The Extended Thai Family - Love it or Hate it?

[David48]

The Extended Thai Family - Love it or Hate it?

Lots of guys know me here, but for those who don't ...

When I live in Thailand, I live on the gf's Parents Family Farm.

It really is an extended Family circle.

The ensemble varies depending who is visiting or has a partner at the time, but the full quota is ...

GF's Parents

Older Sister

Her 2 kids

Middle Sister

Her 2 kids

My GF ... MissFarmGirl

Our 2 kids

Abandoned Female Cousin ... I nicknamed her Miss Quiet ... she has developmental issues from birth and was abandoned by her birth mother and has been informally adopted by the Family.

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Separate Dwelling, but spitting distance

Grandmother (mothers side)

Blood Aunt (mothers side)

Blood Uncle (mothers side)

Blood Aunt (mothers side) ... her son and his gf

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If that list wasn't enough ... on the surrounding farms are various blood Aunts and Uncles.

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I use the term 'Blood Uncle' because often there are 'Honorary' Aunts and Uncles who are regarded as Family, though not technically related. We have one of them. Nice guy. We name him Khun Dumb.

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Does that list look like anything you know?

How do you live?

Extended Family ... or close knit?

Privacy is almost non-existent ... though the Family help with caring for the Boys is invaluable.

.

[sipi]

Extended family. Love them to bits. We (wife, son and I) in our house. Sister and family next door. Mum and Dad other side. Brother and family across the road. Next door to him is his ex~wife and her family (only in Thailand can that happen). Down the road another brother and sister and their families. Various Aunts and Uncles and cousins scattered within a km either way.

[BritManToo]

Sounds a nightmare!

[Costas2008]

David, if you are seeking for privacy, build your own house and stop complaining while you are living in your inlaws house.

Not only they care for your children but you have to moan on top.

Please, up there.......give me strength.............................

[rgs2001uk]

Extended family, love it, so does the mrs, for the simple reason, they live nowhere near us.

[kannot]

Wifes parents both dead ( blessing) before i met her.

9 sisters and brothers. id say 2 were "reasonable" and 7 were a waste of oxygen, see my Wife as a bank although it was broken a long time ago now.

Now they see her as "blackheart"

Mostly idle scroungers though some evil cunning in there too.

The best one is her eldest Brother, retired teacher about 60, Wife killed in car crash re married 38 years old woman, all the family stick their noses in and say she is no good, I said why dont they mind their own effin business........which is doing bugger all, all day everyday.....well from what Im told by the Wife.

Have almost nothing to do with them they are almost all in Loei.

[soalbundy]

I lock the front gate at 5 in the evening to keep them out,when i am alone at home i lock the gate and the front door, pull the curtains and put on the aircon and some music.

[mallyrd]

This sort of intimate family closeness is not for me;

MIL - 900 klics away

FIL - 900 klics away

Brother - 900 klics away

Sister - 15 klics away but we (wife and I) do not communicate with her

Aunties and Uncles - varies between 700 and 1,100 klics away

We do however, have our own circle of friends who are 900 klics away but come to visit us. We also have a circle of friends where we currently stay.

[kannot]

I lock the front gate at 5 in the evening to keep them out,when i am alone at home i lock the gate and the front door, pull the curtains and put on the aircon and some music.

Cant you just shoot on site when they appear????

[soalbundy]

I lock the front gate at 5 in the evening to keep them out,when i am alone at home i lock the gate and the front door, pull the curtains and put on the aircon and some music.

Cant you just shoot on site when they appear????

My dream but it's not allowed,they are killing themselves with lao kao so it wont be necessary.

[Evilbaz]

Extended family - love/hate.

Fortunately I bought in my village by the seaside.

They are 1300 km away.

Although, as we create jobs they seem to be migrating steadily ...

[krisb]

Yep, guess it's something the Thais understand.

Go with the flow. Just easier.

[lucifer666]

I love it. Reminds me of my grandma and grandads home when i was a kid.

[Smileygc]

Hi David48

I love it, so its nice to read you enjoy the family experience also.

I do tend to join in to integrate with the Thai Culture and I am well respected (by the family & locals) for that.

My wife & I get invited to temples, festivals, parties, weddings and many other activites as a result.

Never a dull moment.... Never bored.. and never sitting alone, watching the ants through the bottom of a Leo Beer Bottle 5555555..

I am lucky as I am now part of a loving and hospitable family community, so feel for some of the other other 'Farang' that report such bad experiences. Complaining about Thailand, their wife, HER family on the our first & subsequent meetings....

Probably no different from good & bad families back in the homeland.

All the best

Light the Red touch paper & retire....... I wonder what -ve's this will attract.......

[BritManToo]

My wife & I get invited to temples, festivals, parties, weddings and many other activities as a result.

I would rather jump off a Pattaya balcony than live like this.

[MediaWatcher]

Costas2008, on 28 Nov 2014 - 15:42, said:

David, if you are seeking for privacy, build your own house and stop complaining while you are living in your inlaws house.

Not only they care for your children but you have to moan on top.

Please, up there.......give me strength.............................

Maybe you do not need "strength" but more brain cells, I failed to see David complaining, or moaning, unlike you.

[welsh1]

Extended family. Love them to bits. We (wife, son and I) in our house. Sister and family next door. Mum and Dad other side. Brother and family across the road. Next door to him is his ex~wife and her family (only in Thailand can that happen). Down the road another brother and sister and their families. Various Aunts and Uncles and cousins scattered within a km either way.

I take my hat to you, your a braver man than me.

[1FinickyOne]

live with my wife & niece - 3 other houses in our compound - and literally 100s of extended family nearby. They are all mostly very nice people.

Everyone respects my privacy and all help each other when needed - seems like there is always a picnic going or bar bq - - - sure, there are moments, but mostly pretty good.

[robblok]

Thank god gf is not too close with the rest of the family. Plus they seem to keep their distance, though i like it when her mom cleans our house (pay for it as i hate it and can make more myself in the time spend)

I come from a small family that is close but loves their privacy. I could never ever survive without a lot of me time. I am a bit of an loner and like it.

But if its good for you David then that is great. Not everyone likes the same things in live.

[CharlieH]

Thats why I have dogs, 3 of them, .....oh and the 2m high perimeter wall..... oh and the 10ft high gate.

KEEP OUT !

[ExPratt]

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Thank god gf is not too close with the rest of the family. Plus they seem to keep their distance, though i like it when her mom cleans our house (pay for it as i hate it and can make more myself in the time spend)

I come from a small family that is close but loves their privacy. I could never ever survive without a lot of me time. I am a bit of an loner and like it.

But if its good for you David then that is great. Not everyone likes the same things in live.

Not trying to be a Topper (Much) but we have 5 dogs. To answer the original post, I have no problem with her family . Our house is on family land and there are Aunts ,Uncle , grandmothers ect all around us. When I work away good to know they have so many people around them , they all work and are decent people

[i claudius]

I like my Thai family very much,fortunately they all have good jobs their own homes and money,so I have none of the problems many guys seem to have

[elgordo38]

I have never in the last 3 years met my in laws or my g/f's 3 sisters or brother. We live in Chiang Mai and from time she goes home to visit them in Chiang Rai. From day to day life I like the one sister dislike another and am neutral on the older one. The brother is spoiled just bought a new truck and sends no money to the parents.

[ThaiFelix]

They all live next door......I'm currently having 2 meter plus walls built all around....builders laughed when I said I wanted broken glass cemented on the tops of the walls.

Actually they are not so bad, makes my wife happy they are close and they basically leave me alone apart from the need to borrow a grand or two now and again but always pay me back.

[khunPer]

OP, David, I believe you say something very important yourself: »...though the Family help with caring for the Boys is invaluable.«

To me, it seems like that in “Farang World” we prefers to send babies/small kids in nursery, later kindergarten – as we need to be so busy working to make money to pay for the nursery-expenses; and of course pay taxes to let the government both store our aged relatives, so we don’t have to care, and take care of those members of the family who needs help of any kind, being unemployed or whatever. We include that in what call “privacy”.

Just yesterday read a sad article from “home” about lots of lonely old people let alone, and dying alone in their home, some only found days later, as no one visits them and governmental home-service has been cut to a few one-hour visits a week. Made me think of, if it’s better the family takes care – and of course lower the tax burden in return.

The way you describe it, David, is what I think many of us has noticed up Isaan villages – and probably also other parts of LoS – and something to take into consideration if settling next to, or close to the extended Thai family. If “privacy” is a priority then move “far away” – some says minimum 300 kilometers – however be prepared members of the family may still come on visit now-and-then, even without prior invitation.

In my case, a number of the village family moved down south where I live with my GF, however they respect our wish for privacy (probably most mine), rent their own places and work for living, and don’t mingle too much – meaning not moving in our house or come daily when food served; but we do now-and-then invite for dinner or dine out together – so it works very well, and there still is an aunt or cousin available if we need a babysitter, or a handyman to climb and cut the coconut palm…

[kinmaew]

Do you usually bring your wallet with you to these sojourns if so what % of it do you leave with on average? Just out of interest.

[Crazy chef 1]

at the moment MiL is with us for 3 month to help with the offspring...otherwise twice a year...i always like when they are arriving and love when they are leaving...nice folks but I'm not a social person..

[rotary]

I do not hate and I do not love the extended family thing..............but I do not put up with it at all.

[Smileygc]

Hee hee, so that is why people jump off balconies in Pattaya... Why don't they just save the mess and jump on a plane...

Retire.. Red touch... Light... Paper... And.... 55555's

Edited November 28, 2014 by Smileygc

[Jaggg88]

I love a country bumkin story. Your family home makes the Waltons seem like a small family. I married a city girl and when we are in Thailand we live in the suburbs away from the family and that suits me fine. Some of her nieces with their uni friends visit to use the pool and I don't mind that at all.