good friend cheated by lady-what should/could be done?

[Hermes100]

My cousin is a very good man .He does not frequent nor partake of any of the red light industry. He work's hard and suffer's from a ongoing sickness.

At the start of this year he was introuduced, by mutual friend, to a local lady.

They seemed to hit it off from the start. This suprised us as he has never done this before and seemed well aware of the risks involved. Also, she was much younger (20's-40's) than him and this always makes us suspect.

This one he said was 'different' and he seemed very happy. At first their relationship was platonic which may or may not be true, but made us think it could at least , be honest for once as he claimed no money passed hand's.

We all warned him of what could be really going on and when we found out how much money he was giving her for "her family" and her 'sickness".

We took it upon ourselfs to employ a company who was able to access all her information ( facebook,line chat's,twitter, sms's,bank account detail's,etc,etc).Side note- shocking how easy it is to basicly access everything.

I was told this before and read online reports saying this , but never expected it to be this easy- I will return to using post system! But then again, I do not cheat people so no real need.

What we found out is quite amazing (although some say very "typical').

This lady,no exageration, has made million's of baht, bought a house and land by basicly meeting gulliable good hearted western men and telling them the same sort of tale of woe deceiving them by same old hard luck story.

"I am poor thai girl, I want good life, I am not working girl, I just need a little money to support my family ,or cure myself of this "sickness" that I have ( the people who checked her out said this sickness is invented-), can you please help me so we can be together, I just want to be a good wife and mother,or I will have no other option other than to sell my body ( or kill myself)".

Our little investigation revealed illegal activitys such as suspecting of selling certain substances, (amazingly with the full approval of her morther!!!), as well as promoting sex party's ( not sure if illegal-photo's can even be seen on the net, so we guess not). Doubt they are free, so it must be a crime of some sort's. I guess somebody is paid off as usual.

Anyway,we have all the evidence, all her many Facebook accounts, the personal messages between her and her 'sponsers',her mother ,bank account details,etc,etc ( not sure if permissible in court because of way obtained, but pretty sure thai police will not ignore some of businesses she was involved in no matter how information obtained)

My cousin, fool that he is,say's ' forget it". He even defend's her saying she had to do this to survive and ask's us to drop whole matter.

Surviving is one thing.

We think she went way over and above the need just to survive( and once when one man gave her 1.5 million she just left him) and what she does amounts to stealing,deceit,deception,and that does not include the other crime's.

She is also playing with people life's. One man, an australian,apparenlty 4 year's ago commited suicide when finding out what was going on.This information did not come from agency obtaining the information .However, I do not doubt it.

Do we have some sort of duty to inform and warn other's?

What do reader's think should be done? Is she bad? Or just trying to survive? Should we;

1- go to the police ( the person helping us get the inside information say's she will be certainly be jailed simply on content's of some messages that will also implicate many others- eg-her mother)

2- sue her for return of all money's,or get money's back in return for not exposing,making formal complaint's,etc,etc.

3- Post all her information all over the net and contact the 11 men she is now fleecing for money and prove to them what is really going on.It's almost quite funny seeing her FB photo's with them claiming 'I have found my true love'!!!

Any other suggestion's please?

Frankly, not sure what to do.In one way I find what she is doing to be disgusting ( letting my cousin go sick and leaving a man after giving her so much is just so low) and in another way,sometimes I wonder if I should not to listen to my cousins plea's and just drop thing's.

I often feel very sorry for these girls and wonder if they would do this if society treated them correctly.

Also, I have seen inside of thai jails ( as member of 'prisoners friends") and would not like anyone to have to endure that.

She is now aware that she has been found out, claim's she will either

1- kill herself

2- send people to us -veiled threat.No worry's for us at all.

3- pay us back far more than what we estimated she took .In return for our silence.She is a very well known girl 9 so many FB friends) we found out (she frequents all the local soi 11 hangouts) and obvioulsy seem's to want to avoid any scandle.

So, simply,advise please. Ruin her trade,save others their money and feelings- or drop whole matter?

[LivinLOS]

The only part at all which surprises me in the least is this

We took it upon ourselfs to employ a company who was able to access all her information ( facebook,line chat's,twitter, sms's,bank account detail's,etc,etc).Side note- shocking how easy it is to basicly access everything.

I have a fair bit of experience with keyloggers, installing trojans, phone scanning and tracking software etc.. and none of it is easy..

[David48]

She is now aware that she has been found out, claim's she will either

1- kill herself

2- send people to us -veiled threat.No worry's for us at all.

3- pay us back far more than what we estimated she took .In return for our silence.She is a very well known girl 9 so many FB friends) we found out (she frequents all the local soi 11 hangouts) and obvioulsy seem's to want to avoid any scandle.

4- Carry on regardless ...

.

[Skint]

http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=TUeWsgPRI08&feature=kp

[rgs2001uk]

[The Dancer]

It sucks I know to be duped like this. But there really is little you can do. The woman's evidently hardened and won't give up without a fight, however you try to retaliate, which would get you into a farang vs. Thai situation, never pleasant. So think: is it worth it?

As your cousin seems to see the matter, basically it's an expensive lesson learned. Good attitude! Is he dumb? Now, no. If it happens again then, yes. Which it probably won't. And look at the positive. He actually got off the ride before a major crash (like the guy who did himself in).

Like they say time heals. Take it easy for a month - play stuff on the internet, keep up with the coup, do not desperately rebound to the next babe who presents herself - and the whole deal will soon be a speck on the rearview mirror.

[Hermes100]

The only part at all which surprises me in the least is this

We took it upon ourselfs to employ a company who was able to access all her information ( facebook,line chat's,twitter, sms's,bank account detail's,etc,etc).Side note- shocking how easy it is to basicly access everything.

I have a fair bit of experience with keyloggers, installing trojans, phone scanning and tracking software etc.. and none of it is easy..

Us too,very much so. The agency asked us not to name them or mention anything about their connection's.

When we first went to see them ( recommended by a embassy friend) one of their staff made incredable claim's.

We can check her facebook messages, phone message's, bank detail's, and something called " link",etc,etc.

Because I visit people in jail here ( and over sea's) and have know a little how they were caught I am not totally new to this technology.

But I was still doubtful and because the service was not exactly cheap I asked for a demostration before commiting.

I had to pay a deposit if it was successful.

And it was- 100%, all her facebook account's, FB/sms message's to /from, flight details,including seat number,even room number at hotel she stayed,name's and detail's of all her boyfriends,her home address,etc,etc.

You say this is not easy, well, it seemed pretty easy to them and I apparently it's becoming easier. I have been looking into it myself.

Should this sort of technology be so easy to obtain and is there anything that can be done to gaurd against it.

The owner said she was easy target because she took no precautions at all.

[I Like Thai]

My cousin, fool that he is,say's ' forget it". He even defend's her saying she had to do this to survive and ask's us to drop whole matter.

Mind your own business. It has nothing to do with you.

[Hermes100]

It sucks I know to be duped like this. But there really is little you can do. The woman's evidently hardened and won't give up without a fight, however you try to retaliate, which would get you into a farang vs. Thai situation, never pleasant. So think: is it worth it?

As your cousin seems to see the matter, basically it's an expensive lesson learned. Good attitude! Is he dumb? Now, no. If it happens again then, yes. Which it probably won't. And look at the positive. He actually got off the ride before a major crash (like the guy who did himself in).

Like they say time heals. Take it easy for a month - play stuff on the internet, keep up with the coup, do not desperately rebound to the next babe who presents herself - and the whole deal will soon be a speck on the rearview mirror.

Thank you,,, I completley agree, best advice yet, however, others think she should be exposed before she can ruin other life's. Like that austalian's.

The thai/farang situation does not bother him in the slightest ,we have already consulted both them and lawyer, but he seem's very concerned about 'doing right thing" and does not want her sent to jail .He actually blames thai society for what he say's causes them to have to do this.

And I do see his point on this.

Anyway, thanks for good advice.

[AnotherOneAmerican]

1,000s of unlovable western men come to Thailand and discover love.

I have a friend the same, 40+, bald, disabled, a bit boring, in short nothing a woman would ever want from a man.

"No, she really loves me, he claims"

"Look at yourself in a mirror, I tell him"

I have no problem with men who need to buy the pretence of love, but don't start believing your own fairy-tales, and don't try making your friends believe either.

IMHO not the woman's fault, she is providing him with a service he needs.

His problem for overpaying.

Edited May 30, 2014 by AnotherOneAmerican

[ToneG]

Hermes. The moneys gone so forget it. You did your best by warning your friend/cousin but like countless others wouldn't listen. You could have shown him the countless similar stories on this forum. Your post will be a good warning for others be content with that. I hope I don't meet her I'm always in Soi 11 when in BKK.

Chees ToneG

[The Dancer]

It sucks I know to be duped like this. But there really is little you can do. The woman's evidently hardened and won't give up without a fight, however you try to retaliate, which would get you into a farang vs. Thai situation, never pleasant. So think: is it worth it?

As your cousin seems to see the matter, basically it's an expensive lesson learned. Good attitude! Is he dumb? Now, no. If it happens again then, yes. Which it probably won't. And look at the positive. He actually got off the ride before a major crash (like the guy who did himself in).

Like they say time heals. Take it easy for a month - play stuff on the internet, keep up with the coup, do not desperately rebound to the next babe who presents herself - and the whole deal will soon be a speck on the rearview mirror.

Thank you,,, I completley agree, best advice yet, however, others think she should be exposed before she can ruin other life's. Like that austalian's.

The thai/farang situation does not bother him in the slightest ,we have already consulted both them and lawyer, but he seem's very concerned about 'doing right thing" and does not want her sent to jail .He actually blames thai society for what he say's causes them to have to do this.

And I do see his point on this.

Anyway, thanks for good advice.

Well, like Shakespeare said "Thai women would not be wolves if farang men were not sheep". I know, I had no idea Shakespeare had been here myself.

Anyway, if you knew for sure you can stop her from harming others in future, go ahead and do the right thing. But you don't. And there's no call for you or your cousin to mess up your lives in order to try. Now, if you're telling me that you're convinced by a local lawyer you'll win for sure in court (you'll be paying him for the privilege, right?) well then there's this bridge over the Chaophaya my gf's family owns...

You want to fix Thai society? Well, again Shakespeare: "The fault, dear farang, is not in Thai society, But in ourselves, that we keep getting screwed. For, A needy man will surely meet someone to scratch his need and make him pay".

[dutchisaan]

Dear Hermes 100,

Didn't you reply in a other thread about girls using men for money, that it there own problem, that they asked for this?

So what is different with your story, or are you writing a book?

Sent from my iPad using Thaivisa Connect Thailand mobile app

[Hermes100]

It sucks I know to be duped like this. But there really is little you can do. The woman's evidently hardened and won't give up without a fight, however you try to retaliate, which would get you into a farang vs. Thai situation, never pleasant. So think: is it worth it?

As your cousin seems to see the matter, basically it's an expensive lesson learned. Good attitude! Is he dumb? Now, no. If it happens again then, yes. Which it probably won't. And look at the positive. He actually got off the ride before a major crash (like the guy who did himself in).

Like they say time heals. Take it easy for a month - play stuff on the internet, keep up with the coup, do not desperately rebound to the next babe who presents herself - and the whole deal will soon be a speck on the rearview mirror.

Thank you,,, I completley agree, best advice yet, however, others think she should be exposed before she can ruin other life's. Like that austalian's.

The thai/farang situation does not bother him in the slightest ,we have already consulted both them and lawyer, but he seem's very concerned about 'doing right thing" and does not want her sent to jail .He actually blames thai society for what he say's causes them to have to do this.

And I do see his point on this.

Anyway, thanks for good advice.

Well, like Shakespeare said "Thai women would not be wolves if farang men were not sheep". I know, I had no idea Shakespeare had been here myself.

Anyway, if you knew for sure you can stop her from harming others in future, go ahead and do the right thing. But you don't. And there's no call for you or your cousin to mess up your lives in order to try. Now, if you're telling me that you're convinced by a local lawyer you'll win for sure in court (you'll be paying him for the privilege, right?) well then there's this bridge over the Chaophaya my gf's family owns...

You want to fix Thai society? Well, again Shakespeare: "The fault, dear farang, is not in Thai society, But in ourselves, that we keep getting screwed. For, A needy man will surely meet someone to scratch his need and make him pay".

yes, the evidence of dealing in certain substances we are told is immense and will put her in jail, along with many others for a considerable amount of time ( too much really).It would be hard for her to mess up men's lifes like this.

Plus, she will have her passport canceled and no country will apparently ever grant her a visa-our lawyer tell's us.This does not include placing all her information all over the net warning others who frequent her hunting grounds of her true nature.

Still, he does not want to do this.

[Hermes100]

Dear Hermes 100,

Didn't you reply in a other thread about girls using men for money, that it there own problem, that they asked for this?

So what is different with your story, or are you writing a book?

Sent from my iPad using Thaivisa Connect Thailand mobile app

no, not me

[Suradit69]

This suprised us as he has never done this before

... and this always makes us suspect.

If he's never done this before how can his behavior always make you suspect ____?

[asdecas]

A very simple ruse to sort the wheat from the chaff is to reply to emails or texts with a judicious word or phrase in Thai. You don't even have to learn it, just copy and paste. Pests will scurry back under the fridge in no time, never to be heard from again. Those without an agenda will typically ask how such a hansum man as yourself also acquired such consummate language skills. You are on your way.

[slipperylobster]

The only part at all which surprises me in the least is this

We took it upon ourselfs to employ a company who was able to access all her information ( facebook,line chat's,twitter, sms's,bank account detail's,etc,etc).Side note- shocking how easy it is to basicly access everything.

I have a fair bit of experience with keyloggers, installing trojans, phone scanning and tracking software etc.. and none of it is easy..

All done easily and with free software. Easiest free software is TightVnc. Just allow it the first time through the firewall/AntiVirus software of the computer you suspect. Have it start as a service. Another is TinCam... Free...and can make it hard to detect...take snapshots of the screen you want to monitor and send photos via email.

Used both and found what you would not believe. Made me leave the Philippines.

Edited May 31, 2014 by slipperylobster

[misterphil]

You have 120 posts here on TV, but yet you still find the time to write all this crap. Surely you have read about these types of stories before on here. You and your pal need to get over it, and accept the money has gone, and there's no way of getting it back.

[ezzra]

MOD, I have a suggestion, how about starting a pinned column or segment just for all

those farang-Thai wife/girlfriend woes stories? that way any one who's looking to unload

or seek advice can go directly to that section...

[Braddockrd]

I would give her a taste of her own medicine and extort her for all she's got 555

[Yhimlamai]

Rule number one....
NEVER give large amounts of money or gifts...no matter how sad the story.
This is Thailand....never forget.

[ppmacready]

MOD, I have a suggestion, how about starting a pinned column or segment just for all

those farang-Thai wife/girlfriend woes stories? that way any one who's looking to unload

or seek advice can go directly to that section...

With the heading. You can't fix stupid!

[Hermes100]

This suprised us as he has never done this before

... and this always makes us suspect.

If he's never done this before how can his behavior always make you suspect ____?

he is a very sensitve man and had almost no relationship's with local ladies. He never goes place's she frequents like all the nightclubs around soi 11 where she seem's very popular.( the facebook photo's showed this)

Falling in love so quickly with a local and saying ' I trust her 100%" when before he would say " I know the game, understand it, you cannot them blame etc" All caused us to suspect he was under "her spell".

He is also very honest man and yet did give her money which he used semantic's to deny ( "I gave her to her , not paid her, we did not have sex,it was gift')

Also, maybe unethicaly we started to check her ourselves.

When we found certain information he was denial about it and this is not his charecter at all.

Anyway, he is quite okay with the matter now and even wishes her all the best of luck.

Not all of feel this way and some still want to expose. I think he should decide. It's a very sad and time consuming affair.

[Hermes100]

The money is gone , its sad there will be no happy ending to this all to familiar tale of woe. He will not listen until he is broke and alone again.

wrong - she her family has offered to pay all back because they fear us going to police.

One of us demanded a large amount( more than was taken) and they said they would pay it in return for our silence. Yet,even now, she plead's poverty to all her sponcer's .She certainly know's how to play the game.

She and other's will most certainly go to jail according to the lawyer.

Her mother even has a record.And also her father!

My friend will never be broke. He is a man of mean's. He could use this to his advantage if he was not such a nice person.

But for him it's not really all about money.

[Hermes100]

I would give her a taste of her own medicine and extort her for all she's got 555

that's what some of us think- but boy, she really would be in trouble. Apart from huge scandle the time my lawyer said she and others would spend in jail seem's far,far too harsh.

[nithisa78]

Report what you have to the authorities and move on. Tough break, good luck.

[slipperylobster]

Find five more of your relatives for her to fleece, and get a kickback.

[lucifer666]

So you paid a company to hack into her accounts ( Illegal), and then complain because some of what she does is (Possibly) illegal ?????.

Pot calling the Kettle black, springs to mind.

Secondly, This is the same story that i have heard a million times since i moved here. Same old same old.

If your "friend" was stupid enough to fall for this scam then that's his problem, not yours

[Neilcnx]

I would suggest to your friend that he examine his relationship with the "mutual friend" that introduced him to this woman. Then, as a 3rd party to the matter, i would respect the wishes of your friend who wants to move on. You didn't say what chronic illness he has but If he enjoyed the relationship for as long as it lasted and thinks it was worth it, stop raining on his parade.