Marriage tips

[davidmann]

all thai ladies don't like you to have friends ,they won't to be the queen , pisses me of to

[canarysun]

The secret to a " good relationship " is to both have your own independence. If everything in the relationship is not 100 per cent then i would strongly advise you " reassess " your situation before continuing with the more " complicated journey " of getting married........

Farang Jaidee ( Single )

[jerome2]

I recomend "laugh your way to a beter mariage" the tale of 2 brains, Mark Gungor

there is no way I'd mary a thai before 50...exept if she's rich or pregnant...im 58 and maried...to a thai

[steveyinasia]

Been with my ady for 9 years and never had a problem, we agreed that our friends are important to us and if the other does not like a particular friend, they don't need to go. I have my nights out with my friend, she has her nights out with her friends and we have our nights to with our friends. Has worked perfectly for all these years. Its all about respecting each other rights, if your lady cannot do that, I would be thinking again about a future.

[Tonto21]

I fell for that one in a relationship sometime ago in the UK.

I moved in with my 'sweet and light'........ Then it started.

I wasn't big on going out on the town or hanging with friends but I did like my dirt bikes and would practice ride, or race every Sunday and work on the bike 2 evenings a week, apart from that I was all hers. Well, it started out all nice, (the honeymoon phase) but come the Sunday morning she would start, asking me not to go, all sweet like, then she'd sulk....moving on, (seamlessly) to 'dripping' then work her self up to being a full on stroppy bitch........All in the space of half an hour.

I did after a few Sunday's relent and stay in bed, 'Big mistake', for the sake of the relationship I should have dragged my ass out of bed and sat in the garage, (just so she didn't think she was controlling me) for me a marriage is about partnership, not ownership. The living together dragged on for about a year of her pulling harder on the collar and lead........ And me having to fight for every single aspect of my identity, who I was not who we were.

OP....the only advice I would give is this, stick your heels in now, not to be bloody minded but to make it clear there will still be a you and not just a 'we' in the relationship.......You have too fight for your going too the 'Man cave' once and a while. Do you really want to be one of those farang poodles in the malls following there 'teerak-ja' around. If you let your wife to be get her way on this...............Your screwed!

[MexicanFarang]

Communicate.

This is what I want ______.

I am a man. I will not change.

You can accept me.

Or not.

Up to you.

[jacko45k]

Well it isn't going to get better after you are married.

It may be hard for people who are unfamiliar to grasp the full situation. She may be over-controlling, and even though marriage is about compromise, it has to be on both sides. Conversely, is your current relationships with 'friends' something one would not expect within a marriage....?. ie Friday out with the lads on Cowboy, Saturday out until 2am watching the football, one night midweek as a break? etc etc

Isolating you from your friends is extreme and reeks of insecurity on her part, I doubt she will want to be isolated from her friends and family.

Perhaps you are not ready for marriage?

Edited November 22, 2014 by jacko45k

[Tonto21]

I'd pick a good wife over friends any day. Friends come and go.

So do good wife's come and go give me a brake a good wife in thailand you are joking

"Meeeeeeeoooooow....... Hiss...... hiss" Saucer of milk for one".... Table by the toilet!

Come on 'George' don't be shy, give us all the gory details!

[Ming Mueng]

Ditch her, if not, this marriage will not last long.

[soalbundy]

and now you want us to control you. Man up.

[Gandtee]

If you are getting married, get used to it. They say that 'A man wants his wife to stay the way she was when they married. A wife wants to change the man she married'. A woman's natural trait?

[Capt Rob]

It is a business treat it like that.

Write a prenup and don't forget DNA tests on babies and a dissolution clause.

Pay for her to have a separate lawyer to avoid future claims of duress.

Sounds very pragmatic but there is wisdom in this advice. ( Thailand almost a guaranteed 50% division )

It is inevitable that accommodations will be needed by both sides but to isolate from either sides social group is recipe for disaster.

The suggestion of including her in group activities is sound. There will always be some in any group ( his/hers ) that will not inspire confidence but realistically these should be obvious to either 'side'

[kannot]

My wife keeps complaining I never listen to her... or something like that................

sorry can u say that again

[lahgon29]

I'd pick a good wife over friends any day. Friends come and go.

Strange that you said that, you obviously don't have great friends.

..I've had 3 marriages in Oz before settling in Thailand with the missus. I still have my friends from youth..They have always stood by me, never tried to strip me of my assets, divorce me, try to keep my kids from me. cheat on me. The 3 wives came and went. My tee rak loves my friends and understands the bonds.

Nobody should have to choose one over the other, but friends will be there at the end...Never a certainty with the wife.

[cup-O-coffee]

A marriage is supposed to be a bond between two relationships that fit together seamlessly.

Not only does it sound like the bond won't be sticky enough, but it also sounds like to two pieces won't even fit together seamlessly.

Moreover, you seem to be the one noticing "out of sync" oddities as the time approaches, and she does not.

I won't try to guess why you two are tying the knot, out of respect, but I think you two need to reflect on your bond and how the both of you fit together before forcing the bond and forcing the fit, merely for ..... what? So she can put you on her trophy shelf. or visa-versa?

Maybe you need to be real honest with yourself and ask, "Who benefits the most out of this?".

Who gets the most increase in income?

Who gives the most affection?

Who is attentive the most?

Who is considerate and inquiring about the health and welfare of the other the most?

If one is a battery and the power drain, then you need to think about that.

Good luck.

Edited November 22, 2014 by cup-O-coffee

[sipi]

I'd pick a good wife over friends any day. Friends come and go.

So do good wife's come and go give me a brake a good wife in thailand you are joking

Seems your mind is already made up. Ok, go ahead and ditch your wife. And hang out with the friends.

Bye..

[12DrinkMore]

My marriage is just like a fairy tale !!

Every time i come home the witch is sitting on the sofa.

( i hoop she don`t read this )

Is that the time you get out the magic wand?

[ScotBkk]

I think this is a wind-up. Otherwise, this limp wristed OP might be better off getting a sex change .....

[Nemesis7]

Talk to her and let her know what you don't like in controlling you. Make her understand you need space too.

[recycler]

Your description of her is short, but If her behavior changed after it all started so good and she is now trying to isolate you from your friends my advise is to try to rule out some very common personality disorders here starting with Borderline (BPD). If she's a borderliner the best you can do is run away as far as possible, but prepare your escape!

[In Search of Space]

A control game, play back harder

[Kevin Quinn]

<deleted>. If you need to ask a Web forum relationship advice regarding the woman you're about to marry then you're not ready for marriage.

[realenglish1]

Like anyone sit down and talk with her about it Tell her how you feel if she does not agree take a hike

[F4UCorsair]

before i got married in the uk my old man said to me,

youve always played darts on a thursday,gone out with the lads on a friday, dont stop, she met you when all this was happening so dont stop you must have time apart,

why do some women try and change you,

not just here, but all over the world, they meet you fall in love with you, THEN want you not to be you,,

tell her how you feel,

comunication is a big part of a relationship, talk to her, tell her that you like going out with your mates,

My old man said only two rules

...insist on your night out with the boys, and

Don'be so stupid as to waste it on the boys!

[HerbalEd]

Don't know you or your fiancee so I'll opine generically:

Thailand is old school. The man is the "man" of the house. I would indeed put my food down and remedy this situation quickly. If she doesn't change appropriately, or if things get even worse .... dump her because it will only get worse when she has you legally entangled in a marriage. Don't think it'll get better somehow ... it won't ... it'll get worse.

If she doesn't make some very positive changes then grow a pair and move on. There are hundreds of thousands of Thai ladies out there who'd like to be with you. Just be careful in your choice next time.

In my 30 years in Thailand I've had many Thai girlfriends ... and I do mean MANY. I've had good ones ... bad ones ... and a couple of she devils. I've made mistakes but I'm pretty smart and I learn from them. For two years I've been living with a Thai woman (I went for an older one this time. She's only 35 years younger than me. 555) ... and she is quite literally the nicest woman ever in my life. We will be married in a couple of weeks and I'm 99% sure I've made a very smart decision.

Good luck out there ... there are some good ones if you look long and smart enough.

[RigPig]

Marriage like politics is the art of compromise - for men and women. If either party finds that they have to compromise too much and cant accept this then stay single as you will not make a successful marriage.

Someone once said "Compromise is a situation where niether side is happy"

I guess that describes marriage ...........

[Aussieroaming]

Treat her as you would want her to treat you....the number one person in your life. I've got plenty of mates but only one family

[mercman24]

i lived with a control freak in the uk, ok to start with , i had a stressful job, it realy got me down, her arguing all the time, ( good example 2am i use the loo, she gets up to check if i had put the seat down, got a bollocking for that ha ha) so in the end i gave her 30 days to get out, never been happier. so my advice is DON'T DO IT, it will get worse believe me.

[bander]

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I'd pick a good wife over friends any day. Friends come and go.

So do good wife's come and go give me a brake a good wife in thailand you are joking

Marriage is just a contract who benefit the woman, worst case scenario: you loose half of everything you buy to your wife and yourself. Don't marry any woman, thai or foreign.

[Ulic]

True story: When I was 14 my uncle told me, "Don't get married until you are 30, and when you are 30 you will realize.

Don't get married." I am now 55 and have never been married. All is good.