How important is quality sex to you when choosing a partner?

[Banzai99]

I have not read any of the replies, or in fact the original post.

But, I will take a guess, it's aimed at slagging off Thai women, and making old Farang men look good ?

You should be ashamed of yourself, and ThaiVisa should really take stock of the posts here, don't worry about the hits, morally, you suck.

If I degenerated western women in the same way Thai women are put through the wringer day after day on ThaiVisa, I would be banned, yet, it seems it's OK on ThaiVisa, as long as it's Thai that gets the slagging off.

If I was the Information Minister, you'd all be arrested and put on the next plane out of here.

Now we all understand when someone chooses divorce; imagine waking up to this type of person every morning? Good morning dear…..alai waa!!!

I'm in Thailand, where are you ?

[SavageNZ]

Sex or Passion in bed has a direct correlation to the wellness of a relationship. It is important to have passion in any relationship. If you need to have a perfect clean , run house. It's easier to hire a maid.

[Skint]

Forget all the love and passion, cause here it comes doggy fashion!

[Robininbkk]

Is it still Thailand related? If yes, then the quality of sex must be part of the whole package, for me.

[boisian]

Only you can decide this. Really at the end of the day, the attraction you have to this lady sounds like its worth being with her from your point of view.. .and problems worth solving.

I could not possibly overlay this with my own experiences. My partner of 7 years is much much much younger and will do anything I say. It seems from the generosity of her heart. I have always satisfied women first. However many partnerships can exist where sex is not the criteria of everything. If she is willing to satisfy you, I would let her. Even if you get it somewhere else if you have to.

As a therapist, I would find it a challenge to say the least and you never know, it could be karmic, it could be physical or even a childhood experience she has hidden in her psyche.

Gently is as gently does. If you are serious in your caring and must have your needs met, then talk to her about it.

Life is not necessarily a problem. It can be an adventure.

Try de-sexualising the erotic and or spiritual and or sensual experience. That is, start with getting in touch with her sensually, instead of sexually.

I was going to say she needs the right drugs to really get her kundalini going......

but having read Maggu's post I need to agree, foster the intimacy slowly, introduce her to an addiction to the day to day physical, stolen glances, caresses, personal interactions driven by immutable attraction.

In my younger days a relationship with a GF as yet unable to achieve orgasm lasted a bit over a year before i was so deflated I gave up. She did tell me that I had taught her sex could be fun tho......

choose your battles wisely

[godden]

Always great sex with a new lady, but as they say, for the first 6 months you could eat it after that you wish you had.

[FiftyTwo]

Marriage is like life, .........

Mostly shit, with a few good moments thrown in.

[Incobart]

I was sort of hoping for a quality relationship without having to go elsewhere for sex. Yes, I thought about if some earlier issues caused her lack of desire but she couldn't think of anything at all. She said that she has never had a sexual thought or even dreamed or fantasized about sex at any time in her life. She says she has sex to make her partner happy but if she could choose, she would never want to have sex as she is simply uninterested in it.

You think you meet the perfect Thai girl who is beautiful, hardworking and a great sense of humour and then you are faced with this. A complete dead fish in bed, zero initiation, no sounds and no movement. Honestly, a 500 baht special is more satisfying than her yet you look at someone so beautiful and can't help hoping that there is a switch to make her normal.

I'm not looking for a pornstar but just a normal sex drive and some passion would be nice. I'm not saying its related to her culture but she just happens to be Thai so I posted it here. It probably happens to some men and women of all cultures for whatever reason.

hey man, nobody is perfect

[Showbags]

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One's definition of quality sex probably differs. To me its important that I'm able to give my partner the big "O" and if I give her several even better but this depends on the chemistry we have between each other more then either ones prowess. It doesn't have to be porn star gymnastic stuff but more importantly being able to please each other. I would feel very bummed out if she had to fake it but I bet a lot of women do because their partners are not paying enough attention to what she likes rather focusing on himself.
A lot of men have lost their libido's or have erectile dysfunction (ED's) because they've lost or never found that chemistry with their GF/wife.

Whats the big O ??

Orgasm

Thanks...thought it was Oranges.

Think I remember a girl having one of them once.

[Krataiboy]

Some of you guys must have really sore knuckles.

[kovaltech]

Quality sex comes with passion...

No passion, no go relation.

Sometimes its a lower level, ok, but if never passionated sex then no thanks...

I know that it exists :-P so i do everything to get it...

But ... No passion ... No relation...

be aware of passion killers in your relation and be happy...

[alanrchase]

If all you want is "great sex" I would assume trolling the bars may provide. Not interested in love?

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[alanrchase]

Ohh, you so big, I love you long time!

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[shadmo63]

havent you ever heard of teaching them, if they dont know or have never been shown what do you expect. It is pretty easy to do, if you show her how to enjoy it herself and not just jump on and do the busines and jump off leaving her high and dry she will pick it up. Some women just lie there and this totally kills any passion(probably men that do the equivelent), if they get to enjoy it they will adjust they way they react, just try taking your time, talk to her about it and show here exactly how good it can be. When I was young it was just a matter of getting my rocks off but as you grow older and marry you learn that feelings play a big part and start to make sure your partner gets just as much enjoyment as you, maybe with a lot of happy endings she will really take to it.

This is my whole point….yes, I could teach her but if the sexual desire for any partner is completely absent on her part, what can teaching accomplish? I only ask this because I genuinely care about her and I need a partner who doesn't make me stray to the bar.

That's a big problem I have in Thailand. I don't put the effort into a relationship that I would back home because I know if she's not willing to put out, I can just buy great sex for 1000 baht.

In this case, she's beautiful and intelligent but she even admits she has a problem with no sex drive and always had the same problem in past relationships.

I don't know if I take time, can she change or is this something set from birth and no amount of time will fix the lack of desire. She said all the time she's alone, not once has she even contemplated touching herself which sort of tells me she just doesn't have the required libido for holding off the bar girls in a long term relationship.

Yes she is hard wired that way and will never change. There is absolutely nothing you can do about it. Maybe in the western world you could try some intensive sex therapy but I doubt you would find it in Thailand (or the mindset to do it). As some one else suggested it would be a deal breaker for me, as I am guessing you know it is for you. It is just too important a part of a relationship.

[shadmo63]

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One's definition of quality sex probably differs. To me its important that I'm able to give my partner the big "O" and if I give her several even better but this depends on the chemistry we have between each other more then either ones prowess. It doesn't have to be porn star gymnastic stuff but more importantly being able to please each other. I would feel very bummed out if she had to fake it but I bet a lot of women do because their partners are not paying enough attention to what she likes rather focusing on himself.

A lot of men have lost their libido's or have erectile dysfunction (ED's) because they've lost or never found that chemistry with their GF/wife.

Whats the big O ??

Orgasm

Thanks...thought it was Oranges.

Think I remember a girl having one of them once.

Roy Orbison????

[thailiketoo]

Ohh, you so big, I love you long time!

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I love you long time is from a movie. Women in Thailand don't say that.

I don't know what this poor woman was smoking as I don't recollect meeting a Vietnam lady that talked like that. Ya ba started a long time after the Vietnam war as I remember it.

Edited March 19, 2014 by thailiketoo

[alanrchase]

Roy had some nice songs. Some better than sex.

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[alanrchase]

Thailiketoo get out a bit more. I agree it is a stereotype but I have heard it.

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[thailiketoo]

Thailiketoo get out a bit more. I agree it is a stereotype but I have heard it.

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The only place I have ever heard it was from a dancer in Florida who was mocking Asian women. I think she saw the movie too. But I must admit Thai or Vietnamese women don't speak English to me.

Edited March 19, 2014 by thailiketoo

[alanrchase]

Thailiketoo. What was the movie?

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[Somsrisonphimai]

What all the fuss is about? Thai women are sexy, exotic, and sensual, they are good in bed and good in the kitchen. Maybe they are not that into you that is why they lack a desire for you. However, sometimes holding hand, a walk on the beach and cuddle up on the couch are better than sex.

Edited March 19, 2014 by Somsrisonphimai

[thailiketoo]

Thailiketoo. What was the movie?

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Full Metal Jacket I linked it above.

[Somsrisonphimai]

"In this case, she's beautiful and intelligent but she even admits she has a problem with no sex drive and always had the same problem in past relationships" .

I think what you said here encapsulates the situation. She is beautiful and intelligent has no sex drive and admits this is a problem and has been in past relationships. I don't really see what more you need to know to make your decision as you are going to certainly have the same problem

Personally I'd take it on as a challenge, at least for a while.

Few women are actually "frigid", those with this problem usually have some sort of psychological block, or just haven't met a guy whose bits fit theirs the right way AND willing to put the time and energy into finding her hot buttons. Some just need the exact right fit both physically and emotionally/psychologically, get into the right frame of mind then WHAMMO once you get them off they're very grateful, worth every bit of effort you put into it.

Plus there isn't anything quite so gratifying as making another human being very very happy, even if it's just for a short time.

....and any moment now the OP for that Avatar Name Photo topic will appear to add her thoughts. I am just surprised JT hasn't chimed in yet.

What are you talking?

[alanrchase]

Thailiketoo. Good movie in its day, thanks.

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[HerIndoors]

Interesting question and scenario.... my ex wife was a great house keeper and mother to our children ..... BUT.... in the sack she was a cold fish..couldn't stand sex and you felt like you were masturbating with someone else's body. So the epic journey starts to find that elusive combination. I realised I loved my Thai partner when, one day I was telling a friend how much I admired and RESPECTED her... and....we just happen to have to most wonderful connected sex ever. So, to answer your question... sex is the glue that holds relationships together BUT, there must be other things happening too.

Just my 2 cents worth.

[FiftyTwo]

Ohh, you so big, I love you long time!

I love you long time is from a movie. Women in Thailand don't say that.

I don't know what this poor woman was smoking as I don't recollect meeting a Vietnam lady that talked like that. Ya ba started a long time after the Vietnam war as I remember it.

That movie, FMJ, was made entirely on a set at Canary Wharf, London, Most of the actors were from London, so I'm thinking the lady was talking with a London accent.

Edited March 19, 2014 by FiftyTwo

[thailiketoo]

Ohh, you so big, I love you long time!

I love you long time is from a movie. Women in Thailand don't say that.

I don't know what this poor woman was smoking as I don't recollect meeting a Vietnam lady that talked like that. Ya ba started a long time after the Vietnam war as I remember it.

That movie, FMJ, was made entirely on a set at Canary Wharf, London, Most of the actors were from London, so I'm thinking the lady was talking with a London accent.

Papillon Soo Soo

[Water Buffalo]

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Ideally, we all want that partner who is mind-blowing in bed and can take care of all other duties wonderfully. You could try to look for it and be lucky enough to find it.

It is all about perspective too. Sex with the same person over and over again tends to become dull no matter how good they are. And then you just look for the something different to create a new feeling for yourself.

Let's look at the two extremes. Great at all the wife and mother stuff, but poor in bed vs. Great in bed (which inevitably gets dull) and useless at everything else.

I would choose type 1 if i had to. Type 2 would ultimately be more irritating.

Somewhere in between is ideal, unless you are luckiest guy on earth (who never gets bored of the same woman, no matter how good) and you happen to find a woman who excels in both areas.

Anyway, i fear there is no real answer anyway since we were never meant to be monogamous. All evidence points toward us being non-monogamous creatures, like most animals in existence, especially mammals. And the males are almost always the most promiscuous sex, which is how mother nature wanted us to be (to fertilize more females and create more life). Unfortunately, this doesn't fit into our current society and we are seen as perverts.

In my opinion there really is not way out except just try to be satisfied with what you got. Otherwise you gotta cheat on your family with whores, which just sounds awful. I mean, sex with whores is bad even when single. I really don't believe any guy who says he enjoys sex with a rent-doll. It ruins the essence of sex.

If comparing like you do: good vs bad. Then you shold compare good/bad in bed vs something else that is important. Not vs everything else......

So you mean i should compare good sex with good cooking, for example.? Well, i would probably choose the sex. But if everything else is bad, then the sex wouldn't make up for it. In my opinion, you have to look at the whole package.

[FiftyTwo]

So you mean i should compare good sex with good cooking, for example.? Well, i would probably choose the sex. But if everything else is bad, then the sex wouldn't make up for it. In my opinion, you have to look at the whole package.

You clearly haven't tried my cooking yet!

Edited March 19, 2014 by FiftyTwo

[delh]

For a man to live a happy life, he needs a woman who is a whore in the bedroom, who is the best a mother can be for his children, a fabulous talented chef in the kitchen,and a witty raconteur for his entertainment.

However it is vitally important that these four women never meet each other

Edited March 19, 2014 by delh