A fellow bought a nice new Mercedes and was out on open road for a nice evening drive. The top was down, the breeze was blowing through his hair and he decided to open her up. As the needle jumped up to 80mph, he suddenly saw a flashing red and blue light behind him.

"There ain't no way they can catch a Mercedes," he thought to himself, and opened her up further.

The needle hit 100, 140 and finally 160 with the lights still behind him.

"What on earth am I doing?" he thought and pulled over. The cop came up to him, took his licence without a word and examined it and the car.

"I've had a tough shift and this is my last pull over. I dont feel like more paperwork so if you can give me an excuse for your driving that I havent heard before you can go!"

"Last week my wife ran off with a cop," the man said, "and I was afraid you were trying to give her back!"

"Have a nice night," said the officer.

hahahahahahahah Got to love it. I will have to use that one,but except from my mom-in-law.

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I got stopped doing 47 MPH in a 35 MPH zone. The officer asked me if I had a good excuse for going so fast. I started to tell him a sob story, then recanted and said, 'Good Excuse?....No, not really a good one'. He told me to keep it down and let me go. It's amazing that if you are honest and have proper papers, most of the time the police will let you go...

Old but good:

The driver about 50% over the limit, the officer that stopped him:

"I have been waiting for you the whole day..."

Driver:

"Yeah, I came here as fast as I could."