tomyumchai Posted March 10, 2014 Share Posted March 10, 2014 am i the only 1 with a hairy arse then? if i use that jetwash then i get a soggy wet arse crack which is not at all pleasant. and im sure all it does is dilutes the tagnuts left on your clinker and redistributes as a watery slurry along the length of the stench trench. no thanks, ill stick to the bog roll........no pun intended. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RubbaJohnny Posted March 10, 2014 Share Posted March 10, 2014 The ruddy septic system in most malls can't handle bum guns as well. Every time I tried to flush a bum gun, it keeps getting stuck, and its connection to the wall outlet doesn't help much either. It took me several decadent decades to discover,you are supposed to remove the instrument from the cavity before firing. I know this will com as a great disappointment to avid readers as it says in the cassified escort exertion of the Gnashon ,one insertion and you'll be satisfaction,our aim is too pleas Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RubbaJohnny Posted March 10, 2014 Share Posted March 10, 2014 am i the only 1 with a hairy arse then? if i use that jetwash then i get a soggy wet arse crack which is not at all pleasant. and im sure all it does is dilutes the tagnuts left on your clinker and redistributes as a watery slurry along the length of the stench trench. no thanks, ill stick to the bog roll........no pun intended. Never heard of a whiteman who could benefit so much from the full Brazilian,I believe some of the webstreaming services will even do you for free. Beware unpredicted side effect it makes you belive Thais for a short while until the antSEPTIC wares orf Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hookedondhamma Posted March 10, 2014 Share Posted March 10, 2014 TP is so gross - I won't go places anymore that don't give you a decent bum gun. Agree, but how are you drying? I prefer of course to have the attendant do it, but otherwise I take the opportunity to practise my yoga under the hand dryer: wow wym, I am definitely impressed! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
masuk Posted March 10, 2014 Share Posted March 10, 2014 The Bum Gun as some here refer to, is the advanced version of using a bowl out of a bucket of water that you still find in some of the squatting toilets.We born Asians learn the technique at the age of three or four from the mother, It makes sense when the European paper scrapers have a big issue with the more hygienic methods. This is so common in almost all countries after you cross the Bosporus. I live in Germany and it was when I was rebuilding my Bathroom in my own house, I had to draw the Bum gun and explain to the German born Plumber how and where I wanted it. When the raw drawing was done I saw the letters written by the Plumber, AD which made no sense to me and asked him what fitting that was.....and with a broad smile, he told me......Das ist deine ARSCH DUSCHE! Believe it or not, I had to import the Gun part from Sri Lanka as it was not available in the continental market! My European wife has become a fan of the water and paper method since then and has no problem to use them in a Thai toilet! I hope this Anecdote will get some of the Brits and Aussies here to smile! There is a company in Australia, marketing a toilet set with a built in water squirter. Angles can be adjusted, as can the force of water. The 'bum guns" seem to be in use all over Asia, the only differences seem to be that the Indonesians and maybe the Malaysians, have them fitted to the left of the seats, Rest of Asia to the right. While on this subject, this is the reason why Muslims south of here are highly offended if you offer them anything with your left hand, or eat with your left hand. It was hell learning to use chopsticks with my right hand, but I did it! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jay Sata Posted March 10, 2014 Share Posted March 10, 2014 The foul drains and waste disposal in Thailand verge on medieval compare to Europe. The London sewer system was built over 150 years ago to eliminate the problems you see in the kingdom. In most of the key tourist resorts untreated sewage is still pumped in to the sea a few hundred metres offshore. I've lost count of the number of times I have encountered human waste,condoms etc in the sea while swimming. Of course it will never change because there are no environmental controls on what is pumped where. That includes the air which is filthy because of a lack of controls. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
geronimo Posted March 10, 2014 Share Posted March 10, 2014 Oh No!!! Another bum gun debate!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rockhopper Posted March 10, 2014 Share Posted March 10, 2014 It's my understanding that all toilet paper sold in Thailand must be biodegradable. If true then there is no problem. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
smokie36 Posted March 10, 2014 Share Posted March 10, 2014 What's toilet paper? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BillyBobThai Posted March 10, 2014 Share Posted March 10, 2014 During the American coverage of the Olympics they made fun of disposing of toilet paper in the bin. There isn't a bum gun in the US. My dear Pinot, there are bum guns all over America, they are just in the kitchen. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
1Ping1 Posted March 11, 2014 Share Posted March 11, 2014 am i the only 1 with a hairy arse then? if i use that jetwash then i get a soggy wet arse crack which is not at all pleasant. and im sure all it does is dilutes the tagnuts left on your clinker and redistributes as a watery slurry along the length of the stench trench. no thanks, ill stick to the bog roll........no pun intended. While I truly appreciate the sage advice on how to make these darn things work I admit I am also still a work in progress. The above just might be the greatest post I have read in recent memory. Of course, my memory is shit. No pun intended. I like Tomyumchai, am having a hell of a time with those stating, wash with bum gun, no prob if no paper, drip dry or almost dry and walk away. Not happening in my world. Same as above. Takes hours to dry if no paper, feel like my arse is covered with same slurry refered to above, and why I carry toilet paper around with me like it was my own horde of gold. Not that I can afford any gold. But I can afford a decent roll of butt wipe.......while again, pain in the arse, no pun intended to take with me all over the place. Beats the shi....... again no pun intended out of the alternative, meaning I have a slurry filled arse crack with no way to dry it out.................... Again, great post Tomyumchai, Have never got to close to another mans arse but I guess I always assumed I was not the only man in the world that had an arse like an old growth forest. Thanks again for making my day................ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
laobali Posted March 11, 2014 Share Posted March 11, 2014 Looks like the Bum Gun is creating more interest here than the missing Malaysian Jet. Maybe a little toilet humour is not a bad thing in times of stress. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Robininbkk Posted March 11, 2014 Share Posted March 11, 2014 THai bum guns are the best invention ever. In Thailand there are different types and brands. I like the ones with a strong pressure so it can clean thoroughly. After taking a dump and using the bum gun, I head straight to the shower, which is 1 step far, in the same bathroom... maybe an idea for those complaining about a wet ass and shit sprayed all over your body... 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
slipperylobster Posted March 11, 2014 Share Posted March 11, 2014 Well sir, the answer should be obvious. It would cost about ten dollars more for a wider PVC pipe to avoid clogs. So lets pile up soiled tissue a bin.... Don't you just shudder when you think of all that crapola in a tin can next to you while you are making potty? Sometimes I think..why not just dump on the floor. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
slipperylobster Posted March 11, 2014 Share Posted March 11, 2014 THai bum guns are the best invention ever. In Thailand there are different types and brands. I like the ones with a strong pressure so it can clean thoroughly. After taking a dump and using the bum gun, I head straight to the shower, which is 1 step far, in the same bathroom... maybe an idea for those complaining about a wet ass and shit sprayed all over your body... Much respect goes to the French. They utilize "Bidets". Toilet paper is nonsense, unsanitary, and your bum is nothing but a smelly minefield of skid marks, hemorrhoids. Stop that awful western habit of rubbing that stuff around, and getting your hands all filthy. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Krataiboy Posted March 11, 2014 Share Posted March 11, 2014 A masseuse in Bangkok told me Brits and Americans have the dirtiest bums of any clients. Now I know why. Animals. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cheeryble Posted March 11, 2014 Share Posted March 11, 2014 A masseuse in Bangkok told me Brits and Americans have the dirtiest bums of any clients. Now I know why. Animals. 1 How would she know? 2. I'm English and I can never understand why people wash their hands AFTER having a pee I do so BEFORE because my nether regions are ready for intant call they are pristine at all times you could eat your dinner of them Sent from my iPad using ThaiVisa app Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wym Posted March 11, 2014 Share Posted March 11, 2014 I thought it was only sanitary towels you were not supposed to flush in the pan, apart from the <deleted> of course. No, TP itself is forbidden in most Thai plumbing systems. So are we all still not agreed on, if we can or cannot flush the toilet paper in Bangkok? Yes, you are not supposed to flush TP if there is any kind of sign, no matter how poorly worded. Of course you "can" but that would be irresponsible since the plumbing can't handle it. If there is a bum gun available use that, then use TP if you feel you must to dry so you're not putting actual foeces in the bin. If there is no bum gun but they have TP AND a sign, then I suppose you should toss your sh1tty TP in the bin, but I don't come across that myself. If there are just the traditional Thai-style squat toilet with running water only, then I guess most people posting here are just SOL, do some googling for proper instructions on that, some are very well written and illustrated. Well sir, the answer should be obvious. It would cost about ten dollars more for a wider PVC pipe to avoid clogs. So lets pile up soiled tissue a bin.... Don't you just shudder when you think of all that crapola in a tin can next to you while you are making potty? Sometimes I think..why not just dump on the floor. The issue isn't just at the toilet, it's the plumbing system as a whole, since Thais generally don't use TP, they don't design and build to accommodate our filthy habits. As you note in your next post, much better to just use a bum gun. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wym Posted March 11, 2014 Share Posted March 11, 2014 A masseuse in Bangkok told me Brits and Americans have the dirtiest bums of any clients. Now I know why. Animals. How would she know? Because some farang are so inconsiderate they don't even do a proper shower before lying down for a massage, and obviously our smelly bum odors percolate up to her nostrils! Any decent western-style massage requires vigorous kneading of the large muscle groups including the gluteus maximus, ideally with plenty of oil and getting right up into where the tendons connect to the bones. And even if happy endings aren't involved the perineum does benefit from a good workout, and some will even help keep your prostrate in shape. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thongkorn Posted March 11, 2014 Share Posted March 11, 2014 They spend billions on Building state of the art buildings in Thailand, Then put a bucket next to the toilet to but arse wipes in , Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ArfurMaggot Posted March 12, 2014 Share Posted March 12, 2014 Having lived here since before I was born, I have tried all methods for this problem. I find there is no simple solution or "one size fits all" remedy. My current method is "Thai style". I have grown one fingernail on my pinky finger and use this to grate effect. I do, however, now suffer from a permanent "Dirty Sanchez" as I like to pick my nose. Should I use a "bum gun" on my boogies? Sent from my GT-I9100 using Thaivisa Connect Thailand mobile app Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jocko Posted March 12, 2014 Share Posted March 12, 2014 What's toilet paper? Looks and feels similar to the rolls of paper you get in some cheaper Thai street restaurants . When i first came to Thailand i thought that paper looks a lot like toilet paper. Silly me i'v learned a lot since Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wpcoe Posted March 12, 2014 Share Posted March 12, 2014 There is a company in Australia, marketing a toilet set with a built in water squirter. Angles can be adjusted, as can the force of water. The Japanese have had "washlets" for decades, and not only do they heat the water (necessary in a cold climate), but also there are models with fans to dry the damp area, deodorizers, body fat ratio measuring devices, music, etc. I've bought two basic washlet models here in Thailand at HomePro -- no water heating, just a water pressure adjustment and a switch to aim the nozzle from front (for ladies' personal hygiene use) or rear. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
masuk Posted March 12, 2014 Share Posted March 12, 2014 What's toilet paper? B-U-M-P-H Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sarathjay Posted March 14, 2014 Share Posted March 14, 2014 It is hilarious to read the problems most of you have in cleaning your A....es. What most of you don't know is that you have two bloody hands to use for the job! In the one you first spray whats hanging around the exit point without aiming at your nuts and in the second stage use the other hand while spraying to give the whole area a last polish. Believe me, for those like my teenage European daughter who has never touched her exit point, it was a shock when I explained how I do it and finalize the action with a piece of paper to do the final drying.Of course you end up outside washing your hands with soap and water which I have not missed in any Thai Public toilet. Think of the brake marks on your underwear when you do the paper scrape! I know I have put it in writing what other think! I hope that the one or the other would try it out after my detailed explanation..... Enjoy your day folks! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cheeryble Posted March 14, 2014 Share Posted March 14, 2014 I suggest in the west there needs to be a little holding tank, maybe a gallon, to go with an obligatory bum gun. At least the water will warm up to approaching ambient temperature. An icy burst direct from the main on a December morning might otherwise cause irreparable damage through what proctologists call "overclench" and the sphincter may never recover. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wym Posted March 14, 2014 Share Posted March 14, 2014 The four bum-gun-equipped houses I know in the US are all in very cold climates, and I've never noticed such a problem. If anything I'd call it refreshing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HooHaa Posted March 14, 2014 Share Posted March 14, 2014 TP is so gross - I won't go places anymore that don't give you a decent bum gun. Agree, but how are you drying? that is the question of a true neophyte Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HooHaa Posted March 14, 2014 Share Posted March 14, 2014 TP is so gross - I won't go places anymore that don't give you a decent bum gun. Agree, but how are you drying? I prefer of course to have the attendant do it, but otherwise I take the opportunity to practise my yoga under the hand dryer: like you could even fit into those shorts let alone a do handstand Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sarathjay Posted March 14, 2014 Share Posted March 14, 2014 In my home in cold Germany, I extended the hot and cold water pipes from the shower and fixed a mix tap on the Bum gun. This can be done in the initial stage of the building or when a complete renovation takes place. In the 6 years I have it in Germany, I never had to wait for warm water as the bathroom itself has a temp to keep the cold water far above freezing point. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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