In love with thai girl married to thai man

[Gillyflower]

I think this is/has become distinctly DEAD BORING.  The OP has been given a lot of advice.  I wonder if he will take any notice of it.  For a 36 year old he is quite ignorant.  It will be interesting to see if he does anything constructive (following the advice) and whether we will hear about it.  Mind you the last post from him did sound as though he was getting cheesed off.  If he isn't I AM.

[flashysite]

It's a scam. They are all in on it together.

Its real, online dates are real. Maybe u shud sell your house to pay the 30k usd, buy her a new iphone, buy her mom a buffalo, then marry her and offer whats left of the house sale money for sinsod. Live happily ever after. Goodluck. This is not a scam.

[Gats]

 

Ok first off, I HAVE seen this occur before and it's usually a scam. The "trapped" thing is very suspicious, but everybody else has already told you that and you're convincing yourself your dreams have come true, so let me focus on your side of it.

 

You're clearly smitten, so at least do some due dillegence and just get the relationship wheels moving. There is NO excuse for any of the following to be too much trouble for her if she cares half as much as you think. If it is a scam, you'll get excuses and probably be in the too hard basket before you get to step 3 (with your money in the bank).

 

1. Don't pay the money. If she can see friends, she can escape, but you may need to give her a place to escape too. If there's violence threatened, then one of her friends can go get her with the police (not you - police will not help you).

 

2. You can have a marriage annulled if you can prove the relationship is disfunctional for over 2 years (it's a neglection cause that's a pain in the butt, but it can be done). That means no shared living with him or shared bed with him for that period of time. Then he doesn't have to agree to get a divorce. So work on getting her somewhere safe and with you and start bulding up the 2 years.

 

3. If she does love you, then she will actually work to be with you. Scams like this exist in australia too, but the line here is wide and very very grey. Remember, even bar girls dream of a good boyfriend here, but they'll happily suck the ones they don't like dry in the meantime (why not? Run round australia offering the equivalent of a six figure salary to make you feel special and I know a bunch of aussie chicks who'd convince any man they loved him for that - so lets not judge)

 

4. To test this (and you MUST test this), give her a way out without spending money. If she loves you, she will take it.

 

5. Get together all the paperwork for a tourist visa (evidence of relationship, chat transcripts and all the photos of you together you can find). You'll also need to prove a reason to return on her part (job property or family). Even find a way to live here for a month or 2 to make it happen. Beurocracy will test any thai girl's resolve and most scammers move on the minute they have to fill in a 5 page form and wait in line at the embassy.

 

6. Aussie immigration don't give a crap if they're seperated, but still married, so partner tourist visas are fine as long as you can prove the relationship is real (I've done 2 with my wife before she was my wife).

 

7. Take her to Aus, forget expensive resturants, throwing money around and wining and dining. Just look after her and enjoy the time together doing chilled stuff. Even plan to spend another few months here when it runs out (she WILL get homesick - never heard of a thai girl who doesn't).

 

8. Ignore all cash to friend/family requests for that time (anything over $100 sets a bad precendent - school shoes for a brother, fine, somebody who's about to die to a loan shark if you don't send them 100,000baht - forget it). If she's legit, it will be the last thing on her mind and won't taint the relationship, but it will come up. Regular, small deposits to her when she's with you are cool and a record of real relationship. Get both names on bills if you can.

 

9. After 12months you can get a defacto visa from Aus. Our immigration does not require a divorce certificate (although there will be questions without one) if you've been living together for over a year.. get past that 12months and her ex can eat it.

 

If you get through the above tests, then you are right. If all you get is excuses excuses excuses and the complete run around. Then, please, for the self respect of all aussies, forget her and move on.

 

The line between scam and "fun" here is soooooooo different mate. I'm assuming you're not an idiot and that your vibe of her affection was actually real. The fun she had was real. She probably even likes you. BUT! Family is thick here and in a hardup thai family, the assumption is you've got money coming out of every orifice.. and why shouldn't they have some for all that fun you had with her?

 

There can be happy endings (I had a similar story without the money demands and 6 years later - happily married with a great relationship with the family), but 1 thing is true - pay up and you'll either be completely ripped off or at the very least become the dumb ugly farang cliche those in her family are making you out to be by putting this pressure on.

 

Fight for it if you want, but you will 100% lose if you hand over a single dollar, scam or no scam.

 

Utter rubbish.

 

We are in  the final stages of getting the prospective spouse visa for my girlfriend to come to Oz to marry.

 

We had to provide the marriage certificate from her (and my) previous marriage and the divorce certificate from her (and my) previous marriage.

 

The Aust Embassy BKK  have also requested a certificate or evidence that she is single and is able to be married. We submitted this to the Embassy on Thursday, yesterday.

 

One of the biggest issues Oz immigration has (had) is already married women coming to Oz to marry Australians. The process is very, very thorough.

 

We also had to get details from her primary school, high school, university and work history on top of the medical and police clearance all to prove that she is who she says she is.

 

There is also the house book to show the family members and sign off by the local Gumnun (excuse the spelling) and statements from friends and family (both in Oz and Thailand) that attest the relationship is genuine.

 

So far it has taken 7 months since the application was submitted.and is likely to be another 2 or 3 until finalised.

 

If you think you can just bring a lady here and wait 12 months then you are very much mistaken. She won't get a 12 month visitor visa anyway. Maybe 6 months if you are lucky, most likely three and even time at that. I.e 3 months in Oz and 3 months out, or 6 months in Oz and six months out.

 

This applies to Thailand and the Philippines as they are the two countries that have historically proven to be the most problematic in the area of already married women coming to OZ.

 

 

hahahaha better read up a bit more dude.

 

For prospective marriage, yes, you need to prove you are single.. and marry in 9mths.

 

For defacto you do not. If you can prove the relationship is seperated for at least 2 years and yours has been ongoing and unbroken for over a year, you can get defacto. I also didn't suggest you could get a 12 month visa, so again, read a little more before being master migration expert. I suggested he do whatever it takes to be together for 12 months.

 

My wife got 3months tourist. Came back 3 months later on another visitor visa for another 6, then I lived in thailand for 4months and we got DEFACTO without a divorce certificate (please read up on difference between defacto and prospective marriage - we didn't do prospective marriage because we didn't have the certificate and didn't want to chose between marrying in 9 months or having the marriage not recognised in thailand).

 

2 years later, after she was already an australian permanent residen, we got a divorce certificate and married in thailand but it's all about the burden of proof and the clear geniune nature of the relationship which meant a box of paperwork and letters from a relative on both sides and stat decs from my boss and friends.

 

Oh and guess what Mr Expert - didn't even have to go in for an interview and approval took 6 weeks as we had a long history of following the rules, dotted the i's and crossed the t's with the embassy to be together so the defacto was the easiest of the 3 visas we applied for.

 

Little more time in the immi site before you mouth off dude. Maybe if you knew as much about it as you think you do, you wouldn't have been waiting for 7months?

http://www.immi.gov.au/media/fact-sheets/35relationship.htm

 

Bessides, my point here is even if, like us you had a best case scenario, I don't think the OPs girl would eveng go through step 2. The paperwork we had to do for the first visitor visa (the toughest) made us both bleed from the eyes.

Edited April 25, 2014 by Gats

[TheRascal]

What would a Thai Girl do if you farted in front of her?

My girl finds it funny. Especially if I say "where's the duck" in Thai.

[ve741]

you got a good one

[TheRascal]

you got a good one

We won't be saying that next week when I find out she's got 2 kids and is already married. I'm already thinking how I can get the $30k together 

[Gats]

 

you got a good one

We won't be saying that next week when I find out she's got 2 kids and is already married. I'm already thinking how I can get the $30k together 

 

 

  Or when he realises that she was never at work, but an internet cafe and the camera went off as she had a prettier one (or who one was more gullable) who wanted to hit her up. I bet when the camera went off the responses slowed down too :)

[dannyshin]

you got a good one

We won't be saying that next week when I find out she's got 2 kids and is already married. I'm already thinking how I can get the $30k together 

I tell again OP is writing fiction, the story not exist in reality, but you people not understand this.

Sent from my Nexus 7 using Thaivisa Connect Thailand mobile app

[TheRascal]

 

 

you got a good one

We won't be saying that next week when I find out she's got 2 kids and is already married. I'm already thinking how I can get the $30k together 

I tell again OP is writing fiction, the story not exist in reality, but you people not understand this.

Sent from my Nexus 7 using Thaivisa Connect Thailand mobile app

 

 

Our comments were jokes - they didn't really relate to whether he's telling the truth or not. 

 

I understand what you said but I don't agree - I don't think he's writing fiction, the skype conversation would be too much effort on his part, especially as the original had quite a lot of thai in it but was deleted. I wish for his sake it was fiction, poor chap. 

[Farma]

The OP's situation has happened before.

 

A couple of years ago a very distant relative of the wife met an Aussie on the internet. She was married, had 2 kids and worked as a teacher at the time.

 

Next I heard she had left her husband and was headed to Oz to start a new life with the Aussie. As far as I know she is settled in Oz now.

[Gats]

 

 

 

you got a good one

We won't be saying that next week when I find out she's got 2 kids and is already married. I'm already thinking how I can get the $30k together 

I tell again OP is writing fiction, the story not exist in reality, but you people not understand this.

Sent from my Nexus 7 using Thaivisa Connect Thailand mobile app

 

 

Our comments were jokes - they didn't really relate to whether he's telling the truth or not. 

 

I understand what you said but I don't agree - I don't think he's writing fiction, the skype conversation would be too much effort on his part, especially as the original had quite a lot of thai in it but was deleted. I wish for his sake it was fiction, poor chap. 

 

 

Man I wish I could agree with you Danny... the real tradgedy here is that this story is very very very common. You've only got to look at the racist, cynical expats on here who hate on thais for the fact that their dream of being an awkward lonely guy who ends up with a 20something hot wife wasn't actually happening and they weren't "just that special guy". I have no sympathy at all.

 

My own situation had a lot of parallels (no kids though). But there was no money requests. No excuses. Just a genuine effort to be together and like any relationship it was hard work, but worth it.

 

 

Edited April 25, 2014 by Gats

[Foxter]

 I sent her money to move into an apartment 20k baht, not 30k US dollars for divorce.   Ill be asking to see photo of lease agreement.         If I never see her or the 20k baht again not the end of the world and one could say its a payment for services rendered

Do you have money to burn ? The advice here mainly says . Be careful and don't send a large amount of money .

They could send you a copy of a lease agreement , a copy , easily faked , and it will be in Thai .

Either listen to the advise here , which you requested , or do what you are doing and finish the link.
Personally. , I think you are being scammed and now you have sent that amount , they will not let go . You cannot guarantee anything she says is true, as you are not there and no third party to confirm anything

At Least contact a lawyer ( found by yourself or someone on this site) to do the work . Spend your money there , not to her .




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[Rob180]

As the OP has failed to listen to anyone's advice on here, I recommend this:

 

1. Please go on UTUBE and play the song 'Hey Sexy Maaaaaaaan Send Me Money' 100 times in a row and learn all the words off by heart.

2. Please read the thread on Pattaya Addicts.........' How Much Do You Sponsor' as it contains a very useful table for sending money. From memory I think it       was something like............Under 10,000 baht a month..........  Thai boyfriend not happy, still has to work

                 10,000-15,000 baht a month........ .Thai boyfriend happier can afford gasoline for motorbike and Thai whiskey

                  15,000-20,000 baht a month....... .Thai boyfriend happier, can give up work and spend more time on 'boom boom'

                  20,000-30,000 baht a month.........Thai boyfriend very happy, does not have to work and can boom boom and drink whiskey every night

                  Over 30,000 baht a month.............Thai boyfriend even more happy, can buy new motorbike and go to Bangkok to party every week.

 

Just to prepare you for forthcoming scams:

 

1. Apartments/houses to rent do not cost 20,000. Plenty good one's available from 8,000 up.

2. Mama does not need 30,000 for hospital bill, hospital treatment is free in most hospitals in Thailand, although you may have to pay for medical items and drugs which may cost 1000, not 30,000.

3. If family home suddenly needs 'new roof', please check recent weather reports for evidence of major storms and winds in the area.

4. She does not need a new motorbike because of an accident. If she fell off it she wouldn't be skyping you, she would be in hospital as everyone rides bikes with no helmets or protective clothing in Thailand.

 

Hope that helps.

[Runamile]

@ Rob 180

 

Priceless!

 

I'd like to add one, referring to a post from a few weeks back. Allowing your "maybe" girlfriend (never did quite fathom that one) to use the allowance you give her to pay the instalments on her parents' truck is, effectively, the same as you paying the instalments on the truck.

 

Alternatively, if she's using her wages, from you, or any other source, it's nobody's business how she spends them.

 

Just shows the need for clarity .................. which you hardly ever get in Thailand. Even from the foreigners!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Seriously, for a minute, the figures quoted in this thread have been wonderfully wild (not your's Rob). Quite what kind of place, for instance, does the woman want to live in?! I pray God she never wants a car or truck. As for a house, presumably Oz would end up depleted of foreign currency reserves!!

[Runamile]

@Dannyshin

 

I know. It's brilliant. Better than a soap, actually.

 

I long since lost any sense of what's fact, what's fiction. Truly gripping to see where it goes.

 

There have been a few like that recently. The one I mentioned was brilliant. I'm still waiting to find out if she was a housekeeper, a prostitute or a girlfriend.

 

Being Thailand of course, the chances are the OP has no idea. Equally, probably she has no idea, either!

 

Anyway, let's stay with this one. Wife? Mother? Mother of two or less children? Married to a Thai? Married to a Thai with an African name (a supreme plot convolution, that). Only thing I can see hasn't had a look in yet is katoeys. Maybe her maybe husband (or boyfriend or captor) has had a lifetime of purgatory as a male (that would help explain why he was so ready to see her go off for two weeks with another man!!!), the money being needed for conversion surgery.  Then, there's the mother - can we think of something more interesting than a new roof, new house or village hall?

[dannyshin]

As per previous post many Thai men not welcome farangs, but these guys are more tolerant as I know. We just make shows up using money (most of us save for year to spend on vacation), to lure these women. Many Thai men feel we steal their women, causing divorce or break ups. Can we tolerate if foreigners who visit our countries, takes away our wives or girlfriends? Obviously not.

Sent from my Nexus 7 using Thaivisa Connect Thailand mobile app Edited April 26, 2014 by dannyshin

[Runamile]

@Dannyshin

 

So, clearly, you're not British!

[dannyshin]

I'm Canadian

Sent from my Nexus 7 using Thaivisa Connect Thailand mobile app Edited April 26, 2014 by dannyshin

[Rob180]

Pictures are sometimes more useful than 1000 words.

[tekNique]

 It getting even more crazy, yesterday had a email conversation with him that was 36 odd replies long, he keen on getting paid off.     The real kicker was at the end when I said im not paying him.

 

 

Paul Johnny

I said I would consider compensation for you, 1 million baht is too much. 201...

4:21 PM (20 hours ago)

 

(removed thai name) as per rules as its thai language

For me is not that much for a perfect wife. ________________________________ ...

4:27 PM (20 hours ago)

 

 

 

 Perfect wife!! lol what the hell, she committed adultery with me many times.  I must admit I got a laugh when he I typed that....btw the way im not going to pay any compensation to him I was just testing him out.              in the west if your wife did this you'd want them out .

 

 Then last night I got email from her saying he beat her. With photos.   

 

 

[Gats]

As per previous post many Thai men not welcome farangs, but these guys are more tolerant as I know. We just make shows up using money (most of us save for year to spend on vacation), to lure these women. Many Thai men feel we steal their women, causing divorce or break ups. Can we tolerate if foreigners who visit our countries, takes away our wives or girlfriends? Obviously not.

Sent from my Nexus 7 using Thaivisa Connect Thailand mobile app

 

Forget making it a racial thing... it happens all the time in our countries. Shallow girl leaves boyrfriend for richer guy!

At least in the thai situations, the boyfriend remains the true love and gets a crapload of money out of it !

[Runamile]

@Rob180

 

I'm deeply upset. How could you think such a thing?!

 

Actually, I lied - the reason for my upset is you've, accidentally, done a pre-release on a t-shirt design I've been working on.

 

Thought it might sell quite well along Sukhumvit ........................ and, even better, along a few of its side sois!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Why nobody has ever named a bar ATM, I'll never know!  Maybe, I should make it a bar-related crusade, albeit after a resurrection of the Pink Flamingo, preferably at its original location.

[Gats]

 It getting even more crazy, yesterday had a email conversation with him that was 36 odd replies long, he keen on getting paid off.     The real kicker was at the end when I said im not paying him.

 

 

Paul Johnny

I said I would consider compensation for you, 1 million baht is too much. 201...

4:21 PM (20 hours ago)

 

(removed thai name) as per rules as its thai language

For me is not that much for a perfect wife. ________________________________ ...

4:27 PM (20 hours ago)

 

 

 

 Perfect wife!! lol what the hell, she committed adultery with me many times.  I must admit I got a laugh when he I typed that....btw the way im not going to pay any compensation to him I was just testing him out.              in the west if your wife did this you'd want them out .

 

 Then last night I got email from her saying he beat her. With photos.   

 

 

 

Dude - not hard to get photos of bruises.

Stop trying to legitimise being "the other guy" and act. 1 of 2 options dude:

 

1. Either give her somewhere else to go (which may mean moving to thailand for a while). Do this and you'll find out quick if she's serious or not.

2. Stop all communication, end it, and stop being a self indulgent twat.

 

At best you're being taken for a ride. At worst your little ego stroking is coming at the expense of a genuine girl and you've put her in danger.

 

You're just starting to make me feel sick. If this situation is a reality, then money won't fix it, an exit sign will.

Come to thailand. Give her a place to stay. Get her a 3 month tourist viss (6 is more likely to get turned down if it is the first). 

You'll have your answers pretty quick.

 

If you're "responsibilities" prevent this, then you don't care enough. Stop being such a naive western drama queen and man up. Seriously.

[Songhua]

This is better than daytime television!

[tekNique]

 Re: Gats  Im confused as hell if its real or not, im doing all I can, Ive said I would pay for her to live and that is all I can do at this time, I can not go to Thailand at the moment I just got back and have to work.               I worry for visa as if she leave the house she can no longer work so it will be hard to get tourist visa under Australian law. 

 

 Im doing all I can short of his bribe, Im stressed over this heaps

Edited April 26, 2014 by tekNique

[dannyshin]

 Re: above   Im confused as hell if its real or not, im doing all I can, Ive said I would pay for her to live and that is all I can do at this time, I can not go to Thailand at the moment I just got back and have to work.               I worry for visa as if she leave the house she can no longer work so it will be hard to get tourist visa under Australian law. 
 
 Im doing all I can short of his bribe, Im stressed over this heaps

If you have too much money better use it for charity than wasting on such kind of woman

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[Runamile]

I also think it's resolution time. That could most easily be achieved by being in Thailand - though the resolution might involve fifteen of the husband/boyfriend/captor's knife-wielding friends. Probably he'll get a little injured along the way, so one of the final cuts will be from her for your attack up her husband/boyfriend. "My attack??!!!!", he says, naively. Try telling that to the Police, if you're still alive...........

 

More-or-less as easy would be switching your computer off!!!!

 

But, first, please note that I'm an ex-professional photographer, so I'd like you to recommend me as the photographer for the next scam. I'm feeling left out in the money-making stakes!

[tekNique]

 You got to remember as far as I had know she was living separate to husband and was separated.   She told me she had a room I only found out she still living with ex once I got to Thailand.    but on his his facebook profile under relationship it says "its complicated" so they were kinda separate but still in same house.

 

 In the 2 odd months we were communicate before I went to see her I never knew the chit would hit the fan like this or I would of never got involved.

[dannyshin]

 You got to remember as far as I had know she was living separate to husband and was separated.   She told me she had a room I only found out she still living with ex once I got to Thailand.    but on his his facebook profile under relationship it says "its complicated" so they were kinda separate but still in same house.
 
 In the 2 odd months we were communicate before I went to see her I never knew the chit would hit the fan like this or I would of never got involved.

Are you Australian from East European descent?

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[Gats]

 You got to remember as far as I had know she was living separate to husband and was separated.   She told me she had a room I only found out she still living with ex once I got to Thailand.    but on his his facebook profile under relationship it says "its complicated" so they were kinda separate but still in same house.

 

 In the 2 odd months we were communicate before I went to see her I never knew the chit would hit the fan like this or I would of never got involved.

 

  So she managed to get away from him for 2 weeks to bump and grind with you, but she can't get out for a day to apply for a visa? There's always little white lies at the beginning of a relationship, but beware the ones that discredit everything that comes after it.

 

Dude @runamile is right, come back to thailand (and you better grow a pair first) to give her a place to go with no cash involved or turn off your computer.