Advice needed- go back to Thailand or get partner to uk

[SarahN]

I'm not sure which forum this should go in because it covers so much...

Basically my Laos partner is living in Thailand with no visa, I came back to the uk from Thailand in November with our baby after my mum said she would sponsor him. I also had a problem with too many tourist visa stamps in my passport. Since returning my mum has denied saying she would help (even though it's in black and white in my inbox) and I don't meet the financial requirement to sponsor him myself.

I recently decided to move back to Thailand in the new year but with all the changes with the visas I'm worried either one of us or both of us will have to return to our home countries. I was working as a nanny and the same family have offered me a job in their hotel if I return. So unlikely that I would get a work permit but they said they would try if they could.

There's so many different options, all of them super expensive and with their own setbacks. Should we aim to marry in Thailand? Would this help with visas either in Thailand or uk? Or should I risk it and go back to Thailand on, perhaps, an ED visa? Will the changes in ASEAN affect my partner? Is there a more permanent visa he can get to give him a bit more stability?

Our son has British citizenship, as he was born in Thailand can he get Thai also? And would this give me and his dad any more rights to be in the country?

I can't see a way out of this predicament, our son is too small to understand any of it now but I really hope something is sorted out before he gets to the age where he asks why his dad is only available on Skype!

[Mario2008]

Your child has no right to Thai nationality, only the child of a Thai national has Thai nationality.

I can't see any reason for the both of you to stay longtime in Thailand and I guess money is a problem. otherwise an ED-visa at around 30,000 a year might be a solution for your boy friend.

[Paul888]

Is staying together in Laos not an option? If not, what about exploring options in other neighbouring countries? With neither of you having any form of tie to Thailand, I don't imagine any option would be easy.

[SarahN]

Is staying together in Laos not an option? If not, what about exploring options in other neighbouring countries? With neither of you having any form of tie to Thailand, I don't imagine any option would be easy.

To live in Laos we would have to be married or expect huge fines from the police and/or imprisonment/ deportation.

I really don't know what the answer is to this. I hope I can get some advice from someone who has been in a similar situation.

[a99az]

Firstly nether of you have any reason to be in Thailand so start to think about your options.

My first option would be to find work in the EU, but not the UK or Gibraltar.

Then once I had done this I would go to my spouse's home country and marry and apply for a FREE Schengen visa to take him with me to the EU where he then could apply for a Residents card (5year card) this would be issued in 90 days. Then apply for his family permit from the British embassy so he can travel with you to the UK.

Many Brits do this and work in Southern Ireland as its easy for language and near to the UK.

Downside it takes about 14 weeks in all to do.

Upside Permits and res cards visa's are free, and you can work until you can enter the UK where the partner can then get a 5 year British residents card.

NOTE: when you all return to the UK you will need to have a place to stay and work or help to settle if you have a place now try to hold on to it if you can for your return. You might have to show that you intend to stay and become a habitual resident again, don't treat this lightly get stuck in and register with doctors and library clubs the works. This works well we did it. Good luck.

How old is you child and do you have someone you could leave him with as this would help, remember its only for a short time.

I should also add you don't have to marry to do this but you would need to show you are partners (show a document to this effect) Marriage is the easy way.

Edited May 26, 2014 by a99az

[SarahN]

Firstly nether of you have any reason to be in Thailand so start to think about your options.

My first option would be to find work in the EU, but not the UK or Gibraltar.

Then once I had done this I would go to my spouse's home country and marry and apply for a FREE Schengen visa to take him with me to the EU where he then could apply for a Residents card (5year card) this would be issued in 90 days. Then apply for his family permit from the British embassy so he can travel with you to the UK.

Many Brits do this and work in Southern Ireland as its easy for language and near to the UK.

Downside it takes about 14 weeks in all to do.

Upside Permits and res cards visa's are free, and you can work until you can enter the UK where the partner can then get a 5 year British residents card.

NOTE: when you all return to the UK you will need to have a place to stay and work or help to settle if you have a place now try to hold on to it if you can for your return. You might have to show that you intend to stay and become a habitual resident again, don't treat this lightly get stuck in and register with doctors and library clubs the works. This works well we did it. Good luck.

How old is you child and do you have someone you could leave him with as this would help, remember its only for a short time.

I should also add you don't have to marry to do this but you would need to show you are partners (show a document to this effect) Marriage is the easy way.

Ok this sounds like something I can do. What are the requirements for schengen visa? And what are the chances of him being granted the residents card and family permit? I've been looking into visas etc for a few months and all of this you've mentioned is completely new to me.

Will he be allowed to work if/when he gets to the uk? Do we both need job offers to come back to, or just me? Or show savings?

We won't be able to go to Laos to marry, far too expensive to pay all the necessary people, our relationship is illegal in Laos and we can't afford to pay them to turn a blind eye.

Baby is one next month, I think too young to leave, not that I have anyone I could leave him with anyway. I am a qualified nanny, chances are I can find a job where I can take him to work with me.

What was the cost of all of this for you? And how long ago did you do it? Is there a chance he could get all the way to Europe to be denied the next step of the process and have to go back to Laos?

I've just had a look on the gov.uk site, it says a family permit is only allowed to people joining members of the EEA but NOT the uk. Is there a way round this?

Edited May 26, 2014 by SarahN

[apiwan]

I'm confused . You say your child has a British passport and you are British .

So where does the sponsorship come in.?

Not having a go.

Just want to know.

I thought anyone with a British passport could just come here. No need to do anything .

Thanks

Sent from my SM-N9005 using Thaivisa Connect Thailand mobile app

[Skint]

Firstly nether of you have any reason to be in Thailand so start to think about your options.

My first option would be to find work in the EU, but not the UK or Gibraltar.

Then once I had done this I would go to my spouse's home country and marry and apply for a FREE Schengen visa to take him with me to the EU where he then could apply for a Residents card (5year card) this would be issued in 90 days. Then apply for his family permit from the British embassy so he can travel with you to the UK.

Many Brits do this and work in Southern Ireland as its easy for language and near to the UK.

Downside it takes about 14 weeks in all to do.

Upside Permits and res cards visa's are free, and you can work until you can enter the UK where the partner can then get a 5 year British residents card.

NOTE: when you all return to the UK you will need to have a place to stay and work or help to settle if you have a place now try to hold on to it if you can for your return. You might have to show that you intend to stay and become a habitual resident again, don't treat this lightly get stuck in and register with doctors and library clubs the works. This works well we did it. Good luck.

How old is you child and do you have someone you could leave him with as this would help, remember its only for a short time.

I should also add you don't have to marry to do this but you would need to show you are partners (show a document to this effect) Marriage is the easy way.

Ok this sounds like something I can do. What are the requirements for schengen visa? And what are the chances of him being granted the residents card and family permit? I've been looking into visas etc for a few months and all of this you've mentioned is completely new to me.

Will he be allowed to work if/when he gets to the uk? Do we both need job offers to come back to, or just me? Or show savings?

We won't be able to go to Laos to marry, far too expensive to pay all the necessary people, our relationship is illegal in Laos and we can't afford to pay them to turn a blind eye.

Baby is one next month, I think too young to leave, not that I have anyone I could leave him with anyway. I am a qualified nanny, chances are I can find a job where I can take him to work with me.

What was the cost of all of this for you? And how long ago did you do it? Is there a chance he could get all the way to Europe to be denied the next step of the process and have to go back to Laos?

I've just had a look on the gov.uk site, it says a family permit is only allowed to people joining members of the EEA but NOT the uk. Is there a way round this?

I can't see how this scenario would work, I would head back to uk and send your partner back to Lao, get a job and then look at getting him over on a marriage visa. Incase you haven't noticed everywhere is cracking down on sham visas and given your not married is a big issue.

[SarahN]

I'm confused . You say your child has a British passport and you are British .

So where does the sponsorship come in.?

Not having a go.

Just want to know.

I thought anyone with a British passport could just come here. No need to do anything .

Thanks

Sent from my SM-N9005 using Thaivisa Connect Thailand mobile app

I am already in the uk with my child, it's my Laos partner I need to get over here.

[ubonjoe]

The first thing that needs to be done is to get your partners status in Thailand sorted out. To do that he will have to go back Laos and get a passport and then legally enter Thailand. His status is a big obstacle to doing anything here.

Or he could go back to Laos and get a passport and apply for the visa for the UK at the embassy in Vientiane.

[Strangebrew]

Or you could use the ask a lawyer forum here and see what can and cannot be done.

[Maroon Watcher]

...then go to UK/EU and look for work - get work promised then Exit, as with all countries.

If you are happier in warmer weather concentrate on Europe for jobs.

Europe is 'open movement' as we know to our detriment -

so you can also move around EU for work. (Even seasonal)

Good grandparents may be needed for temporary situations

One place to look for "Married couple" jobs is Jobsabroad.com

Once you established and have savings - you can then try the same for Thailand (If you want to come back)

I know couples with children who teach around the world

Get a (Quality) TEFL and Teach, with spouse visa...

And even a Part-time degree?

If you teach in the UK - you will get far better paid than Thailand.

The first thing that needs to be done is to get your partners status in Thailand sorted out. To do that he will have to go back Laos and get a passport and then legally enter Thailand. His status is a big obstacle to doing anything here.

Or he could go back to Laos and get a passport and apply for the visa for the UK at the embassy in Vientiane.

[easybullet3]

for me,, I dont understand the problem about your worry to stay in Thailand.

you have a FEW options to stay in Thailand:

you already have lots of the back-2-back FREE visas,,,

but,, do you have many (or any) of the paid "60 Day Tourist Visas"? (Stickers in your passport) ?

if your answer is "Yes", then count the amount of Entries you already had (in your stickers)... ie: if it is a single 60 days entry,, (thats ONE entry)... if your sticker has "2" entries (then its Two).

add up the total of your 60 day entries. - if its MORE Than about 4 or 5, then GET A NEW PASSPORT for yourself. and apply for a 60 days tourist visa (with TWO ENTRIES) by post from the thai consulate in the UK. - Thai immigration will Honor all your 60 day visas.

after your 1st set of 60 days has expired, you go to a Thai Immigration Centre at any major city in Thailand and you get it extended another 30 days (for 1900 baht).

and then you do a border run after the 30 days has run out and you activate the 2nd entry of your tourist visa (and the whole process starts again).

This will give you a total of 6 months in Thailand.

(be sure to activate the 2nd entry of your tourist visa BEFORE the visa EXPIRES!!!!!!!)

when your 6 months is up,, you simply go to Vientiane (in Laos) Thai Embassy and apple for the SAME THING AGAIN!!!! (a double entry tourist visa). SIMPLE !!!!

The lady at Immigration PERSONALLY TOLD ME that they only check the Tourist Visas in your Passport. THEY do not care about how many you had on the computer.

and after about 4 or 5 entries, they get more difficult... so you need a new passport again.

personally,, I would do this method,, and then get an Education Visa while you are out here... (you can find some schools are as cheap as 23,000 baht per year) for a couple of hours thai study per week. (but you have to pay 1900 every 3 months to immigration to UPDATE the visa)... (coz the Education Visa is actually a 3 month Visa which is Extendable to 1 year)... dont believe schools that guarantee a full 1 year!!! - in reality its 3 months x 4.

its only the FREE visas that has had this new Crackdown.

60 day Tourist Visas are unchanged.

- they just want to force everyone to PAY for their visa (as its a good money spinner for them!)

about your Boyfriend (fiancee).

you said he is in Thailand WITHOUT a VISA... so he is in illegal alien (status) ???

so he is risking Jail if he ever gets caught by thai police!!! he could end up in a really bad refugee camp very far away from any city.

or did you mean that he is here on a holiday visa?

if he tries to go back to his country, he could risk getting arrested at the EXIT immigration.

i have no idea how to advice in this matter.

when the ASEAN Community comes to effect next year,,, THEORETICALLY he can live and work in Thailand (just as UK nationals can live and work anywhere in europe).

BUT: Thailand has not yet announced their plans... maybe they delay this rule.. or maybe they stagger it. so its unclear exactly if neighboring countries can reside and work in thailand as of next year. you need to do your own research about that.

About your Future and Marriage:
it really depends on you and him.

Some marriages last forever,, and some last a few years. (Seeing that about 30% + of marriages end in DIvorce,,, and an even higher rate of inter-racial (Different countries) marriages end in Divorce.. (then you may want to think hard about WHERE you will get married).

for someone that wants to protect their personal savings or finances or future estates, then you would choose to marry in UK or Laos or Thailand depending on which is better for you.

in the UK you will have to give up to half of your estate/savings away.

in thailand and laos, its harder for them to get your assets in the UK.. (if you have any).

apart from that, I cant see much difference... (so if money is involved, the court in the UK will be more stern and strict).

PS: if your boyfriend is illegally staying in thailand,, then he CAN NOT OFFICIALLY REGISTER HIS NAME for your marriage in thailand!!! as he is illegally here... !!

i cant see any issue on getting married in laos.

it will be cheap and fun and cheerful

PLUS,, you can also get REMARRIED in the UK in the future if you see fit.

PLEASE CHECK MY MARRIAGE ADVICE WITH A LEGAL OFFICE IN THAILAND and LAOS...

you can find many phone numbers online... call them on skype and ask advice... (you will find that many legal offices are helpful enough to give a few minutes of free advice by phone).

about your mum.

she really did that?

she offered to pay for you guys,, and then UPON ARRIVAL did not pay for you guys?

ok,.,, so,, if your mum hard up for cash? or was it just a trick to get you back to the UK ?

if your mum is hard to pay for you and your kid,, then i am sure you can get income benefits,, child allowance,, and housing benefit.

if you come to thailand,, you will loose the housing benefit.. and you will lose the income support (after a month or two)... but you will probably keep the child benefit (if you dont report that you went to Thaialnd!!)

the worst that could happen is that they write letters to you,, and you didnt come to a meeting in the UK,, so they stop your benefits and child allowance. thats about all.

if they complain they overpaid you, you can just ignore it..

(bad advice,, but it will work coz I know a few that did this already!! Lol)

anyway,, good luck for you and your husband and your kid.

if it does ever fall apart,,, please make sure your kid still gets to talk with the dad.

every kid in the world wants to know their mum and dad.

in south east asia, they have a habit of COMPLETELY CUTTING CONTACT. (so try not to fall into this bracket).

[Mario2008]

The AEC will not give a right to work in other member states. Only for a very few limited jobs will it be easier to get the paperwork in orde, but there is no right of fredom of travel or work within the AEC for naitonals of the member states.

[davidmann]

Is staying together in Laos not an option? If not, what about exploring options in other neighbouring countries? With neither of you having any form of tie to Thailand, I don't imagine any option would be easy.

To live in Laos we would have to be married or expect huge fines from the police and/or imprisonment/ deportation.

I really don't know what the answer is to this. I hope I can get some advice from someone who has been in a similar situation.

WELL GET MARRIED ,be start stay In Laos ,for sure if you got money you can stay where you like ,you need 18,000 pounds a year income for the UK ,Talk with a visa agent ,but again you will need money and a lot

[Swiss1960]

"There's so many different options, all of them super expensive and with their own setbacks."

I don't think you have so many different options, the only option for the two (three) of you is to

- clear the legal situation of your partner, which probably means he must go back to Lao

- marry him in Lao, since you will not be able to get married to him in Thailand due to his illegal situaiton (he would probably be arrested in the Amphoe)

- you can't get him into Europe (no matter which country) without being legally married to him, without him having all the necessary paperwork

Of course, if the only thing you want to do is be with him (and forget about marriage or future plans), then you can try to get a non-imm B for working legally in Thailand or get an Education Visa for legally staying in Thailand but will need money for living... but those options will not give you anything with regards to your future with your partner.

[thejcb]

Is staying together in Laos not an option? If not, what about exploring options in other neighbouring countries? With neither of you having any form of tie to Thailand, I don't imagine any option would be easy.

To live in Laos we would have to be married or expect huge fines from the police and/or imprisonment/ deportation.

I really don't know what the answer is to this. I hope I can get some advice from someone who has been in a similar situation.

Marry him, you have a sprog together, you want to be together, so marry the poor sod for the sprogs sake if nothing else. Then you can stay in Laos.

[jacko45k]

Is staying together in Laos not an option? If not, what about exploring options in other neighbouring countries? With neither of you having any form of tie to Thailand, I don't imagine any option would be easy.

To live in Laos we would have to be married or expect huge fines from the police and/or imprisonment/ deportation.

I really don't know what the answer is to this. I hope I can get some advice from someone who has been in a similar situation.

Then get married.

You already had a child and sound committed to the man.

Get your act together.

[rct99q]

You have been given lots of information here sound of it sound. Have a look at your needs though. You have a one year old baby to look after. I do too. The welfare of your child should come first. If it all possible stay where you are and start establishing roots and a home for your child. You are the parent not your Mother.

** As for the Father.......I have a funny feeling about this but he needs to do the same thing....get his affairs in order. Go back to Lao, get proper documentation, get a job (good paying if he is qualified), start getting information on how he can get into the UK (posters have given some options on this). Getting married in Laos as you know is quite complicated, but not impossible. I get the feeling you or your spouse do not or are unable to obtain all the correct documentation to get married and this is proving to be the main problem. **

Thailand is not your answer, in fact you may be creating more problems for you and your baby by attempting to move here. Think about hospital care, major medical emergencies, school? etc.. you will not be able to gt a work permit, in my opinion, and your husband is an illegal alien!

For the sake of your baby stay in UK, get the father to sort out his own problems... it will be far easier for him to sort out everything he needs from Laos as there are many agencies that deal with this matter everyday.

[rct99q]

Is staying together in Laos not an option? If not, what about exploring options in other neighbouring countries? With neither of you having any form of tie to Thailand, I don't imagine any option would be easy.

To live in Laos we would have to be married or expect huge fines from the police and/or imprisonment/ deportation.

I really don't know what the answer is to this. I hope I can get some advice from someone who has been in a similar situation.

Then get married.

You already had a child and sound committed to the man.

Get your act together.

Not sure if you are aware of the difficulties of getting married to a Laos person, I assume you are not by your comment. It is a very difficult process that requires very specific and hard to obtain legal documents (for most Laos citizens marrying a foreigner). So it is not as easy as you say...just get married....

[allanos]

A lot of sound and useful advice has been posted on this Forum for your consideration. Whichever course of action you choose to take, it WILL NOT BE EASY. And if you are looking for a sure-fire, cast iron, guaranteed risk-free option, it does not exist! There will be pitfalls in whatever direction you decide to take.

At this stage, I believe that your mind will be reeling! Therefore, my advice is for you to sit down, and then write down, or tabulate on your computer, all of the various options which seem open to you. Weigh up the pros and cons of each one, bearing in mind your personal situation and the diverse emotional inputs which you have.

Summarise each group of those options which you have in front of you, and try, as far as possible, to "dispassionately" focus on each one to determine which option is the most practical, i.e. the most do-able. Then GO FOR IT!

And . . . good luck!

[SarahN]

A lot of sound and useful advice has been posted on this Forum for your consideration. Whichever course of action you choose to take, it WILL NOT BE EASY. And if you are looking for a sure-fire, cast iron, guaranteed risk-free option, it does not exist! There will be pitfalls in whatever direction you decide to take.

At this stage, I believe that your mind will be reeling! Therefore, my advice is for you to sit down, and then write down, or tabulate on your computer, all of the various options which seem open to you. Weigh up the pros and cons of each one, bearing in mind your personal situation and the diverse emotional inputs which you have.

Summarise each group of those options which you have in front of you, and try, as far as possible, to "dispassionately" focus on each one to determine which option is the most practical, i.e. the most do-able. Then GO FOR IT!

And . . . good luck!

Yes. I think that is the main problem, not knowing which route to take. Your advice is very good, I need to look at each option separately before I go any further. None of them seem at all do-able at the moment, each one has a big barrier in one form or another. Money mainly plus lack of support from my family. But I'm positive there is a way.

I wish it was as easy as "getting my act together and marrying the poor sod!"

[Beetlejuice]

Firstly nether of you have any reason to be in Thailand so start to think about your options.

My first option would be to find work in the EU, but not the UK or Gibraltar.

Then once I had done this I would go to my spouse's home country and marry and apply for a FREE Schengen visa to take him with me to the EU where he then could apply for a Residents card (5year card) this would be issued in 90 days. Then apply for his family permit from the British embassy so he can travel with you to the UK.

Many Brits do this and work in Southern Ireland as its easy for language and near to the UK.

Downside it takes about 14 weeks in all to do.

Upside Permits and res cards visa's are free, and you can work until you can enter the UK where the partner can then get a 5 year British residents card.

NOTE: when you all return to the UK you will need to have a place to stay and work or help to settle if you have a place now try to hold on to it if you can for your return. You might have to show that you intend to stay and become a habitual resident again, don't treat this lightly get stuck in and register with doctors and library clubs the works. This works well we did it. Good luck.

How old is you child and do you have someone you could leave him with as this would help, remember its only for a short time.

I should also add you don't have to marry to do this but you would need to show you are partners (show a document to this effect) Marriage is the easy way.

Ok this sounds like something I can do. What are the requirements for schengen visa? And what are the chances of him being granted the residents card and family permit? I've been looking into visas etc for a few months and all of this you've mentioned is completely new to me.

Will he be allowed to work if/when he gets to the uk? Do we both need job offers to come back to, or just me? Or show savings?

We won't be able to go to Laos to marry, far too expensive to pay all the necessary people, our relationship is illegal in Laos and we can't afford to pay them to turn a blind eye.

Baby is one next month, I think too young to leave, not that I have anyone I could leave him with anyway. I am a qualified nanny, chances are I can find a job where I can take him to work with me.

What was the cost of all of this for you? And how long ago did you do it? Is there a chance he could get all the way to Europe to be denied the next step of the process and have to go back to Laos?

I've just had a look on the gov.uk site, it says a family permit is only allowed to people joining members of the EEA but NOT the uk. Is there a way round this?

To be absolutely frank, with your present situation your partner has not a chance of being able to legally remain in Thailand or being able to join you in the UK or anywhere else.

Although some may disagree, the bottom line is it`s all about assets and money. I have seen many, many cases like yours over the years and I have to say a lot of these couples go into these sorts of relationships without any planning, with little means of being able to set up home together and when there is children involved, that is pure irresponsibility and thoughtlessness. Ever heard of contraception and safe sex practices?

Firstly, you could return to Laos with your partner and get officially married and have the marriage certified at a British Embassy. If considering returning to the UK in the hope of getting your partner over to join you as your husband, you will need to convince the FCO that you have a secure permanent full time job or business in the UK, plus suitable accommodation for you, your partner and your child. Although the UK authorities will not admit it, this is all about convincing them that your family will not be claiming benefits and becoming a burden to the UK taxpayers in the foreseeable future. This is the initial process and hurdle, then once your husband has progressed to obtaining either a permanent stay visa for the UK or British citizenship, than your family will be given a free hand to live in the UK under the same rules and conditions as all other UK citizens.

So I ask; what is the present situation regarding your employment and financial position in the UK and do you have an independent home suitable enough to accommodate yourself and family? If not, than I suggest that you start setting everything up by the processes I have mentioned above if you are really serious regarding having a future with your present Skype partner as you describe him.

The short answer is, there are no easy or quick solutions to your problem, this is a burden you have placed on yourselves and even if it takes a couple of years to archive being together as a proper family, then the sooner you start making constructive efforts and decisions, the better. Get me rounds and short answers will not improve matters in the long term

Edited May 27, 2014 by Beetlejuice

[SarahN]

for me,, I dont understand the problem about your worry to stay in Thailand.

you have a FEW options to stay in Thailand:

you already have lots of the back-2-back FREE visas,,,

but,, do you have many (or any) of the paid "60 Day Tourist Visas"? (Stickers in your passport) ?

if your answer is "Yes", then count the amount of Entries you already had (in your stickers)... ie: if it is a single 60 days entry,, (thats ONE entry)... if your sticker has "2" entries (then its Two).

add up the total of your 60 day entries. - if its MORE Than about 4 or 5, then GET A NEW PASSPORT for yourself. and apply for a 60 days tourist visa (with TWO ENTRIES) by post from the thai consulate in the UK. - Thai immigration will Honor all your 60 day visas.

after your 1st set of 60 days has expired, you go to a Thai Immigration Centre at any major city in Thailand and you get it extended another 30 days (for 1900 baht).

and then you do a border run after the 30 days has run out and you activate the 2nd entry of your tourist visa (and the whole process starts again).

This will give you a total of 6 months in Thailand.

(be sure to activate the 2nd entry of your tourist visa BEFORE the visa EXPIRES!!!!!!!)

when your 6 months is up,, you simply go to Vientiane (in Laos) Thai Embassy and apple for the SAME THING AGAIN!!!! (a double entry tourist visa). SIMPLE !!!!

The lady at Immigration PERSONALLY TOLD ME that they only check the Tourist Visas in your Passport. THEY do not care about how many you had on the computer.

and after about 4 or 5 entries, they get more difficult... so you need a new passport again.

personally,, I would do this method,, and then get an Education Visa while you are out here... (you can find some schools are as cheap as 23,000 baht per year) for a couple of hours thai study per week. (but you have to pay 1900 every 3 months to immigration to UPDATE the visa)... (coz the Education Visa is actually a 3 month Visa which is Extendable to 1 year)... dont believe schools that guarantee a full 1 year!!! - in reality its 3 months x 4.

its only the FREE visas that has had this new Crackdown.

60 day Tourist Visas are unchanged.

- they just want to force everyone to PAY for their visa (as its a good money spinner for them!)

about your Boyfriend (fiancee).

you said he is in Thailand WITHOUT a VISA... so he is in illegal alien (status) ???

so he is risking Jail if he ever gets caught by thai police!!! he could end up in a really bad refugee camp very far away from any city.

or did you mean that he is here on a holiday visa?

if he tries to go back to his country, he could risk getting arrested at the EXIT immigration.

i have no idea how to advice in this matter.

when the ASEAN Community comes to effect next year,,, THEORETICALLY he can live and work in Thailand (just as UK nationals can live and work anywhere in europe).

BUT: Thailand has not yet announced their plans... maybe they delay this rule.. or maybe they stagger it. so its unclear exactly if neighboring countries can reside and work in thailand as of next year. you need to do your own research about that.

About your Future and Marriage:

it really depends on you and him.

Some marriages last forever,, and some last a few years. (Seeing that about 30% + of marriages end in DIvorce,,, and an even higher rate of inter-racial (Different countries) marriages end in Divorce.. (then you may want to think hard about WHERE you will get married).

for someone that wants to protect their personal savings or finances or future estates, then you would choose to marry in UK or Laos or Thailand depending on which is better for you.

in the UK you will have to give up to half of your estate/savings away.

in thailand and laos, its harder for them to get your assets in the UK.. (if you have any).

apart from that, I cant see much difference... (so if money is involved, the court in the UK will be more stern and strict).

PS: if your boyfriend is illegally staying in thailand,, then he CAN NOT OFFICIALLY REGISTER HIS NAME for your marriage in thailand!!! as he is illegally here... !!

i cant see any issue on getting married in laos.

it will be cheap and fun and cheerful

PLUS,, you can also get REMARRIED in the UK in the future if you see fit.

PLEASE CHECK MY MARRIAGE ADVICE WITH A LEGAL OFFICE IN THAILAND and LAOS...

you can find many phone numbers online... call them on skype and ask advice... (you will find that many legal offices are helpful enough to give a few minutes of free advice by phone).

about your mum.

she really did that?

she offered to pay for you guys,, and then UPON ARRIVAL did not pay for you guys?

ok,.,, so,, if your mum hard up for cash? or was it just a trick to get you back to the UK ?

if your mum is hard to pay for you and your kid,, then i am sure you can get income benefits,, child allowance,, and housing benefit.

if you come to thailand,, you will loose the housing benefit.. and you will lose the income support (after a month or two)... but you will probably keep the child benefit (if you dont report that you went to Thaialnd!!)

the worst that could happen is that they write letters to you,, and you didnt come to a meeting in the UK,, so they stop your benefits and child allowance. thats about all.

if they complain they overpaid you, you can just ignore it..

(bad advice,, but it will work coz I know a few that did this already!! Lol)

anyway,, good luck for you and your husband and your kid.

if it does ever fall apart,,, please make sure your kid still gets to talk with the dad.

every kid in the world wants to know their mum and dad.

in south east asia, they have a habit of COMPLETELY CUTTING CONTACT. (so try not to fall into this bracket).

I already had a year of visas from Vientiane/penang. No free 30 day visas, all double or single entry. This is what they gave me a red stamp for. And my mum, she didn't offer to pay anything for me, I'm able to do that, she offered to sponsor my partner for his visa to come to the uk, a ploy to get me home by saying she will get him here too and now I'm here I'm stuck.

[friendoken]

I am married to a Lao girl and have lived in Laos since 2006. I don't see why you want to get your guy to the UK. Go to Laos, get married. It takes time, 6 months to a year, and can cost several hundred to $1000. Hire a lawyer, he or she will do all the footwork and it will save time and money.

In the meantime, go to the guy's village. Hopefully he's on good terms with the Naiban. If he is, bring over a bottle of Johnny Walker Black and explain the situation to the Naiban. If he gives the okay for you to live together because the paperwork for marriage has been started, it is highly unlikely the police will hassle you.

The police need to get the Naiban's permission to mess around in his village. He's a powerful man.

I have a friend who is doing this right now. If the Naiban gives his okay you are good to go.

Laos is a great country. You could be a nanny there easy. The economy is growing and you guys could do well.

[allanos]

The posts which are pontificating or judgemental are not helpful to you in the slightest! What's done is done, whatever the rights and wrongs of it all. All you can now do is formulate the best possible plan, according to the "raw materials" you have to work with. You have mentioned that finances are a stumbling block. With this in mind, is your "partner" work-qualified in any way? Does he have work in Thailand (even if he does not have a suitable visa)? Would his work prospects be better if he returned to Laos? And is he able in any way to contribute financially to this venture, or is the financial burden all yours to bear?

It would seem to be that you both need to take a bit of a "breather" at the moment, and understand that you may not be able to be together in the very short term, whilst you assemble the necessary finances in order to be able to take the next, logical step.

[SarahN]

Firstly nether of you have any reason to be in Thailand so start to think about your options.

My first option would be to find work in the EU, but not the UK or Gibraltar.

Then once I had done this I would go to my spouse's home country and marry and apply for a FREE Schengen visa to take him with me to the EU where he then could apply for a Residents card (5year card) this would be issued in 90 days. Then apply for his family permit from the British embassy so he can travel with you to the UK.

Many Brits do this and work in Southern Ireland as its easy for language and near to the UK.

Downside it takes about 14 weeks in all to do.

Upside Permits and res cards visa's are free, and you can work until you can enter the UK where the partner can then get a 5 year British residents card.

NOTE: when you all return to the UK you will need to have a place to stay and work or help to settle if you have a place now try to hold on to it if you can for your return. You might have to show that you intend to stay and become a habitual resident again, don't treat this lightly get stuck in and register with doctors and library clubs the works. This works well we did it. Good luck.

How old is you child and do you have someone you could leave him with as this would help, remember its only for a short time.

I should also add you don't have to marry to do this but you would need to show you are partners (show a document to this effect) Marriage is the easy way.

Ok this sounds like something I can do. What are the requirements for schengen visa? And what are the chances of him being granted the residents card and family permit? I've been looking into visas etc for a few months and all of this you've mentioned is completely new to me.

Will he be allowed to work if/when he gets to the uk? Do we both need job offers to come back to, or just me? Or show savings?

We won't be able to go to Laos to marry, far too expensive to pay all the necessary people, our relationship is illegal in Laos and we can't afford to pay them to turn a blind eye.

Baby is one next month, I think too young to leave, not that I have anyone I could leave him with anyway. I am a qualified nanny, chances are I can find a job where I can take him to work with me.

What was the cost of all of this for you? And how long ago did you do it? Is there a chance he could get all the way to Europe to be denied the next step of the process and have to go back to Laos?

I've just had a look on the gov.uk site, it says a family permit is only allowed to people joining members of the EEA but NOT the uk. Is there a way round this?

To be absolutely frank, with your present situation your partner has not a chance of being able to legally remain in Thailand or being able to join you in the UK or anywhere else.

Although some may disagree, the bottom line is it`s all about assets and money. I have seen many, many cases like yours over the years and I have to say a lot of these couples go into these sorts of relationships without any planning, with little means of being able to set up home together and when there is children involved, that is pure irresponsibility and thoughtlessness. Ever heard of contraception and safe sex practices?

Firstly, you could return to Laos with your partner and get officially married and have the marriage certified at a British Embassy. If considering returning to the UK in the hope of getting your partner over to join you as your husband, you will need to convince the FCO that you have a secure permanent full time job or business in the UK, plus suitable accommodation for you, your partner and your child. Although the UK authorities will not admit it, this is all about convincing them that your family will not be claiming benefits and becoming a burden to the UK taxpayers in the foreseeable future. This is the initial process and hurdle, then once your husband has progressed to obtaining either a permanent stay visa for the UK or British citizenship, than your family will be given a free hand to live in the UK under the same rules and conditions as all other UK citizens.

So I ask; what is the present situation regarding your employment and financial position in the UK and do you have an independent home suitable enough to accommodate yourself and family? If not, than I suggest that you start setting everything up by the processes I have mentioned above if you are really serious regarding having a future with your present Skype partner as you describe him.

The short answer is, there are no easy or quick solutions to your problem, this is a burden you have placed on yourselves and even if it takes a couple of years to archive being together as a proper family, then the sooner you start making constructive efforts and decisions, the better. Get me rounds and short answers will not improve matters in the long term

Yes it was completely unplanned from day one and little or no thought went into it. Which we are now paying for emotionally. I obviously want the best for our son, to me this is having us all together as a family, which at the moment would mean going back to Thailand. Boyfriend can arrange visa fairly easily although only a tourist visa for now. I am looking for a quick solution which I am aware probably doesn't exist, but I'm still going to look. At present I am unemployed, I am able to go back to work but to pay someone else to look after my child while I go to work and look after someone else's child (I'm a nanny) for less money than I'm getting now seems completely pointless. As for assets etc, nothing. I have told my boyfriend he needs to be in Laos for the time being, to arrange documents and be with his family as he is getting depressed, but he's not keen on the idea. For a long term plan rather than an instant solution, a degree, job mortgage is going to be a way to solve a few problems, but until then I'm struggling with a child on my own with little or no support from my family who won't even acknowledge that my child has a father.

[ubonjoe]

I have removed a abusive and unhelpful post and another one suggesting an illegal action.

[Lancashirelad]

Sarah I suggest you send a PM to Friendoken (post #25). It appears he could be very useful to you given his knowledge of procedure in Laos.

[rct99q]

I realize you want to be together as a family. I too have a child of my own. And it is not easy to raise one here (thailand) without some assets. That is why I strongly encourage you to stay where you are. You have a safety net (although not as good as it was) but 100% better then here (Thailand or Laos).

You say working as a nanny and then paying for child care is pointless!! It is not pointless. You will show work history, pay income tax, show you are responsible, and provides links for networking that may get better paying jobs in the future. It is not the "easy" life of being in Thailand...yada, yada, yada.

I have three jobs here and looking to return back to the West because I have a family to support. I am legally married with a visa. Don't believe that all your worries will be fixed just because you can fix up a few temporary visa that may get you 9 months to a year of living in Thailand or Laos.

To the poster who suggests returning to Laos......sorry this is probably the worst advice you could give a single parent. I live in Nong Khai and the number of Laos residents streaming over the border for the simplest of medical care is endless. There is very little service for a major emergency for an infant in Laos (that is affordable) and it sounds like you will have no money.

It would be reckless for you to return to this area of the world with a 1 year old (my child is also 1 year old). If you can somehow find a relative to leave the child with in the UK and come by yourself....then I would say go for it.

This is all part of being a parent..........guess what.........you have another 60 or 70 years to go (you have them for life, you know).