"mismatched couples" - definition?

[HalcyonDays]

I think there's a bit of confusion there

But of course in the end, their choice what they want to do with their lives once they've left, and I'm not going to judge them, nothing wrong IMO with sex work from a moral POV.

No. There's no longer any confusion at all. You have been banned from this forum countless times. I can that see that now.

You're not wanted. Why don't you just go? It ought to be very clear by now that no one subscribes to your sick views.

And please stop talking about morals. You wouldn't know what a moral is even if one were to come and slap you in the face. You have no morals at all.

[wym]

You see what you want to see, your interpretations are mostly projections from inside yourself. My code may well be different from most, but doing good and not doing any harm is core to it, and something I consistently abide by.

[Daniel Boon]

I going to have another crack at this ... in a chronological observational order.

but before I start, be aware that I see cracks in what I am about to write; however, this articulation is me trying to get my head around the 'mismatched couples' topic ...

I have had Australian women and non-Australian women; the non-Aussie have been daylight to second; as with things, there is cause and effect. Be it their upbringing, peer group or expectations.

When you are older, and looking to stay in the age group of 10 years or so, many older women have expectation driven issues, they don't want to lose their individuality (not that I wanted them to; it is extremely important to me that they be so), or they are in an 'over-correct' mode ... I could go on, but we all have a life ...

I never intended to get married again; my ex was the driver to come to Thailand (to attend a mate's birthday) coupled with dental work ... more dental work called for one last trip (passport ran out 2014) and never to leave OZ again.

I went with my son to a function, I met this woman, I was not looking. Yes, she is younger, but she hasn't got a mindset entrenched in antagonism (but she IS an individual) ... my biggest critic of this potential relationship was (am still fighting it) me. So, me and my soon-to-be wife fit the mismatched couple; it would be far cheaper to fly over, share with others, empty the scrotum, let myself go, no commitment, but its not me ... and more importantly, its not her.

So I wish you the happiness I will focus on for me ... 'opposites attract' and 'people who have things in common' ... now there are two mismatch statements ...

[Scottythai]

I think there's a bit of confusion there

But of course in the end, their choice what they want to do with their lives once they've left, and I'm not going to judge them, nothing wrong IMO with sex work from a moral POV.

No. There's no longer any confusion at all. You have been banned from this forum countless times. I can that see that now.

You're not wanted. Why don't you just go? It ought to be very clear by now that no one subscribes to your sick views.

And please stop talking about morals. You wouldn't know what a moral is even if one were to come and slap you in the face. You have no morals at all.

Hmm not that I are about WYM or anytohers but for a guy with only 44 posts you sure seem to know about lots of posters from the past. Maybe you to were once a banned member?

[Carl64]

A classic mid match is an Aussie guy and an Aussie woman!

[Daniel Boon]

Carl64 ... I presume you meant 'mismatch' (if you had only told me many years ago)

[Somsrisonphimai]

When they're ready to go? What, are you fattening livestock? Who are you to determine something so vulgar? Some kind of perverted finishing school you run up in Issan? Jesus, I thought this forum was weird but my God….

I've just checked the rules for this forum.

26) Not to create multiple accounts. Any member found to have more than one account on the ThaiVisa Forum will be suspended. Suspended or banned members found creating additional accounts will be banned immediately.

WYM is someone who posted in the past and was banned. It's definitely him. I remember how he talked about "preparing" uneducated farm girls for a life of prostitution.

Yeah you're wasting your time.

The mods will have seen posts drawing attention to Wym's aliases - there have been many including "sunlong", "PaiMan", "Cluey", "boosta" and FunFon (a loser who didn't pay his rent for more than a year and came on here asking how he could weasel out of it) - but I guess they don't think it's him.

There's an easy way to tell - the guy can rapid fire posts like nobody's business.

Seriously each one of those aliases had extremely prolific posting rates.

Hey, the man has a lot of thing say. I like reading his posts, and most of his posts are informative and educational.

Sent from my iPhone using Thaivisa Connect Thailand

[Aussieroaming]

I think the perception of mismatched couples in Thailand isn't always true

When you see an older guy western bloke and a younger Thai girl they stand out due to looks, age difference etc and people make assumptions.

Examples

Western couple, same age, different goals, different ideals ...they look like a perfect match but they are a dysfunctional mismatch

Versus

Older western man, younger Thai woman who share common goals and are genuine about their relationship ... that's a match

Versus

Older Asian guy and younger Asian girl ..... people don't really take notice of them because they don't stand out like a sore thumb

As the saying goes, don't judge a book by its cover

There are plenty of couples in Thailand who may appear mismatched to someone who makes assumptions but are in fact in functional, happy and long term relationships... they compliment each other and make a perfect match

[marko kok prong]

I remeber a couple of years ago my now wife then girlfriend,where at Karon beach i think,i took a few photos of her looking lovely on a sun longer,when i developed them i had to laugh,on the next set of sun loungers was an american couple[ i remember hearing them talk], he was a decent looking guy,,tall,slim but she was a bit of a whale,i looked at the first photo they are both looking at me,he with a look of envious amazement on his face,she with a look of dissaproving disdain,in the second one he is clearly looking across at my lovely thai girlfriend,whilst she scowls into the distance,the third cracked me up ,he regards his rather large girlfriend with a look of"what the hell was i thinking coming here with her",at the time i was 47,my girlfriend 35,2 years on she is my wife still looks beautiful, i sometimes wonder how the american couple fared,if anything they were the mismatched ones that day.

[thailiketoo]

Do men really come to Thailand looking for a wife? I've never met one. They came for a lot of things but I have never met a man who came here looking for a wife.

I feel that you;re being cynical and joking, because in reality there are lots of fellas who come here. looking for a wife. Though, I can't say the same about women coming here looking for husbands.

Oh, I know they exist on Thai Visa and on the dating sites but I live here. I've never met a Farang who lived in Thailand who was actively seeking a wife. Running from yes - seeking no. Why would a guy who lives here, speaks the language and can get along alone want a wife? Living in the West or on vacation it might seem a good idea with a large knowledge gap between romance and fairy tales and the reality of life in Thailand.

So, to answer your question, no I wasn't being cynical and joking. I don't hang with anyone who has not been here for 10 or 15 years and none of them want to get married again here or anywhere else. That's why they live in Thailand.

[marko kok prong]

I going to have another crack at this ... in a chronological observational order.

but before I start, be aware that I see cracks in what I am about to write; however, this articulation is me trying to get my head around the 'mismatched couples' topic ...

I have had Australian women and non-Australian women; the non-Aussie have been daylight to second; as with things, there is cause and effect. Be it their upbringing, peer group or expectations.

When you are older, and looking to stay in the age group of 10 years or so, many older women have expectation driven issues, they don't want to lose their individuality (not that I wanted them to; it is extremely important to me that they be so), or they are in an 'over-correct' mode ... I could go on, but we all have a life ...

I never intended to get married again; my ex was the driver to come to Thailand (to attend a mate's birthday) coupled with dental work ... more dental work called for one last trip (passport ran out 2014) and never to leave OZ again.

I went with my son to a function, I met this woman, I was not looking. Yes, she is younger, but she hasn't got a mindset entrenched in antagonism (but she IS an individual) ... my biggest critic of this potential relationship was (am still fighting it) me. So, me and my soon-to-be wife fit the mismatched couple; it would be far cheaper to fly over, share with others, empty the scrotum, let myself go, no commitment, but its not me ... and more importantly, its not her.

So I wish you the happiness I will focus on for me ... 'opposites attract' and 'people who have things in common' ... now there are two mismatch statements ...

I am with you on this,my ex in Aus was a tyrant that i stupidly allowed her to become,after crawling round under houses and through roofs,she would expect me to cook dinner, after lunching and coffee all day with her friends,many of her friends husbands were cuckolds,the difference was i would not put up with this,so divorce ,she took my house,buisness and new car,and refused me access to my kids,then i come to los for a holiday and meet my now wife,wow what a breath of fresh air,not only was she slim,beautiful,but no way would she ever expect me to cook or clean,'this lady job' she tells me if i try to even wash a dish,i do not have to beg for sex and we are very happy together,i agree opposites attract,a lady from a different culture and race,wow,what an amazing journey of discovery,with a few bumps along the way,but relationship wise this is the best i have ever,had,we have a 12 year age gap so not too much,suffice it to say my ex in Aus is still single,i wonder why?

[marko kok prong]

I cannot understand why Wym is getting such a hammering today,i have not found his posts offensive,maybe we have some Cromwellian puritans on tv.

[HooHaa]

When they're ready to go? What, are you fattening livestock? Who are you to determine something so vulgar? Some kind of perverted finishing school you run up in Issan? Jesus, I thought this forum was weird but my God….

You comments about WYM's finishing school are interesting. I've seen posts like this before on this forum.

I'm now 100% sure that WYM posted on this forum in the past and was banned.

I remember he talked about coercing little farm girls into lives of prostitution.

I know I'm not wrong. There really was a guy a while back who talked about his "finishing school".

BigJohnnyBKK is the fellow you seek, he has returned and after a short period of restraint has begun proselytizing again, finding a way turn every thread he encounters into an exposition of his real/imagined lifestyle.

He also likes to speak of tolerance and respect for sex workers while using terms like "good girl" to make his point out of the other side of his mouth.

to his credit, he did not speak of coercion but does talk about making financial arrangements with parents and teaching his women in an exchange of services for value. He is quite proud of his finishing school and claims to offer his services only to those of lower education, unspoiled by by urban and western influences.

[LaraC]

I remeber a couple of years ago my now wife then girlfriend,where at Karon beach i think,i took a few photos of her looking lovely on a sun longer,when i developed them i had to laugh,on the next set of sun loungers was an american couple[ i remember hearing them talk], he was a decent looking guy,,tall,slim but she was a bit of a whale,i looked at the first photo they are both looking at me,he with a look of envious amazement on his face,she with a look of dissaproving disdain,in the second one he is clearly looking across at my lovely thai girlfriend,whilst she scowls into the distance,the third cracked me up ,he regards his rather large girlfriend with a look of"what the hell was i thinking coming here with her",at the time i was 47,my girlfriend 35,2 years on she is my wife still looks beautiful, i sometimes wonder how the american couple fared,if anything they were the mismatched ones that day.

..perspective is an amazing thing. Its so easy to intemperate what someone was thinking based on your own perspective.

Could well have been a look of '<deleted> look at that scabby bloke with his thai hooker, how disgusting that he would publicly behave like that'.

The american guy may well adore his wife..as much of a whale in your eyes she may have been..and was thinking Jesus, that western guy is a real saddo, im really sad my wife has to witness whore-mongering whilst we take a much needed holiday.

Of course..she was your gf not a hooker, but some people sadly have that stereotype in their minds, particularly when its an attractive young asian women with some random not very high on the looks scale western man.

Just as i think it would be wrong for them to have that perspective, i think its wrong for you to assume that they are not happy as a couple.

btw..wasnt Pierce Brosnan recently in Thailand with his wife? Have you seen her size? He adores her apparently..inseparable. Now theres an older guy that could have his pic from stunning women the world over..and im talking about real stunning women, the whole works included..not just a pretty farm girl from the East of Thailand. Yet, happy with his wife (of course, those with a blinkered perspective may think differently).

Sometimes what you project upon others as being their view, may not be the actual reality.

[HalcyonDays]

When they're ready to go? What, are you fattening livestock? Who are you to determine something so vulgar? Some kind of perverted finishing school you run up in Issan? Jesus, I thought this forum was weird but my God….

You comments about WYM's finishing school are interesting. I've seen posts like this before on this forum.

I'm now 100% sure that WYM posted on this forum in the past and was banned.

I remember he talked about coercing little farm girls into lives of prostitution.

I know I'm not wrong. There really was a guy a while back who talked about his "finishing school".

BigJohnnyBKK is the fellow you seek, he has returned and after a short period of restraint has begun proselytizing again, finding a way turn every thread he encounters into an exposition of his real/imagined lifestyle.

He also likes to speak of tolerance and respect for sex workers while using terms like "good girl" to make his point out of the other side of his mouth.

to his credit, he did not speak of coercion but does talk about making financial arrangements with parents and teaching his women in an exchange of services for value. He is quite proud of his finishing school and claims to offer his services only to those of lower education, unspoiled by by urban and western influences.

Okay, so his name's Johnny. I see you too have noted his proselytizing tone and penchant for dragging debates down to the lowest possible level.

His manner makes me think of those whacko cult leaders who operate whacko "churches" in places like Texas and California.

Henceforth perhaps we should refer to him as Reverend Johnny. And I guess his finishing school could be The Church of Isaan Edification.

Maybe I'll start a new thread: Reverend Johnny and the Church of Isaan Edification

[HardenedSoul]

I cannot understand why Wym is getting such a hammering today,i have not found his posts offensive,maybe we have some Cromwellian puritans on tv.

To be honest, I don't give a toss one way or the other but when he says shit like there's nothing wrong with prostitution from a "moral POV", he deliberately ignores the deep emotional scars that kind of life leaves on far more of these women than he finds convenient to admit.

Sure, if two parties are consenting adults, why not? It's her decision, right? Yes I suppose it is

But surely, grooming young, farm-fresh girls to enter a life of subservience, submission and, yes, prostitution so he can have his depraved way with them makes the concept infinitely more odious.

If he wanted to do something for them, why not just help them improve their English or teach them how to use a computer for free??

In my view, if you wanna help people, then you just bloody well HELP them - you DO NOT make that help conditional on them accommodating a chemically-assisted portion off a fat, decrepit old lech in his freaking 60s or 70s.

The guy is beyond a disgrace

Edited March 2, 2014 by HardenedSoul

[eldragon]

OK first up I'm late 50,s but pretty fit The Thai gf is 29. The thing is it does not matter if I was not fit of had a limp or whatever. I'm sick of younger blokes on here implying that the old farts have girls because of their money and ability to "take care" Get your head out of clouds if you didn't have some means to support her she would go near you. Yes I'm talking to you tom cruise or the pumped up dim wits. Its about one thing SUPPORT. After that they give it back in spades, even if pushing your wheel chair.

Do you think your gf would rather have a younger guy if she could find one to support her?

[wym]

Hey, the man has a lot of thing say. I like reading his posts, and most of his posts are informative and educational.

I cannot understand why Wym is getting such a hammering today,i have not found his posts offensive,maybe we have some Cromwellian puritans on tv.

Thanks to you both for your public support.

As well as those who've done so via PM, where I'm happy to discuss any issues further.

[dominique355]

I am what you would probably call an "old fart", ugly, a bit overweight (3 kg), but still all hair on the head, none in the ears. I think I am wealthy and can live a comfortable life, no financial problems at all.

And, yes, my Thai wife is 17 years younger than I, mother of two (ours), very attractive and sexy. And she is my second wife. She is a bachelor of political science (Ramkhamhaeng) and has an MBA from NIDA. So she is educated and very rich (for Thai standards) and... she loves me for what I am (well, I have the weakness to believe that).

Somehow this does not fit into the OP's scheme of things here. According to the OP, my wife should be much younger, should have dark skin and no education to speak of. And according to the OP, my wife is not supposed to be married to a farang. Hmmm.... are we a mismatch?

Or is the OP's ideas a bit mismatched?

[eldragon]

That was me. And I think we all know what "mismatched" means. Different age. Different mentality. Etc. In short, little to nothing in common.

With regards to your question (how many readers believe their girlfriend / wife would have still choose them for a partner had he had to openly compete in the west in the real world?), all I gotta say is "Have you seen some of the women in the west?" So, Hell no. Most of the girls I've dated in Thailand would be... very popular in my country. And probably wouldn't be interested in me. Even the less attractive ones I've felt unsatisfied with here would qualify as bragging rights back home.

I think I was pretty specific about the reason many people disagree with the types of "mismathced" couples you see here: most of the women wouldn't be with their foreign bf/husband if he didn't have an income well above the Thai standard and most of the men would never date your average Thai girl if she didn't have a body like a teenager (there's probably something to be said about submission too). If you took those factors out of the equation, the women would pick guys closer to their age and the men would go for mentally mature girls.

[wym]

To be honest, I don't give a toss one way or the other but when he says shit like there's nothing wrong with prostitution from a "moral POV", he deliberately ignores the deep emotional scars that kind of life leaves on far more of these women than he finds convenient to admit.

Sure, if two parties are consenting adults, why not? It's her decision, right? Yes I suppose it is

That seems a very reluctant concession, as opposed to a firm statement of obvious fact.

The negative effects you see are not inherent in the work, but the result of how society treats the workers. Once they are accepted and respected and the industry legalized, their life vastly improves.

Working as a corporate lawyer, in drugs law enforcement, as a broker on wall street also changes people, in many cases leaving deep emotional scars. The fishing industry is by far more physically dangerous.

The denigration of sex workers comes from archaic moralizing by obsolete religious/social control brainwashing.

None of which has anything to do with my own personal life.

I have never claimed to be a do-gooder, I'm motivated by self-interest and am completely open about that with all concerned.

However my own view on self-interest is that sustainability requires you to provide a fair exchange of value, what goes around comes around and being purely selfish is short-sighted.

Lots of guys simply pay cash, buy cars and houses whatever in exchange for their companionship.

If I were to pay for them to finish school and attend university instead is that morally worse?

Your projections about subservience etc are just your own fantasy, believe me girls leave me much more self-assured, clear about their goals and very equipped to accomplish them.

And I think most importantly they know if they just seek to extract a lot of money in a short time by deceiving their partners, they won't end up having a happy life. Honesty and openness, fairness and consideration, delivering solid value for the value received are core values throughout my life, and what I do my best to teach those that live with me.

Obviously it doesn't always take, but no matter how cute and enthusiastic a performer a girl might be, if I see she's going to take the "dark side" and start lying and scamming to get on in the world, out she goes.

[speedtripler]

When they're ready to go? What, are you fattening livestock? Who are you to determine something so vulgar? Some kind of perverted finishing school you run up in Issan? Jesus, I thought this forum was weird but my God….

hes not in isaan ,hes in bkk

[JLCrab]

I enjoy reading the gent's posts. I also keep in mind that there is no Forum Rule 1) - 31) that anything a Member posts has to have any semblance of the truth.

[eldragon]

That was me. And I think we all know what "mismatched" means. Different age. Different mentality. Etc. In short, little to nothing in common.

With regards to your question (how many readers believe their girlfriend / wife would have still choose them for a partner had he had to openly compete in the west in the real world?), all I gotta say is "Have you seen some of the women in the west?" So, Hell no. Most of the girls I've dated in Thailand would be... very popular in my country. And probably wouldn't be interested in me. Even the less attractive ones I've felt unsatisfied with here would qualify as bragging rights back home.

I think I was pretty specific about the reason many people disagree with the types of "mismathced" couples you see here: most of the women wouldn't be with their foreign bf/husband if he didn't have an income well above the Thai standard and most of the men would never date your average Thai girl if she didn't have a body like a teenager (there's probably something to be said about submission too). If you took those factors out of the equation, the women would pick guys closer to their age and the men would go for mentally mature girls.

I should probably add I'm not judging anyone that has this kind of relationship. I personally don't go for em. But everyone's in it for different reasons.

Sent from my iPhone using Thaivisa Connect Thailand

[wym]

I enjoy reading the gent's posts. I also keep in mind that there is no Forum Rule 1) - 31) that anything a Member posts has to have any semblance of the truth.

Well thanks JL, I appreciate that, like to think my posts are sometimes enlightening too, or at least thought-provoking, but I'll settle for providing entertainment 8-)

wrt "the truth", I believe you had a specific challenge in mind last time we spoke, regarding my ex having signed over full custody of the kids to me? To verify the truth of that, I offered to send you the relevant paperwork. Curious as to why you never took me up on that?

I don't lie, substantially anyway, not counting things like answering "do these pants make me look fat?" and "Daddy where did you meet mum?"

Happy to continue further via PM if you like.

Edited March 2, 2014 by wym

[JLCrab]

You said 'enlightening' -- i prefer 'entertaining'. Anything that needs to be said can be said or documented (with appropriate redaction) right here in open forum.

From Silence of the Lambs:

And you're to tell him nothing personal. Believe me, you don't want Hannibal Lecter inside your head.

[wym]

Obviously a lot of what goes on in threads here is often more appropriate in private. If nothing else, I doubt so many are actually all that interested to hear about my life at the same level of detail, don't want to bore everyone.

But more importantly PM allows for a more open level of interaction once a certain trust has been established. You have control over who's got space in your head, I'm certainly not going to eat your liver with some fava beans and a nice chianti.

[jacksam]

OK first up I'm late 50,s but pretty fit The Thai gf is 29. The thing is it does not matter if I was not fit of had a limp or whatever. I'm sick of younger blokes on here implying that the old farts have girls because of their money and ability to "take care" Get your head out of clouds if you didn't have some means to support her she would go near you. Yes I'm talking to you tom cruise or the pumped up dim wits. Its about one thing SUPPORT. After that they give it back in spades, even if pushing your wheel chair.

Do you think your gf would rather have a younger guy if she could find one to support her?

Geez buddy you live here and ask rubbish like that. Yes on one hand she might like to be with a younger guy. On the other hand what is the income of the other guy. How often can he visit. Will he spit her out in a year or two. Don't get your point. She is sitting next to me as I type this showing me the bags she purchased for my sisters in Australia (yes with my money) she is an excitable young woman and I take care of her fully in all ways and maybe some your younger substitute for me. Hells bells this way of life is about TAKE CARE. Also and not deluding myself she likes that I have friends we travel with and hand out in bars or on beach etc. Some people assume that blokes living here in Thailand are some left over rejects from their motherland. I have always had plenty on tapin au. Maybe it was my money or job. Maybe bit of humour. Who knows who cares.

Thing is you come across as someone that jUST landed and sadly that I don't think can be your excuse.

[Tmymaimee]

Wyn, if you're only trying to help these unfortunate girls, why do that have to sleep with you? Couldn't you just help them and leave the sex part out? Or is that the price you charge?

[HardenedSoul]

To be honest, I don't give a toss one way or the other but when he says shit like there's nothing wrong with prostitution from a "moral POV", he deliberately ignores the deep emotional scars that kind of life leaves on far more of these women than he finds convenient to admit.

Sure, if two parties are consenting adults, why not? It's her decision, right? Yes I suppose it is

That seems a very reluctant concession, as opposed to a firm statement of obvious fact.

The negative effects you see are not inherent in the work, but the result of how society treats the workers. Once they are accepted and respected and the industry legalized, their life vastly improves.

Working as a corporate lawyer, in drugs law enforcement, as a broker on wall street also changes people, in many cases leaving deep emotional scars. The fishing industry is by far more physically dangerous.

The denigration of sex workers comes from archaic moralizing by obsolete religious/social control brainwashing.

None of which has anything to do with my own personal life.

I have never claimed to be a do-gooder, I'm motivated by self-interest and am completely open about that with all concerned.

However my own view on self-interest is that sustainability requires you to provide a fair exchange of value, what goes around comes around and being purely selfish is short-sighted.

Lots of guys simply pay cash, buy cars and houses whatever in exchange for their companionship.

If I were to pay for them to finish school and attend university instead is that morally worse?

Your projections about subservience etc are just your own fantasy, believe me girls leave me much more self-assured, clear about their goals and very equipped to accomplish them.

And I think most importantly they know if they just seek to extract a lot of money in a short time by deceiving their partners, they won't end up having a happy life. Honesty and openness, fairness and consideration, delivering solid value for the value received are core values throughout my life, and what I do my best to teach those that live with me.

Obviously it doesn't always take, but no matter how cute and enthusiastic a performer a girl might be, if I see she's going to take the "dark side" and start lying and scamming to get on in the world, out she goes.

<deleted>

Dress it up in fake erudition to your heart's content but even the most committed whoremonger, sex tourist or sexpat would quite rightly suggest that your activities would draw more than a passing interest from law enforcement.

That you have the audacity to compare the mental and emotional scars left on many prostitutes to the superficial ethical conflicts one might experience while being a corporate lawyer or a Wall Street broker beggars belief.

It also illustrates the lengths to which you will go to justify your depravity.

Only an individual adrift in a world in which his genitals make the rules would dream that such a diatribe could even begin to explain away what he does with such flippancy.

What do you mean the negative effects aren't inherent in the work?

You know that's not true and I'm stunned you tried that one on with the forum. Of course they're inherent in the work. A lot - not all - of them despise what they have to do/endure in order to make money.