Living With The Family--HELP!--Get Me OUT OF HERE!

[1Ping1]

Life is Short......................

This is not a dress Rehearsal....................

I suggest this on a global scale, not just Thailand. Thailand and Thai girls in general get a raw deal in the lets crap on them category. So forget about that, Pick a country, any country, "same same but different". as the Thai's love to say..................

Meaning I plan on living to 104 but I would not put up with this for more than five minutes, maybe the second, not the first time, but the five minute rule would then apply.

I sincerely wish you all the best.............

[mercman24]

Oh you silly boy, fell into the Farang Trap. YOU HAD A HOUSE BUILT FOR HER, she rich lady now, got caught hook line and sinker, goodbye farang it was nice knowing you ha ha !! why the hell do all you guys want to BUY - BUILD them houses, it is beyond me, whats is wrong with renting,?? you can run away quicker. i have just looked at a NEW HOUSE UNFURNISHED in Chiang Mai for 7,000 baht, a month rental. spend your bloody money on enjoying yourself this aint no "dress rehearsal" this is the "real deal" when your dead your dead, no-one has come back yet to say how good it is

[cooked]

I read through the thread.
1: as soon as the house is finished I think your real troubles will begin.
2: you will have to solve your problem in a different way to what I did. I threw her son out and he won't be back. I also think that I am a nice person but people generally respect what I say. Not everyone is the same .
3: I left my house, business and village when I found myself in a situation I couldn't stand any more. I stood there with nothing . Actually I did that again a few years later.
4: you do eventually learn where you went wrong if you are self critical. I spent a miserable few years in penance and having attoned for my sins to myself and consequently to people around me, I am delirously happy with my little Thai wife.
Good luck mate, be a man according to your standards

Sent from my GT-S7500 using Tapatalk 2

Edited March 31, 2014 by cooked

[Water Buffalo]

<script type='text/javascript'>window.mod_pagespeed_start = Number(new Date());</script>

Oh you silly boy, fell into the Farang Trap. YOU HAD A HOUSE BUILT FOR HER, she rich lady now, got caught hook line and sinker, goodbye farang it was nice knowing you ha ha !! why the hell do all you guys want to BUY - BUILD them houses, it is beyond me, whats is wrong with renting,?? you can run away quicker. i have just looked at a NEW HOUSE UNFURNISHED in Chiang Mai for 7,000 baht, a month rental. spend your bloody money on enjoying yourself this aint no "dress rehearsal" this is the "real deal" when your dead your dead, no-one has come back yet to say how good it is

Perhaps some guys want something for their children.

[Doc46]

I need to find a different place to live while our house is being built

Sorry to sound crass but I fail to see what is stopping you? I'm afraid I couldn't read through all that. Far too early, and I've not had my tea yet.

I think you need to "man up" and get tough with your wife, be Tarzan, pick her up, tuck her under your arm, carry her out of the house, bung her in a cab to the nearest train/bus station and get out of there....You can rent a pleasant place for 20K THB almost anywhere.

When her sister visits you at your new home, be sure to treat her as she did you.

That will never happen. Wife will never leave Sister. That is out of the question. Besides, I'm just not built that way. People will do what they will do. There is no point in forcing anyone. All that will ever do is backfire on the one doing the force. Never fails.

You do make a great point however. Every now and again, I get sick and tired of it and pack a bag and walk on out of here. Wife always comes looking for me. I think that is sub-conscious on my part. I want to see if she really cares enough to want to come find out where the bloody hell I'm at and try and work things out. She always does. Then, she always sweet talks me back into this hell.

But one of these days, and it won't be long, I am going to pack my bags and head out where she simply will not be able to locate me. I can so not be found if I want to. But the other problem with leaving is the money. Most of what we have is tied up in the new house and other things. If I leave, I can kiss all of that goodbye and say hello to starting over.

Thanks for raising your point. It made me think.

If she won't move away with you away from the Dragon sister;;;;;;Go Back Home;;;;;;;NEVER SPENT MORE MONEY IN THAILAND THAN WHAT YOU CAN AFFORD TO WALK AWAY FROM AND LOSE !!!!!

[HeavyDrinker]

I'm afraid I have to agree with the over riding sentiment here, Once that house is built, expect the whole bunch to descend on you and behave far worse than they are now, as they will know you don't have a leg to stand on and they've got a lovely shiny new house in the bargain...Get out now if you can, leave them with a load of rubble....

I hope people considering doing the same read this thread and learn from it...

This must be one of the most oft told tales in Thailand, with the advice ''don't build/buy a house for your other half'' being told here over and over by people who know better, yet still come the mugs, one after the other...

I don't know what makes my blood boil more, the greed of the girl and her family or the idiocy of the dumb Westerners involved as there is simply no excuse any more for people getting caught up in this sort of thing any more.

[benalibina]

I'm afraid I have to agree with the over riding sentiment here, Once that house is built, expect the whole bunch to descend on you and behave far worse than they are now, as they will know you don't have a leg to stand on and they've got a lovely shiny new house in the bargain...Get out now if you can, leave them with a load of rubble....

I hope people considering doing the same read this thread and learn from it...

This must be one of the most oft told tales in Thailand, with the advice ''don't build/buy a house for your other half'' being told here over and over by people who know better, yet still come the mugs, one after the other...

I don't know what makes my blood boil more, the greed of the girl and her family or the idiocy of the dumb Westerners involved as there is simply no excuse any more for people getting caught up in this sort of thing any more.

You know what really makes ur blood boil..you know.

[DLP]

God gave man a dick and a brain, but not enough blood to operate them both at the same time.

[cooked]

It helps when you have a fixed income and no fortune, a lot. I could walk away tomorrow (I won't) with the same income as I have today. I help the hard working family around us when I can, they have helped me out in time of need. I fix up the home and pay the bills. I wonder if problems like this lay with people that have a few millions to spend? I do all construction work myself so I don't go paying crooks and imbeciles to build a house that is over sized for our needs.

[BritManToo]

It helps when you have a fixed income and no fortune, a lot. I could walk away tomorrow (I won't) with the same income as I have today. I help the hard working family around us when I can, they have helped me out in time of need. I fix up the home and pay the bills. I wonder if problems like this lay with people that have a few millions to spend? I do all construction work myself so I don't go paying crooks and imbeciles to build a house that is over sized for our needs.

Buying a woman a house is Gods way of telling you, you have too much money.

[sirchai]

I have said it many times here before, living near the extended family is crazy, because they will always come before you, every day, especially with their problems.

PS. OP, your position l have witnessed many times before, even though some farangs have said it's great. Mrs.Trans tells me otherwise ,farang face.

Another one bites the dust. One word at the end was missing. AMEN.-

P.S. Did you hear that the cow is pregnant with twins?

Edited March 31, 2014 by sirchai

[jessicar]

you are just no. 1000000001 of farangs who got no idea whats going on.

go on an support her and her &lt;deleted&gt;....g family. they can be soooooo nice !?!?!?

[transam]

I have said it many times here before, living near the extended family is crazy, because they will always come before you, every day, especially with their problems.

PS. OP, your position l have witnessed many times before, even though some farangs have said it's great. Mrs.Trans tells me otherwise ,farang face.

Another one bites the dust. One word at the end was missing. AMEN.-

P.S. Did you hear that the cow is pregnant with twins?

What, the OP's.?..................

[GunterChiangMai]

God gave man a dick and a brain, but not enough blood to operate them both at the same time.

This is so true! The bigger the penis the bigger the operation problem. For me personale it is a huge problem!

Sent from my iPhone using Thaivisa Connect Thailand

[Stan7444]

You should be an author,I'd buy your books.

Thank you, for the fine compliment. All things begin and end with stories.

Here are my 2 cents worth. Leave this family since NOBODY likes you, including the wife who does not even stick up for you in front of her family. It all depends upon the class of the Thai family, not so different from the social classes of American or UK or German or other counties.

Thai families are very "tight" and the farang husband comes last in the pecking order. I am now considering at my age of over 60 of marriage with a Thai woman, who is beautiful, sexy, good family, Issan (of course) and wants me and a kid (good luck). I am now (thanks to your writing) to rethink my future endeavors and not link up with her formally. After all she is too old for me at 31.

I agree with the prior commenter that you should write a book on "Marriage In Thailand" or some such venture. However, it sounds like a tragedy instead of a romantic story and sorry to hear about what you have gone though. Personally, I would have never put up with the BS that you seemed to have.

Best of luck to you as a fellow Yankee.

[Jbax]

Here's a few things I'd like to pass along:

Hate isn't the opposite of love, it's indifference.

Life is too short to be miserable. If you can't fix what's wrong, get the hell out of there.

[Donnie Brasco]

Awk pbai ! Awk Pbaiii ! AWWWWK PBAAAIIIIIII !

"Sometimes, 'fuggedabowdit' just means fuggedabowdit. . . . "

[benalibina]

Awk pbai ! Awk Pbaiii ! AWWWWK PBAAAIIIIIII !

"Sometimes, 'fuggedabowdit' just means fuggedabowdit. . . . "

Get out you mean ?

[bigjules007]

I need to find a different place to live while our house is being built

Sorry to sound crass but I fail to see what is stopping you? I'm afraid I couldn't read through all that. Far too early, and I've not had my tea yet.

I think you need to "man up" and get tough with your wife, be Tarzan, pick her up, tuck her under your arm, carry her out of the house, bung her in a cab to the nearest train/bus station and get out of there....You can rent a pleasant place for 20K THB almost anywhere.

When her sister visits you at your new home, be sure to treat her as she did you.

Who needs heavy baggage?

Another good point. Who needs any of this BS?!!!!!!!!

I just read my own post again, and I've discovered I am right up to my eyeballs with this crap.

When I woke up this morning, I got into the truck and started out for the university to see a friend. She came running outside and wanted to know where I was going (of course). I told her. She said she wanted to come with me. I said, 'fine'.

Then of course wandered off to her room, taking her own sweet time, to primp and preen and get ready to make yet another show of herself in front of everyone. I slammed on the parking brake and left the truck running. I barged into her room and said, "I'm leaving right now. Get in the truck and let's go -- or you can forget about coming with me. I'm not standing here all day waiting for you to make yourself up. We're going to taste pumpkins in a shed, for chrissakes, woman! What in the <deleted> do you need to put on makeup for?!!!!!!! Let's <deleted> goooooooooooo!!!!!!! Nooooooowwwwwwwww!!!!!!!!!! Put on your white blouse, your denim shorts, slap the new ball cap I bought you on your head and let's <deleted> goooooooooooo!!!!!!! Nooooooowwwwwwwww!!!!!!!!!!"

I walked out of doors with her following quickly behind me, startled, shaken. She barely said a word the whole time we traveled.

She felt out of place at the pumpkin tasting. She was dressed just like everyone else, for a change. No flashy clothes and big, sparkling rings on her fingers. No makeup. That made her "lose face"; but only in her own mirror. No one cared how she was dressed. There was nothing wrong with the way she was dressed. She looked just fine and cute as ever. Little Miss Vanity had a fine time, in spite of her godddamned <deleted> self, which has a great big, empty black hole running right through the middle of it that no amount of money, clothing, makeup, property, love and/or attention can ever fill.

Spoiled <deleted> brat.

Which brings up another very good point... I'm too damned nice. Let her walk all over me and get away with murder.

Enough of that crap.

Sorry people but this has Trollish undertones to me

[crazydrummerpauly]

I need to find a different place to live while our house is being built

Sorry to sound crass but I fail to see what is stopping you? I'm afraid I couldn't read through all that. Far too early, and I've not had my tea yet.

I think you need to "man up" and get tough with your wife, be Tarzan, pick her up, tuck her under your arm, carry her out of the house, bung her in a cab to the nearest train/bus station and get out of there....You can rent a pleasant place for 20K THB almost anywhere.

When her sister visits you at your new home, be sure to treat her as she did you.

20K THB!!!??? Whatthefudge. Why do i see these insane rents all the time on here - sub-10K is more than enough out in real Thailand. I pay 6,000 for a modern duplex 2-bed house with an air-con and gardens etc - come to economical Isaan ! :-)

[bigjules007]

I need to find a different place to live while our house is being built

Sorry to sound crass but I fail to see what is stopping you? I'm afraid I couldn't read through all that. Far too early, and I've not had my tea yet.

I think you need to "man up" and get tough with your wife, be Tarzan, pick her up, tuck her under your arm, carry her out of the house, bung her in a cab to the nearest train/bus station and get out of there....You can rent a pleasant place for 20K THB almost anywhere.

When her sister visits you at your new home, be sure to treat her as she did you.

20K THB!!!??? Whatthefudge. Why do i see these insane rents all the time on here - sub-10K is more than enough out in real Thailand. I pay 6,000 for a modern duplex 2-bed house with an air-con and gardens etc - come to economical Isaan ! :-)

I agree!!, I thought he meant 20k for the year!! because thats the time period he stated it would need to complete his house.

[crazydrummerpauly]

You should be an author,I'd buy your books.

Yeah, but that's the problem - it's already fiction ?

[metisdead]

An inflammatory insult post has been removed as well as a reply.

[Razer64]

Wow, lots of good comments here. Thanks, Everyone!

To answer some of the questions... No, I am not yet fluent in Thai. Working hard at it every day however. Getting there. And I know my way around pretty well anyway. I see where you're going with your question, but, no. I don't agree with everything you said. Just because I don't know the language as well as I should, don't mean people need to be rude. There's no reason to be rude. I've welcomed them all into my home in America with open arms at one time or another. I didn't ask them for anything. I haven't offended anyone. There's no reason to be rude.

Why does Sister and Brother hate me? I have no idea. I just got here. I've kept clear of everyone and minded my own business. Anyway, your question is wrong. The real question to ask is, Why does Sister hate brother? Why does Sister hate Little Brother's new girlfriend so bad that she literally attacked her, kicked her off the property and forbid her to return for any reason--ever? Why does Sister hate her own husband? Why is husband so scared of Sister he drinks himself into oblivion every night? Why is he so scared of her that he runs the other way and hides when he sees her coming?

I think Sister has some kind of psychological problems. Maybe she hasn't been laid in a really long time. In fact, I know she hasn't. She thinks sex is filthy and that no one should be doing it. She's a Buddhist. Maybe that's the problem. She eats a lot of fried fish with the guts still in them. Maybe that's it. Maybe the mercury content has finally gotten the better of her. She eats a ton of pig, too. Maybe she's constipated. Before she shut me out, I advised her to eat a nice salad before every meal. Maybe she considered that presumptuous and rude and cast me to the devil for it. Maybe she's jealous of my wife that she got a good-looking American who doesn't drink or smoke or do any drugs, works out and keeps himself looking and performing excellently at all times, while she ended up with the ugliest fellow in the whole village, who drinks constantly, smokes like a wildfire, and could care less if she wakes up tomorrow or not.

On second thought, there is nothing wrong with Sister. She's just decided to be a wench. That's all. Everyone around her has let her run the show for so long that no one dares contest her authority. It's gone to her head. Her ego is more bloated than a Macy's Thanksgiving Day parade balloon. She's like an obstreperous raging elephant who's got loose and has to bust everything up and crap all over everything.

An interesting thing happened tonight around supper time...

I went to the cafe to get some grub, per usual. Sister was in the dining room, seated, eating, alone. There were many guests eating as well. I saw her. She saw me. I ignored her completely and sat down.

Outside, a big party was going on in the village, not far from her place. Fireworks were shot into the sky all of a sudden. The giant sparks and loud booms scared the dog out of her mind and she was running around, yelping, and freaking out. I paid no attention. Just a dog scared of loud noises. Not unusual about that. They're fine once the noise stops.

Sister felt sorry for the poor thing and went outside to try and comfort her. Soon, Sister was freaking out because the dog would not stop freaking out. Soon after that, Sister was freaking out worse than the dog was freaking out. She was hopping around, screaming, not knowing what to do. Everyone in the dining room was staring at her. All the workers came out of the kitchen to see what in the world was going on out there.

Soon, I'd had all I could take of this nonsense. I got up from my table and walked calmly, deliberately toward Sister and her poor little dog. I reached down and took the dog by nape of her neck and pulled her out of Sister's clutches in one smooth powerful swipe. My physical strength scared the crap out of her and she fell backwards onto her butt. I had never stood so close to Sister before in our lives. All this time she'd thought she was in control, that it was I who was scared of her. She had no clue.

I took the dog to the edge of the sidewalk, where the fireworks were brightest and loudest, and knelt down in front of the little dog. I made the dog stay there, in a sitting position, while I stroked her fur and talked gently to her. I kept this up for a minute or two, and soon the dog was just sitting there watching the fireworks. I let go the dog and went back to my table. The dog figured out there was nothing to be afraid of and walked away happily, letting out a little bark at each explosion. But there was no more freaking out.

I noticed Sister as I held the dog. I glanced at her and saw her staring at me in wide wonder, with a bit of a smile on her perpetually frowning face, for a change. She had never seen such a thing before. And if she had, she certainly never thought a simple brute, such as myself, was capable of it.

As I went and sat back down at my table, I realized Sister was still standing outside,watching me. She wanted to approach and say something, but she lacked the courage. I just looked the other way, and went back to reading the news.

My wife had seen the whole thing. She saw what happened between Sister and I. She smiled and went back to work without a word.

See, Sister? There's nothing to be afraid of. I ain't gonna bite you.

[jacksam]

Sorry man but this is all bullshit. Your life sounds like rubbish. Your very detailed account if anything just rings alarm bells. Its like you want some thaivisa non friends to feel a big sympathy for you. Grow some balls leave this area where wifellives, tell her it them or you and basically grow up.

[Donnie Brasco]

You should be an author,I'd buy your books.

Yeah, but that's the problem - it's already fiction ?

We have to be content with fiction. It sells Patts condos.


Sent from my iPhone using Thaivisa Connect Thailand mobile app

[Eloelo]

Shoot the sister first,then the sisters husband! and if your wife complains then shoot her too..then pack your bag and leave! no one will follow you..go see a lawyer sell you assets, start again somewhere new with the lesson learned!

[saakura]

That will never happen. Wife will never leave Sister.

Well you're being your own worst enemy.

Some blokes just won't be told. Thailand is rammed to the rafters with cute women; time to seriously consider trading this one in if she's driving you nuts to the level you need to write to War and Peace length in every post just to vent off steam...

Imagine yourself on your favourite beach, or in you place in Thailand, or in your favourite bar, far away from all this.

How would you feel there? You can be there...tomorrow, maybe in a few hours.....if you bite the bullet...

Take control of your life.

Once you lose it, you're heading for utter ruin and despair, especially here, if the family realise their little princess has you by the knackers....

There is always two sides to every story and we know only one. She perhaps knows that with some of your habits or attitude which only a wife is privy to, there is a good chance that this relation is not going to last long but her family will not abandon her?

[BB1955]

_{First rule of thumb I cleared up with my wife before we got married . We will not live with your family , they will not live with us . Visits will be the five day rule ... Five days and your outta here . Fortunatley we are 500k from her family so the visits are not very often . As far as going to visit them wife goes about every four months for 4 or 5 days . I haven't been in almost 4 years ......... The op has a major problem I believe I would be looking for greener pastures .....}

[Loptr]

I don’t hate them. I am indifferent to them. I once loved them.

What a sad story. What you need to do is to get yourself free of this family, your wife included. 13 years of marriage and you come after the family dog. Never would I stand for being treated in such a manner, especially since it is YOUR place of business and you picking up the tab. Grow some balls and get yourself free.