TallGuyJohninBKK Posted April 9, 2014 Share Posted April 9, 2014 (edited) The OP here seems to be long gone, so I'm not even going to deal with that. But on the broader issue, it's certainly true that Thai society is very image conscious. People are judged by other Thais based on how they dress and appear. So, to that extent, there's some reason for people to try to present themselves well. In my case, fortunately, my wife isn't big on shopping and doesn't bust our budget buying stuff, so I'm very happy about that. And she always has dressed well when we go outside or she's going to work. But lately, not sure why, she had started wearing some very (to me at least) odd kinds of color combinations. Like a grey dress with a dark brown sweater. Or forest green slacks with a sky blue color polo shirt. Even though she had navy blue or black sweaters to go with her gray dress, or tan or yellow shirts to go with her green slacks. And I just said to her, "Honey, why are you wearing those together. Those colors really don't fit together." And she of course said they were fine. But I didn't argue about it. Just continued to tell her when things she was wearing wouldn't match. And, of course, compliment her when she was wearing things that looked nice together. And, over a bit of time, she seems to have gotten over the odd colors deal. She always looks good to me, of course. But now she also looks good when she goes off to work as well, which is an important thing for her. A gentle approach can produce good results over time. On the other hand, I did buy her a new pair of dress shoes one time, after the pair she'd been wearing gave out. We went shopping together, and I found a pair I liked, and she tried them on, and accepted them. So I bought them. Very nice pair of heeled dress shoes in black and tan. To this day, I don't believe she's ever worn them once. Learned my lesson on that one. Edited April 9, 2014 by TallGuyJohninBKK Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
canman Posted April 9, 2014 Share Posted April 9, 2014 I had one situation some years ago with a man i met up with via a dating site. I take my time to know a person, but seemed he was already convinced we would be a good match, just that i apparently needed some tweeking. I like wearing muted colours, he liked to be more flashy. He had bought me two dresses that he thought i would look nice in, although not at all to my taste. But, not to be rude, i thanked him. He then asked me later on if i would ever wear tie-dye (GOD NO!) Diplomatically told him that im not a fan of tie-dye. He commented to me "you really like your own style, dont you"..after i didnt respond to his hints. He mentioned about teasing his ex for wearing something he thought looked terrible on her...i guess to try drive it home. Then he asked me if i would ever consider cutting my hair short, as he thought short hair looked cute. Big red flags waved at me vigoriously as i happily said goodbye to him. Thankfully i found out right away the control freak side. Would have hated to have fallen for a guy, only to have this side creep out later..! Bloody awful way to treat a partner OP! My guess is that your guy Lara was trying to make you look like a lost love; an ex or maybe even his mother. Always good to 'know when to fold them' and retreat. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chrisinth Posted April 9, 2014 Share Posted April 9, 2014 OP, thought to ponder.................. Have you at any stage of your relationship freaked out because she has spent a lot of money while she was out shopping? Rebukes such as this, even though forgotten by you very quickly, can have effects for years to come.................... 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chrisinth Posted April 9, 2014 Share Posted April 9, 2014 (edited) Still, even if they were old fashioned clothes, as long as they fitted me when she was out shouldn't present too much of a problem. That is a joke BTW, still waiting for the heavily sarcastic smiley................. Edited April 9, 2014 by chrisinth Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
meatboy Posted April 9, 2014 Share Posted April 9, 2014 stockings,suspenders,bloomers and a girdle,jesus those bring back memouries. op.its whats underneath that counts. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kingstonkid Posted April 9, 2014 Share Posted April 9, 2014 While i do not uderstand Ops that run and hide, I can understand his question. My lady was brought up by her grandparents as a single child. Being a "good shy Thai girl" was the anwswer to them and her. She worked in a spa as a receptionist and some days made the cleaners look good. While i did not understand her dress I supported her and got to know her friends. Guess wht they agreed with me. I then took her out and got her some new tailored clothes and she got a spa day from work whee all the girls got to work on her including hair adn nails. We as men willnever change who they are but peer pressure till works. Also taking her away from where everyone knows her and letting her get to truly be free from what others might say helps. Taking her to samet this week exactly because that is where her friends said she should go. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vacuum Posted April 9, 2014 Share Posted April 9, 2014 Maybe she's a very good looking lady and had enough of the catcalls from the male population. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
khunpa Posted April 9, 2014 Share Posted April 9, 2014 A beautiful woman looks beautiful in any kind of clothes. An ugly woman will remain ugly no matter what she wear. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kitsune Posted April 9, 2014 Share Posted April 9, 2014 You should brush up your fashion sense. - Trying to be anotherone of these Sukhumvit clone, which basically means wearing cheap version of Western fashion and look like a cheap tart is not the way to go. - keeping true to what and who you are and proudly wear clothes that send a strong sense of identity is bold and beautiful. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarpolo Posted April 9, 2014 Share Posted April 9, 2014 You wouldnt have anything against a girl wanting to wear a pair of cut off jeans and a tee shirt, would'ya? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LaraC Posted April 9, 2014 Share Posted April 9, 2014 A beautiful woman looks beautiful in any kind of clothes. An ugly woman will remain ugly no matter what she wear. Thats pretty unfair Khunpa. There are people in the world that are no oil paintings, male and female alike. They can still turn out well, with thought and consideration as to what suits them. A beautiful woman may indeed look beautiful in anything, but if she was walking around with matted hair and dressed like a homeless bag lady, she wouldnt look very presentable. I get your point that you might be making (that the OP's gf, if pretty, would look good in anything), but i think the ugly woman part is uncalled for and mean. There are many deeper and richer qualities in people that go beyond merely just looking good. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soutpeel Posted April 9, 2014 Share Posted April 9, 2014 I would saying how happy you are,...... Mrs S spends an absolute fortune on clothes/shoes/hand bags and ends only every wearing half them... and trust me you be happy she hasnt got your trasping around multiple clothes, spending hours looking at clothes, shoes and hand bags and generally p*ssing about, only to decide what she had seen 3 hours before is what she wants to buy. Although we have a solution now, any malls she shops in must have a DYI / electronics department or a bar and I go off "tool" shopping or go for a beer and watch the passing totty..(which she dont like incidently)... Count yourself lucky... Are you meaning that you would prefer a gf/wife like the OP's wearing old Issan clothes with no sound interest in fashion? Hard to believe ;-) Having the one you describe taking good care of her look makes you the lucky one IMHO. Not at all, I would prefer to have a wife who didnt have ME trasping around shopping malls looking at clothes/shoes and hand bags... My comments were made somewhat tongue in cheek, reason being the OP seems to be making a big issue out this, and I was pointing out be careful what you wish for... To be perfectly honest I dont know what the OP or you actually mean by "old Isaan clothes" anyway as Mrs S is from the South, so I wouldnt know the difference between old Isaan clothes, Old Bangkok clothes or old Songkhla clothes... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kerrysum Posted April 9, 2014 Share Posted April 9, 2014 Hmmmmmmm... Maybe she is proud of her Heritage, but if you are looking for a Barbie Doll, then perhaps you are in the wrong neck of the woods..... Just my two cents......... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
taqila Posted April 9, 2014 Share Posted April 9, 2014 (edited) huummm, sounds like he would prefer her to look like a sexy bar girl walking on his arm. I gave those up for girlfriends and now enjoy the more conservative dressed one that is sexier under the dress than most sexy dressed bar girls I've met here in the past 4 yrs. I agree and just asked her if she likes wearing the sexy ooohhlalaa's underwear's that I regularly buy for her under her conservative long skirts and dresses to work, and she smiles and said, yes, of course. Ok, she may dress like my Mom 40 years ago, but she don't wear them when we're alone. In my past life I was a successful manufacturer of fashion women's dresses and I still see the same styles worn in the Pattaya bars and the more conservative one like my gf wears. I made two lines of dresses, the hostess sexy line and the career woman line and were purchased in every state in the USA in the major shopping malls. Sometimes my dress would probably upset a lady here or in the Western world so I listen if they object. It's not so bad and a good subject. Thanks. Edited April 9, 2014 by taqila Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soutpeel Posted April 9, 2014 Share Posted April 9, 2014 There are people in the world that are no oil paintings, male and female alike. ....quite...its not like the average geriatric farang married to a local ladiy is an ex-male model, in peak physical condition for their age, with impeccable fashsion sense is it. ? Unless of course you count sandles with socks on, dirty shorts, Singha wife beater and a big buddah medallion on their baboon like hairy chests as impeccable atire.. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soutpeel Posted April 9, 2014 Share Posted April 9, 2014 You wouldnt have anything against a girl wanting to wear a pair of cut off jeans and a tee shirt, would'ya? I might if the girl in question was 350lbs... 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bkkden Posted April 9, 2014 Share Posted April 9, 2014 I had a similar situation. I bought my wife LV luggage and handbag and lots of Prada and so on. She won't use these things in Thailand. When I asked her she told me these things are too expensive to use so she keeps them nicely wrapped. However when we travel abroad she takes these things out and uses them. I can only guess that she wants to be seen as very conservative here. I suppose that's a good thing. Sent from my iPhone using Thaivisa Connect Thailand Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Morakot Posted April 9, 2014 Share Posted April 9, 2014 (edited) My gf will not stop wearing 'Ugly Old Issan Clothing' UOIC You may like to introduce her to the latest "must-have" fashion label. Edited April 9, 2014 by Morakot Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
recycler Posted April 9, 2014 Share Posted April 9, 2014 Maybe she wants you to enjoy her more without clothes Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Morakot Posted April 9, 2014 Share Posted April 9, 2014 Still no photos?? Yes, still no photos on Streetpeeper for Udon Thani or Bangkok. Shocking! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarpolo Posted April 9, 2014 Share Posted April 9, 2014 (edited) You wouldnt have anything against a girl wanting to wear a pair of cut off jeans and a tee shirt, would'ya? I might if the girl in question was 350lbs... those would come from the big mans shop. probably have to pay a big premium too, and cover the costs & upkeep, on the back hoe you'll need onhand to help lift her leg, one at a time, so she doesnt hurt herself or any small children, as she puts her legs down Edited April 9, 2014 by Scarpolo 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dao16 Posted April 9, 2014 Share Posted April 9, 2014 I don't know, I would feel weird if my wife dressed like a "mia falang," dripping with gold and garish clothing (believe me, I see it). She just dresses in regular clothes most of the time, which I am happy with--I don't like it when people try to show off. That said, when we go out to a nightclub or a nicer restaurant, she will put on nicer clothes to look nice. Seems like most women are interested in getting dressed up and made up sometimes. Maybe this guy is just too demanding? I have some friends with girlfriends like that--they are done up to the nines every day, all day. To each his own, I guess. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KamalaRider Posted April 9, 2014 Share Posted April 9, 2014 So many answers about control. Typical western hypocrisy, of course we care what our spouse look like, and how we look ourselves. Anyone saying anything else is a lier, unless you are a bum. In general, women from the western countries are the ones trying desperately to control men, not only their own but everyone, so in this case if you don't have any real advice, just zip it. My advice for you is to read a couple of womens fashion magasines and then look for what you would like her to wear, doesn't need to be overly fancy, then take her out to try on new clothes, if it takes 6-8 hours, don't care, it's an investment for yours and others eyes and not to mention the boost of her own self awearness and confidence. Be prepared she won't radically change her wardrobe into what you would like her to wear. My wife felt like she was "leaving" the family at first, everyone has to look the same, but by the years, I'm not involved anymore in my wifes choices of clothing, now she have formed her own opinion about what to buy and wear. And now she feels more confident and not shy amongst people anymore. I think it actually started when I bought her a very classy dress in Central Festival for cristmas a few years back. She got complimented even from her family members and Thai friends, which boosted her confidence to wear stylish clothes. She still tries to look for the cheapest but nicest looking clothes though and sometimes, the raggish isaarn rags comes out from a drawer somewhere. But now she have a choice, a mental one what to wear and she actually prefers, 95% of the time, to dress up a bit. Good luck and hope you both will mold together your whishes and needs. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cronus Posted April 9, 2014 Share Posted April 9, 2014 My gf is from middle class family, highly educated and earns good money. Stopped reading here... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KamalaRider Posted April 9, 2014 Share Posted April 9, 2014 My gf is from middle class family, highly educated and earns good money. Stopped reading here... But still felt like you had to make a comment? 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NeverSure Posted April 9, 2014 Share Posted April 9, 2014 The OP troll is lucky. My ugly old Isaan girlfriend will not stop buying beautiful and expensive clothes. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sirchai Posted April 9, 2014 Share Posted April 9, 2014 (edited) Maybe she wants to be equal with your shorts, socks, sandals and your muscle shirt over your beer belly?- Is that your wife on the photo? Edited April 9, 2014 by sirchai Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wvavin Posted April 9, 2014 Share Posted April 9, 2014 Anything wrong with that? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
risky11 Posted April 9, 2014 Share Posted April 9, 2014 I think this is legitimate concern. I would feel the same way. Men have a right to be honest about their feelings and express what they WANT same as women do. While it is frustrating to have a partner who spends all your money on clothes, as if she was a fashion model; it is just as frustrating to have a partner who insists on wearing old, dumpy clothes. In fact, women usually complain about this very issue in their male partners. Therefore, the OP has honestly, yet tactfully, communicated to his wife that he wants her to start dressing better - but she refuses. The direct approach is now in order. Since it probably won't work, the OP must decide if he is willing to accept a stubborn partner who puts her own comfort first - OR look for someone who puts her husband's joy and delight first. After all, women know full well that men are attracted through their eyes. I don't want a dumpy looky wife any more than a woman wants a dumpy looking husband. I encourage the OP not to settle for less than he wants, but rather to keep seeking until he finds it. After all, life is short - go for the gusto. Good luck! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarpolo Posted April 9, 2014 Share Posted April 9, 2014 I think this is legitimate concern. I would feel the same way. Men have a right to be honest about their feelings and express what they WANT same as women do. While it is frustrating to have a partner who spends all your money on clothes, as if she was a fashion model; it is just as frustrating to have a partner who insists on wearing old, dumpy clothes. In fact, women usually complain about this very issue in their male partners. Therefore, the OP has honestly, yet tactfully, communicated to his wife that he wants her to start dressing better - but she refuses. The direct approach is now in order. Since it probably won't work, the OP must decide if he is willing to accept a stubborn partner who puts her own comfort first - OR look for someone who puts her husband's joy and delight first. After all, women know full well that men are attracted through their eyes. I don't want a dumpy looky wife any more than a woman wants a dumpy looking husband. I encourage the OP not to settle for less than he wants, but rather to keep seeking until he finds it. After all, life is short - go for the gusto. Good luck! but what was she wearing all this time? sounds like he wants to trade up no harm, but lets not blame clothes Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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