Scam Alert? Advice Needed

[connda]

Hire a private dective and have her checked out. Proably the best money you'll ever spend. The pool of available women is huge. Don't be in a hurry. Slow and cautious. Don't be worried about hurting the gals feelings: that's part of the scam. Get hooked emotionally before you get to know her and you'll have a problem. And don't get involved with anyone's family debts.

Why this fish? Throw her back and find another. This one is ripe.

Edited May 5, 2014 by connda

[wow64]

You should send 5,000,000b just to make sure everything is ok and the parents could get sick because of all this stress.

Sent from my c64

[onlycw]

Why not go on a fact-finding mission?

How old is the father? I know for a fact that someone in his 50s can make >40,000 Baht. And many get low interest government loans. But

Q1: who is this "friend"? 4 M is one hell of a lot to guarantee on his salary. And who would accept that guarantee?

Q2: Who's the lender?

Q3: What were the terms? Was it a mortgage? then there should be some 1st DoT or something granting the property to the lender, greatly reducing the debt...

Q4: People don't just disappear when they have good jobs. In Germany, it used to be almost impossible to declare personal BK. Folks had judgments for 30 years and still wouldn't pay them off. Just saying.

There's a lot of loan sharking going on. Was shocked over a 5% monthly interest with no repayments in years by family - some with advanced degrees. And yes, COLLATERAL. Why not sell the collateral at any price as even at 1/3 its FMV, it would beat the madness of paying >60% interest only for all these years!?!!

Often, a girl needs good advice. Many get sucked in somehow by relatives. It might be a sign of trust that she is opening up with such a topic, without expecting you to write a check for 4 M Baht.

[Thaiberius]

There aren't many what you may deem as working class Thai's who don't frequent the money lender regularly.

[Expattaff1308]

Neither a borrower nor a lender be!

Remember A Fool and His Money is Soon Parted !!

[transam]

@Esacpe4

Of course this is a scam. So what? I get emails every day telling me I've won millions of dollars. You just delete this nonsense and move on.

Contrary to what idiots on this forum claim, most girls on dating sites are quite normal.

You'll find someone decent in the end. It just takes time. Enjoy yourself and don't take it too seriously.

As other people are stating elsewhere on this forum, you really are quite pathetic.

Perhaps you are right, that doesn't bother me at all as long as folk take on board my words that is all that matters.

May I add that your quote......"Most girls on dating sites are quite normal" really IS pathetic in relation to LOS.

But, the blind will never see eh..........

[shadmo63]

OP said "...her dad guaranteed a bank loan for a friend in the amount of 4,000,000 THB and now the friend has vanished so her dad has to pay. He is a teacher..."

Helloooo, there is no part of her story that is believable. That's 33 years of teachers salary, assuming 10K/mth.

Only a school principal could (and would) possibly put that sort of money away.

You are on TV here because your intuition has already told you its Codswallop!! - Forget her, there are thousands of good honest girls to choose from.

[Eloelo]

I am looking for an investor for a diamond mine in Tasmania ,my dog died and the vet is chasing me for the euthanasia bill if I don't pay it they are coming after my cat, please can you help me..i am crying now and I await your response..

[Escape4]

Thanks all for your advice and feedback. A few more clarifications:

"A school teacher would normally be accepted as a guarantor or co-signer on such a loan. His position and job security makes it hugely likely the bank would accept him. What would normally happen is he would go to the bank, cry, plead, complain and finally make a payback deal of x baht per month - which he would have to sign for again. Shorter version: The story is credible. That has no bearing on whether it is true, or what the motives of this lady are or might be. No one here can know that any more than you do."

Well this is what I was wondering. Does not mean it's true, but perhaps it's possible. Although the amount is so big, the man must have had other assets for collateral, not only his salary? What the girl told me matches the "deal" you refer to: he now has part of his salary withheld to cover the loan... sounds like some kind of deal to me.

"Most online dating conversation leads to a need for money...most requests are laughable...entertaining...once they figure out...you are not buying into their scam...they will move on rather quickly..."

Well I will find out soon. If it's a scam, it is so bad because I have an easy excuse not to pay. In fact, there is an easy reason even for her not to help her dad, so it seems. It's like paying the bank, not paying her father?!

"Hey, OP> Don't be encouraged if she doesn't ask you for millions of baht. She's not a fool. She knows if she ask you for the whole amount, you'll disappear. Maybe you could just help out a little. Could you send 3,000 baht by Western Union? And then, again next week? And every week? Hey, it's only a hundred bucks for a rich falang. You can afford that! (Afterall, the other five guys sending her money every week or every month, don't seem to have any trouble affording it.). "

Just to clarify again, she has not asked for anything (yet?). She just told me the story. Maybe she is just doing so to see my reaction and obviously I did not offer anything, and I am even telling her that it might not be useful for her to help her dad.

") She is a professional scammer who has not presented you with all the cards, or the elements of the scam. By providing this kind of scenario would make a lot of sense for a professional scammer for many reasons, for example, if you offer to give money ("I do not have 4 million but I can give little money to help you"), it tells the scammer that you are valuable target."

That is plausible that I have not seen all the cards yet. But since I am on high alert, I am confident that I won't fall for anything as the new cards get played. Some of you guys have seen it all so I understand your point of view. But how many got scammed when they suspected a scam early on? I would assume most got scammed because they were blind in the first place?

"She isn't in Pattaya is she?"

No, family and herself are in Ubon.

"It's an obvious scam and, the fact you're ready to send her the money, you're just another sheep waiting to get fleeced."

I am not ready, in fact I am nowhere near ready because it would benefit the bank only. As someone else alluded to, there is probably a **** load of info I could possibly ask the dad if it ever got even close to the point where they want me to help.

Something else I did not mention in my original post. She told me she is separated and that the marriage was never "registered". I am not familiar with this registry thing. But then again, if your goal is to scam a guy, why on earth say you are married, then separated, but never registered? Why not just say you are single? Could she have Thai bf, or even husband? Maybe... But why even raise the doubts by telling me she was married before? It just sounds like the honest truth, at least on this point.

[transam]

She was not legally married, the monk thing wedding. NOW, ask how many kids she has being looked after by mum or gran.......................

[casualposter]

No, family and herself are in Ubon.

Something else I did not mention in my original post. She told me she is separated and that the marriage was never "registered". I am not familiar with this registry thing. But then again, if your goal is to scam a guy, why on earth say you are married, then separated, but never registered? Why not just say you are single? Could she have Thai bf, or even husband? Maybe... But why even raise the doubts by telling me she was married before? It just sounds like the honest truth, at least on this point.

I still think you should move on. It's so easy to find young, attractive girls with decent jobs and solvent families.

A major problem with your post is the word UBON. I'll let others on this forum explain the significance of that.

Edited May 5, 2014 by casualposter

[transam]

No, family and herself are in Ubon.

Something else I did not mention in my original post. She told me she is separated and that the marriage was never "registered". I am not familiar with this registry thing. But then again, if your goal is to scam a guy, why on earth say you are married, then separated, but never registered? Why not just say you are single? Could she have Thai bf, or even husband? Maybe... But why even raise the doubts by telling me she was married before? It just sounds like the honest truth, at least on this point.

I still think you should move on. It's so easy to find young, attractive girls with decent jobs and solvent families.

A major problem with your post is the word UBON. I'll let others on this forum explain the significance of that.

Tell me ?

[falkan]

"She isn't in Pattaya is she?"

No, family and herself are in Ubon.

hehe..

[khunPer]

»Something else I did not mention in my original post. She told me she is separated and that the marriage was never "registered". I am not familiar with this registry thing. But then again, if your goal is to scam a guy, why on earth say you are married, then separated, but never registered? Why not just say you are single? Could she have Thai bf, or even husband? Maybe... But why even raise the doubts by telling me she was married before? It just sounds like the honest truth, at least on this point.«

Married-not registered means a so-called “village marriage”; a legal marriage for the local village society, but not a legal marriage by National law. Easy to divorce or finish, you just leave. Many Thai ladies, or even young girls, from Isaan normally have been village married, would be more abnormal and mysterious if not. So by telling that, and that she finished the marriage, you should not be thinking too much – apart from if she “forgot” to tell about the outcome (child/children)…

You can read more about it in the book “Thailand Fever” I recommended in my earlier post, a descent book about Thai-foreign relationship – not at all about money and scams – worth (a must) reading anyway if you consider finding a Thai partner or moving to Thailand.

[BwindiBoy]

Please lock yourself in a room in your home country and never come out - it's your only hope!

[jack19201]

Scam or real Just try not to use sky pe girl will not talk to you just in case you are the person they tried before. Find out u r self by try to use different name but say u don't like use Skype that way u will get u r answer. These ladies do not like to talk without sky pe,you should rather give this sort of money to u r children.do not go softy on her tears,you do not know may be rest of the family having good times behind sky pe.take care my friend.

[Skint]

OP forget it, someone else is pumping her.

[kevvy]

Next topic you post will be "I JUST GOT SCAMMED"

[Gsxrnz]

Please lock yourself in a room in your home country and never come out - it's your only hope!

As he lives under a bridge he may find this rather difficult.

The trolls writing style is becoming over familiar in this forum.

[whooshbang]

OP, Perhaps she is sick of the sight of you and figures the mere mention of a 4m baht deficit enough to stop you skype'n and texting her.

Perhaps she has hatched this plan to get you out of her books for good?

Perhaps a blessing in disguise?

[Escape4]

"A major problem with your post is the word UBON. I'll let others on this forum explain the significance of that. "

Well can someone help me out here? What is the issue?

"Next topic you post will be "I JUST GOT SCAMMED""

No that's not the next topic... I promise if I am about to give money, which is very unlikely in this case, at the very least I will come here to tell you I will give money and why, to read about everybody telling me how stupid I am. LOL

[Berkshire]

"A major problem with your post is the word UBON. I'll let others on this forum explain the significance of that. "

Well can someone help me out here? What is the issue?

"Next topic you post will be "I JUST GOT SCAMMED""

No that's not the next topic... I promise if I am about to give money, which is very unlikely in this case, at the very least I will come here to tell you I will give money and why, to read about everybody telling me how stupid I am. LOL

It would be so easy for you or any other farang guy in the equation to avoid being fleeced in these type situations. Which is to convince the girl in question that you have no money. You're dirt poor. Broke. But of course, this is not an option. Because most farangs in your situation are trying to win over the girl with money. Dangling the carrot which is the promise of a better life with his "wealth." That's all he's got to offer. So the ultimate question is why would the guy be surprised when he finds out that she is in fact attracted to him for his money?? Believe me, you're not the only one I've asked.

[belg]

many buffalos in the park, one might be interested and that will be a good pay day for her & her family

[Escape4]

It would be so easy for you or any other farang guy in the equation to avoid being fleeced in these type situations. Which is to convince the girl in question that you have no money. You're dirt poor. Broke. But of course, this is not an option. Because most farangs in your situation are trying to win over the girl with money. Dangling the carrot which is the promise of a better life with his "wealth." That's all he's got to offer. So the ultimate question is why would the guy be surprised when he finds out that she is in fact attracted to him for his money?? Believe me, you're not the only one I've asked.

Well, I would rather not lie, but I am following some of the logic you are describing. She might have thought initially that I have money because I can afford the flight to Thailand and several nights in a nice hotel. However I told her that the trip is not costing me a dime. I travel quite a bit for work, so I have plenty of airline miles and hotel points. I am just using points and miles so I get free flight (almost), free hotel, and free food / drinks in the hotel.

Obviously this does not tell her that I have no money and that I am dirt poor, far from it. But at least I am not giving her any indication that I have money because I am not spending at all.

[loong]

It would be so easy for you or any other farang guy in the equation to avoid being fleeced in these type situations. Which is to convince the girl in question that you have no money. You're dirt poor. Broke. But of course, this is not an option. Because most farangs in your situation are trying to win over the girl with money. Dangling the carrot which is the promise of a better life with his "wealth." That's all he's got to offer. So the ultimate question is why would the guy be surprised when he finds out that she is in fact attracted to him for his money?? Believe me, you're not the only one I've asked.

Well, I would rather not lie, but I am following some of the logic you are describing. She might have thought initially that I have money because I can afford the flight to Thailand and several nights in a nice hotel. However I told her that the trip is not costing me a dime. I travel quite a bit for work, so I have plenty of airline miles and hotel points. I am just using points and miles so I get free flight (almost), free hotel, and free food / drinks in the hotel.

Obviously this does not tell her that I have no money and that I am dirt poor, far from it. But at least I am not giving her any indication that I have money because I am not spending at all.

With the majority of Thais, it doesn't matter what you tell them. They have pre-conceived ideas about westerners. Mainly that they are all rich. Tell them that you are not rich and they will not believe you.

I think that some people happily scam foreigners because they honestly believe that we have bank accounts that keep topping up automatically, no matter how much we spend and that we never have to actually work to earn and deposit that money.

[Thaiberius]

Given the opportunity and with the right mug, not all, but many Thai's will suck you dry intellectually, financially and emotionally. They are the rules if you let it happen.

[Berkshire]

It would be so easy for you or any other farang guy in the equation to avoid being fleeced in these type situations. Which is to convince the girl in question that you have no money. You're dirt poor. Broke. But of course, this is not an option. Because most farangs in your situation are trying to win over the girl with money. Dangling the carrot which is the promise of a better life with his "wealth." That's all he's got to offer. So the ultimate question is why would the guy be surprised when he finds out that she is in fact attracted to him for his money?? Believe me, you're not the only one I've asked.

Well, I would rather not lie, but I am following some of the logic you are describing. She might have thought initially that I have money because I can afford the flight to Thailand and several nights in a nice hotel. However I told her that the trip is not costing me a dime. I travel quite a bit for work, so I have plenty of airline miles and hotel points. I am just using points and miles so I get free flight (almost), free hotel, and free food / drinks in the hotel.

Obviously this does not tell her that I have no money and that I am dirt poor, far from it. But at least I am not giving her any indication that I have money because I am not spending at all.

With the majority of Thais, it doesn't matter what you tell them. They have pre-conceived ideas about westerners. Mainly that they are all rich. Tell them that you are not rich and they will not believe you.

I think that some people happily scam foreigners because they honestly believe that we have bank accounts that keep topping up automatically, no matter how much we spend and that we never have to actually work to earn and deposit that money.

I would agree that many Thais automatically assume that farangs are wealthy...although this is slowly changing as there are a good number of in-country farangs who are far from rich.

The point I was making to Mr. escape is that you almost have to lie at the outset (saying you have no money when you do is infinitely better than saying that you do, but really don't). To get a better understanding of farang/Thai dating in the Kingdom, note the following:

a. Most Thai girls do not believe that money is THE MOST important thing in a mate.

b. Most Thai girls chasing farangs do believe that money is important, if not the most important, thing in a mate.

So Thai girl Cat. A are not going to be chasing farangs....which is not to say that they wouldn't date a good farang guy if given the opportunity. They're just not going to be chasing farangs on dating sites and other tourist hang-outs. The OP most likely has a Cat. B Thai girl. Sorry to all for generalizing, but just trying to keep it simple.

[casualposter]

I would agree that many Thais automatically assume that farangs are wealthy...although this is slowly changing as there are a good number of in-country farangs who are far from rich.

To get a better understanding of farang/Thai dating in the Kingdom, note the following:

a. Most Thai girls do not believe that money is THE MOST important thing in a mate.

b. Most Thai girls chasing farangs do believe that money is important, if not the most important, thing in a mate.

So Thai girl Cat. A are not going to be chasing farangs....which is not to say that they wouldn't date a good farang guy if given the opportunity. They're just not going to be chasing farangs on dating sites and other tourist hang-outs. The OP most likely has a Cat. B Thai girl. Sorry to all for generalizing, but just trying to keep it simple.

No. Once again you're wrong.

I've noticed a fair bit of negativity on this forum when it comes to dating sites. I think a few guys have never tried online dating and simply don't know what they're talking about; I think too that some of the more overt negativity stems from insecurity.

When I talk about insecurity, I'm referring to men who give themselves an ego boost by claiming they've got a "real" girl because they live in Thailand, speak Thai and understand the local culture. What these guys resent is the way in which dating sites level the playing field. They resent the fact that a young, decent-looking guy can set up a free account on a dating site and within minutes start chatting to girls half their wife's age and much better looking.

Put another way, the more extreme negativity directed at dating sites is coming from men with older and less attractive wives. If these men were married to supermodels, they would have zero interest in online dating sites.

My experience

I met a handful of girls in BKK thanks to my free account with Thaifriendly. Half were looking for money (one actually wanted me to buy her an iPhone); half were normal.

I found these girls by searching for women aged 28-32. I picked out the ones who I found attractive and were university educated. I filtered out the runts (few things in Thailand are more ridiculous than the sight of farangs in the company of five foot midgets); I also deleted girls with farang exes.

I met one girl who'd been chatting to a Canadian for a whole year. She'd been planning to fly to Canada to meet him because, as the said, he was a mechanic and didn't have much money. In the end she discovered he had another girl in Canada. I had a few dates with her: she was 37, pretty and intelligent. I eventually decided she was too old.

My current GF contacted me because I do the same job as her (she'd read my profile) and wanted help with a design language called CSS. Money was not part of the equation. Obviously it was pure luck that she was the right age (32) and a university-educated Schwarzkopf model, but I think luck almost always plays a part in finding the right person.

Your problem, Mr Berkshire, is that you're prone to generalizing about things you have no experience of. This said, your posts are at least free of bitterness, stupidity and envy.

Edited May 8, 2014 by casualposter

[transam]

I would agree that many Thais automatically assume that farangs are wealthy...although this is slowly changing as there are a good number of in-country farangs who are far from rich.

To get a better understanding of farang/Thai dating in the Kingdom, note the following:

a. Most Thai girls do not believe that money is THE MOST important thing in a mate.

b. Most Thai girls chasing farangs do believe that money is important, if not the most important, thing in a mate.

So Thai girl Cat. A are not going to be chasing farangs....which is not to say that they wouldn't date a good farang guy if given the opportunity. They're just not going to be chasing farangs on dating sites and other tourist hang-outs. The OP most likely has a Cat. B Thai girl. Sorry to all for generalizing, but just trying to keep it simple.

No. Once again you're wrong.

I've noticed a fair bit of negativity on this forum when it comes to dating sites. I think a few guys have never tried online dating and simply don't know what they're talking about; I think too that some of the more overt negativity stems from insecurity.

When I talk about insecurity, I'm referring to men who give themselves an ego boost by claiming they've got a "real" girl because they live in Thailand, speak Thai and understand the local culture. What these guys resent is the way in which dating sites level the playing field. They resent the fact that a young, decent-looking guy can set up a free account on a dating site and within minutes start chatting to girls half their wife's age and much better looking.

Put another way, the more extreme negativity directed at dating sites is coming from men with older and less attractive wives. If these men were married to supermodels, they would have zero interest in online dating sites.

My experience

I met a handful of girls in BKK thanks to my free account with Thaifriendly. Half were looking for money (one actually wanted me to buy her an iPhone); half were normal.

I found these girls by searching for women aged 28-32. I picked out the ones who I found attractive and were university educated. I filtered out the runts (few things in Thailand are more ridiculous than the sight of farangs in the company of five foot midgets); I also deleted girls with farang exes.

I met one girl who'd been chatting to a Canadian for a whole year. She'd been planning to fly to Canada to meet him because, as the said, he was a mechanic and didn't have much money. In the end she discovered he had another girl in Canada. I had a few dates with her: she was 37, pretty and intelligent. I eventually decided she was too old.

My current GF contacted me because I do the same job as her (she'd read my profile) and wanted help with a design language called CSS. Money was not part of the equation. Obviously it was pure luck that she was the right age (32) and a university-educated Schwarzkopf model, but I think luck almost always plays a part in finding the right person.

Your problem, Mr Berkshire, is that you're prone to generalizing about things you have no experience of. This said, your posts are at least free of bitterness, stupidity and envy.

Well isn't it strange that I know ladies using these sites that are already married to FARANGS................

One is in her late 50's and has met a farang in LOS who is already married to a Thai............

[thaipod]

Think you need to get to know this girl more before believing what ever she tells you. there for you need to come here and see for your self and then judge what she really is up to. As for helping out steer clear as teachers with a small wage would never sign for a friend for the sum of 4 mill.