Do many Thais appreciate a person going out of their way....

[scorecard]

So on these towards extreme examples you want to judge all Thais?

Your original question is about as silly as:

- Do all Thais like strawberry jam?

- Do all Thais have six toes?

- Do all Thais like chicken and coconut milk soup?

By the way do all English people / German people / American people etc.,

- Like strawberry jam?

- Have six toes?

- Like chicken and coconut milk soup?

By the way could you find folks with the attitudes and behaviors you mentioned in your two examples in every country in the world? You answer.

[ggt]

My experience...integrity...honesty...consideration...thankfulness...are in short supply in this country...selfishness...and corruption abound...but...there may be hope for the future...the Military seems to be trying to turn the negative aspects of Thai society around...to be more genuine...not just looking for a free lunch...

[Roota]

I notice that as well, Thais rarely say thanks to each other. Different culture and different rules. Just the way it is...

They say thanks to each other a great deal, though not necessarily in the same situations that Westerners might.

As always, I suggest looking at it in an Asian context. By, say, Chinese standards, Thais tend to be very forthcoming with social niceties.

[maximillian]

Lent a friend 20.000 THB. He said it's only for a few days. He even handed his passport to me. I said: "no need, I trust you.'

That was last October. Still don't have the money back from my German 'friend' who also borrowed money from other friends

who will probably never get their money back.

Called his mother in Germany. She told me that he also had cheated her and his brother.

Never had problems with Thai people. Lent some money and always received it back without need to remind them.

About gratitute: You are helping a Thai person and you receive no 'thank you' for your help, i believe it is because they gave you the opportunity to do something good,

so you are even.

[benalibina]

My experience...integrity...honesty...consideration...thankfulness...are in short supply in this country...selfishness...and corruption abound...but...there may be hope for the future...the Military seems to be trying to turn the negative aspects of Thai society around...to be more genuine...not just looking for a free lunch...

Sad but true, these are my thoughts as well. People with no emotional involvement would not notice it though. Consideration is certainly lacking. Being able to see two sides of a coin. Is it culture, lack of proper education...dunno....

[claffey]

The real question is, are Thais in general nice? I think they are. in the Anglophone world (whose culture I am more familiar with) for example, one tends to hold the door open for the person following, they raise their arm to indicate thank you for giving them right of way and so many other things. These things are nice but they are part of the culture. it doesn't mean that a person doing that is intrinsically "good". It is just the convention. In less "developed" cultures if a driver stops to let a young lady pedestrian pass, the expected response will be that of suspicion and unease. she wouldn't smile or wave because she might be considered non virtuous. So everything is a matter of how advanced a society is for the stereotypical social responses.

I have been associated with Thailand for the last 30 years. I never stayed more than non month and always under the protection of a hotel or serviced apartment. I have not been exposed to "real" situations and never felt threatened. So my limited experience says that Thai people are a courteous lot rather, than not.

I feel much safer in Thailand than in the Philippines for example.

'In Less developed cultures'!!! Cultures are all unique and different. Ideas about one culture being superior than another smacks of old Imperialistic values. Social responses do not depend on 'how advanced a society is'...The patronising tone of your post is yet another example of a Westerner attempting to compare Thailand and the homeland. Can't everybody just accept that its different in Thailand and stop trying to impose Western perspectives and values on everything. Life is obviously so much better for us all in Thailand. That's why we're all living here isn't it??? Or is it because of cheap and plentiful sex??? Perhaps all Westerners should start examining their own values and morals before attempting to impose subliminal imperialistic values on Thais...

[Mudcrab]

Once again I find myself living in a different Thailand to many TV members.

Daily, I receive acknowledgement from strangers for opening a door, making a gap in the traffic, standing aside to let someone pass and similar such acts of common courtesy. Maybe some of you guys don't see (or don't want to see) the deference that is offered - the nodding of a head or a quick smile, or even a full fledged dip if the generational gap is significant. Sure, not 100% of the time, but no less frequently than I would expect at home.

As to specific payback, I could list dozens of situations where we have helped others in minor ways and been rewarded with favours or gifts that meet or exceed the help given. And made some very good family friends in the process.

The latest that happened just yesterday was receiving a box load of vegetables from a very remote acquaintance because she needed a lift to the bus station with her luggage two weeks ago and I just happened to be going that way. On her return she makes a point of bringing us the box of veges at some cost to herself in terms of time and effort.

It's not so much you live in a different Thailand,more like a different planet,what are you on,and where can i get some.

I rest my case.

You can meet a lot of nice people by being nice.....anywhere in the world including Thailand.

[1FinickyOne]

Yes, I have seen what you are saying in both this and my home culture…

Here, it depends on the situation and the "thank you" is often assumed, especially in family situations. It is not necessary. When I help strangers the "thank you" is more effusive than with a family member. If you look for it in words, you might not hear it, but if you look into people's faces and actions, you might be more inclined to see it. I don't expect it or need it and my family in USA never really said "thank you" too much either.

[Mudcrab]

My experience...integrity...honesty...consideration...thankfulness...are in short supply in this country...selfishness...and corruption abound...but...

and that's just the farangs that I've met

[ericthai]

I remember a story, maybe even from on here about 2 years ago, about a guy living in a rural village. He set out on a mission to clean up the place. Hired a big grass cutter and painted all the playground, cleaned up the whe whole place. Hoping to lead by example. He was delighted with the result.

then he got sick.

the locals called around.

To enquire as to when he he will be cutting the grass again.

Anybody remember this? It was a big long thread with lots of pics of all the good work, a big grass cutter rented for the day, painted and clean playground etc. Until he got sick. Then everything back to normal except they called around wanting to know when he's going to cut the grass again.

I'm sure I read it on this forum.

Do a search yourself. That's what anyone else is going to have to do to find it, you want it do the search.

[benalibina]

My experience...integrity...honesty...consideration...thankfulness...are in short supply in this country...selfishness...and corruption abound...but...

and that's just the farangs that I've met

Many of them.....too.

They fit in really well.

[Mudcrab]

The real question is, are Thais in general nice? I think they are. in the Anglophone world (whose culture I am more familiar with) for example, one tends to hold the door open for the person following, they raise their arm to indicate thank you for giving them right of way and so many other things. These things are nice but they are part of the culture. it doesn't mean that a person doing that is intrinsically "good". It is just the convention. In less "developed" cultures if a driver stops to let a young lady pedestrian pass, the expected response will be that of suspicion and unease. she wouldn't smile or wave because she might be considered non virtuous. So everything is a matter of how advanced a society is for the stereotypical social responses.

I have been associated with Thailand for the last 30 years. I never stayed more than non month and always under the protection of a hotel or serviced apartment. I have not been exposed to "real" situations and never felt threatened. So my limited experience says that Thai people are a courteous lot rather, than not.

I feel much safer in Thailand than in the Philippines for example.

'In Less developed cultures'!!! Cultures are all unique and different. Ideas about one culture being superior than another smacks of old Imperialistic values. Social responses do not depend on 'how advanced a society is'...The patronising tone of your post is yet another example of a Westerner attempting to compare Thailand and the homeland. Can't everybody just accept that its different in Thailand and stop trying to impose Western perspectives and values on everything. Life is obviously so much better for us all in Thailand. That's why we're all living here isn't it??? Or is it because of cheap and plentiful sex??? Perhaps all Westerners should start examining their own values and morals before attempting to impose subliminal imperialistic values on Thais...

or the red shirt version of their world

[marios]

The real question is, are Thais in general nice? I think they are. in the Anglophone world (whose culture I am more familiar with) for example, one tends to hold the door open for the person following, they raise their arm to indicate thank you for giving them right of way and so many other things. These things are nice but they are part of the culture. it doesn't mean that a person doing that is intrinsically "good". It is just the convention. In less "developed" cultures if a driver stops to let a young lady pedestrian pass, the expected response will be that of suspicion and unease. she wouldn't smile or wave because she might be considered non virtuous. So everything is a matter of how advanced a society is for the stereotypical social responses.

I have been associated with Thailand for the last 30 years. I never stayed more than non month and always under the protection of a hotel or serviced apartment. I have not been exposed to "real" situations and never felt threatened. So my limited experience says that Thai people are a courteous lot rather, than not.

I feel much safer in Thailand than in the Philippines for example.

'In Less developed cultures'!!! Cultures are all unique and different. Ideas about one culture being superior than another smacks of old Imperialistic values. Social responses do not depend on 'how advanced a society is'...The patronising tone of your post is yet another example of a Westerner attempting to compare Thailand and the homeland. Can't everybody just accept that its different in Thailand and stop trying to impose Western perspectives and values on everything. Life is obviously so much better for us all in Thailand. That's why we're all living here isn't it??? Or is it because of cheap and plentiful sex??? Perhaps all Westerners should start examining their own values and morals before attempting to impose subliminal imperialistic values on Thais...

This is so unfair!

If you have noticed, in the original post, 'developed' was enclosed in double commas. Meaning that I was being sarcastic with the perception that the west is more advanced as far as moral superiority and manners are concerned. I stressed that these niceties are part of the culture and that is that. I love Thailand and I have great respect for the Thai people. I mentioned it by stating that Thais are a courteous people. I cannot understand how I was so misunderstood.

[332]

I remember a story, maybe even from on here about 2 years ago, about a guy living in a rural village. He set out on a mission to clean up the place. Hired a big grass cutter and painted all the playground, cleaned up the whe whole place. Hoping to lead by example. He was delighted with the result.

then he got sick.

the locals called around.

To enquire as to when he he will be cutting the grass again.

If it was on here, can someone find it for me? I'd be interested in reading it again.

That was me....what do you want to know? Other than I havent helped since....Everything has returned to normal, the place is again overgrown and trash everywhere.

The grounds are only used now for grazing cows.

The kids can no longer play football or enjoy as they used to....But on every sunday the local hoods with beefed up cars terrorise the place doing burnouts all bloody afternoon....I sold all the ride mowers except the ones I need for myself......

Can you post a link to the thread?

I remember pics of everything, and lots of pride in doing it (as their should be!)

I can't locate the thread in serching for it.

Thanks.

[332]

You have to wonder about some people.

Do they even read the thread title.

So on these towards extreme examples you want to judge all Thais?

"Do many Thais...."

Obviously they don't.

Edited June 13, 2014 by 332

[Munger]

Mr. 332, you seem to have a very negative view of Thais and Thailand, judging by the content of this and other threads you've started. So what really happened to you? Get burned by a bargirl or two?

Never had a need or desire for bargirls.

Just my observations from a number of years of living within the society.

So do you only have negative observations about Thailand?

No need for a prostitute is NOT negative

[kannot]

Do many Thais appreciate a person going out of their [sic] way.

Is "a person" secret code for "farang?" Sounds like another farang suffering from loss of face after performing some trivial gesture for which he expected undying & everlasting gratitude from the "natives."

Have you consulted the "How to be a Thai Handbook" that all 67 million have to read and swear to follow ... since they all think and act the exactly same?

Isnt that the one on the shelf next to the "rose tinted spectacles" book?

[haikurd]

Maybe the issue is that Anglo-American culture says please, thanks and sorry a lot - it's not necessarily the norm in other places but that doesn't mean it's rude. Like standing in line or being in time, in some places those are like moral obligations and it's an outrage if you break the code, in others people just don't see it as big deal.

I'm with the poster above who basically said, who cares? If I help someone out it's because I can and because it feels right to do so, one thing if the help just wasn't needed and then it's good to know, but I'm not doing it for the recognition.

Sometimes some Westerners do really go out of their way to help people because that's the way they were brought up, that can be perverted into "do-gooderism" but mostly it's one of the nicest things about our culture, I think it can surprise people you weren't brought up that way, maybe it confounds some of the stereotypes about how farang are supposed to be. But Thai people often surprise me by doing small nice things that no one would ever think to do where I come from, but to them seem perfectly natural.

[duanebigsby]

Do many Thais appreciate a person going out of their [sic] way.

Is "a person" secret code for "farang?" Sounds like another farang suffering from loss of face after performing some trivial gesture for which he expected undying & everlasting gratitude from the "natives."

Have you consulted the "How to be a Thai Handbook" that all 67 million have to read and swear to follow ... since they all think and act the exactly same?

Isnt that the one on the shelf next to the "rose tinted spectacles" book?

what's the opposite to "rose tinted?"

Jaded, cynical, perhaps racist?

Really you Thai bashers take behaviours, perfectly observable in the western world, and come up with all sorts of negative labels for Thai people. From what you guys say, you would think they weren't much further evolved than apes.

I have to question, if you hate Thailand and its' people so much...........

[shawndoc]

I think a lot of it also has to do with either social class or possibly rural vs urban. Not sure which, as I don't have enough experience. From what I've seen the rural/poor Thai's seem more likely to take advantage of people if given a chance, not paying back loans, etc. Where most of the people I know from the city (most of whom are middle class or higher) are much more along the lines of a typical westerner when it comes to gratitude, pleasantries, and payback.

Also some things to keep in mind

- A lot of Thais, especially those in tourist heavy areas tend to view westerners as walking cash dispensers. So they may treat the same behavior by a Thai differently the exact same behavior by a farang.

- You also have to keep in mind how important Face is in Thai society. When you help out without being asked, you have to be careful to not do it in such a way as it might be taken as them losing face. What might seem as a nice gesture by you, might be taken as a huge insult by them.

[Grindting]

Do many Thais appreciate a person going out of their [sic] way.

Is "a person" secret code for "farang?" Sounds like another farang suffering from loss of face after performing some trivial gesture for which he expected undying & everlasting gratitude from the "natives."

Have you consulted the "How to be a Thai Handbook" that all 67 million have to read and swear to follow ... since they all think and act the exactly same?

Isnt that the one on the shelf next to the "rose tinted spectacles" book?

what's the opposite to "rose tinted?"

Jaded, cynical, perhaps racist?

Really you Thai bashers take behaviours, perfectly observable in the western world, and come up with all sorts of negative labels for Thai people. From what you guys say, you would think they weren't much further evolved than apes.

I have to question, if you hate Thailand and its' people so much...........

Well my old Japanese professor referred to the Thais as 'Savages'.

Compared with Classic Japanese culture most of us probably are.

Since I'm married to an Indonesian myself I sometimes took what he said with a grain of salt

[332]

Was just talking to a British educated (Secondary school and tertiary level) Thai and he laughed when I brought it up.

His take was that many Thais (born and raised here) only act to advantage themselves. Which might mean financially or making a social setting easier for themselves by smiling and lying. Even giving - making merit - is to advantage themselves later on.

With many Westerners they will go out of their way to disadvantage themselves for reasons alien to many Thais. Tell the truth when it disadvantages them to do so, give things to people with out any expectations of merit further down the line, hang around the scene of an accident they were involved in, etc etc. Many Thais see this as beyond foolish and is why many consider Westerners to be stupid - They will purposefully disadvantage themselves for no good reason.

That was his take on it.

Edited June 13, 2014 by 332

[stockholm1995]

And that is what they call THAINESS.

Was just talking to a British educated (Secondary school and tertiary level) Thai and he laughed when I brought it up.

His take was that many Thais (born and raised here) only act to advantage themselves. Which might mean financially or making a social setting easier for themselves by smiling and lying. Even giving - making merit - is to advantage themselves later on.

With many Westerners they will go out of their way to disadvantage themselves for reasons alien to many Thais. Tell the truth when it disadvantages them to do so, give things to people with out any expectations of merit further down the line, hang around the scene of an accident they were involved in, etc etc. Many Thais see this as beyond foolish and is why many consider Westerners to be stupid - They will purposefully disadvantage themselves for no good reason.

That was his take on it.

[benalibina]

And that is what they call THAINESS.

Was just talking to a British educated (Secondary school and tertiary level) Thai and he laughed when I brought it up.

His take was that many Thais (born and raised here) only act to advantage themselves. Which might mean financially or making a social setting easier for themselves by smiling and lying. Even giving - making merit - is to advantage themselves later on.

With many Westerners they will go out of their way to disadvantage themselves for reasons alien to many Thais. Tell the truth when it disadvantages them to do so, give things to people with out any expectations of merit further down the line, hang around the scene of an accident they were involved in, etc etc. Many Thais see this as beyond foolish and is why many consider Westerners to be stupid - They will purposefully disadvantage themselves for no good reason.

That was his take on it.

And when 1 confronts many thais with this side of Thainess...their reply will be......you dont understand !!

[Thongkorn]

Should be ,does anyone, from any part of the world appreciate anyone going out of there way. short answer No i am alright Jack.

[332]

Should be ,does anyone, from any part of the world appreciate anyone going out of there way. short answer No i am alright Jack.

Thai?

[kannot]

Was just talking to a British educated (Secondary school and tertiary level) Thai and he laughed when I brought it up.

His take was that many Thais (born and raised here) only act to advantage themselves. Which might mean financially or making a social setting easier for themselves by smiling and lying. Even giving - making merit - is to advantage themselves later on.

With many Westerners they will go out of their way to disadvantage themselves for reasons alien to many Thais. Tell the truth when it disadvantages them to do so, give things to people with out any expectations of merit further down the line, hang around the scene of an accident they were involved in, etc etc. Many Thais see this as beyond foolish and is why many consider Westerners to be stupid - They will purposefully disadvantage themselves for no good reason.

That was his take on it.

FINALLY THE TRUTH OF ALL THAINESS!!!

[kannot]

Do many Thais appreciate a person going out of their [sic] way.

Is "a person" secret code for "farang?" Sounds like another farang suffering from loss of face after performing some trivial gesture for which he expected undying & everlasting gratitude from the "natives."

Have you consulted the "How to be a Thai Handbook" that all 67 million have to read and swear to follow ... since they all think and act the exactly same?

Isnt that the one on the shelf next to the "rose tinted spectacles" book?

what's the opposite to "rose tinted?"

Jaded, cynical, perhaps racist?

Really you Thai bashers take behaviours, perfectly observable in the western world, and come up with all sorts of negative labels for Thai people. From what you guys say, you would think they weren't much further evolved than apes.

I have to question, if you hate Thailand and its' people so much...........

Its "realistic" its only a fool who doesnt see the "scale" of it in Thailand, YES we know it happens the world over but not on the same level..

Edited June 13, 2014 by kannot

[Berkshire]

Was just talking to a British educated (Secondary school and tertiary level) Thai and he laughed when I brought it up.

His take was that many Thais (born and raised here) only act to advantage themselves. Which might mean financially or making a social setting easier for themselves by smiling and lying. Even giving - making merit - is to advantage themselves later on.

With many Westerners they will go out of their way to disadvantage themselves for reasons alien to many Thais. Tell the truth when it disadvantages them to do so, give things to people with out any expectations of merit further down the line, hang around the scene of an accident they were involved in, etc etc. Many Thais see this as beyond foolish and is why many consider Westerners to be stupid - They will purposefully disadvantage themselves for no good reason.

That was his take on it.

You just made this up. You didn't speak to any Thai person. This is your idea of how Thais think. Why do you lie all the time?

[benalibina]

Was just talking to a British educated (Secondary school and tertiary level) Thai and he laughed when I brought it up.

His take was that many Thais (born and raised here) only act to advantage themselves. Which might mean financially or making a social setting easier for themselves by smiling and lying. Even giving - making merit - is to advantage themselves later on.

With many Westerners they will go out of their way to disadvantage themselves for reasons alien to many Thais. Tell the truth when it disadvantages them to do so, give things to people with out any expectations of merit further down the line, hang around the scene of an accident they were involved in, etc etc. Many Thais see this as beyond foolish and is why many consider Westerners to be stupid - They will purposefully disadvantage themselves for no good reason.

That was his take on it.

You just made this up. You didn't speak to any Thai person. This is your idea of how Thais think. Why do you lie all the time?

Woooowwwww.....wooooowwwwwww....you think so, really...?