Age gap in a relationship, how comfortable are you?

[arunsakda]

Half your age plus seven.

[Thaiberius]

 
Lots of jealous young guys who can't get these types of dimes!

Pull yourself together man!

[farang000999]

Can you imagine the anger and rage all the Western ladies back home would be having if they saw me with her and knew that I was unavailable to them? Sorry ladies, you are too fat and uncivilized and these Thai birds really know how to treat a bloke over 60. That is right, I know you are crying yourselves to sleep with regret! You should have treated me better when you had the chance!

[JAFO]

@Farang000999, That pic made me verp... With that said I sure hope that pic isn't of you for 2 reasons. 1) That Bird (as you noted) has zero interest in that tattoo'd up old coffin dodger, look at her body english, 2) If that is you why in the world would you think some western ladies would want you or that they should be jealous? Again if it is you, I suggest you get out of the sun and lay off the Ya Dong for awhile.....Just sayin.........

[jackspade]

This is a small gap compared to many here, but I'm 27, my girlfriend is 21, and I'm barely surviving this relationship.  There's just no sense of real connection, everything is so superficial and hyperbolic.  It can't last much longer.

 

I couldn't imagine dating someone below 40 if I was 60.

Edited July 30, 2014 by jackspade

[thailiketoo]

 

 

The man is suffering a bad case of jealousy.  I'm a father and the only thing I care about is; will my daughter be happy and healthy.  I don't care who her husband is.  I'd prefer older and settled with the financial ability to take care of her.
 
My ex wife married a rich old guy it's one of the reasons I can live in Thailand and not worry about her.  She was a trophy wife and got what she wanted from me and moved on.  Good for her.  I've got what I want, a hot young Thai women and she has what she wants a rich old guy.  Who really cares?

 

 
Jealousy?? JEALOUSY??!!  

 

Look, I didn't expect my views to be popular on a forum of predominantly ageing, crotchety old men most of whom came here to have one last hurrah with the kind of attractive women they wouldn't have had two hopes of pulling in the West. The reasons for that are so well documented, it's not worth going into.

 

Much of the breakdown of law and order in advanced nations has its roots in the breakdown of the family unit; mother AND father helping to bring up a child with values but hang on a sec; here's Captain Geriatric, Giddyup who reckons you can do away with all that by just tossing the widow a check from beyond the grave. He sits there talking as if every pensioner in Thailand is actually CAPABLE of leaving a sizeable stipend or lump sum to fund a child's rearing in the event of his death. What a crock of crap . . . a significant number of them can't even afford to drink a shandy outside happy hour let alone provide for a child sired at the ripe old age of 65. 

 

You're all a bunch of complete hypocrites because I have no doubt whatsoever, that YOU yourselves make snap judgments every single day of your lives. 

 

As I said before, I don't give a damn if a pensioner wants to date or marry a woman/girl 25+ years his junior but I DO give a damn if he bitches about people making snap judgments and perhaps ridiculing both him and his ultra young wife/GF because, I GUARANTEE that that same pensioner will walk around the next bloody corner and make a snap judgment about or ridicule someone else who doesn't fit into society's norms, be they morbidly obese, a burkha-clad Muslim, a katoey, a meth-head or a beggar. 

 

Grow the hell up. Enjoy your vices but accept that there are prices to be paid for them.

 

Justify or explain whatever it is you do with your gymslip girlfriends and wives to your heart's content but deep down, in the places you'd rather not peer into too often, it's not the opinions of others that bother you.

 

It's your opinion of yourself

 

 

The great majority of older men here have legal visas and enough money in the bank verified by immigration to live comfortably in Thailand. 

 

Marriage with a woman of legal age whatever that age is not a vice.

 

There is the flaw in your argument.  If society thought it was wrong they would make it illegal.  My wife is 30 years younger than I.  She is in her 40's.  Nothing illegal about it.  I am OK with. My grown children are OK with it.  Her family is OK with it.  30 years younger no problem. 

 

I was married to a woman 30 years younger than I in the West too.  She was a dancer, great body. 
 

[wilcopops]

 

 

 

The man is suffering a bad case of jealousy.  I'm a father and the only thing I care about is; will my daughter be happy and healthy.  I don't care who her husband is.  I'd prefer older and settled with the financial ability to take care of her.
 
My ex wife married a rich old guy it's one of the reasons I can live in Thailand and not worry about her.  She was a trophy wife and got what she wanted from me and moved on.  Good for her.  I've got what I want, a hot young Thai women and she has what she wants a rich old guy.  Who really cares?

 

 
Jealousy?? JEALOUSY??!!  

 

Look, I didn't expect my views to be popular on a forum of predominantly ageing, crotchety old men most of whom came here to have one last hurrah with the kind of attractive women they wouldn't have had two hopes of pulling in the West. The reasons for that are so well documented, it's not worth going into.

 

Much of the breakdown of law and order in advanced nations has its roots in the breakdown of the family unit; mother AND father helping to bring up a child with values but hang on a sec; here's Captain Geriatric, Giddyup who reckons you can do away with all that by just tossing the widow a check from beyond the grave. He sits there talking as if every pensioner in Thailand is actually CAPABLE of leaving a sizeable stipend or lump sum to fund a child's rearing in the event of his death. What a crock of crap . . . a significant number of them can't even afford to drink a shandy outside happy hour let alone provide for a child sired at the ripe old age of 65. 

 

You're all a bunch of complete hypocrites because I have no doubt whatsoever, that YOU yourselves make snap judgments every single day of your lives. 

 

As I said before, I don't give a damn if a pensioner wants to date or marry a woman/girl 25+ years his junior but I DO give a damn if he bitches about people making snap judgments and perhaps ridiculing both him and his ultra young wife/GF because, I GUARANTEE that that same pensioner will walk around the next bloody corner and make a snap judgment about or ridicule someone else who doesn't fit into society's norms, be they morbidly obese, a burkha-clad Muslim, a katoey, a meth-head or a beggar. 

 

Grow the hell up. Enjoy your vices but accept that there are prices to be paid for them.

 

Justify or explain whatever it is you do with your gymslip girlfriends and wives to your heart's content but deep down, in the places you'd rather not peer into too often, it's not the opinions of others that bother you.

 

It's your opinion of yourself

 

 

The great majority of older men here have legal visas and enough money in the bank verified by immigration to live comfortably in Thailand. 

 

Marriage with a woman of legal age whatever that age is not a vice.

 

There is the flaw in your argument.  If society thought it was wrong they would make it illegal.  My wife is 30 years younger than I.  She is in her 40's.  Nothing illegal about it.  I am OK with. My grown children are OK with it.  Her family is OK with it.  30 years younger no problem. 

 

I was married to a woman 30 years younger than I in the West too.  She was a dancer, great body. 
 

 

 

 

"Marriage with a woman of legal age whatever that age is not a vice." - vice is a subjective term....attempts to define it by law are always subjective and do not necessarily reflect morals....and certainly don't guarantee a genuine relationship.

 

Marriage implies sex........sex between an old man and a young woman must always to some extent reflect a pedophilia aspect in the relationship.

[wilcopops]

 

 
Lots of jealous young guys who can't get these types of dimes!

Pull yourself together man!

 

 

 

the look ion her face is worth a thousand words!

[thehelmsman]

 

 

 
Lots of jealous young guys who can't get these types of dimes!

Pull yourself together man!

 

 

 

the look ion her face is worth a thousand words!

 

 

She love too much

 

[pgrahmm]

A lot of sour grapes here...whenever I see a couple that is obviously comfortable together and have been that way for awhile..happy and at ease with one another I am happy for them regardless of age, race, etc.

What I do not like to see is a man with a woman that is constantly touching and pawing her like he just discovered a new present under the Christmas tree. ...

I am at ease when we are out and about....if others wish to judge that is their problem

[thailiketoo]

 

 

 

The great majority of older men here have legal visas and enough money in the bank verified by immigration to live comfortably in Thailand. 

 

Marriage with a woman of legal age whatever that age is not a vice.

 

There is the flaw in your argument.  If society thought it was wrong they would make it illegal.  My wife is 30 years younger than I.  She is in her 40's.  Nothing illegal about it.  I am OK with. My grown children are OK with it.  Her family is OK with it.  30 years younger no problem. 

 

I was married to a woman 30 years younger than I in the West too.  She was a dancer, great body. 
 

 

"Marriage with a woman of legal age whatever that age is not a vice." - vice is a subjective term....attempts to define it by law are always subjective and do not necessarily reflect morals....and certainly don't guarantee a genuine relationship.

 

Marriage implies sex........sex between an old man and a young woman must always to some extent reflect a pedophilia aspect in the relationship.

My wife is 40 years old and you are saying  I'm a pedophile!

 

Your post is nonsense.  Sex between consenting adults is legal and accepted all over the world.  The only pedophile is in your mind.  Get help .  The only thing reflected here is envy makes men look foolish. 

 

pe·do·phile

ˈpedəˌfīl/

noun

noun: paedophile; plural noun: paedophiles; noun: pedophile; plural noun: pedophiles

1. a person who is sexually attracted to children.

    

   Note it say children not young women.  You are 100% in error.  Pedophilia has nothing to do whatsoever with young women.  

 

Edited July 30, 2014 by thailiketoo

[canman]

I'm very comfortable seeing other people with a large age gap in their relationship - I assume it works for both parties on some level.  Love at best, employment at worst.

 

For me the half your age plus 7 rule looks about right - but I might review that I live to be 100.

The problem with that rule is it means you need to keep trading them in to keep the ratio.

 

e.g. 40 marries 27 ratio is good. 20 years later you have 60 and 47 ratio is all wrong so guy needs to trade in the 47 year old for a 37 year old to maintain the ratio.

 

Actually thats not a problem at all is it!

[1BADDAT]

 

 

 

The 24 million American sons and daughters growing up without fathers are not all doomed.

 

Successful men who have grown up without a father: President Obama and Bill Clinton, for two easy examples. I could also mention Aristotle, John Hancock, Gerald Ford, Thomas Jefferson, Frederick Douglas, Stephen King and a fraternity of other historical heroes.

 

http://www.nytimes.com/roomfordebate/2013/06/03/what-are-fathers-for/when-children-are-better-off-fatherless

 

The article referenced above is about women who would make a positive impact on their kids life if they left their abusive husbands.  Man you guys are grasping to make a point.

President Obama and Bill Clinton, for two easy examples. I could also mention Aristotle, John Hancock, Gerald Ford, Thomas Jefferson, Frederick Douglas, Stephen King and a fraternity of other historical heroes grew up without fathers.  Hardly grasping at straws.

8 cases of extreme success over 24 million fatherless children...and that applies exactly how?

 

Here's an equally relevant statistic....fatherless boys have a 37.5% chance to become an American President (based on information above)

In Thailand many children are raised by the grandparents.  I found having folks home and available to mentor me was far more important than the age or sex of the caregivers.   Your point that older parents may die is foolish anywhere but even more so in Thailand where parenting is accomplished in a larger variety of ways than the West.  They don't have many psychiatrists in Thailand because the children are happier and turn into happier adults. 

 

With 49 Million Americans on Psychiatric Drugs — Renowned Psychiatrist Issues Call for Psychiatric Drug Withdrawal

 

American children are three times more likely to be prescribed psychotropic medications for conditions such as ADHD and bipolar disease than European children are, a new study finds.

 

Differences in regulatory practices and cultural beliefs about the benefit of medication for emotional and behavioral problems may explain this dramatic difference, the U.S. researchers added.

 

Anatomy of an Epidemic Down Under: Psychiatric Drugs and the Astonishing Rise of Disabling Mental Illness in New Zealand and Australia.

 

http://www.madinamerica.com/2011/09/%EF%BB%BFanatomy-of-an-epidemic-down-under-psychiatric-drugs-and-the-astonishing-rise-of-disabling-mental-illness-in-new-zealand-and-australia/

 

 

 

So your response to the fact the the statistics you provided do not apply to the situation is to add more statistics that also don't apply?

 

[Briggsy]

There are many sensible posts in this thread but also many replete with self-delusion along the lines of "my girlfriend whose age is 40% of mine truly loves me for who I am."

 

Believe the illusion, guys. It is Thailand's speciality.

[Briggsy]

 

I'm very comfortable seeing other people with a large age gap in their relationship - I assume it works for both parties on some level.  Love at best, employment at worst.

 

For me the half your age plus 7 rule looks about right - but I might review that I live to be 100.

The problem with that rule is it means you need to keep trading them in to keep the ratio.

 

e.g. 40 marries 27 ratio is good. 20 years later you have 60 and 47 ratio is all wrong so guy needs to trade in the 47 year old for a 37 year old to maintain the ratio.

 

Actually thats not a problem at all is it!

 

 

So what you need to do is enter into a relationship under the "half your age plus 7" in order to prepare for the future.
 

[razorramone]

I'm 28. Accidentally dated an 18 year old (i didnt realise until afterwards). I felt like a dirty old man. But she seemed fine with it, as if it was normal?

 

I dated a couple of other girls who were 20 and 21, im okay with that age gap. BUT... when I met them after university and they were still in school uniform... that felt hella wierd.

[thailiketoo]

There are many sensible posts in this thread but also many replete with self-delusion along the lines of "my girlfriend whose age is 40% of mine truly loves me for who I am."

 

Believe the illusion, guys. It is Thailand's speciality.

Challenge.  Find one.  Find one that says, "My Grilfriend whose age is 40% of mine truly loves me for who I am."  Should be simple.  You said there are many.  How  many?  Not one Briggsy.  All in your mind.  

 

The myth that guys believe this is a Thai Visa specialty. 

Edited July 30, 2014 by thailiketoo

[JLCrab]

A lot of sour grapes here...whenever I see a couple that is obviously comfortable together and have been that way for awhile..happy and at ease with one another I am happy for them regardless of age, race, etc.

What I do not like to see is a man with a woman that is constantly touching and pawing her like he just discovered a new present under the Christmas tree. ...

I am at ease when we are out and about....if others wish to judge that is their problem

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=ReHhtQ6yXM4

[thehelmsman]

It's time to put the horse out of it's misery, someone please shoot it.

[1BADDAT]

 

There is the flaw in your argument.  If society thought it was wrong they would make it illegal.  My wife is 30 years younger than I.  She is in her 40's.  Nothing illegal about it.  I am OK with. My grown children are OK with it.  Her family is OK with it.  30 years younger no problem. 

 

I was married to a woman 30 years younger than I in the West too.  She was a dancer, great body. 
 

 

 

So society has made everything wrong illegal?  You can't really believe that.

 

I have absolutely no problem with anyone having the right to marry someone of legal age.  And in the situation above where you are in your 70s and she is in her 40s I say good for you if both of you are happy.

 

However someone in their 70s with a 23 year old is just plain weird and disturbing.  And even more disturbing is that someone's defense to that argument is that people are jealous of that guy.  That just shows how delusional some have become in this country. ANYONE in this country can go and get a 23 year old if they want.  They are not reserved for guys 60+

 

The original topic was if those in a relationship with a huge age gap are comfortable with it.  By the responses provided, I would say many aren't.  This is probably due to the fact that society is not comfortable about it so people stare and talk and in turn make the people in the relationship uncomfortable too.  Everyone cares what other people think to a certain extent. 

 

 

[1BADDAT]

I'm 28. Accidentally dated an 18 year old (i didnt realise until afterwards). I felt like a dirty old man. But she seemed fine with it, as if it was normal?

 

I dated a couple of other girls who were 20 and 21, im okay with that age gap. BUT... when I met them after university and they were still in school uniform... that felt hella wierd.

 

You felt like a dirty old man because you didn't follow the age gap rule of 1/2 +7 at first.  Now that you have adjusted to the right age group you should be fine.  

[brewsterbudgen]

 

Not wanting to cause offence but why did you feel the need to tell us your girl had graduated and is from a middle class family?
 
Good luck to you both but having lived with a farang girl years and years ago who was a company director I certainly didn't tell my friends and didn't really communicate with her. She was obsessed with her social standing. 
 
I don't know you nor do I wish to criticise you but why add those two little details. Was it to elevate yourself above the guys here who have met bargirls or even ladyboys as their life partner.

It's only in Thailand that people feel it's necessary to say their girlfriend/wife is "educated" or is a "professional"!
 
 

 
Lots of jealous young guys who can't get these types of dimes!

 
Does Stickman know you've used his photograph - unless of course you are Stickman!

[wilcopops]

 

 

 

 

The great majority of older men here have legal visas and enough money in the bank verified by immigration to live comfortably in Thailand. 

 

Marriage with a woman of legal age whatever that age is not a vice.

 

There is the flaw in your argument.  If society thought it was wrong they would make it illegal.  My wife is 30 years younger than I.  She is in her 40's.  Nothing illegal about it.  I am OK with. My grown children are OK with it.  Her family is OK with it.  30 years younger no problem. 

 

I was married to a woman 30 years younger than I in the West too.  She was a dancer, great body. 
 

 

"Marriage with a woman of legal age whatever that age is not a vice." - vice is a subjective term....attempts to define it by law are always subjective and do not necessarily reflect morals....and certainly don't guarantee a genuine relationship.

 

Marriage implies sex........sex between an old man and a young woman must always to some extent reflect a pedophilia aspect in the relationship.

My wife is 40 years old and you are saying  I'm a pedophile!

 

Your post is nonsense.  Sex between consenting adults is legal and accepted all over the world.  The only pedophile is in your mind.  Get help .  The only thing reflected here is envy makes men look foolish. 

 

pe·do·phile

ˈpedəˌfīl/

noun

noun: paedophile; plural noun: paedophiles; noun: pedophile; plural noun: pedophiles

1. a person who is sexually attracted to children.

    

   Note it say children not young women.  You are 100% in error.  Pedophilia has nothing to do whatsoever with young women.  

 

 

 

 

I'm saying what? Really? touched a nerve?

I think also you might check out the laws concerning age of consent and marriage around the world....you might =be shocked - just because it is "law" doesn't make it morally OK......... it means you might get away with it in some countries.

 

Big age difference in relationships are almost always exploitative or delusional.

[maanoi]

Thai people talk down about you when you are not around. They just don't say it to your face as to not embarrass you.

Sent from my GT-I9300 using Thaivisa Connect Thailand mobile app

[pgrahmm]

<script type='text/javascript'>window.mod_pagespeed_start = Number(new Date());</script>

 

 

Not wanting to cause offence but why did you feel the need to tell us your girl had graduated and is from a middle class family?
 
Good luck to you both but having lived with a farang girl years and years ago who was a company director I certainly didn't tell my friends and didn't really communicate with her. She was obsessed with her social standing. 
 
I don't know you nor do I wish to criticise you but why add those two little details. Was it to elevate yourself above the guys here who have met bargirls or even ladyboys as their life partner.

It's only in Thailand that people feel it's necessary to say their girlfriend/wife is "educated" or is a "professional"!
 
 

 
Lots of jealous young guys who can't get these types of dimes!

 
Does Stickman know you've used his photograph - unless of course you are Stickman!

 

 

A prototype of what is wrong with many of the Farangs in LOS.....spooky lookin' dude........

[Grindting]

I'm 29 and my wife is 27. how about each to their own, and everyone mind their own business?

[Sigurris]

To paraphrase John Milton; Man can make a heaven of hell or a hell of heaven in his mind.

 

Are you happy with your partner? Yes? Then enjoy and who cares what other people think. If your partner is there for different reasons than you. IT DOES NOT MATTER!!!!

 

For those of you that are offended by large age differences. WE DON'T CARE. I am offended by socks and sandals but I don't write a post about it nor do I spend time worrying about it.

 

Every person on this planet is diferent and life is too short. Carpe Diem

[Sigurris]

Thai people talk down about you when you are not around. They just don't say it to your face as to not embarrass you.

Sent from my GT-I9300 using Thaivisa Connect Thailand mobile app

 

Really? Do you think that anyone would care? People who I don't know talk negatively about me when I am not there and I should rethink my relationship?

 

Living in Pattaya I am already judged negatively by many keyboard warriors here and I don't care about that either.

 

Its not what others think, its what I think that matters.
 

Edited July 30, 2014 by Sigurris

[Tony125]

Not wanting to cause offence but why did you feel the need to tell us your girl had graduated and is from a middle class family?

 

Good luck to you both but having lived with a farang girl years and years ago who was a company director I certainly didn't tell my friends and didn't really communicate with her. She was obsessed with her social standing. 

 

I don't know you nor do I wish to criticise you but why add those two little details. Was it to elevate yourself above the guys here who have met bargirls or even ladyboys as their life partner.

Boy someone is sensitive. I mentioned it to show the OP that not all the guys are manipulating and taking advantage of poor posibly uneducated young girls. Seems she insinuates that all of  us older guys are some type of pedifiles seducing some little uneducated poor girl with money and trinkets just my trying to show that even girls who are old enough , educated and have some money can still find reasons to marry or date  an older guy.

 

Not putting down anyone who has dated/married Issan or bar girls  a few of my friends are married to their bar girls longer than I have been married and I dated bar girls when first coming here , probably 90 % of us have. My 1st  Thai G/F was a waitress and only high school educated Issan girl but we cared for each other and I helprd her become a model. The topic was do you feel comfortable with the age gap being seen in public--well I also dated black girls when I was in USA and felt comfortable as well even thought it definately  caused stares and sometimes comments. OP also asked what about the Thai girl being uncomfortable, I think if Thai or US if the girl is going out with the gentelman she is prepared for others views and would not put herself in the situation if she did not want it or could not handle it.

[canman]

 

 

I'm very comfortable seeing other people with a large age gap in their relationship - I assume it works for both parties on some level.  Love at best, employment at worst.

 

For me the half your age plus 7 rule looks about right - but I might review that I live to be 100.

The problem with that rule is it means you need to keep trading them in to keep the ratio.

 

e.g. 40 marries 27 ratio is good. 20 years later you have 60 and 47 ratio is all wrong so guy needs to trade in the 47 year old for a 37 year old to maintain the ratio.

 

Actually thats not a problem at all is it!

 

 

So what you need to do is enter into a relationship under the "half your age plus 7" in order to prepare for the future.
 

 

Yep, done that. We hit the magic ratio in a couple years.