Good care-home or live-in nurse?

[Korat88]

Many thanks Justanotherpassword! I am sure that will help more people than just me and my mother. I will look into it and see what feedback I get from the medical world on which medicine is the best for my mother's condition. Very helpful.

Best wishes - Nick

[sheepish77]

newbie here, a related Q:

Can I ask those who have very elderly non Thai parents in LOS, how do you handle the visa process, especially for someone who is not compos mentis?

[craigt3365]

Signatures are the main issue, but once you get here, an X is fine. And after the initial application, my mom has never had to sign anything nor visit the immigration office. I did her last visa renewal for her. Easy. And I do all 90 day stuff also.

[sheepish77]

Craig3365 thank you so much for replying, that actually sounds doable from my point of view. Good luck with your situation btw.

[Lefty]

Thank you so much for all your amazing replies. Much appreciated whether offering suggestions or just sharing experiences and offering support. I will look into some of the leads and see what develops. I did actually check out Absolute Living and it was too pricey for my budget or mother's savings, so I did not pursue the idea any further. Your lead in Pattaya (zbreeze) is much appreciated craigt3365 and the personal recount of your experience is very helpful to many I am sure. If I was nearer Pattaya I would be down there tomorrow to check it out and see for myself. It would be nice for my mother to be nearer me or my wife so we can visit though. I would feel so guilty moving her far away from anyone who can visit even if it is an amazing place as per your report. Sounds like it! Golden Years seems possible at the moment but they are full at the moment. I can fund mother's stay on top of the very minor monthly income she gets from her pension and moderate rent from a house in the UK she still owns. I will keep the thread updated with progress but once again am truly touched by the support and kind comments from all of you. Some of you have had a much harder time than my wife by the sounds of it so I have nothing but admiration and respect for all who have family members in such a condition and are taking care of them.

Driving in Korat today and noticed on the main road same side as Korat Bangkok Hospital a very large sign/billboard on a building advertising nurse aide training school.L

[Lefty]

There is a nurse aide training school advertised on a building on the main road in Korat.It covers the whole top half of building.Looks like the schools is in the same building.It is on same side of road as Korat Bangkok hospital about 3-400 mts before the Nissan dealer. They should have some graduates that could help you at a reasonable cost..

Lefty

[Korat88]

Many thanks for the pointer Lefty. I just told my wife about your message and if she manages to get out of the house she will try and track down the advertisement and contact the number to see if it leads anywhere positive. Leaving the house is rather challenging at the moment though. Hopefully she will manage to do so in the near future. Cheers - Nick

[Korat88]

sheepish77 - My mother is luckily included under my visa as my company have helped me sort this side of things out. When I renew my visa my mother's is renewed at the same time. I have to report for her every 90 days as there is no way she can do it.

[Sheryl]

Many thanks Justanotherpassword! I am sure that will help more people than just me and my mother. I will look into it and see what feedback I get from the medical world on which medicine is the best for my mother's condition. Very helpful.

Best wishes - Nick

This is one of the best doctors in Thailand for Alzheimers. He is in Bkk but worth the trip:

https://www.bumrungrad.com/doctors/Ketchai-Suavansri

[craigt3365]

Many thanks Justanotherpassword! I am sure that will help more people than just me and my mother. I will look into it and see what feedback I get from the medical world on which medicine is the best for my mother's condition. Very helpful.

Best wishes - Nick

This is one of the best doctors in Thailand for Alzheimers. He is in Bkk but worth the trip:

https://www.bumrungrad.com/doctors/Ketchai-Suavansri

This guy is fantastic. Got mom on some good meds. One that now allows her to sleep most of the night with out hallucinations. Gave us another med that calms her down when she goes crazy during the day. Incredibly fantastic for us.

[Korat88]

It is surprising how quickly things can change. The doctor was telling my wife the other day that Alzheimer's is one of the worst diseases as suffers usually live a long time despite the condition and predicted my mother would last another 5-10 years as she declined. Carers sometimes pass on before the patients. Hence one of the reasons I started this thread as there was no way I could put that burden on my fantastic wife.

Well now I have some bad and some good news since I last communicated with you all. During breakfast this morning my mother passed away with my wife and a friend beside her. It is sad of course, but it is also good that my wife is now free. I feel for my wife as she went through the care and now witnessed her death. Yet it is also "good" that my mother and my wife will not suffer anymore in their respective ways. My mother would never have wished to be a burden on anyone.

Many thanks to all of you for your kindness and support during this short discussion period. I hope that this thread helps others in a similar situation down line and I have the greatest respect for all those who still have loved ones suffering from Alzheimer's and their carers. I wish I could find a magic cure to help you all! I will be off to Korat now to say bye to mother but wanted you to all be updated before I leave.

Kind wishes - Nick

[craigt3365]

So sorry to hear this, Nick. I understand the "good news/bad news" part. Like you say, in the end, this is probably better. Remember the good times...

[sheepish77]

Korat88 sorry to hear that, it is a disease I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy.

Your wife sounds like a diamond. All the best.

[Justanotherpassword]

Celebrate mom's life and be certain to give your good wife a nice vacation for all she has done. You have formed a special bond now.

[neverdie]

Korat88,

Both you and your wife are amazing people, you've been through hard time and you have my thoughts and prayers at this time. Your mother was very lucky indeed to have such dedicated people in h life, I wish you all the best for the future and condolences for the loss of your mum.

Take care of your wife, what a wonderful woman & Im certain she's already taking care of you. I hope the pair of you get some well deserved rest.

[cmsally]

So sorry to hear this, I know what you are going through as was in the same position only a few months ago.

For my mother it was exactly the same . The week before she died we had just mentally prepared ourselves for another 4-5 years. It had got to the point where although manageable, we had started to think about the time span and the possible enormity of the situation because of course we had no idea in regards for planning. So we had just about accepted that 5 years was feasible.

Then without warning, one morning she seemed rather tired and strange so stayed in bed (which wasn't usual). She passed in the afternoon. I think she just sensed it was time to go, also her physical quality of life was deteriorating and she might have realised that to continue on was going to be quite unpleasant. It's very sad and for a while I felt a bit like a failure for not curing her and then for a while a strange feeling of losing her (literally losing her in that I had misplaced her!). But then you have to think how it could have been much worse and that if you have to go, it probably is not too bad to go that way.

It's very strange how we get to our breaking point , almost as though we sense something is happening. Everything seems very hectic as though we have to prepare for something.

I did think when I read your post it sounded similar which is why I hinted that we wouldn't put my mother in a home as she had some realisation of where she was. Very strange how things happen. Very strange indeed.

My condolences to you and your wife, but there's a lot of comfort in knowing that your mother lived a long and happy life and you did the best you could for her. I'm sure she appreciated it very much.

[Sheryl]

My condolences on your loss, although with Alzheimers as many of us know the loss begins before the death, still it hits home when they actually die.

You can take comfort in knowing that you did well by her in her lifetime and that thanks to you and your wife, she was able to die at home with family beside her, and also that thanks to whatever it was (my money would be on a stroke or heart attack), it spared her a slower and worse death.

[Rob 45]

I am in the same but but at an earlier stage.  At this point just a helper is needed but I am trying to prepare in advance.  Will be watching this thread closely.