my girl is dead

[someonehelpme]

I'd like to get some answers as to why my girlfriend of over 10 years became so sick and died from a kidney transplant.

The call from hospital for a new kidney on April 25th meant a supposed extended long life after hoping and waiting for nearly 7 years. She bleeds out from GI hemorrhage from high doses of immunosuppressants on
june 25th, 4 months 5 days later after being revived many times, getting severe diabetes, (NODAT) new onset diabetes after transplantation, tuberculosis, organ damage from severe sepsis from requiring 18 pints of blood that leaked into the abdominal cavity she's released on October 30th, still has respirator tube in throat and hadn't been able to talk since being on ventilator from july 19th to october 2nd.

She only lasted 4 nights before she died on the fifth day at only 37 years old.

I was sure she was going to get better, but she was still suffering and her lungs were so full of mucus, her niece said she stopped breathing and died in her sleep.

Her and niece stayed here with me on October 30,31,November 1,2 and on the 3rd we all went to her other nieces new condo as she needed to always have a Thai with her for a few months.

She promised she would be back and I had planned to visit many times a week.. Next day I get the call, "____, die already".

I think the poor care of *(name edited out)* hospital killed her.

I wish I'd known the seriousness of this, I was sure I'd see her in a few days.

Edited December 28, 2014 by Scott
name edited out

[MrTee]

aww that is so sad.
I feel for you brother

[krisb]

So sorry to hear your loss.

[Costas2008]

OP, I wish your g/f Rests in Pease.

It is very sad and distressing to hear about her death and I can feel your pain.

I can offer my condolences but this is not enough to heal your wound.

The only thing I can say to you, be strong.

Time is a healer and just imagine that she is in a better world now without suffering.

My thoughts and prayers are with you.

[ukrules]

It sounds like they didn't do a good job at the hospital and left her to it.

I suggest finding out the surgeons name and take it from there.

[slipperylobster]

Sympathize with you. My girl died in the Philippines, although we had just broken up. I met her at a restaurant, while visiting my son. She looked awful, and said she was in great pain. I thought it was a ruse. (Long history). I helped her with what little I had, and a week later she died of Cervicular Cancer. I had already left, and my 15 year old son watched her die slowly in a hospital room..for that week.

How do you think I feel? Sorry.

[transam]

OP, I wish your g/f Rests in Pease.

It is very sad and distressing to hear about her death and I can feel your pain.

I can offer my condolences but this is not enough to heal your wound.

The only thing I can say to you, be strong.

Time is a healer and just imagine that she is in a better world now without suffering.

My thoughts and prayers are with you.

Yep...........Me too..........

[ttthailand]

Sorry to hear .... Her pain is over.... Now time to take care of yourself and her family

[Thongkorn]

My thoughts are with you, Hope her Buddha takes care of her,

[ExPratt]

Sorry for your loss mate

[Scott]

Very sorry for your loss. Such a struggle. My thoughts are with you.

The topic has been moved to the Health forum.

[Goshawk]

heartbreaking . .

[canarysun]

Sad story.I am so sorry.

F.J x

[Seastallion]

Mate, I'm very sorry for your loss. I feel that you (understandably) are looking for someone/something to blame.

Please, deal with your grief personally first. Once you have come to terms, then look at culpability.

[Sheryl]

I am very sorry for your loss, but you need to understand that a kidney transplant is a serious and risky procedure. In order to prevent the body from rejecting the kidney, it is necessary to give potent and very dangerous drugs to suppress the normal immune response; and these do carry serious risks, but there is no alternative.

It does happen that some people die as a result, even with the best of care.

It is impossible for me to say from what you describe whether this was the case with your GF or whether there were any mistakes/defects in the care she was given. But you should understand that it is perfectly possible that no one did anything wrong. Even in the West, about 5% of patients die within a year of a successful transplant operation, often from complications related to the immunosupressants. An additional 5% or so die in the 2nd or 3rd year after surgery.

Besides the complications associated with immunsuppressent therapy, there has often been some organ damage as a result of the chronic renal failure that preceded the transplant and this too can predispose to serious complications post-surgery. You indicate she had been waiting for 7 years, that's a long time and there will have been consequences in terms of her cardiovascular health and general resilience.

[mrtoad]

I am sorry for your loss, I don't need to repeat what Sheryl has already said, but major organ transplants are far more complex than what it may appear, especially with the medical history you explained.

Thoughts are with you and the family.

Edited December 28, 2014 by mrtoad

[redandyellow]

OP, I wish your g/f Rests in Pease.

It is very sad and distressing to hear about her death and I can feel your pain.

I can offer my condolences but this is not enough to heal your wound.

The only thing I can say to you, be strong.

Time is a healer and just imagine that she is in a better world now without suffering.

My thoughts and prayers are with you.

I can't say it better, God Bless you..you will find out who really cares, Lots of people care about you.. including me

[Briggsy]

http://ndt.oxfordjournals.org/content/16/8/1545.full

Causes of death after kidney transplant and survival rates

Edited December 28, 2014 by Briggsy

[NancyL]

I'm crying and so glad that Sheryl came to share her wisdom. I hope you can gain some comfort from her words and in knowing that there are so many here who are reading your words and sharing your loss.

Edited December 28, 2014 by NancyL

[krisb]

Why is the name of the hospital blanked out?

Wow, we are lucky to have a qualified doctor like Sheryl here!

Edited December 28, 2014 by krisb

[irishsmile]

So sorry for your tragic loss, you clearly loved your gf very much and the feeling of emptiness and grief must be truly awful. My heartfelt prayers and thoughts to you and your late girlfriend.

[weegee]

The hardest thing to deal with, is loosing a close family member. My thoughts are with you...

Eventually the burden of grief will become lighter.

[ravip]

My heart is saddened to hear such a loss of someone so dear.

I could barely imagine how difficult it is for you to carry such burden.

My deepest condolences.

May she rest in peace.

[Robby nz]

Would like to add my condolences also, you must have had and still be having a terrible time.

But life for you will go on so make the most of it and remember the good times you had together.

[i claudius]

I can't even begin to know how you must feel,I just know what I would feel if it was my wife, my thoughts are with you

[Johnniey]

I know you might not feel like hearing it but time is a great healer. Denial, anger, guilt, depression are normal and will go away.

[redandyellow]

I wanted to say Hi and just wish you some degree of peace of mind in the future , which you will have eventually.. sooner or later..

I hope you are getting proper help and support at this time,

She would want you to be strong Bro..

[theguyfromanotherforum]

So sad.... and that picture.

[someonehelpme]

It's now been 62 days and it hasn't gotten better. Anyone want to come to the hospital and watch me go "bat shit crazy" on the nephrology department? After the kidney transplant, she comes home on May 27, 29 days before the GI hemorrage on June 25. 2 days before (June 23) they change her cellcept to myfortic which dissolves in the small intestine not stomach like the cellcept and she ends up with 4 holes in her small intestine a day and a half later, not to mention they have her drinking 12 packs a day of Kalimate to lower her potassium. The Prograf, Myfortic, Prednisolone, Kalimate all give warnings about GI hemorrage. Back to the 127 nights in the hospital frome June 25 to October 30, she says if nurse not give her wrong medication she not get so sick. End of August she says they want send her to China to harvest her organs and if I say anything I will be shot in the head. Heck read the Bangkok post about organ harvesting, we weren't married, she has no kids, perfect candidate to steal from.

[Sheryl]

Actually from the sounds of her condition she would probably not have been a suitable organ donor.

I realize you feel certain the hospital is to blame for her death but the information you have is insufficient to determine that. She had a very serious condition and a lot of complications, the treatments for which carry significant, known, but unavoidable, risks.

Yes, the GI bleed was probably due to the immunsuppressants and further aggravated by the oral potassium. But untreated elevated potassium can cause cardiac arrest. And the fact that it was elevated indicates the transplanted kidney was not functioning, probably because of rejection which in turn would explain why the change in immunosuppressants and the inability to decrease those meds.

Organ rejection is a serious, life-threatening problem and requires aggressive treatment. Those treatments are dangerous, and do carry risks, but there isn't much option.

I really urge that rather than going "bat sh*t" at the hospital you try to calm down and listen to what they have to say. Thai doctors tend to assume patients can't understand medical matters and to give little or no explanations. Chances are neither your gf nor her family really understood the medical situation or reason why various treatment choices were made, and the fact that your gf thought she was sick due to a medication error does not mean this necessarily was the case.

. Whether the hospital staff will have the time, willingness and English language skills to explain her case to you, I don't know, but you close off even that possibility if you start off on an accusatory note.