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Does anyone else's girlfriend fly into incoherent rages about nothing?


bodkin

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We have come to serious blows on many occasions everytime started by her. Trivial stuff like...

Her: "Why didn't you tell me you forwarded me the email from immigration?"

Me: "Oh sorry, it's because your phone usually beeps and you check it every 5 minutes anyway. It wasn't urgent".

OR

Her (unprovoked and screaming at me from the other end of the carpark): "It's raining, you are such a stupid idiot. Why would you start the car before putting my bags in the boot? My bags will get wet."

Me: "I wanted to start the engine to warm it up and also it's dry under this tree. Do you see the tree?"

After this, her abuse tends to get hard to understand. Jumping between things she wants to say and making illogical connections, cutting me off before I've even made my point. Then she ups it a notch, by randomly accusing me that I treat bargirls better than her, implying about a girl that I slept with (who I didn't pay for and may or may not have been a bargirl). My girlfriend considers as though I'd cheated on her with this girl, even though she (my girlfriend) sent me about 100 messages saying that she hates me and never wants to see me again. I don't even remember what caused that breakup.

If she had spoken to me like this in the first 6 months I would have told her what's up and walked away never to be seen again. Now, when copping abuse I either walk outside, put my head under the pillow and ignore, or try to talk her down. If I walk outside or ignore, then in the next argument I'm accused of abandoning my responsibles (or more simple words to that effect). I try to calm her down, I get interrupted all the time which really gets my goat and then I fly off the wall.

A friend of mine told me it took him 7 years before he learned that he should just ignore. But I find it's really hard to ignore though when someone is verbally and sometimes physically shredding you. A couple of other friends say that their Thai girlfriends lie profusely and constantly. I don't think my girlfriend lies. I think she actually believes what she says. I was thinking she had some bipolar illness or one where they only experience the lower pole, if that exists. But most of those categories of illness come with periods of excessively elevated mood, which has doesn't seem to have. I'm not sure that it completely lines up with monthly cycles either. Maybe she is just Thai?

Besides these flare ups, everything is great! I will go now before I write a book.

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Even though I would have understood everything written in Post #1 if it were spoken to me (screamed at me?) in Thai, having a girl who doesn't speak English and to whom I have to sometimes say 'Why don't you say that again s-l-o-w-l-y' helps minimize the verbal tantrums.

Edited by JLCrab
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What's her age and whats your's ? Just curious as it may be relevant.

I explained the principle of "the straw that broke the camels back" never had a problem again.

Edited by CharlieH
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It's clear something is amiss if her character has changed like that.


If you are willing to try and work things out with her that is commendable if you see long term merit in doing that?


However, I would suggest you initiate 'Plan B' while you are working things out.

Meaning, get yourself set up to be able to leave, disappear, escape at a moments notice, just leaving non essentials behind.


If her ability to reason is diminishing then it could turn very ugly for you when you try to split amicably.


Not saying it will turn nasty, but from my experience preparing your escape plan now if things don't work out could save you stress, money & fear.


If you work things out, nothing lost. As that say forewarned is forearmed, and it looks like you are getting plenty of forewarning


Good luck

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My first wife was American and we lived in three different countries. She spoke six languages and had 4 degrees. She washed out my cats mouth with soap because the poor animal cried too much (I was at work) and stabbed our daughter in the thigh with a fork because her skirt was too short at her HS graduation. In my experience Thai women have been a welcome change. I don't think one can stereotype actions based on nationality. Whinging may be an exception.

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Guess i must be lucky my wife is very jai yen,she has never really blown up at me despite having every right to do so on occasion,feel sorry for the op ,think it may be time for him to move on.

No I good a good one to and all of her family and friends are ok to.You got a bad one move on quick, pleny of good ones out there just pack to bag are go
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If, as you say, this change in behavior is not the norm then it is clear your GF is angry about something – whether it’s your “cheating” incident or something else, her behavior will not stop until she gets over it. I have found that Thai women are particularly bad communicators – they either repress their feelings until they blow up or cry.

Only you can decide if it is worth getting to the root cause of her unhappiness – it will take work and patience and it may not pay off. Frankly, I would wait for a calm moment and discuss her behavior, how it is making you feel and allow her to explain what is really bothering her. Being a Thai woman, it may take repeated attempts over weeks or months. Again, it’s up to you to determine if the relationship is worth it and the trust level can be salvaged. Your not married, so fish or cut bait.

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Is this the emotional context you wish to define your life? Does it matter why she is doing it? Without question, a disease state is described above. To stay is pathological. To depart is to cure. You cannot likely fix what has taken a lifetime to mature in her. Unless she has some tumor or medical malady, you should run now. When you look back years later it will be hazy, and you will be thankful you had the courage to sever. You are slipping into a codependent relationship where you slowly "unbecome." Increasingly, you will seek to avoid these antics, try to outsmart her to please her, and in the process further lose her respect. Run!

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Man, just leave already, you're not even married. I can see it now; we're ling with a child who only has her TV soap dolls as role models and acts up to get her way, right. Give her an ultimatum and disappear for couple weeks. If she doesn't change her tune, unless you have a house with her, walk. Easy.

If you're looking for the reason, here it is: ALL parents screw up ALL kids and where Thailand is concerned, generally, you can write that down in bold type and underscore it. ;)

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