Why do Western men marry Thai girls of ill-repute?

[thailiketoo]

I would imagine by the time they marry, their past is behind them and is of no consequence.

Nonsense, they (the losers) would not marry a prostitute from their own countries.

Of course they would. I don't think your definition of loser is accurate. Losers are fellows who judge other fellows by their marital choices. Every marriage is a winner and every marriage is a loser. It's up to you how you play the hand.

[AnotherOneAmerican]

The old sayings, "Once a bar girl, always a bar girl" and "you can take bar girl out of the bar, but not the bar out of the bar girl" come to mind. Go ahead and marry who you want, but I think the risk of marrying a bargirl is much greater than a girl met in more morally acceptable ways. The risk being if the bargirl wife gets bored, the money runs slow, etc., she knows where to go and what to do. I've met many bargirls who were previously married to a farang and moved overseas with him, only to claim boredom, confinement, money dried up, etc. and they high tailed it back to the LOS and "re-entered the workforce". Of course they leave the bloke AFTER lining their pockets first.

Are there any women who leave a bloke without lining their pockets?

[AnotherOneAmerican]

I would imagine by the time they marry, their past is behind them and is of no consequence.

Nonsense, they (the losers) would not marry a prostitute from their own countries.

Did you mix with prostitutes in your own country?

That would make you a loser.

[maoro]

The important thing is what the girl is like in the future, what does the past matter?

[canuckamuck]

How do you find out what she is like in the future? Do you have a Delorean?

[wilcopops]

Because they are uneducated ignorant arrogant, sexist racist and overweight, completely incapable of a normal relationship and no self-respecting woman would want to go anywhere near them.

[Pungdo]

Who can be sure that some lovely western women in her late 20's or early 30's at some stage wasn't a hooker, (see the scenario below) ????

There are plenty of well educated Thai girls with respectable jobs, who resorted to "Hawk the Fork" to make ends meet from time to time, while they go to uni etc etc, so do they fall into the filthy bar tart category as well and how would you know if that had been the case ????

[maprao]

Because they are uneducated ignorant arrogant, sexist racist and overweight, completely incapable of a normal relationship and no self-respecting woman would want to go anywhere near them.

That sounds like my ex wife in the UK talking. She lives alone and my current wife after three kids and in her forties could still find a new husband in 5 minutes. But at least the ex in the UK can be self respecting ALONE!

[Rykbanlor]

Most men just want a wife that will have sex with them whenever they want, and maybe produce a few babies.

These girls usually fulfil the first criteria nicely.

Cheaper than the respectable western ladies, that produce a few babies, never have sex again, then want your house and pension.

You just won the Rykbanlor cup for greatest sweeping generalisation of the day. 555

[GuyL]

Because they are uneducated ignorant arrogant, sexist racist and overweight, completely incapable of a normal relationship and no self-respecting woman would want to go anywhere near them.

And moreover, they are making broad generalisations most of the time!

[Yann55]

Why do Western men marry Thai girls of ill-repute?

Lemme think...

Because they can't find Western girls of whatever repute who are willing to marry them ?

Because there aren't that many Thai girls of non ill-repute (especially the wealthy ones) who are willing to marry a Westerner ?

Because Thai girls of ill-repute are no fools, and they demand marriage in exchange for whatever it is they can give ?

Because they can ?

Because they're in love and totally amazed (not to mention blinded) by the fact ?

Because they are in a different culture, and not knowing the codes, they judge people (not just girls) differently ?

Edited September 10, 2014 by Yann55

[ebean001]

It is like this worldwide in the poorer countries. Foreign men marry lots of bar girls.

I know many bar girls. there are some you should never marry. they think they want to marry but they should never get married. They will get bored quickly.

there are others that should be married and stop working as bar girls. they would make sonder wives.

So - like many farangs who have been totally brain washed about everything in life - it boils down to the woman. There are tons of non-bar girls who would make horrible wives. I understand there are professional woman in thailand who would look down on you as being a stupid sex wanting farang. You are low class to them. so the shoe fits on the other foot too. you will never get one of them to marry such a low class as yourself. and, of course, such a low class as ME, also.

[charliebru]

Probably because after meeting these women you find out they are a lot of fun, good sexually, smart, and just good to be with - in short many of the qualities you look for in a lifetime mate. Circumstances force many of these women into the work; I certainly don't hold it against them.

[GuyL]

Why do Western men marry Thai girls of ill-repute?

Lemme think...

Because they can't find Western girls of whatever repute who are willing to marry them ?

Because there aren't that many Thai girls of non ill-repute (especially the wealthy ones) who are willing to marry a Westerner ?

Because Thai girls of ill-repute are no fools, and they demand marriage in exchange for whatever it is they can give ?

Because they can ?

Because they can is probably the best answer so far. Reminds me of the joke: "Why do dogs lick their balls? Because they can." Well, my dog can, but is still after bitches, so, go figure!

[BradinAsia]

I would imagine by the time they marry, their past is behind them and is of no consequence.

Maybe the past is behind, but realistically speaking, people are a product of their past.

If you marry a girl of ill-repute can you reasonably expect she will be a model mother and faithful wife. The

experiences of thousands of men who've made that mistake suggests that if she used to make a living by

being bar-fined by numerous dodgy punters -- if you marry her it's highly likely that she'll continue on with

that behavior in some form, like boning all the guys in the neighborhood while you're away at work.

[bushwacker]

If i wanted a Doctor, Dentist, Engineer, House Builder, cook, housekeeper, clothes washer, teacher, mechanic, tailor, barber, investment adviser, banker, surgeon, etc .... I would want to find one with experience and good success. Why would I not also look for a woman that knows how to satisfy my male needs.

Said another way. If you find someone attractive, experienced and effective, then why not snap her up for yourself? Sounds like a no-brainer to me.

Just saying.

[ToddinChonburi]

Good job Sig, A big thumbs up.

[Capt Rob]

"Marring a woman of questionable work history in the West would be a costly proposition since the whole profession has been glamourized with a sex movie industry. You would actually have to be Charlie Sheen to afford to live with one of those girls.

What do you think?"

I think that comment above is well wide of the mark.

Think the typo in the first word is the way to read the post. People most often do what they must/can to survive, with access to only limited level of education there is more than a glass ceiling for women in Thailand.

Have met 'bar' staff around the globe and the Thai workers are no more pragmatic than the 'average' - still it is a hardening process when you have to follow the buck ( no pun intended ) so the punter will need their wits about them as it is definately, for the reasons given, buyer beware.

[eastcanje]

One of the things that always seems to be missed when talking about this is: Opportunity. By this I mean the opportunity to meet women at home. When I left the UK the pc aspect of the workplace meant it was virtually impossible to develop a relationship other than a professional one. So a traditional meeting place for couples has been struck off the list. Likewise the pub. With increasing prices, smoking bans and the higher cost of living people went out less making another traditional meeting ground less effective.

Then you have the men who are most likely to be 40+ and divorced. Probably too old to go clubbing. So where on earth are these people going to meet a woman who is a possible mate? Believe me I had a good job, lived in a nice part of London and would consider myself good looking and fit and I had to go to the internet to meet women. There are a lot of men who still think the internet is a bit seedy and won't use it. And if they live in a small town it is even harder.

Then they come to Thailand!!!! Bingo! It is like a mirror image of the life they were leading. Suddenly they are meeting more attractive women than they can cope with. Some are out to get their money but some are just out to get their man, and with it security and a better life. What is not to like about that?

So the girls have used their assets to survive. He who is without sin etc. I am not justifying, celebrating or condoning what they do. But I do accept it. And the situation creates a place where a western man can get an attractive Asian lady and not be lonely anymore. THAT IS A GOOD THING.

I am firmly of the opinion that when you meet someone you judge them by what they do now not what they did before. I know if I was judged in the same way i would be found wanting.

And if every farang who is married to a hiso rich thai-chinese doctor was lined up they would reach from here to the end of my nose.

As Talk Talk said, "Life's what you make it". Look back in anger or look forward in hope.

How pleasant to see a post that is on topic, intelligent, and not hateful or sarcastic!

I talk to some of these women and some had worked for years in factories for 300 Baht per day, six days each week, then were forced to work overtime every day for very little more.

Some of them still work at a "regular" job, but still can't meet their financial obligations, so they also work as freelancers

Some were pushed into prostitution by parents or family members! Many of them support parents, children and other relatives, and they can't make ends meet by other means.

I try to withhold judging someone without knowing their circumstances, and as Sigurris said, :"He who is without sin...", is certainly apt.

[iamariva1957]

One of the things that always seems to be missed when talking about this is: Opportunity. By this I mean the opportunity to meet women at home. When I left the UK the pc aspect of the workplace meant it was virtually impossible to develop a relationship other than a professional one. So a traditional meeting place for couples has been struck off the list. Likewise the pub. With increasing prices, smoking bans and the higher cost of living people went out less making another traditional meeting ground less effective.

Then you have the men who are most likely to be 40+ and divorced. Probably too old to go clubbing. So where on earth are these people going to meet a woman who is a possible mate? Believe me I had a good job, lived in a nice part of London and would consider myself good looking and fit and I had to go to the internet to meet women. There are a lot of men who still think the internet is a bit seedy and won't use it. And if they live in a small town it is even harder.

Then they come to Thailand!!!! Bingo! It is like a mirror image of the life they were leading. Suddenly they are meeting more attractive women than they can cope with. Some are out to get their money but some are just out to get their man, and with it security and a better life. What is not to like about that?

So the girls have used their assets to survive. He who is without sin etc. I am not justifying, celebrating or condoning what they do. But I do accept it. And the situation creates a place where a western man can get an attractive Asian lady and not be lonely anymore. THAT IS A GOOD THING.

I am firmly of the opinion that when you meet someone you judge them by what they do now not what they did before. I know if I was judged in the same way i would be found wanting.

And if every farang who is married to a hiso rich thai-chinese doctor was lined up they would reach from here to the end of my nose.

As Talk Talk said, "Life's what you make it". Look back in anger or look forward in hope.

Though I agree with your thoughts on this subject I would like to make one change. Maybe if we could keep ethnic issues out of is ("Asian women" as you said) and just call them women then maybe we could help do away with the stereotypes out there. For women are women all over the world. Oh the color of their skin might be different from one place to another. Their attitudes might also be different regarding what is important to their lives, but in the end they are all women and we are all men; in short we are all human and so share characteristics common to us all.

But to reflect on what you said, and again I say that I agree, it has to be said that there is something so attractive about the women here that goes beyond the visual. No matter what they are doing for a 'living' or what their personal goals might be, that element in their characters created by a high respect for family and a way of life that has only in recent history been propelled into what it is today... there is just something that they bring that for some unknown reason (at least to me) western women seem to have either forgotten or dispelled all together.

Pairing up with a woman today is more difficult than ever, certainly I agree with you on that! But these days it seems that we are sort of looking back in time to ages where only through arranged marriages did you find you 'mate'. It was a system that dispelled the individual and only looked at the benefits that could be obtained rather than for love or desire. The latter was found the usual way by finding a 'loose woman' paying your money and having a good time. As we all know, that profession is still alive and well and certainly here in Thailand. But on a much different plain for the most part (except in certain places in ... say... Nevada). It is an thought of as an 'illegal' activity/profession. So what is a guy to do? Well the internet is there and filled with questionable algorithms that are supposed to be able to match you with your perfect mate. But that is bunk! For the numbers of couples who found each other on line is small compared to those that did it the 'usual way' . But that is changing. So God knows where it will wind up in the times to come.

Thailand is full of mystery. Hell the way that they think and reason is a mystery most of the time. But somehow they manage to get through their days and nights without the Western sense of panic. But what I detest is the way that the world sees Thailand and the Thai women. Let face facts, the rest of the world sees every Thai woman as a hooker. They see Thailand as one big brothel that has some nice beaches, temples, and cheap prices. The 'bad press' that Thailand gets and that is enforced by seemingly endless numbers of tourists who are actually here to 'deflower' the local population sort of helps make Thailand into a sex destination. Oh, sure the locals help in this regard (Dr Blow Job's establishments in BKK are one example. Though run, I understand, by a Farang and so he is taking advantage for his own profit).

But it is the face of Thailand that I worry about. Places like Walking Street, Patong, Soi Cowboy, Nana Palace (with its 3 no tell hotels right on site to name but a few) that concern me. Not because of what they are offering, but rather the fact that what they are peddling is how the rest of the world see Thailand.

Just to be clear, I am divorced and have two children back in the US who live with their mom. I have been living here because of work for the past 2 years and when I try and get the kids to come and visit me here... I find myself in court in the US having to show why Thailand is safe and a great place to visit and that it is not all sex and porn. You should hear some of the crap I have heard from Judges! Personally I blame the media for the attitudes... but to this day I have yet to be able to bring my kids over here on their holidays because some court thinks that it is "Not in the best interests for the health and safety of the minor children" (my kids are 15 and 17!).

[fdbob]

It depends which head is doing the thinking.

It's still better than marrying a Farrang girl of repute

[Faiza Hussain]

What I don't get, and ain't don't mean to offend anyone, but couples get married, where the guy usually doesn't speak Thai and the girl doesn't usually speak English? So what a the common ground?

[GuyL]

What I don't get, and ain't don't mean to offend anyone, but couples get married, where the guy usually doesn't speak Thai and the girl doesn't usually speak English? So what a the common ground?

Sign language!

More seriously, often, the 'women of ill-repute' can speak enough English for being understood on the most important topics (quantum theory comes to mind!).

Edited September 10, 2014 by GuyL

[Krataiboy]

What do I think? I think you should have better things to do with your time than waste ours.

[ttthailand]

I know many guys who have married bar girls. I would say that none of the marriages were what I would say were or are very good. There was abuse in each one that mostly came from the man. Two of the cases the girls are not so bad but only stay in the relationship for the money and because they have a child to the guy. The reason the guys met these girls was because they were doing the same thing that the girls were except they were the ones paying. In each case the guys were for the most part heavy drinkers and the first date (haha) was a barfine. I think in all these cases both sides are a little defective.... Not saying I am perfect

I think it is a mistake to marry this type of girl but that is just me.... Live and let live.... But don't blame others when things turn out badly.

[Aree Wongwanlee]

From my personal experience, I find that the women of so-called ill-repute are, generally speaking, more honest than so-called honourable women. Most women, both types, want what's in your wallet and what's in your pants, in that order. Some would prefer to get the first item and leave the other. The women of so-called ill-repute tell you exactly what they want. Like 'Give me money and I will give you what you want'. The so-called honourable women would hide behind lies about love and all that bullshit, yet want the same things.

Seriously speaking, even though I am not a farang, albeit still a foreigner in Thailand, I would opt to marry a woman of so-called ill-repute over a so-called honourable woman, any day.

[SoiBiker]

What I don't get, and ain't don't mean to offend anyone, but couples get married, where the guy usually doesn't speak Thai and the girl doesn't usually speak English? So what a the common ground?

Money.

[kinmaew]

I just saw a show on the difficulty of men in China finding wives over 20M men and no female what a dilemma. Their requirements are strict, cash and property. I am starting to think in my old age (44) that its just easier and better to have a contract relationship (I will pay you x per month and you get none of my assets in event of split) and I keep all the money "Whats love got to do with it?" as Tina Turner said.

[Sigurris]

A poster said that a girl who worked in a bar would continue that behaviour when she left the bar and married i.e. sleeping with other men whilst the husband is at work. To me that suggests that bar girls are in it for the sex only. My experience here (7 years f/t) is that Thais will seperate work from the personal in a way westerners cannot comprehend. For instance a tourist who barfines a girl then moves on to the next one will be called a butterfly and the girl will be jealous or put out that he didn't come back to her. Yet she does not consider herself in the same way because she is working.That is the seperation.

So when she leaves the bar she leaves the work aspect of sex behind and is probably glad not to have to satisfy other men. So I see no reason that she could not be a loving wife and mother. In fact, given her history she could be even better as she knows what she will have to do if her marriage fails.

I know this is not true of all bargirls and I do realise some are just money grabbers and party animals. But remember the majority would give up the bar in a heartbeat for security and love. Having a boyfriend or husband brings status and happiness in a society of people who don't like to be alone for anything.

Edited September 10, 2014 by Sigurris

[glasswort]

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Most men just want a wife that will have sex with them whenever they want, and maybe produce a few babies.

These girls usually fulfil the first criteria nicely.

Cheaper than the respectable western ladies, that produce a few babies, never have sex again, then want your house and pension.

And Thai women do not?