My partner does not communicate

[dagobert]

Think very carefully what you choose to do you might not get another chance like this

again.

Until she has done something wrong to make you leave.

Keep your hand on your pocket, live together equaly, and show enthusiasm.

It will work its self out.

[Krataiboy]

I'm no Marje Proops, but I'd say the writing is on the wall for the two of you. She actually says you are boring. You have virtually no communication and sex is already out of the window. You are clearly as indifferent about her as she is about you. I suspect she is just jogging along, waiting for Mr Right to appear before giving you the heave-ho. Grow some balls and beat her to it.

[Cuddlycat]

Could you remember any situation which made she said you are boring?

Are you two have some space? I mean a chance to do thing alone? I remember you mentioned you go to gym. But does she have time to do her own things such as go to mall alone and live the lifestyle she used to have before you move in?

Do you help her with any chores?

Find a good day to sit her down. Tell her you need HELP. When you ask her if something is wrong and get answer is "nothing", you feel there is something.

Tell her that you believe us best to communicate to each others. Tell her that you are here to listen if she hold something in her chest. If she still says nothing don't push her. Just say you love her and you care and she can tell you anything once she is ready to open up.

Give her some space, a time to think it through. Hopefully she will open up.

Apology for my poor English

Sent from my iPhone using Thaivisa Connect Thailand mobile app

[dagobert]

Good post "Cuddlycat"

A Thai womans perspective,

Work it out....

Instead of the male farang thing of "just run"

[AlexRRR]

Ive gone through 6 pages of this post and amazed at some of the replies, its pretty obvious no one has much of an idea on how to tackle your problem if they were faced with it, my reply is as follows.

Trust yourself, know yourself, know what you want, know what you will and wont accept.

Its pure bulls**t about Thai's and communication, many of my western gfs lacked it too, women stop or turn off sex when the relationship is breaking down, lot of men too.

You say a lot of nice things about her too, its possible both of you cant say goodbye, my friend the only way your ever going to fix your problem is by talking about it, if either of you dont know what the issues are with the other how in the hell can you find a solution.

Stop making excuses for this or that stop trying to guess, sit her down and tell her the best way you can, write it down if you have to, intelligent well educated Thai women do well with the written word, tell her where you think this relationships at, if you cant get her to open up then you only have one avenue if your true to yourself.

Ive had a ex TGF (5ys) who was quite like a mouse when issues arose it ended she wouldn't communicate, 12 months later she tells me i should have just told her what to do i told her i dont make demands i asked you twice up to you to listen and negotiate, i can tell you she is a better person now with her new guy.

[Straight8]

Ive gone through 6 pages of this post and amazed at some of the replies, its pretty obvious no one has much of an idea on how to tackle your problem if they were faced with it, my reply is as follows.

Trust yourself, know yourself, know what you want, know what you will and wont accept.

Its pure bulls**t about Thai's and communication, many of my western gfs lacked it too, women stop or turn off sex when the relationship is breaking down, lot of men too.

You say a lot of nice things about her too, its possible both of you cant say goodbye, my friend the only way your ever going to fix your problem is by talking about it, if either of you dont know what the issues are with the other how in the hell can you find a solution.

Stop making excuses for this or that stop trying to guess, sit her down and tell her the best way you can, write it down if you have to, intelligent well educated Thai women do well with the written word, tell her where you think this relationships at, if you cant get her to open up then you only have one avenue if your true to yourself.

Ive had a ex TGF (5ys) who was quite like a mouse when issues arose it ended she wouldn't communicate, 12 months later she tells me i should have just told her what to do i told her i dont make demands i asked you twice up to you to listen and negotiate, i can tell you she is a better person now with her new guy.

Well since no one else here has much of an idea, we can agree the OP's problems are now resolved and this thread be closed, thanks to your input.

[JLCrab]

I don't have the slightest bit of advice to offer the OP. I just get a kick reading when anyone posts that they have a problem with or concern about Thai female-dom and then reading from all the hoi polloi who come on and give their notions about how they've got it all figured out.

[csabo]

Both of you should write down a list of what you want in life and out of a relationship. If the lists are not fairly close then are you both willing to modify your needs/desires? If not it's a matter of time before it fails. The thing about time with regards to relationships and love is that it is precious. The purpose of your life is to enjoy sharing it happily with a mate, in my opinion. DON'T WASTE TIME. Do something about this today. Do not let money, hurt feelings, or the expectation of future failure discourage you. Life and relationships are ups and downs. This is a DOWN for you. Next comes an UP. Stop reading this and go get it. Before I came here I had a long dragged out breakup. My GF here makes me feel like a god. I return the favor at every opportunity.

[JDGRUEN]

I think that there is quite a bit of good advice posted here for the OP... A relationship can only be fixed if both partners want it fixed... And from what little we know of the lady here .... it is not fixable ... Sex is gone, communication is gone - never was very good, her interest in him seems to be gone... I'd say go find someone compatible - some relationships just cannot be fixed ... the biggest mistake I see most people making (and did it my self in earlier relationships) is not leaving soon enough - hanging around for it to magically get better and it never did - got wrorse. Hit the road Jack...

[choochoo]

When i read on these boards about all the problems guys have with Thai women ,i just cannot understand why so many have a problem ,in 24 years i had 2 Thai girlfiends here and in the UK both were really nice and no problem at all ,we just broke up on good terms ,my wife is a little ,(not little she is quite tall) treasure ,hard working ,loving and has been a great mum ,both in the UK and here in Thailand . the only thing i can think is that either the guy is not the best partner or they came here on a two week holiday and fell in love with the first bar girl with no manners or education that they rogered. apart from that ,i know shit happens even to the best of us ,but those guys rarely write their experiences down .

And talking about the first girl they rogered ,i have an aquaintance coming back soon who has"fallen in love" he thinks she is back at the farm waiting for him ,in fact she is still in the bar ,and going to meet him at the airport and take him home ,question ,should i tell him? the wife says ,as he isnt a good friend let him make his own mistakes ,he wont thank you.

Oh ,to the op ,move on lifes to short.

If he is your friend you should tell him now so he can make up his mind about what he wants to do about it. If he still want to go for it at least you warned him.

Hey BB, have you ever had a friend in a similar situation??

Let me tell you and Claudius can probably concur, these types of guys are like a runaway train. Brains are packed at the airport, money no problem [pockets full] they're in LOVE!! You can show them conclusive evidence and it won't make an ounce of difference. In order to keep your friendship with them [some are good friends] you just gotta sit back and watch the train wreck!!

I use to shake my head at the stupidity displayed by people I would read online, but when you see it happening to those you know, you begin to appreciate how lucky you are not to be in that league.. the elite I call them!!

there this concept that stupidity people dont know they are stupid. Applies to this op-sorry to say.

On another side bar ugly people know they are ugly.......................lol.

[Thongkorn]

Its Thai culture not to talk a lot, and bad manners to shout, after years of indoctrination how do you think she can change quickly. I know a lot of Thai Females, all married, before some nasty comments, and all happy, they do come out of there shell but it takes time and patience. Now can any one tel me how to shut the Mrs up now please.

[JLCrab]

The only two Thai females I've ever been close to I don't believe ever had a shell.

[AnotherOneAmerican]

The only two Thai females I've ever been close to I don't believe ever had a shell.

But they both had Crabs!

Edited August 16, 2014 by AnotherOneAmerican

[Cypress Hill]

Married to the same (Thai) woman for 9 yrs. What I have learned;

1-Thai women (presumably) all Asian women in Asia, are raised to run the household, finances included. They make most of the decisions. This is a big problem for most Western men. We are raised to wear the pants in the family.

Strange.

I thought Western men came to Thailand and other parts of Asia so, after years of emasculation by big, bad Western women, they could FINALLY realise their dream of being master in their own home.

This could be why so many men are miserable in Thailand.

[Dirtyslag]

You are still trying g to figure out women, are you?

Good luck with that.

My wife is one of the best communicators I have met, so I can't really help you as I haven't experienced what you are talking about.

Generally with women, they either talk too much or don't talk at all... You pick one or the other.

Best of luck.

Gospel...

[neverdie]

You are still trying g to figure out women, are you?

Good luck with that.

My wife is one of the best communicators I have met, so I can't really help you as I haven't experienced what you are talking about.

Generally with women, they either talk too much or don't talk at all... You pick one or the other.

Best of luck.

Gospel...

Hello Dirty Slag.

You look wonderful tonight. Long time no see.

I am honoured that you used your first post to acknowledge the superiority of my words. THANKYOU.

Edited August 16, 2014 by neverdie

[keestha]

OP, be glad there are no kids involved, and also you are not running a business together with her. If there really seems to be no way to make this into a satisfying relationship, though you did all you could do, going from a bad marriage to being alone is a wonderful experience from day 1, mind clear, burden off your shoulders.

[siamsomjit]

RUN forest RUN

[JDGRUEN]

Married to the same (Thai) woman for 9 yrs. What I have learned;

1-Thai women (presumably) all Asian women in Asia, are raised to run the household, finances included. They make most of the decisions. This is a big problem for most Western men. We are raised to wear the pants in the family.

Strange.

I thought Western men came to Thailand and other parts of Asia so, after years of emasculation by big, bad Western women, they could FINALLY realise their dream of being master in their own home.

This could be why so many men are miserable in Thailand.

I learned my lesson in American back in the 90's and took decisive action in my Thailand situation based on lessons learned... it had nothing to do with emasculation - or attempts at it - it had to do in my case and I think in OP's case to do with an unrealistic expectations on her part for immediate enrichment ... In my Thailand situation, I spent a month figuring it out once it became evident what her real attitude was and didn't wait around be to controlled and dominated. Some things can't be fixed - and even if it could - I will not waste years finding out... Fool me once - my fault -- fool me twice - no way...

Since that time I have met several nice Thai ladies and have several more Thai women friends - one of whom just might turn out to be the right one... but for now ... not in any hurry...

I left the emasculating female types back in America ...

(Now I know an earlier comment I made was correct)...

[Cuddlycat]

OP:

You mentioned "since we met she always have a serious face and trust issues. She never talk about anything"

Does it mean that you met online, chat for quite sometimes and find out about those you had mentioned?

Or you knew about these matters since the beginning but hopefully she would change by the times goes by?

People who has trust issues barely changed. You will find that it's frustrated and annoying. Only you can do is ignore it.

If she is a kind if person who dislike to talk about feeling, you can't change her. An independent person dislike people who tries to change their lives but accept and take them for who they are. People just learn to compromise to their mate. But noone likes to be push to change.

As a Thai woman and perhaps elder than your GF, even you think sex is not a problem but it's a PART of relationship. It brings you two closer. Believe it or not, it reduced stress.

Not many Thai women (I have no idea about Farang women will demand you to make love to them unless you talk openly since the beginning about it in your relationship. Sometimes women just give you a hint with body language when she wants one. I personally believe that this is a part of a problem.

If I may suggest even I wonder what so I know? Help her to pay utilities bills. Help her with the chores. If she still refuse just tell her she can pay a ticket movies for tomorrow night or whenever. If she gives you a money (as you mentioned you are good about it and don't need it from her) just say "thank you but I am doing fine. It makes me feel better if you keep it. If I need help I'll let you know" etc.....

Just a question, are you working?

Sent from my iPhone using Thaivisa Connect Thailand mobile app

[Turok]

Why do you need a girlfriend or wife? Its time that men stop getting caught up in this! What benefits are there for a man to marry any woman from any culture ? I don't understand you guys who willingly put yourselves into a form of slavery where you can lose everything? Have you guys lost your ballls? It must be TBS. Tiny ball syndrome. You love to torture yourself with ballads, broads and bullshit!!

Guys. Please Opt Out of this gf/marriage idea.

OP. Drop that bitch and run for the hills. Get out. Be free again and don't do it again!!!

Turok

[choochoo]

has op come back and said we all are wrong.....................lol. That we dont understand thai kulture.

Edited August 17, 2014 by choochoo

[laislica]

Why do you need a girlfriend or wife? Its time that men stop getting caught up in this! What benefits are there for a man to marry any woman from any culture ? I don't understand you guys who willingly put yourselves into a form of slavery where you can lose everything? Have you guys lost your ballls? It must be TBS. Tiny ball syndrome. You love to torture yourself with ballads, broads and bullshit!!

Guys. Please Opt Out of this gf/marriage idea.

OP. Drop that bitch and run for the hills. Get out. Be free again and don't do it again!!!

Turok

Well, it's called commitment.

You can gain a high level of mutual trust.

This allows you both to relax and allows the usual stress to evaporate.

If you spend your life being suspicious of everyone, it must be a kind of hell.

Where is home for you under your "run for the hills" attitude?

Where and when can you relax?

You must always be sober and on your guard, no one "has your back", otherwise you will be at risk.

You must be quite fit with all that running though LOL

[theguyfromanotherforum]

has op come back and said we all are wrong.....................lol. That we dont understand thai kulture.

?????

Please.... do try to sound a little intelligent. Lol

[dagobert]

Uhhh da ah urrr

[Thongkorn]

The only two Thai females I've ever been close to I don't believe ever had a shell.

But they both had Crabs!

They maybe got them from your sex tourist mates

Edited August 19, 2014 by Thongkorn

[dagobert]

Dont blame it on tha good times, dont blame it on tha sunshine, blame it on tha boogie.

[Datebayo]

Clearly she is displaying her unhappiness with your cheap charlie ways, living in her home for free? Ya think?

[theguyfromanotherforum]

Clearly she is displaying her unhappiness with your cheap charlie ways, living in her home for free? Ya think?

In a country where most men pay for the privilege of having a gf I can understand your jealousy.

[Straight8]

Clearly she is displaying her unhappiness with your cheap charlie ways, living in her home for free? Ya think?

In a country where most men pay for the privilege of having a gf I can understand your jealousy.

I'm with you on this one. It's freakin high time the roles were reversed. Kudos to you for managing this feat & use it to your advantage for all its worth, cause you know what, this is what 99% of the Thai females are doing as I write.

Outside of this though, even living rent free does not compensate for being with this woman from what you describe.