How important is quality sex to you when choosing a partner?

[wym]

If you're in the beginning of an affair and your girl friend doesn't show any interest doesn't mean that she's frigid. I've met quite a few foreigners here who told me that Thai girls wouldn't kiss their partners.....

Kissing isn't part of indigenous culture here other than that cute "sniff kiss.

Girls new to farang have to be taught, and of course most think it's pretty gross to start, just like when girls first learn to kiss back home but at a much later age 8-)

Most Thai women are actually just fine with their husband fooling around, as long as 1 they don't lose face -

Complete rubbish. You don't know what you're talking about.

Thai women -- just like women elsewhere -- suffer enormous pain when learning of their husbands' infidelities. I've seen women driven to alcoholism by the selfishness (not to mention disrespect) of cheating husbands.

Very many Thai marriages end due to infidelity on the part of the husband. Only a fool would not know this.

And many more go on just fine with the wives being fine with it.

I think the greater problem - and for me clearly a major moral problem - is when it is actually cheating; that is, one partner is unfaithful without having negotiated that up front with the other and given them the chance to do the same.

I do know many Thai families well enough for them to share these issues with me, and in many cases the three or even four "generations" of mia get along just fine.

In some the older/earlier ones all gang up on the latest favored youngest one.

But the whole extended family - sometimes separate families, multiple sets of kids - manage to somehow muddle on pretty successfully.

It's the guys that can't afford it but go ahead anyway that IMO are causing the biggest dramas.

In any case, my point is that it is much more common here, not the full-on polygamy philosophy and lifestyle as idealized in the west, but enough points of intersection that it is much easier to create it if that's what you want.

Actually many encourage their husbands to turn their sexual attentions to prostitutes when they get bored with satisfying him. It is extramarital romantic relationships that they have a problem with.

Exactly, because "romantic" love = threat to the main relationship.

[wym]

I've got a friend who's very large, and it causes him no end of problems here, I'm grateful I'm just average. . .

Clothes...the bum gun....just getting in and out of taxis and chairs would be a problem I guess.

Better than that, I've seen little spinners running out screaming into the street from the ST hotel wrapped only in a sheet. 8-)

Edited March 18, 2014 by wym

[atyclb]

Put yourself in her shoes. We should all take a deep breath and exhale, look in the mirror, and ask ourselves "if i were a woman, how excited could i get and how much motivation would i have to perform well?"

[GoodLookingMan]

Most Thai women are actually just fine with their husband fooling around, as long as 1 they don't lose face -

Complete rubbish. You don't know what you're talking about.

Actually many encourage their husbands to turn their sexual attentions to prostitutes when they get bored with satisfying him. It is extramarital romantic relationships that they have a problem with.

Have you ever been to Thailand?

A "mia noi" isn't simply a casual fling. It's an ongoing affair with romantic strings and an emotional attachment.

You say that "many encourage their husbands to turn their sexual attentions to prostitutes ". I think we can both agree that you have zero empirical data to support this assertion.

But not to worry -- this after all is just a trashy forum which only an idiot would take seriously!!

[dighambara]

HMMMM....???

I have never experienced a woman who was totally disinterested. A few partners went thru cycles of interest, but even during losw times were quite willing to play.

However, the reverse has been my concern as I have gotten older - testerone decrease, less stamina, etc... Luckily, as one gets older, one learns more and overcomes such difficulties.

[GoodLookingMan]

Most Thai women are actually just fine with their husband fooling around, as long as 1 they don't lose face -

Complete rubbish. You don't know what you're talking about.

Thai women -- just like women elsewhere -- suffer enormous pain when learning of their husbands' infidelities. I've seen women driven to alcoholism by the selfishness (not to mention disrespect) of cheating husbands.

Very many Thai marriages end due to infidelity on the part of the husband. Only a fool would not know this.

And many more go on just fine with the wives being fine with it.

How do you know? Be truthful -- you don't. You're simply reciting trash you've probably heard from sex tourists and bar sluts.

Have you ever been to Thailand? Your comments are akin to those of tourists who've spent a week or two in Thailand at most.

[wym]

On the contrary.

I've lived here for fifteen years, and go for weeks at a time never speaking any English except to my children and students.

There are of course many different subcultures in Thailand, perhaps the circles we mix in are very different.

More likely your more westernized Thai acquaintances aren't completely honest about their culture and personal lives, since they are aware of which parts are considered different from western ways.

My friends and family don't have a clue nor do they give a hoot about those differences, so I'm told about it all.

I had one client family paying average THB 30,000 per month for my tutoring their three kids, but their mother made me come to the condo she'd bought next to the school specifically for that purpose rather than at my home, and I had to promise not to tell any of the other kids or parents at the school, because if her husband's mia luang found out that her children were getting extra tutoring it would mean big trouble for the husband.

After being diligent about helping her keep her deep dark secret for six months, I ended up getting four other mia-noi children as students with similar arrangements.

Another family I know isn't so wealthy, each of the wives had their own little shophouse business sponsored by the husband, and the two older ones ended up pooling their capital and going into partnership with each other.

I could go on, but you get the idea. I honestly think I am part of the real Thailand, while you've being kept in some sort of farang-sanitized version of it.

I bet you have some Thai friends that claim to not believe in ghosts and magic and lucky numbers etc?

They're lying to you.

Edited March 18, 2014 by wym

[FiftyTwo]

On the contrary.

I've lived here for fifteen years, and go for weeks at a time never speaking any English except to my children and students.

There are of course many different subcultures in Thailand, perhaps the circles we mix in are very different.

More likely your more westernized Thai acquaintances aren't completely honest about their culture and personal lives, since they are aware of which parts are considered different from western ways.

My friends and family don't have a clue nor do they give a hoot about those differences, so I'm told about it all.

I had one client family paying average THB 30,000 per month for my tutoring their three kids, but their mother made me come to the condo she'd bought next to the school specifically for that purpose rather than at my home, and I had to promise not to tell any of the other kids or parents at the school, because if her husband's mia luang found out that her children were getting extra tutoring it would mean big trouble for the husband.

After being diligent about helping her keep her deep dark secret for six months, I ended up getting four other mia-noi children as students with similar arrangements.

Another family I know isn't so wealthy, each of the wives had their own little shophouse business sponsored by the husband, and the two older ones ended up pooling their capital and going into partnership with each other.

I could go on, but you get the idea. I honestly think I am part of the real Thailand, while you've being kept in some sort of farang-sanitized version of it.

I bet you have some Thai friends that claim to not believe in ghosts and magic and lucky numbers etc?

They're lying to you.

I have to agree, many foreigners thinking they are told the truth, but haven't a clue.

One thing in common, they all seem to have, usually they don't speak a word of Thai.

[wym]

Not to mention ego-stroking of being a "noble farang" as opposed to "those despicable Thai men" when they give the full-drama sob story to their white knight in shining armour.

[YeahSiam]

imagine this...

before you are married, you are overweight & ur girl is not...

but in the years, you went to gym, you now weigh less than your wife, actually , she became a fat bastard

she still have sexdrive and ... who wants to f a big pig ?

i feel like less, specially she has a nasty personality

one of those that has everything in her name and reminds you of it ... (gladly i did not have to pay for car , house, whatever)

but we have 2 kids ...

the option of hookers or a gik for some personal pleasure seems more and more attractive with the passing days

Married in haste; repent at leisure

I haven't met a Thai woman who wasn't boring in bed.I f you want quality sex go back to farang land

You are probably just getting back what you put in. Maybe you just don't turn them on

[Maggusoil]

Only you can decide this. Really at the end of the day, the attraction you have to this lady sounds like its worth being with her from your point of view.. .and problems worth solving.

I could not possibly overlay this with my own experiences. My partner of 7 years is much much much younger and will do anything I say. It seems from the generosity of her heart. I have always satisfied women first. However many partnerships can exist where sex is not the criteria of everything. If she is willing to satisfy you, I would let her. Even if you get it somewhere else if you have to.

As a therapist, I would find it a challenge to say the least and you never know, it could be karmic, it could be physical or even a childhood experience she has hidden in her psyche.

Gently is as gently does. If you are serious in your caring and must have your needs met, then talk to her about it.

Life is not necessarily a problem. It can be an adventure.

Try de-sexualising the erotic and or spiritual and or sensual experience. That is, start with getting in touch with her sensually, instead of sexually.

[FiftyTwo]

imagine this...

before you are married, you are overweight & ur girl is not...

but in the years, you went to gym, you now weigh less than your wife, actually , she became a fat bastard

she still have sexdrive and ... who wants to f a big pig ?

i feel like less, specially she has a nasty personality

one of those that has everything in her name and reminds you of it ... (gladly i did not have to pay for car , house, whatever)

but we have 2 kids ...

the option of hookers or a gik for some personal pleasure seems more and more attractive with the passing days

My wife is young and attractive.

I usually cheat on her with the older, fatter hookers.

Not interested in satisfying anyone else, unless they want to pay me for a change.

Edited March 18, 2014 by FiftyTwo

[wym]

My wife is young and attractive.

I usually cheat on her with the older, fatter hookers.

Now as you probably know I'm ALL for a bit of kink, but that's just twisted!

[likatysplit]

then live alone and have many. The bed is the most important. As I told one lady, I can cook, sew and have raised 4 kids without a wife or a mother around. i can chuck wow as good or better then you. I cannot give myself a BJ or Boomsing.

So you not want or like sex then bye bye. You and I both would be miserable if we were together. I pay all your cost and you do nothing. I can hire a house keeper a lot cheaper. Sorry if it offends any of you but you ask I have said. But after 3 wives (that were what you are talking about) no way in hell.

[wym]

Only you can decide this. Really at the end of the day, the attraction you have to this lady sounds like its worth being with her from your point of view.. .and problems worth solving.

I could not possibly overlay this with my own experiences. My partner of 7 years is much much much younger and will do anything I say. It seems from the generosity of her heart. I have always satisfied women first. However many partnerships can exist where sex is not the criteria of everything. If she is willing to satisfy you, I would let her. Even if you get it somewhere else if you have to.

As a therapist, I would find it a challenge to say the least and you never know, it could be karmic, it could be physical or even a childhood experience she has hidden in her psyche.

Gently is as gently does. If you are serious in your caring and must have your needs met, then talk to her about it.

Life is not necessarily a problem. It can be an adventure.

Try de-sexualising the erotic and or spiritual and or sensual experience. That is, start with getting in touch with her sensually, instead of sexually.

My kind of therapist - where do you practice?

And do you really believe in karma?

[wym]

I can hire a house keeper a lot cheaper.

Then IMO you're paying too much.

Especially if you need a decent English speaker, market rates for a good housekeeper are much higher than what a farang should be giving his SO.

But I realize many feel otherwise, kind of funny people will get so indignant and claim on the one hand "you should give her MUCH MORE", while others get even more indignant and say "you shouldn't give her a SINGLE baht!".

Not anyone's business of course. . .

[smotherb]

This is why you should try the goods as soon as possible, who wants to have bird that's a crap ride?

They say one should never squeeze the goods until you have paid.

I quite disagree with whomever "They" are. Would you make any major purchase without trying it out? Even property and buildings, I want to check inside and out and preferably be there at all hours--don't you drive a car, try on a pair of shoes, put on a suit, etc., ad infinitim.

Now, if sex is the only thing she can do, she does not qualify either. Whatever is important for you, should be part of any lasting relationship--if it's not a part, it's not going to last.

[thailiketoo]

This is why you should try the goods as soon as possible, who wants to have bird that's a crap ride?

They say one should never squeeze the goods until you have paid.

I quite disagree with whomever "They" are. Would you make any major purchase without trying it out? Even property and buildings, I want to check inside and out and preferably be there at all hours--don't you drive a car, try on a pair of shoes, put on a suit, etc., ad infinitim.

Now, if sex is the only thing she can do, she does not qualify either. Whatever is important for you, should be part of any lasting relationship--if it's not a part, it's not going to last.

How do you try out a bullet?

[Maggusoil]

Only you can decide this. Really at the end of the day, the attraction you have to this lady sounds like its worth being with her from your point of view.. .and problems worth solving.

I could not possibly overlay this with my own experiences. My partner of 7 years is much much much younger and will do anything I say. It seems from the generosity of her heart. I have always satisfied women first. However many partnerships can exist where sex is not the criteria of everything. If she is willing to satisfy you, I would let her. Even if you get it somewhere else if you have to.

As a therapist, I would find it a challenge to say the least and you never know, it could be karmic, it could be physical or even a childhood experience she has hidden in her psyche.

Gently is as gently does. If you are serious in your caring and must have your needs met, then talk to her about it.

Life is not necessarily a problem. It can be an adventure.

Try de-sexualising the erotic and or spiritual and or sensual experience. That is, start with getting in touch with her sensually, instead of sexually.

My kind of therapist - where do you practice?

And do you really believe in karma?

Karma is not a belief. More of an observation.

I have also witnessed unconscious or sub-conscious karmic debts or links sometimes needing to be recognised before they are dissolved, at least on command.

I gave up professional full time therapeutics years ago, so I practice, wherever I am.

Where, as the lovely Lord Buddha would say, there is no beginning and no ending, only the journey.

My tendency to road rage, and other indulgences has my attention at present. . .

[Nautilus05]

Not in the slightest at all. If I ever think with my dick instead of my head again, please shoot me.

[Maggusoil]

My wife is young and attractive.

I usually cheat on her with the older, fatter hookers.

Now as you probably know I'm ALL for a bit of kink, but that's just twisted!

It takes all types.. . what a wonderful world of variety. . ditto that

[surfinglife]

Is this a trick question?

[Incobart]

This topic reveals a lot ...

I never understood peoples behavior about sex or thinking about it .. hoped to find the answer here, I somehow got bounced between shocking answers and truthful ones ..

first of all I was thinking that people choose to live together, marry, because they like each other in many ways, have same interests, feeling good to be with each other, missing each other if not there, doing sharing things together... Also like how the other looks like and turn these feelings into touching holding kissing and sex.

Wondering why some people put the sex part in there relation so important, I now get shocked to hear how many people talk about there "love" ones like the only reason why they have a wife is to have something to give a good f*** , no matter the thing can speak, clean, read a book, have a story to tell... The perfect partner is a rabbit with some extra points if she can cook and clean., if not, trow her in the street .

Some people talk about sex like it is the most wonderful thing in the world, it must be that there are different levels of experience about sex, (just like some people like football very much or drinking wine, and others less or don't) but for me sex is like watching a movie. sometimes can enjoy a lot, sometimes good, sometimes boring .. but finally we get bored after a while to watch the same movie again and again and again, sometimes we like to see another movie ...

For me I can not understand how people still can enjoy sex twice a week with the same partner for 30 years .. and talking about still having QUALITY sex, and MIND BLOWING sex every time a BIG O, but I must be one of the lower levels .. and before these mind blowers start pointing me as a sad guy .. its clear in many other replies that I am not an exception.

So to answer the initial question, there is no 1 rule, people have different level in enjoying sex. If your relationship is based on true love for the partner, then you accept that, same as you have to accept that your partner not like something else, or can not do something because of sickness. If your relationship is based on buying a f***machine and maid doll, then you kick her out , and buy another one.

If your love is true, but the sexual appetite quit different, it would not be a threat to the relationship, if a partner goes watch a movie with someone else in occasion, same like you let your wife go shopping with someone else, because you don't like it. (and yes some thai woman think this way too)

Making a big drama of that, or forbid it (and still do it behind the back) is more a threat to the relationship. than accept each others needs.. Your love one is not your possession, but your goal to make him/her happy.

Edited March 18, 2014 by Incobart

[sdanielmcev]

Nope.

Actually, it purely depends whether the OP has an interest in an exciting sex life. If he has no interest would they not be a perfect match?

I assumed he had an interest since he started the thread.

[smileydude]

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One's definition of quality sex probably differs. To me its important that I'm able to give my partner the big "O" and if I give her several even better but this depends on the chemistry we have between each other more then either ones prowess. It doesn't have to be porn star gymnastic stuff but more importantly being able to please each other. I would feel very bummed out if she had to fake it but I bet a lot of women do because their partners are not paying enough attention to what she likes rather focusing on himself.

A lot of men have lost their libido's or have erectile dysfunction (ED's) because they've lost or never found that chemistry with their GF/wife.

Whats the big O ??

Orgasm

[MRGTINGTONG]

If this is how you leave them when you're finished, then by god it must of been good foe both of you, 555

[MILT]

I have had the pleasure of reading all the replies on this fun topic so far and found myself quite amuzed to the male being experts on females and what is good for them bla bla bla. There are far more greater aspects to a female that truely dim what their sex story is about. Women can be very powerful and I find that because of the social trends loose their true power in the quest for being sexy and all that. Sex is great human experience

no doubt! But a female as a person has far greater attributes to offer. When we can get past our own selfs of identifying women as some sort of object for us there is a discovery of real dept and bueaty which has very little to do with being sexual.

[Banzai99]

I have not read any of the replies, or in fact the original post.

But, I will take a guess, it's aimed at slagging off Thai women, and making old Farang men look good ?

You should be ashamed of yourself, and ThaiVisa should really take stock of the posts here, don't worry about the hits, morally, you suck.

If I denegrated western women in the same way Thai women are put through the wringer day after day on ThaiVisa, I would be banned, yet, it seems it's OK on ThaiVisa, as long as it's Thai that gets the slagging off.

If I was the Information Minister, you'd all be arrested and put on the next plane out of here.

This website makes Thailand and Thai people seem terrible.

Edited March 18, 2014 by Banzai99

[Tmymaimee]

I was sort of hoping for a quality relationship without having to go elsewhere for sex. Yes, I thought about if some earlier issues caused her lack of desire but she couldn't think of anything at all. She said that she has never had a sexual thought or even dreamed or fantasized about sex at any time in her life. She says she has sex to make her partner happy but if she could choose, she would never want to have sex as she is simply uninterested in it.

You think you meet the perfect Thai girl who is beautiful, hardworking and a great sense of humour and then you are faced with this. A complete dead fish in bed, zero initiation, no sounds and no movement. Honestly, a 500 baht special is more satisfying than her yet you look at someone so beautiful and can't help hoping that there is a switch to make her normal.

I'm not looking for a pornstar but just a normal sex drive and some passion would be nice. I'm not saying its related to her culture but she just happens to be Thai so I posted it here. It probably happens to some men and women of all cultures for whatever reason.

[Tmymaimee]

I have not read any of the replies, or in fact the original post.

But, I will take a guess, it's aimed at slagging off Thai women, and making old Farang men look good ?

You should be ashamed of yourself, and ThaiVisa should really take stock of the posts here, don't worry about the hits, morally, you suck.

If I degenerated western women in the same way Thai women are put through the wringer day after day on ThaiVisa, I would be banned, yet, it seems it's OK on ThaiVisa, as long as it's Thai that gets the slagging off.

If I was the Information Minister, you'd all be arrested and put on the next plane out of here.

Now we all understand when someone chooses divorce; imagine waking up to this type of person every morning? Good morning dear…..alai waa!!!