Shocking use of violence and force on my Norwegian son and Thai students at Thai primary school

[ThaiTbone]

If a child needs to be smacked to get her bad behaviour corrected, then

she must be smacked.

But for this to work (i.e., to guide her towards a morally acceptable pattern

of behaviour), it must be done in a completely controlled fashion & under

a carefully thought-out set of rules.

For starters, physical punishment is a last resort, to be used only after

other methods have failed.

Second, the child must be in full knowledge of what the consequences

will be (i.e., physical punishment) should her misdeed be repeated. And

she must herself agree to such a deal.

The guardian/educator will administer said punishment just as agreed, for

he is no liar ... & among other things, hopefully, she'll be able to pick up

honesty from him & trust in him as well.

The punishment can only target non vital areas of the body such as thighs,

calves or buttocks, never ever chest, tummy, abdomen, neck or face. Under

no circumstances can a fist be used; only an open palm or a stick are

acceptable.

The child, having been warned at least twice in the past, must be reminded

of the agreement previously made, must be brought to clearly understand

her wrong-doing & accept the consequences.

Then, the punishment is to be applied nonchalantly, with no drama at all;

whatever needs to be said is said in a calm, low voice. No black looks, no

sarcasm, no reproaches, no angry overtones. But it must hurt if you are

to eradicate the unwanted behaviour, or else the child will merely laugh at

you.

Once the punishment has been meted out, not a speck of resentment

will be allowed in the heart of the parent/teacher. On the contrary, he will

remain lovingly close to the child, watching over her, and will see to it that

she understands that she is loved, that a behavioural improvement is for

her own good, that one hopes never to have to resort to such punishment

ever again, & that one is hurt just as much as the child is by such methods.

Jeeeeez... who are you? Or should I ask what kind of sect or cult are you a member of?

Who and where did come up with this guideline if choose to hit kids? Is it academically proven through science or is it the crazy pastor of a sect preaching?

[Sewell]

A number of people have recommended showing the school that you know the law. Does anyone have an up to date written copy of the law that prohibits teachers from hitting children in both Thai and English?

[Traveler19491]

You have indicated that your son comes to stay with you in Norway, and that he is part Norwegian by birth. I am not at all familiar with Norwegian law, but I would assume that having a Norwegian father would make him a Norwegian citizen. If so, the solution seems quite clear to me. You take him to Norway with you, and he never sees Thailand again, until he has finished his schooling. Several downsides to this solution. One, he would not see his mother, or his mother's family for several years. However, you have also indicated that his mother has no problem with his being abused, and apparently she has no problem abusing him herself. In my opinion, this immediately disqualifies her as a fit mother. I agree with previous posters that, due to the nature of Thai culture, it is highly improbable that your objections, either to her or to the school administrators, will do anything to remedy this situation. Two, his mother would, I assume, object strenuously to her not being able to see her son. However, her only recourse, once your son is in Norway, is to appeal to the Norwegian authorities. Should she choose to do that, it would seem fairly easy to demonstrate to the Norwegian courts the conditions your son has been forced to endure, and I would believe that, being as enlightened as the Scandinavian countries are, they would be very hesitant to send your son back into the hands of his tormentors. Three, your son may eventually miss his mother and wish to see her. If that happens, you pay for her flight to Norway, and her expenses while there (certainly no more expensive than you visiting Thailand), and she can visit with him, supervised, for as long as she wishes. So, pack your son up, catch the next flight to Norway, and give him the loving, calm, rational environment that he so deserves.

His mother will not try to have him stay with her. She knows its impossible as I dont give my consent to a visa for my son to live with her where she now lives. She lives outside of Thailand and is married to a new man. My son is both Thai and Norwegian citizen but only holds a Norwegian passport and always will. I refused to let him have a Thai passport last year and it proved to be smart. Its impossible for her to travel with him to countries outside of EU. Its more of a private matter but it was actually his mother who brought him back to Norway and actally by a surprise. I had informed her that I was going to pick him up in April and bring him home with me after our holiday.

Also I have a statment from the Norwegian government (BUFETAT) that he lives with me as she didnt show up here during our divorce. In a divorce here if only one parent show up at this meeting they automatically reward that parent to live with the kid. So what goes for Norway and it is impossible to remove him from me here.

In 2012 I paid a trip for her to come here on holiday. I moved out and they had a good 2 weeks alone just mother and son. He loved that and she was kind to him like before. It was only this time in her village with her family around and drinking some every day that she was more violent than before to him he has told me.

About holidaying in Thailand and its no problem. I am there 4 times a year now and we went there before and he stayed with his mother for a couple of weeks.

Me and son loves Thailand by our hearts and will never stop to go there. Thailand at the moment feels more home and our future is there. When work and other practical things in life will let us do and we will live there. We just want to see the beating of students to end in Thailand. if I can participate with our story on the way for this to happen and I`ve done mine. One story more is one story more on the weight. One day I belive the beating will stop..

Thank you, ThaiTbone, for that additional information. I'm happy, for both you and your son, that it seems that you have found a situation that, at least for the present time, is working for you. When the time comes that you do return to Thailand, I agree with previous posters that he would probably be best off in an international school, one with much higher standards than the local Thai schools. Good luck!

[KonaRain]

Grest stuff above..(threatening hospital stays will get You in a Thai jail..no phone calls im told..

Alohz

Sent from my GT-P3113 using Thaivisa Connect Thailand mobile app

[thaibeachlovers]

Sounds like the school I went to, where seniors bullying junior students was not only allowed, but the system. Also teachers beat pupils if they got the answer wrong.

Yet some still think it was a great school.

[thaibeachlovers]

If a child needs to be smacked to get her bad behaviour corrected, then

she must be smacked.

But for this to work (i.e., to guide her towards a morally acceptable pattern

of behaviour), it must be done in a completely controlled fashion & under

a carefully thought-out set of rules.

For starters, physical punishment is a last resort, to be used only after

other methods have failed.

Second, the child must be in full knowledge of what the consequences

will be (i.e., physical punishment) should her misdeed be repeated. And

she must herself agree to such a deal.

The guardian/educator will administer said punishment just as agreed, for

he is no liar ... & among other things, hopefully, she'll be able to pick up

honesty from him & trust in him as well.

The punishment can only target non vital areas of the body such as thighs,

calves or buttocks, never ever chest, tummy, abdomen, neck or face. Under

no circumstances can a fist be used; only an open palm or a stick are

acceptable.

The child, having been warned at least twice in the past, must be reminded

of the agreement previously made, must be brought to clearly understand

her wrong-doing & accept the consequences.

Then, the punishment is to be applied nonchalantly, with no drama at all;

whatever needs to be said is said in a calm, low voice. No black looks, no

sarcasm, no reproaches, no angry overtones. But it must hurt if you are

to eradicate the unwanted behaviour, or else the child will merely laugh at

you.

Once the punishment has been meted out, not a speck of resentment

will be allowed in the heart of the parent/teacher. On the contrary, he will

remain lovingly close to the child, watching over her, and will see to it that

she understands that she is loved, that a behavioural improvement is for

her own good, that one hopes never to have to resort to such punishment

ever again, & that one is hurt just as much as the child is by such methods.

Jeeeeez... who are you? Or should I ask what kind of sect or cult are you a member of?

Who and where did come up with this guideline if choose to hit kids? Is it academically proven through science or is it the crazy pastor of a sect preaching?

And you have a better system? Many children these days have no respect and are little monsters.

[harryfrompattaya]

If that was my child, then i'm afraid that the teacher in question would now be getting fed on drip, in hospital !

If you are ready I am to goo to the school to take the teacher. I bet the teacher will cry like a big baby

[djayz]

So, what's wrong with a bit of punishment? We've all gone through it and it has made (the most of) us into upright, honest and good citizens. I'd congratulate any teacher in Thailand (on any other country for that matter) for teaching my kids a bit of discipline.

Why have we gone soft in the West?!

What a dreadful post, you think it is OK to beat children with sticks. That is what you are implying.I am not against punishment, but violence?? I sure pity your children.

Where did you see me write that is is okay to use violence? Please read again, this time a little slower so your brain can process the words...

Punishment is not the same as violence.

[billd766]

If a child needs to be smacked to get her bad behaviour corrected, then

she must be smacked.

But for this to work (i.e., to guide her towards a morally acceptable pattern

of behaviour), it must be done in a completely controlled fashion & under

a carefully thought-out set of rules.

For starters, physical punishment is a last resort, to be used only after

other methods have failed.

Second, the child must be in full knowledge of what the consequences

will be (i.e., physical punishment) should her misdeed be repeated. And

she must herself agree to such a deal.

The guardian/educator will administer said punishment just as agreed, for

he is no liar ... & among other things, hopefully, she'll be able to pick up

honesty from him & trust in him as well.

The punishment can only target non vital areas of the body such as thighs,

calves or buttocks, never ever chest, tummy, abdomen, neck or face. Under

no circumstances can a fist be used; only an open palm or a stick are

acceptable.

The child, having been warned at least twice in the past, must be reminded

of the agreement previously made, must be brought to clearly understand

her wrong-doing & accept the consequences.

Then, the punishment is to be applied nonchalantly, with no drama at all;

whatever needs to be said is said in a calm, low voice. No black looks, no

sarcasm, no reproaches, no angry overtones. But it must hurt if you are

to eradicate the unwanted behaviour, or else the child will merely laugh at

you.

Once the punishment has been meted out, not a speck of resentment

will be allowed in the heart of the parent/teacher. On the contrary, he will

remain lovingly close to the child, watching over her, and will see to it that

she understands that she is loved, that a behavioural improvement is for

her own good, that one hopes never to have to resort to such punishment

ever again, & that one is hurt just as much as the child is by such methods.

Jeeeeez... who are you? Or should I ask what kind of sect or cult are you a member of?

Who and where did come up with this guideline if choose to hit kids? Is it academically proven through science or is it the crazy pastor of a sect preaching?

And you have a better system? Many children these days have no respect and are little monsters.

A lot depends on how the child is brought up and taught at home.

I smacked my first son in the UK about 3 times in 13 years and he has turned out OK.

My second son here in Thailand will be 10 in August and I have never needed to smack him at all. Just know what he prizes the most and stop him from that for a period of time works for us.

[NoshowJones]

So, what's wrong with a bit of punishment? We've all gone through it and it has made (the most of) us into upright, honest and good citizens. I'd congratulate any teacher in Thailand (on any other country for that matter) for teaching my kids a bit of discipline.

Why have we gone soft in the West?!

What a dreadful post, you think it is OK to beat children with sticks. That is what you are implying.I am not against punishment, but violence?? I sure pity your children.

Where did you see me write that is is okay to use violence? Please read again, this time a little slower so your brain can process the words...

Punishment is not the same as violence.

No you did not mentioned violence, but you did imply it, "we have gone soft in the west" how was punishment mainly used for school children in the west? Hitting children with a belt or cane. If any teacher ever used violence on any of my kids, like a previous poster said, they would have been drip fed in hospital, and talking about brains, read some of the previous posts very slowly so your brains can process the words.

[NoshowJones]

If a child needs to be smacked to get her bad behaviour corrected, then

she must be smacked.

But for this to work (i.e., to guide her towards a morally acceptable pattern

of behaviour), it must be done in a completely controlled fashion & under

a carefully thought-out set of rules.

For starters, physical punishment is a last resort, to be used only after

other methods have failed.

Second, the child must be in full knowledge of what the consequences

will be (i.e., physical punishment) should her misdeed be repeated. And

she must herself agree to such a deal.

The guardian/educator will administer said punishment just as agreed, for

he is no liar ... & among other things, hopefully, she'll be able to pick up

honesty from him & trust in him as well.

The punishment can only target non vital areas of the body such as thighs,

calves or buttocks, never ever chest, tummy, abdomen, neck or face. Under

no circumstances can a fist be used; only an open palm or a stick are

acceptable.

The child, having been warned at least twice in the past, must be reminded

of the agreement previously made, must be brought to clearly understand

her wrong-doing & accept the consequences.

Then, the punishment is to be applied nonchalantly, with no drama at all;

whatever needs to be said is said in a calm, low voice. No black looks, no

sarcasm, no reproaches, no angry overtones. But it must hurt if you are

to eradicate the unwanted behaviour, or else the child will merely laugh at

you.

Once the punishment has been meted out, not a speck of resentment

will be allowed in the heart of the parent/teacher. On the contrary, he will

remain lovingly close to the child, watching over her, and will see to it that

she understands that she is loved, that a behavioural improvement is for

her own good, that one hopes never to have to resort to such punishment

ever again, & that one is hurt just as much as the child is by such methods.

You are saying it is acceptable to hit your children with a stick? you are a very cruel person, and without doubt are not fit to be a parent. Shame on you.

[sirchai]

So, what's wrong with a bit of punishment? We've all gone through it and it has made (the most of) us into upright, honest and good citizens. I'd congratulate any teacher in Thailand (on any other country for that matter) for teaching my kids a bit of discipline.

Why have we gone soft in the West?!

crazy dog

Crazy Kwai.

[sirchai]

If a child needs to be smacked to get her bad behaviour corrected, then

she must be smacked.

But for this to work (i.e., to guide her towards a morally acceptable pattern

of behaviour), it must be done in a completely controlled fashion & under

a carefully thought-out set of rules.

For starters, physical punishment is a last resort, to be used only after

other methods have failed.

Second, the child must be in full knowledge of what the consequences

will be (i.e., physical punishment) should her misdeed be repeated. And

she must herself agree to such a deal.

The guardian/educator will administer said punishment just as agreed, for

he is no liar ... & among other things, hopefully, she'll be able to pick up

honesty from him & trust in him as well.

The punishment can only target non vital areas of the body such as thighs,

calves or buttocks, never ever chest, tummy, abdomen, neck or face. Under

no circumstances can a fist be used; only an open palm or a stick are

acceptable.

The child, having been warned at least twice in the past, must be reminded

of the agreement previously made, must be brought to clearly understand

her wrong-doing & accept the consequences.

Then, the punishment is to be applied nonchalantly, with no drama at all;

whatever needs to be said is said in a calm, low voice. No black looks, no

sarcasm, no reproaches, no angry overtones. But it must hurt if you are

to eradicate the unwanted behaviour, or else the child will merely laugh at

you.

Once the punishment has been meted out, not a speck of resentment

will be allowed in the heart of the parent/teacher. On the contrary, he will

remain lovingly close to the child, watching over her, and will see to it that

she understands that she is loved, that a behavioural improvement is for

her own good, that one hopes never to have to resort to such punishment

ever again, & that one is hurt just as much as the child is by such methods.

You are saying it is acceptable to hit your children with a stick? you are a very cruel person, and without doubt are not fit to be a parent. Shame on you.

My American colleague's student, a little 10 year old girl in grade five was so punished by her Thai teacher that she had to wear a long sleeve shirt the next day.

She rolled the sleeves back next day and produced tears in our eyes. Bruises all over her tiny arm. Now I know why some people become killers.

That Thai teacher is well known for it, many students were taken out of school, just because of her.

Would she do that to my child, I'd do the same to her. But using a much bigger and heavier bamboo stick.

Can't believe that there;re foreigners who seem to like this weird idea.-

Edited April 24, 2014 by sirchai

[NoshowJones]

If a child needs to be smacked to get her bad behaviour corrected, then

she must be smacked.

But for this to work (i.e., to guide her towards a morally acceptable pattern

of behaviour), it must be done in a completely controlled fashion & under

a carefully thought-out set of rules.

For starters, physical punishment is a last resort, to be used only after

other methods have failed.

Second, the child must be in full knowledge of what the consequences

will be (i.e., physical punishment) should her misdeed be repeated. And

she must herself agree to such a deal.

The guardian/educator will administer said punishment just as agreed, for

he is no liar ... & among other things, hopefully, she'll be able to pick up

honesty from him & trust in him as well.

The punishment can only target non vital areas of the body such as thighs,

calves or buttocks, never ever chest, tummy, abdomen, neck or face. Under

no circumstances can a fist be used; only an open palm or a stick are

acceptable.

The child, having been warned at least twice in the past, must be reminded

of the agreement previously made, must be brought to clearly understand

her wrong-doing & accept the consequences.

Then, the punishment is to be applied nonchalantly, with no drama at all;

whatever needs to be said is said in a calm, low voice. No black looks, no

sarcasm, no reproaches, no angry overtones. But it must hurt if you are

to eradicate the unwanted behaviour, or else the child will merely laugh at

you.

Once the punishment has been meted out, not a speck of resentment

will be allowed in the heart of the parent/teacher. On the contrary, he will

remain lovingly close to the child, watching over her, and will see to it that

she understands that she is loved, that a behavioural improvement is for

her own good, that one hopes never to have to resort to such punishment

ever again, & that one is hurt just as much as the child is by such methods.

You are saying it is acceptable to hit your children with a stick? you are a very cruel person, and without doubt are not fit to be a parent. Shame on you.

My American colleague's student, a little 10 year old girl in grade five was so punished by her Thai teacher that she had to wear a long sleeve shirt the next day.

She rolled the sleeves back next day and produced tears in our eyes. Bruises all over her tiny arm. Now I know why some people become killers.

That Thai teacher is well known for it, many students were taken out of school, just because of her.

Would she do that to my child, I'd do the same to her. But using a much bigger and heavier bamboo stick.

Can't believe that there;re foreigners who seem to like this weird idea.-

I was belted at school for things like forgetting my hymn book or gym shoes, although I was no angel at school, I was belted when I did not know what I was being belted for. I even remember in primary school the teacher saying " all those who got it wrong, out on the floor" then belted those who got it wrong.

I am convinced that those experiences are the reason I am the person I am today, in the UK, all it would take was anyone to even threaten me with violence. and I would physically retaliate, it has happened many times. I have never had this problem here in Thailand, because in general, Thai people are a lot more non confrontational than they are in the UK.

[thewug]

My little girls going to start school in two weeks. My biggest fear for her is that a teacher will hit her. Children don't need to see, or feel violence. Violence to children teaches them to be violent. We as loving parents need to stop the chain of violence.

[thewug]

And I will say for who ever harm my daughter, GOD could not help them...

[djayz]

So, what's wrong with a bit of punishment? We've all gone through it and it has made (the most of) us into upright, honest and good citizens. I'd congratulate any teacher in Thailand (on any other country for that matter) for teaching my kids a bit of discipline.

Why have we gone soft in the West?!

What a dreadful post, you think it is OK to beat children with sticks. That is what you are implying.I am not against punishment, but violence?? I sure pity your children.

Where did you see me write that is is okay to use violence? Please read again, this time a little slower so your brain can process the words...

Punishment is not the same as violence.

No you did not mentioned violence, but you did imply it, "we have gone soft in the west" how was punishment mainly used for school children in the west? Hitting children with a belt or cane. If any teacher ever used violence on any of my kids, like a previous poster said, they would have been drip fed in hospital, and talking about brains, read some of the previous posts very slowly so your brains can process the words.

YOU wrote "you think it is OK to beat children with sticks. That is what you are implying". NO, I did NOT think, say, write or imply that is is okay to hit children. But, I'll say it again in the hope that you'll understand it this time: Yes, I agree with punishment for children who misbehave. Punishment does NOT necessarily mean VIOLENCE. Please, please try to understand the last sentence. Punishment, okay. Violence, not okay. Got it? You read very slow, maybe you understand.

Hitting children with belts and canes, as far as I know, went out in the early to mid 1970's in many (all?) western countries. Since then, other forms of punishment have been used (in the school that I attended at least).

Yes, I think that we have gone soft in the west. From what I can tell/have experienced, teachers and in many cases even the parents, aren't even allowed/don't want to "punish" (I did not imply "beat, cane or whip) the children anymore. Many grow up without any feeling for what is right / wrong or acceptable / unacceptable.

I see this as being the other extreme... just my opinion.

Surely there must be a way for parents and teachers to discipline children in a way that isn't violent BUT teaches them a lesson.