Why do Western men marry Thai girls of ill-repute?

[AnotherOneAmerican]

PS

I only mix with foreigners who are fully funded from overseas on totally legit VISAs.

Really? And after you check the validity of their visas, do then give their passport your stamp of approval? Goodness me!!! Get over ya self mate...

I wouldn't have clue... nor care, what type of visas my mates are on, unless they offer that up in normal conversation.. I take people as I find them, prostitutes included, and make my mind up based on my personal experiences with them... we are all individuals...

I agree,

If you have nothing, you don't need to be careful.

But a couple of points you might wish to consider, even if you have nothing,

When sitting in a room with people playing cards, the police raid arrests everyone in the room.

When police are tipped off about a person on overstay, the raid nets all foreigners nearby.

It is a little inconvenient to be dragged off to a police cell, until you can produce your passport.

And the cells aren't all that pleasant. Choose your friends carefully.

Edited September 19, 2014 by AnotherOneAmerican

[Aree Wongwanlee]

Seriously speaking, if you want to be really safe, you don't even have to choose your friends. Just don't have any friends. That's very easy to do when you live on a desert island with a total human population of one. Unless you also count the monkeys.

[Munger]

Quote from a farang " you don't call them prostitutes you call them bar girls in Thailand"..the delusion starts from the outset and the game is played thereafter by both sides.

The word prostitute is to harsh, BUT the same thin skinned people will tell you they hate all the PC nonsense.

[SoiBiker]

Why is it too harsh?

I think it's funny the way some hide behind ridiculous euphemisms like bar girl, naughty nightlife etc as if somehow makes what they're doing more palatable. They're whores, and you're a whoremonger. If you're willing to parade down the street with one, you might as well be honest about it.

[Ulysses G.]

I prefer for them to meet me in my room and I don't care what anyone calls them, as long as it is polite.

Edited September 20, 2014 by Ulysses G.

[Sigurris]

Maybe someone should do a poll. Say you meet a girl in a shop, you date her for a while and eventually live with her or marry her. A year into the relationship she reveals that for six months she worked in a bar when she was young to pay for her mums operation or something like that.

What are you going to do? Divorce her because she was a bargirl or because she didn't fully disclose.

Answer that question honestly and you will know what your relationship to your partner is. No need to disclose it here but just ask yourself.

[thailiketoo]

Maybe someone should do a poll. Say you meet a girl in a shop, you date her for a while and eventually live with her or marry her. A year into the relationship she reveals that for six months she worked in a bar when she was young to pay for her mums operation or something like that.

What are you going to do? Divorce her because she was a bargirl or because she didn't fully disclose.

Answer that question honestly and you will know what your relationship to your partner is. No need to disclose it here but just ask yourself.

I asked my grown children if their mom yelled at her new husband like she yelled at me. They rolled their eyes and said, "you mean the princess at her castle in Colorado getting upset at his majesty, pshaw, no way."

I kinda figured that. Fitzgerald's words in his short story "The Rich Boy" (1926), paragraph 3: "Let me tell you about the very rich. They are different from you and me.

[SoiBiker]

I prefer for them to meet me in my room and I don't care what anyone calls them, as long as it is polite.

Indeed. And "whore" isn't polite, but says a lot about the attitude of the person who uses it!

It's an unpleasant business whatever you call it. Even if you call them bar girls and pretend they enjoy it.

[AnotherOneAmerican]

Maybe someone should do a poll. Say you meet a girl in a shop, you date her for a while and eventually live with her or marry her. A year into the relationship she reveals that for six months she worked in a bar when she was young to pay for her mums operation or something like that.

What are you going to do? Divorce her because she was a bargirl or because she didn't fully disclose.

Answer that question honestly and you will know what your relationship to your partner is. No need to disclose it here but just ask yourself.

And now the same question, but she had worked in a Pattaya go-go for 20 years?

[dhream]

Why would you come to 'monger central and then get married anyway? Talk about half-baked.

The late lad-mag tycoon Felix Denis famously said, "If it floats, flies, or fornicates -rent it, it's ALWAYS cheaper in the end".

Given these facts, 'stupidity' would be a contributing factor in a significant number of cases, why do you ask, two dogs?

Edited September 20, 2014 by dhream

[dhream]

I prefer for them to meet me in my room and I don't care what anyone calls them, as long as it is polite.

Indeed. And "whore" isn't polite, but says a lot about the attitude of the person who uses it!

It's an unpleasant business whatever you call it. Even if you call them bar girls and pretend they enjoy it.

And you are qualified to pass judgement on 'the business' and the state of mind, much less the psychological motivations, of the participants, because?

[dhream]

Maybe someone should do a poll. Say you meet a girl in a shop, you date her for a while and eventually live with her or marry her. A year into the relationship she reveals that for six months she worked in a bar when she was young to pay for her mums operation or something like that.

What are you going to do? Divorce her because she was a bargirl or because she didn't fully disclose.

Answer that question honestly and you will know what your relationship to your partner is. No need to disclose it here but just ask yourself.

The point I think the OP makes in his question is KNOWINGLY marry a sex worker.

To take your hypothesis to an absurd conclusion, If I pay for dinner and drinks on a date, then we have a one-night stand, is it prostitution? Or was she just having her needs met too?

This whole thread is loaded with absurdity and hypocrisy borne of mostly religious value-judgements about female sexuality.

Setting aside the true criminality of underage and coerced prostitution, enough prostitutes have come forward in recent times to declare they are their own persons, and see no reason to not get paid for what they'd be giving away anyway.

Long may they prosper! And as soon as the world in general, stops being so screwed-up about screwing, the healthier, mentally and physically (less untreated disease) society will become, and the less women will fall prey to the cockroaches who exploit its murky legal status everywhere.

No adult has any valid moral right to dictate how other consenting adults behave in private. And yet there are legions of these condescending rule-setters poking their blue noses into our bedrooms from Bangkok to Bangor. Well, the puritan age is long over, do try to keep up!

Edited September 20, 2014 by dhream

[AnotherOneAmerican]

To take your hypothesis to an absurd conclusion, If I pay for dinner and drinks on a date, then we have a one-night stand, is it prostitution? Or was she just having her needs met too?

No, that's a normal dinner date.

Prostitutes exchange sex for cash, if the process is indirect, they aren't prostitutes.

[slipperylobster]

To take your hypothesis to an absurd conclusion, If I pay for dinner and drinks on a date, then we have a one-night stand, is it prostitution? Or was she just having her needs met too?

No, that's a normal dinner date.

Prostitutes exchange sex for cash, if the process is indirect, they aren't prostitutes.

At the end of a dinner date, it would be nice to tell the girl that she must pay the bill, because if the man paid, she might feel obliged to have sex. That way you win, either way...and you know if she is going to invite you in her home or not, later on.

[dhream]

Seems to me there are just a lot of assumptions and stereotypes. When you see a Thai girl with a Falang, do you really know how they met, what is her history or what is his history?

well if I see a Thai women with a falang and she has tattoos, smoking, dressed like a slut and talking badly and wearing too much tacky gold, I am pretty sure what she is and where they met, and that's not at University!

So true! And if you see an ethnic Chinese-Thai woman dressed casually walking in a mall with an American guy and there is a 13-year-old son in tow who is complaining about having to there then the chances are that's us. My wife LOVES to shop but she always buys for everyone and even let's me wait in the car with a book to read if she spends to much $$$ and time in the women's department. My question is aren't the guys on this thread even SLIGHTLY embarrassed when they marry hookers? I see these guys and their "wives" in droves when I go to get my visa extension and they are a real eye sore. I can't believe that some people consider marrying a hooker normal and acceptable behavior. My motto is that if you're worried what your mom would think of her then she is not marrying material.

And the same goes for you guys who think it's "normal" to marry some Thai woman 20, 30, or 40 years younger than you. Get a life.

an eyesore in what way?

You know, the fat middle-aged farang with the short, dark-skinned girl who's in her 20s or 30s but looks older and "worn out" and has that rough, gravel voice. If I were an immigration officer I would be finding all kinds of ways to make it as hard as possible to get the guy a visa extension.

But what if they are in love ?

That's rather smug of you lot (not sure who is who among all this WASP backslapping). While I personally think marrying most (not all) working girls is a dumb move, and marrying someone more than 15 years your junior is most unwise, and granted, does not 'look' that great in public. I don't feel the need to assume the moral high ground, or pass judgement on someones choices or their partners 'slutty' appearance. I love watching them totter around in heels and minis, why not! The mall is dreary and tedious insult to the senses at best, and lust is just a reminder I'm fully alive.

If you don't like it, fine, but frankly, what makes your choice any more valid, or somehow more ennobling? If you are all that bothered about some baldy fat old sad sack who's channeling Woody and Soon Yi in his relationship, then maybe you are the one who needs to get a life, or just admit you wish you had the brass to go get one like that!

[Ulysses G.]

To take your hypothesis to an absurd conclusion, If I pay for dinner and drinks on a date, then we have a one-night stand, is it prostitution? Or was she just having her needs met too?

No, that's a normal dinner date.

Prostitutes exchange sex for cash, if the process is indirect, they aren't prostitutes.

Some people would refer to such a woman as a slut - which is just as negative a term as a whore - but I am not one of them.

[Thai at Heart]

Seems to me there are just a lot of assumptions and stereotypes. When you see a Thai girl with a Falang, do you really know how they met, what is her history or what is his history?

well if I see a Thai women with a falang and she has tattoos, smoking, dressed like a slut and talking badly and wearing too much tacky gold, I am pretty sure what she is and where they met, and that's not at University!

So true! And if you see an ethnic Chinese-Thai woman dressed casually walking in a mall with an American guy and there is a 13-year-old son in tow who is complaining about having to there then the chances are that's us. My wife LOVES to shop but she always buys for everyone and even let's me wait in the car with a book to read if she spends to much $$$ and time in the women's department. My question is aren't the guys on this thread even SLIGHTLY embarrassed when they marry hookers? I see these guys and their "wives" in droves when I go to get my visa extension and they are a real eye sore. I can't believe that some people consider marrying a hooker normal and acceptable behavior. My motto is that if you're worried what your mom would think of her then she is not marrying material.

And the same goes for you guys who think it's "normal" to marry some Thai woman 20, 30, or 40 years younger than you. Get a life.

an eyesore in what way?

You know, the fat middle-aged farang with the short, dark-skinned girl who's in her 20s or 30s but looks older and "worn out" and has that rough, gravel voice. If I were an immigration officer I would be finding all kinds of ways to make it as hard as possible to get the guy a visa extension.

The mere fact that he is probably feedingultiple generations of a family is patently lost on you.

Immigration should be helping him as a national hero

[dhream]

To take your hypothesis to an absurd conclusion, If I pay for dinner and drinks on a date, then we have a one-night stand, is it prostitution? Or was she just having her needs met too?

No, that's a normal dinner date.

Prostitutes exchange sex for cash, if the process is indirect, they aren't prostitutes.

OK so why is the fact that cash is paid directly for a service, taboo? Why is 'prostitution' so wrong? If sex on a dinner-date is 'normal'?

If she mowed my lawn that's Ok, if she cooks my dinner, that's OK, if she even gives me a non sexual massage that's Ok, why is sexual relief then not OK? Stripped, as it were of how one processes it mentally (this vague amorphous thing called morality) where in any other logical sense, is the problem?

[dhream]

To take your hypothesis to an absurd conclusion, If I pay for dinner and drinks on a date, then we have a one-night stand, is it prostitution? Or was she just having her needs met too?

No, that's a normal dinner date.

Prostitutes exchange sex for cash, if the process is indirect, they aren't prostitutes.

Some people would refer to such a woman as a slut - which is just as negative a term as a whore - but I am not one of them.

Some people should spend some time inside a female skin. Say a month, so they get the whole ovulation cycle experience too, wonder how they'd judge the other gender then? We men have a lot to answer for the way women are to a large degree neurotic about a normal healthy human drive that should be celebrated and indulged.

[Munger]

Maybe someone should do a poll. Say you meet a girl in a shop, you date her for a while and eventually live with her or marry her. A year into the relationship she reveals that for six months she worked in a bar when she was young to pay for her mums operation or something like that.

What are you going to do? Divorce her because she was a bargirl or because she didn't fully disclose.

Answer that question honestly and you will know what your relationship to your partner is. No need to disclose it here but just ask yourself.

"To pay for mums operation", she went on the game to make 30 baht to pay for the operation. Please dont believe what the prostitutes tell you. Nuff said.

[AnotherOneAmerican]

To take your hypothesis to an absurd conclusion, If I pay for dinner and drinks on a date, then we have a one-night stand, is it prostitution? Or was she just having her needs met too?

No, that's a normal dinner date.

Prostitutes exchange sex for cash, if the process is indirect, they aren't prostitutes.

OK so why is the fact that cash is paid directly for a service, taboo? Why is 'prostitution' so wrong? If sex on a dinner-date is 'normal'?

If she mowed my lawn that's Ok, if she cooks my dinner, that's OK, if she even gives me a non sexual massage that's Ok, why is sexual relief then not OK? Stripped, as it were of how one processes it mentally (this vague amorphous thing called morality) where in any other logical sense, is the problem?

I was merely correcting your definition, I have not stated if it is in any way right or wrong.

[AnotherOneAmerican]

Some people should spend some time inside a female skin. Say a month, so they get the whole ovulation cycle experience too, wonder how they'd judge the other gender then? We men have a lot to answer for the way women are to a large degree neurotic about a normal healthy human drive that should be celebrated and indulged.

I would be more than happy to spend 5 years as a woman,

In that time I would expect to get married, have two kids, then divorce the guy, getting his house, alimony and child maint.

Being a woman would be brilliant, free money for life!

Edited September 20, 2014 by AnotherOneAmerican

[thailiketoo]

OK so why is the fact that cash is paid directly for a service, taboo? Why is 'prostitution' so wrong? If sex on a dinner-date is 'normal'?

If she mowed my lawn that's Ok, if she cooks my dinner, that's OK, if she even gives me a non sexual massage that's Ok, why is sexual relief then not OK? Stripped, as it were of how one processes it mentally (this vague amorphous thing called morality) where in any other logical sense, is the problem?

In civilized countries it is legal. The discussion of legal tender is another issue altogether. Are dinner coupons legal tender? I guess it would depend on the restaurant and how hungry you were.

[SoiBiker]

Same old same old from Thai visa. Buying a lady dinner is the same as prostitution. All women aspire to trapping a man into marriage and fleecing him.

No wonder people laugh at this place, and you guys couldn't get laid back home.

[Ulysses G.]

I have a feeling that you can't even get laid here.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/7095134.stm

Edited September 20, 2014 by Ulysses G.

[SoiBiker]

I didn't come here to get laid. Not everybody did you know.

[AnotherOneAmerican]

Same old same old from Thai visa. Buying a lady dinner is the same as prostitution. All women aspire to trapping a man into marriage and fleecing him.

No wonder people laugh at this place, and you guys couldn't get laid back home.

Apparently, you can't get laid here either.

555 UG beat me!

Edited September 20, 2014 by AnotherOneAmerican

[thailiketoo]

I prefer for them to meet me in my room and I don't care what anyone calls them, as long as it is polite.

Indeed. And "whore" isn't polite, but says a lot about the attitude of the person who uses it!

It's an unpleasant business whatever you call it. Even if you call them bar girls and pretend they enjoy it.

So how do you know they don't enjoy it? You obviously have a lot of experience in this area what clues should we look for that indicate not enjoying?

[SoiBiker]

If they enjoyed it, you wouldn't have to pay them.

[thailiketoo]

If they enjoyed it, you wouldn't have to pay them.

You mean that anything you get paid for is not enjoyable? Tiger Woods does not enjoy playing golf? Chefs don't enjoy cooking? Dancers don't enjoy dancing? I've always enjoyed my jobs and I think most people who are happy do. So.....really. How can you really tell that they don't enjoy it?

Edited September 20, 2014 by thailiketoo