he had it. So, also points to maybe it repeating and not getting the money paid back. And maybe paying the money back is really more of an enabler to keep the bad decisions and poor financial management going. And realize that in this day and age, everyone is hit up for money from friends, strangers, scammers all over, and sometimes that gets tiring and people shut off to it, or it makes it hard to discern the really valid cases that do deserve help.

So, like anything in life, we are all shaped by our experiences, and because those experiences are different, we have different views. And I dont think one view is necessarily wrong. And we should realize that there are more experiences than our own that might lead to different viewpoints. Yes, in absolute terms, it would be nice if we could always could help out friends in need, but unfortunately, it is not that simple. And some may still retort, it is that simple, we should always help out friends. I wont say that is wrong, as I think that is a great view that shows a lot of compassion, but I also understand the other side about feeling reluctant to lend for various other reasons and experiences.

Edited March 1, 2014 by ebcal

[tingtong]

Is this a troll post?

Shouldn't you now be concentrating on what you will eat next week,month or year ?

That's why I asked for the loan. I need to pay my rent and eat. Can't believe my friends wouldn't help a few hundred dollars. They make that every day.

Some kind of work comes into my mind...

Does it come into yours too? What do you do, - apart from asking around for "loans" - to change around that situation you dig yourself into?

In my personal opinion, the real friends would offer help, wouldnt need to ask. But keep in mind, there is difference between friends, and those ppl casually call friends...i have only few friends i would help out financially, within my means, from all the ppl i know for 1-10 yrs!!

[Starre]

Really I think you find out who your friends truly are when circumstances in life take a turn for the worst. Last year I suffered a brain hemorrhage, was in a coma for nearly 2 months and have taken the last 9 months to recover. During this time I lost just about everything namely the successful business which I had steadily built over 10 years. When I was out it in hospital, several friends stepped up and took care of my mother whom I was supporting, paid my bills and did anything they could during and after my illness to get me back on my feet. Some of them I considered to be in my inner life circle but many of them were just customers and people I knew through the business or socially. Whilst waking up and realising I virtually had to start again in life at age 44, I felt so heartened and blessed by the people who didn't think twice about giving money or helping my immediate family even though they knew I might not be able to pay them back for a long time. Really they made it clear they didn't expect to be paid back at all and money was not important between friends even though I am still trying to pay them back one way or another.

On the flip side of this, 2 days into my coma, 2 people I trusted as friends took it upon themselves to rob my business of several hundred thousands of dollars of stock and fittings. At that stage my prognosis was not good and I had been given about a 10% chance of survival so they reached the conclusion they should take everything that wasn't nailed down given I'd probably die anyway. Unfortunately whilst I was in the coma, the insurance for the business expired and what these guys robbed made it's closure imminent when I eventually did wake up.

The conclusions I reached from this experience, you never know who your friends are until you are really in crisis, Also money doesn't mean anything between friends. If a friend is in desperate need, you do what you can to help get them back on their feet. For those on their high horse thinking "I worked hard for everything I have and I'm not going to share it with anyone", crisis can strike randomly and without warning any time during your life. Put yourself in the other persons shoes before you judge them and refuse to offer help - that could be you one day. Frankly I'm surprised at the number of people that put money before people and friendship these days. It's probably got a lot to do with why the world is in the state it is in.

[JLCrab]

What a terrible coincidence your insurance expired the day or day after you went into a coma else it would have still been in effect the following day when the robbery occured

[Bantex]

My friends can help but don't want. If I was in their shoes, I would help a friend. We have a lot of history and that's credit in my eyes. They know what I've accomplished and were quite happy to be there for many years when I was spending with them. [\quote]

Good friends will help you in other ways but not with free cash which they've worked hard for. "Credit in your eyes" it would be a lot better with credit in your bank account. You state they "were quite happy to be there for many years when you were spending with them" which infers that they were also spending!!!

Go get a job.

Sent from my iPhone using Thaivisa Connect Thailand.

[The Usual Suspect]

The funny thing here is so many of us well meaning members have been repplying to this scam dill. His constant instant replies means he is sitting on his cell somewhere laughing away. I guess its one way to have a conversation.

His instant replies are one of the signs of a scammer. Do you think a fisherman is going to ignore his nets and let the fish get away? I had a Nigerian clown I was playing with (meaning, I knew his game and just messing with him for fun), He would answer my emails at any hour of the day or night. He probably slept with his computer right by his head so he would hear "you've got mail!"