How to politely refuse to shake hands?

[ResandePohm]

Europeans seem to want to shake hands much more often than Australians where shaking hands is only really done at very formal introductions.

That is not so

In UK it is the same as in Oz. It is only really done for formal introductions.

I have always thought it and American thing to want to shake everyone's filthy hand.

[Sealbash]

..and for those of you suggesting 'wai-ing' other farangs ... yeah right. I can't think of anything that looks so stupid other than farangs speaking 'T-English' of course

If a farang gives me a Wai, it is a fairly good indication they are new to Thailand.

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[jacko45k]

I think it is extremely rude to refuse a hand shake. I am also a little put off by the offer of the left hand knowing what it is used for in some countries.

[pagover]

Frankly, I would be more concerned about wrapping my hands around the Koozie's than shaking anybody's hand. Ever noticed that musty mold smell coming off some of those Koozie's..you know the ones that made of neoprene.. I have run across few of them that absolutely reeked. I still drink in the bars that use them...I'm the guy you see wrapping his lips around the opening and upturning into the air...down in one gulp ! whoops sorry if I made you gag!

[Berkshire]

Some Western Habits die hard...and are pretty goofy. Shaking hands has to be one of the best ways to transmit diseases and infections. Filthy habit, we have there.

Agree. The OP has a good question as I find this western habit rather annoying. A visitor straight off the plane and coughing his lungs out wants to shake my hand...what to do? Normally, I just shake the guy's hand, try not to touch any part of my face, and head for the nearest restroom to wash my hands. I rarely get sick anymore and when I do, it's usually from shaking hands with a sick person and forgetting to wash my hands immediately.

[csabo]

When they extend their hand for a shake, promptly feign a sneeze into your own. That should scare 'em off,

[peterb17]

Just how many wierdo's are there here walking around with hand sanitisers, fisting people and avoiding their own countrymen?

Maybe you don't understand the concept of fisting? If the weirdos have been fisting, I would certainly not wish to shake their hands.

Think the OP should lighten up a bit, some studies have shown there are up to 500 species of bacteria living on your skin, every single surface is covered with bacteria, your breathe in microrganisms constantly.

Our immune system and other protective measures are truly amazing .

[Rorri]

Would you refuse in a western country as well, besides, they are taking a "risk" shaking you hand.

Edited August 14, 2014 by Rorri

[ResandePohm]

..and for those of you suggesting 'wai-ing' other farangs ... yeah right. I can't think of anything that looks so stupid other than farangs speaking 'T-English' of course

I have lived many years in countries where I was not a native and have always used local customs and language when speaking to others, including other farang. It is only courteous, particularly, if there are Thais present who may not understand what is being said. If you want only to mix with farang why are you here and not in Farangland. Why should you want to compel Thais to abandon their customs and language just for you.Their customs are polite wereas your behaviour what appear discourteous and arrogant.

[Gandtee]

You are not a reincarnation of Micheal Jackson are you? Your attitude is why many westerners get sick when outside their own country. Due to hyper hygiene and cleanliness in their home country their immunity has diminished.

[pagover]

Just how many wierdo's are there here walking around with hand sanitisers, fisting people and avoiding their own countrymen?

Maybe you don't understand the concept of fisting? If the weirdos have been fisting, I would certainly not wish to shake their hands.

yeah agree, i would opt to just fist those types instead.

[alien365]

I have nothing against handshakes but if I have a glass in my hand already I just raise my glass, give a nod of the head and say hello, aye up or how do with a smile. Just get it in their before the handshake offer comes from the other person and move on with conversation rather than greetings. If I don't have a pint glass to hide behind I may give a few firm taps on the shoulder as I say hello. I've never really thought about it too much though, I just do what feels natural at the time.

[Will27]

..and for those of you suggesting 'wai-ing' other farangs ... yeah right. I can't think of anything that looks so stupid other than farangs speaking 'T-English' of course

I have lived many years in countries where I was not a native and have always used local customs and language when speaking to others, including other farang. It is only courteous, particularly, if there are Thais present who may not understand what is being said. If you want only to mix with farang why are you here and not in Farangland. Why should you want to compel Thais to abandon their customs and language just for you.Their customs are polite wereas your behaviour what appear discourteous and arrogant.

Waiing is a Thai custom.

Nothing sadder than seeing farangs wai each other

[DrTuner]

Use the barbarian trick: spit on your palm and wear a Thai grin.

[The Deerhunter]

Wear gloves. Or at least one.

That is about the only practical suggestion. I always wash my hands in toilets & then frequently have to open a door to get out, a door that someone who did not wash his hands also had to open. Door handles & steering wheels are among the most filthy things found. Also keyboards & computer mice. But, if you are in a bar, you are already surrounded by so many contaminated objects that the odd hand-shake is probably about the least of your worries. Carry a R.H. glove & put it on discreetly if introductions are likely. P.S Stay away from cultural events in New Zealand. the traditional Maori greeting is called "The Hongi" and invoves rubbing noses. BTW. Here is Prince Philip fitting into cultural sensitivity.

Edited August 14, 2014 by The Deerhunter

[lostmebike]

..and for those of you suggesting 'wai-ing' other farangs ... yeah right. I can't think of anything that looks so stupid other than farangs speaking 'T-English' of course

I have lived many years in countries where I was not a native and have always used local customs and language when speaking to others, including other farang. It is only courteous, particularly, if there are Thais present who may not understand what is being said. If you want only to mix with farang why are you here and not in Farangland. Why should you want to compel Thais to abandon their customs and language just for you.Their customs are polite wereas your behaviour what appear discourteous and arrogant.

if there are Thais present who may not understand what is being said

I was talking about wai'ing foreigners. I have and often do wai Thais. Understanding other culture's customs isn't unique to you.

If you want only to mix with farang why are you here and not in Farangland

I'm here cos I have a family, some property, land, business and a love for the country. Just cos I mentioned it looks sad wai-ing other westerners it doesn't warrant your patheitic 'go home' rant.

Why should you want to compel Thais to abandon their customs and language just for you

Can you please highlight in any of my posts here where I have hinted at such a thing. I read, write and speak Thai so kind of flies in the face your accusations.

Their customs are polite wereas your behaviour what appear discourteous and arrogant.

More wild assumptions when you really know bugger all.

Because your reply to my post was utter nonsense and crap, I will just say this, if you are comfortable wai-ing other foreigners, crack on and continue to do so ... just be aware of why others are smirking and laughing at you.

Edited August 14, 2014 by lostmebike

[watso63]

78 replies???

[Tchooptip]

I have in the past tried to avoid it by saying: "I have a bad cold so not sure you want to shake my hand".......that usually works as MOST people with a functioning brain prefer not to spend a week or more coughing, sneezing, and blowing their nose.

OK, so its kind of an obsession?

[Tchooptip]

A simple Thai Wai will do

I agree

Seems people forget that "When in Rome do as the Romans do". We are not in Falangland so a simple Wai is polite and quite sufficient.

Farang Waiing other farangs in bars is not polite its stupid!

[Gillyflower]

I'd say...if you are so worried, better not eat nor drink. All that filthy money you have to touch!! I live in a country where people (all ages and both sexes) shake hands all the time, all day. Already because I won't give the cheek kiss in air, I am considered rude. I am curious though, do you wash your hands after going to the toilet?

[xen]

If you are worried about shaking hands that might be dirty, don't handle currency that is guaranteed to be. Hands occasionally get washed, notes never do. You never know where they've been, but you can be guaranteed that they are the dirtiest thing you will ever handle.

Depending on the source of the money. of course . a lot of money is laundered . How clean can you make it otherwise !

[Alwyn]

Stop drinking outside 7-11? Go to a bar that does have a proper loo with hot water and soap dispensers? It won't make the slightest bit of difference though, there's germs everywhere, especially door handles (including the loo!). A/C units spew out germs pretty much all the time and who knows how often the de-sanitized.... I've never had a cold in 13 years in Thailand so maybe your diet is lacking in something - fresh fruit & veg? Enjoy your beer and stop worrying about stuff you can't change.

[monkeycountry]

I wash my hands at public toilets, but do not dry them, as I do not want to use a dirty towel, and the tissue paper is often not there or of a quality that dissolves and sticks to your hands. I just shake them a bit, and 5 minutes later they are dry anyway.

Once in a while I happen to have to shake hands before my hands are dry, so I simply tell the person my hands are wet, so I do not wish to shake his hands. (understood to protect him/her from having to touch my wet hands). People seem quite pleased with this approach.

My point is, noone actually checks to see if my hands are indeed wet, so I suppose that excuse could always be used, even if ones hands are not actually wet.

[thairastawoman]

Also like this contry because we touch each others less than in the west.

To avoid to shake hand just tell them sorry but there was no toilet paper and you had to use your hand after poop ?

[AjarnP]

Surely "politely refusing a handshake" is an oxymoron isn't it?

[ResandePohm]

I think it is extremely rude to refuse a hand shake. I am also a little put off by the offer of the left hand knowing what it is used for in some countries.

Well Jacko consider that if they are Thai they have probably done a Wai previously, thus transfering whatever was on the left hand to the right. Hence a Wai is safer

[ALFREDO]

-pomchop-

Just make a WAI and overlook the hand.

[thejcb]

One of the only things in Thailand I like is that their custom is to Wai.

This is great for me because NOT ONLY don't I have to shake hands but ALSO as I am old git I only have to Wai back sometimes

However, what really pisses me off is when a Thai wants to shake my hand. Why do they do that , it is their country.

If they put their hand out I have no option but to wai them so I don't have to return this silly hand shake we stupid westerners think is so good.

So I agree with OP, its stupid custom, I don;t know where it stemmed from.

I don't go around shaking everyone's hand in England, why do we all have to do it in Thailand, especially the English.

Edited August 14, 2014 by thejcb

[attrayant]

Avoiding shaking hands for the reasons stated in the OP is just outright paranoid germophobia and you need to get over it. Even if the person's hands are harboring urinal backsplash, you're not in any danger unless you have gaping wounds on your palms or you immediately rub your eyes or lick your fingers after shaking hands.

My Thai students are a bit shy about shaking hands because it's foreign to them, and I suspect some of them might be germophobic as well, but as I tell them in my hygiene class: keep your hands away from your damn face!

No matter how clean you think your hands are, if you've grabbed a door knob or held onto a banister or pushed an elevator call button, or pushed against the arm of the chair as you got up, your hands are only as clean as the last person who performed that same action.

Now, if their hands are visibly dirty (perhaps they've just finished changing the oil in their car or packing the bearings in the gearbox), then feel free to let them know that their hands look dirty and you're not interested in shaking them. But do it in a funny way to relieve tension and avoid embarrassment. For example, say "I'd love to shake your hand but they look absolutely filthy". Or perhaps, "was that finger just in your nose?" I doubt that most of us will ever have this opportunity because normal people with filthy hands won't offer them up for shaking in the first place.

[Tony125]

"To refuse a handshake is a breach of etiquette in the western world

You can soften it a little by explaining your postion

but the overall effect will not be as positive as simply shaking the hand."

I agree, simply carry the bottle of hand sanitser with you or I carry Kleenex AntiBacterial wipes available at 7-11 and other places wich you can use at bathrooms and other places.