How to Catch a Cheater?

[thailandusauk]

Why breaking up ?

The next one will do it also !

[AYJAYDEE]

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Don't dump her, just cheat back.

Cheating is a Thai national pastime, good for all ages and all social classes.

Best answer so far, Thais are the worst cheaters in the world, any chance they have to get laid they go for it, no exceptions.

Which is more immoral, cheating on someone or making generalized condemnations of an entire country's population? Just wondering...

How is it that when someone states the obvious- that it's some kind of condemnation?

It's probably less of a "generalized condemnation" than it is a well established and accepted fact.

I would imagine that you could even get most Thai people to agree with this fact.

Cheating is more or less an accepted practice as long as it is done discretly.

bob

worst cheaters in the world/ no exceptions? grow up

[AYJAYDEE]

<script type='text/javascript'>window.mod_pagespeed_start = Number(new Date());</script>

Don't dump her, just cheat back.

Cheating is a Thai national pastime, good for all ages and all social classes.

Best answer so far, Thais are the worst cheaters in the world, any chance they have to get laid they go for it, no exceptions.

Which is more immoral, cheating on someone or making generalized condemnations of an entire country's population? Just wondering...

How is it that when someone states the obvious- that it's some kind of condemnation?

It's probably less of a "generalized condemnation" than it is a well established and accepted fact.

I would imagine that you could even get most Thai people to agree with this fact.

Cheating is more or less an accepted practice as long as it is done discretly.

bob

worst cheaters in the world/ no exceptions? grow up

[steven100]

It's probably just a friend

[sipi]

How do you explain to your girlfriend that you are currently on a website that advertises single women?

[jacko45k]

If you are suspicious, likely you are right.

I saw a flyer for www.BARGIRL-SPY.com

[Cheesekraft]

Call that number from another phone and see who picks up..

tried this; unfortunately I don't understand what he was saying. Anywhere I can look up a name possibly by phone number? I tried google to no avail.

[penwithcris]

Thai ladies don't seem to regard having a sexual relationship with another man as cheating. It is is more 'the done thing' in Thailand

Celebrities do it, persons of rank do it, Thai drama reinforces it, infidelity within families is commonplace.

I think you just have to roll with the punches sometimes, especially if you love her, or have too much invested in her.

I've cheated on my girlfriends and been cheated on. It's just a fact of life here

If you really are worried take her to the Temple and ask her to tell you the truth in the presence of Buddha. She will probably be sufficiently superstitious of something bad happening to her or her family that she'll tell you the truth

Slip it in the 'tradesman's entrance' by mistake - that might bring her to her senses

[LuckyLew]

Seems the answer is already pretty clear

but if you want / need more proof just search google for Thai PI

[Casper Pi Noi]

The age old challenge world wide. If doubt is there will it come back...not.

If you have been burnt in the past then it will get harder when encountering non standard behaviour. Ask the question. you will get an angry reaction and if over the top then you have the truth

[mikiea]

woosie boyo for sure, dude you are keeping house with a good old fashioned skank. you know its true, shed no tears, their are others. :-)

[kennyro]

You think too much - why not just make the most of it when it is your turn.

[mikiea]

Thai ladies don't seem to regard having a sexual relationship with another man as cheating. It is is more 'the done thing' in Thailand

Celebrities do it, persons of rank do it, Thai drama reinforces it, infidelity within families is commonplace.

I think you just have to roll with the punches sometimes, especially if you love her, or have too much invested in her.

I've cheated on my girlfriends and been cheated on. It's just a fact of life here

If you really are worried take her to the Temple and ask her to tell you the truth in the presence of Buddha. She will probably be sufficiently superstitious of something bad happening to her or her family that she'll tell you the truth

Slip it in the 'tradesman's entrance' by mistake - that might bring her to her senses

my my, the farts that come outta your mouth. i feel you fancy yourself as a expert, i think not, your current gf is the player of you two, it is sad & funny you think you are in charge, oh well, another twit pretending, kinda cute :-)

[bobthomas]

Thai ladies don't seem to regard having a sexual relationship with another man as cheating. It is is more 'the done thing' in Thailand

Celebrities do it, persons of rank do it, Thai drama reinforces it, infidelity within families is commonplace.

I think you just have to roll with the punches sometimes, especially if you love her, or have too much invested in her.

I've cheated on my girlfriends and been cheated on. It's just a fact of life here

If you really are worried take her to the Temple and ask her to tell you the truth in the presence of Buddha. She will probably be sufficiently superstitious of something bad happening to her or her family that she'll tell you the truth

Slip it in the 'tradesman's entrance' by mistake - that might bring her to her senses

my my, the farts that come outta your mouth. i feel you fancy yourself as a expert, i think not, your current gf is the player of you two, it is sad & funny you think you are in charge, oh well, another twit pretending, kinda cute :-)

Are we going to start a new thread now in which a dozen Farangs are going to state that their Thai gf/wife is somehow "different"? You don't need to be "an expert" to state the obvious.

Edited January 9, 2015 by bobthomas

[billbob6840]

_{cheesecraft, cut & run dude...as some of the posts said, do get your emotions bent over some girl, as one guy said}

_{the ratio is 8 to 1 woman to men. why would you act all jealous?? that's a bit high school.}

[BradinAsia]

The entire country is based on infidelity, lies, saving face and keeping the appearance of propriety while being improper at every opportunity. Relationships are that of conveniance. It should be more than conveniant for you to get some tang on the side- if you are not willing to do that, you should not be in a realtionship with a Thai chick.

Either take this opportunity to have some fun yourself or dump the chick.

It's one or the other-.................... or possibly both!

I don't make the rules...I just follow them.

B

"The entire country is based on infidelity, lies, saving face and keeping the appearance of propriety while being improper at every opportunity."

I've seen some extremely low-down bigoted statements on TV, but I'd say this one is very close to the bottom of the barrel.

I really can't say more, I'd likely get banned.

Brad,

You should feel right at home in Thailand where the second most endemic problem is the inability to accept and confront even the most obvious and blatent truths and then to deny their existance and quickly feign injury.

Reading your post, I have to wonder. Have you ever actually been to Thailand?

My post should come as no surprise to people that have spent even just a few months in Thailand.

Maybe you could ask around or something.

Good luck kid. I mean that sincerally,

Uncle Bob

Uncle Bob, I first visited Thailand in 1962. Then, many times over the years until taking a teaching job (no, not

English) in a large Bkk uni. The first 2 years I visited 57 provinces. When I fully retired I moved to Chiang Mai

(having discovered it during my travels). We now live in San Kamphaeng, Chiang Mai and plan to never leave.

One of these days, I plan to write a book describing my experiences with Thai people over the last 53 years.

Nearly all those experiences involve normal, spontaneous, effusive kindness, honesty and pure good nature

of so many Thai people from various walks of life.

The landlords who've been so kind and cooperative, like one who let us break a lease when my pregnant wife

could not bear to stay another day in an 11th floor condo after the big earthquake in May 2014. Neighbors who

have treat us much like extended family, total strangers in the province who take 15 minutes to draw a map for

us when we get lost.

Total strangers who've returned cameras, watches, cell phones, shoulder bags when I forget them on tables

in restaurants & various other places. Bank tellers, post office clerks, the staff of many markets, small shops

and large department stores -- I assure you the list is so long it would choke a person who can only find the

rotted underside of this country.

The kindness and caring of our doctor and the hospital staff during my wife's difficult pregnancy would melt

the heart of anyone who still has a heart.

You wonder if I've ever been to Thailand. I wonder about you and all the TV "gloom-and-doom" folks -- how

in holy h*ll have they ever found so much muck to rake? Unless of course, muck raking is their specialty.

After 28+ years in Asia, I'm quite aware that if you look hard enough you'll find most anything you look for.

The only really unsavory experiences I've ever had in this country involve the despicable conditions created

by farang in Pattaya. I simply avoid that place. For the folks who may take exception to my describing the

despicable conditions as "created by farang" let's be honest. Before the Vietnam War no such conditions

existed in Pattaya. And if Pattaya now had no more farang sex tourists how long would it remain as it is?

Most incredible of all, after the farang created the despicable conditions in Pattaya (and elsewhere) they're

the ones who now blame the people of Thailand for those despicable conditions. How retarded is that?

Of course, I've purposely never been to Phuket and never plan to go. There may be beautiful beaches, but

like Pattaya, I don't want local people looking at me, a farang, and naturally assuming that I'm there to visit

the seamy sex industry.

In Angeles City, Philippines (1962) or Misawa Japan (1962-1966) -- I purposely avoided the low-life areas.

I never once walked down Field Avenue in Angeles, bcoz it is renowned as the epicenter of the Philippine

sex industry. In my 28 years in Asia, I've always avoided such places -- in order not to show disrespect to

all the respectable people of the country.

I know that my experience in Thailand is not a mere fluke. A number of members here on TV, just as happy

and content in LOS as I am, have posted very similar accounts of their experiences. I just don't understand

what motivates folks to search for septic tanks when there are so many many beautiful gardens to enjoy.

Most of all, if I loathed a country so much that I found its people despicable, I'd promptly find a place to live

better suited to my likes. Why would anyone ever force themselves to live in a place they truly despise?

.

Edited January 9, 2015 by BradinAsia

[BradinAsia]

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Best answer so far, Thais are the worst cheaters in the world, any chance they have to get laid they go for it, no exceptions.

Which is more immoral, cheating on someone or making generalized condemnations of an entire country's population? Just wondering...

How is it that when someone states the obvious- that it's some kind of condemnation?

It's probably less of a "generalized condemnation" than it is a well established and accepted fact.

I would imagine that you could even get most Thai people to agree with this fact.

Cheating is more or less an accepted practice as long as it is done discretly.

bob

worst cheaters in the world/ no exceptions? grow up

+1

Quite agree.

Stating there obvious? What a joke. Established fact accept by whom? By a bunch of crusty old farangs on Thai Visa?

If anyone has "facts" to prove that all 67 million Thai people are liars, cheaters and immoral, I'd like to see those facts.

Realistically, since all humans are human -- I'd have to say intuitively such fake "facts" are all pure hogwash.

Edited January 9, 2015 by BradinAsia

[DP25]

Thai ladies don't seem to regard having a sexual relationship with another man as cheating. It is is more 'the done thing' in Thailand

Celebrities do it, persons of rank do it, Thai drama reinforces it, infidelity within families is commonplace.

I think you just have to roll with the punches sometimes, especially if you love her, or have too much invested in her.

I've cheated on my girlfriends and been cheated on. It's just a fact of life here

If you really are worried take her to the Temple and ask her to tell you the truth in the presence of Buddha. She will probably be sufficiently superstitious of something bad happening to her or her family that she'll tell you the truth

Slip it in the 'tradesman's entrance' by mistake - that might bring her to her senses

my my, the farts that come outta your mouth. i feel you fancy yourself as a expert, i think not, your current gf is the player of you two, it is sad & funny you think you are in charge, oh well, another twit pretending, kinda cute :-)

Are we going to start a new thread now in which a dozen Farangs are going to state that their Thai gf/wife is somehow "different"? You don't need to be "an expert" to state the obvious.

The only thing obvious is that the horde of old pattaya sexpats 'dating' prostitutes half their age have a completely different experience than the rest of us

[AdamRich]

Hey man. I think your girl is cheating on us.

[inwardglee]

The original poster has to read a lot, and a lot of non-sense.

The real pain of being cheated is being humiliated by the other one, in daily actions.

Does the partner belittle you? Finds nothing good in you? Even the greatest meal you cook is still not fine? That is one indication.

Second: Seeking a situation for plain talk, together.

Asking: How do you feel about me? What do you feel towards me?

Third: Observe the eyes when the person answers. Observe the body posture, and the tone in the voice.

Last but not least: A sexual fantasy does not need to materialize. We all have them, in a way we cheat the partner by the fantasy alone, yet ... if we can have open talk to the partner, he or she might be willing to venture into it, and as soon as done, the fantasy gets nullified. It's gone, after seeing it is still not that kick that gave us liberation from the average challenges of life, that the Buddha called "dukkha", suffering, clinging ...

So, go calmly into this. If you can, do not hate your partner for the deviation. Interprete more what has led her to seek happiness outside. We humans are always trapped by intrinsic suffering, and then we promise ourselves relief from a kick of a new love affair ... We like to be cherished, adored, sought ... and any of women or men are the same in this. If we lose affection from the other one, we seek it from someone else.

If you love your wife, seek the problem in your relation. A psychologist said: Couples that express five times a day the appreciation to the other one, and that can be in multiple forms, from a kiss on the cheek to some hug, to wow, you did this great, they have a great chance to keep an ongoing relationship.

If you seek a relationship adviser, there is one great man in Thailand, cheaper then a detective, Frank Vilaasa, in Pai ... the writer of the book: "What is love".

[steven100]

just shag em and bag em !! .... rent before you buy that way you can see it it can take the hard work ...

[inwardglee]

I forgot to say something, above:

I once met a very wise, elderly couple. They told me that every woman or man needs to expect that once in a life-time the partner goes astray ...

I know, it is painful to know.

We men however tend to think that our adultery is peanuts.

And when a woman has a love affair outside, it destroys us ...

We have double standards.

We forget that a woman feels samewise about a man having intimacy with other ones.

Being in a partnership is as difficult as being without partnership.

In the partnership, on the one hand, we should just be focused sexually on one, and if there is communion between the two, we really are, and in exchange for that loyalty we get care. Vice versa.

And there, in polygamous flipping around, it is free intercourse to multiple people, and no one finds rest ...

So many suicides happen in that freak way. It leads to severe depression. See the news of Pattaya, as example, the city of no God, but sex is God.

In so far, Thailand with its many ways for short time sex, creates an illusion, and this one will die similarly as McDonalds and Coke are now cutting down their output, fast food leaves people empty and dead in the end ...

[AnotherOneAmerican]

Good god,

Western small town middle class morality is alive and well in Thailand.

You're in Asia, everyone plays around, all the time, you ain't gonna stop 'em playing.

1) Abstain, 2) learn to share, 3) go crazy.

Those are your only choices out here.

Most western dudes seem to choose option 3.

[penwithcris]

Thai ladies don't seem to regard having a sexual relationship with another man as cheating. It is is more 'the done thing' in Thailand

Celebrities do it, persons of rank do it, Thai drama reinforces it, infidelity within families is commonplace.

I think you just have to roll with the punches sometimes, especially if you love her, or have too much invested in her.

I've cheated on my girlfriends and been cheated on. It's just a fact of life here

If you really are worried take her to the Temple and ask her to tell you the truth in the presence of Buddha. She will probably be sufficiently superstitious of something bad happening to her or her family that she'll tell you the truth

Slip it in the 'tradesman's entrance' by mistake - that might bring her to her senses

my my, the farts that come outta your mouth. i feel you fancy yourself as a expert, i think not, your current gf is the player of you two, it is sad & funny you think you are in charge, oh well, another twit pretending, kinda cute :-)

[penwithcris]

Love it when my post receive a vitriolic response. It means that at least someone has read it

I make comments based on my own experiences, and knowledge gained from living in Thailand

They may not be your experiences but they are nonetheless, in my view, valid. It is called having an opinion, and to disagree with it by using schoolboy, lavatorial language does you no credit at all

[bobthomas]

Thai ladies don't seem to regard having a sexual relationship with another man as cheating. It is is more 'the done thing' in Thailand

Celebrities do it, persons of rank do it, Thai drama reinforces it, infidelity within families is commonplace.

I think you just have to roll with the punches sometimes, especially if you love her, or have too much invested in her.

I've cheated on my girlfriends and been cheated on. It's just a fact of life here

If you really are worried take her to the Temple and ask her to tell you the truth in the presence of Buddha. She will probably be sufficiently superstitious of something bad happening to her or her family that she'll tell you the truth

Slip it in the 'tradesman's entrance' by mistake - that might bring her to her senses

my my, the farts that come outta your mouth. i feel you fancy yourself as a expert, i think not, your current gf is the player of you two, it is sad & funny you think you are in charge, oh well, another twit pretending, kinda cute :-)

Are we going to start a new thread now in which a dozen Farangs are going to state that their Thai gf/wife is somehow "different"? You don't need to be "an expert" to state the obvious.

The only thing obvious is that the horde of old pattaya sexpats 'dating' prostitutes half their age have a completely different experience than the rest of us

and that's your biggest mistake. This is not a thread about prostitutes and their benefactors. It's about ignorance. A traditional Thai woman has almost as mush of a propensity to cheat than does the bar girl.

[bobthomas]

@ Mr Brad in Asia

No one said that: all the people in this country are liars, cheaters, and/or immoral, but I think we can all agree that Thai people will often lie for any number of reasons. Sometimes they mean well- sometimes they simply want to cover their own asses. Cheating? The concept itself has a western feel to it and smacks of ethnocentrism. In a culture with limited access to resources, people don't always have the luxury (or time, education and experience) to contemplate the specific circumstances by which they achieved good fortune. As far as "Morality" is concerned I suggest you go out tomorrow and ask as many Thai people as you can communicate with, what they think about the concept. Most likely you will get 50% of your answers following in lock step to the principles of Grengjai. They will tell you whatever you want to hear! The other 50% will have a tough time of getting a frame of reference for our western concepts of morality. As far as, "all humans being human", if they do have any commonality it would most likely be a Genetic disposition rather than the resultant cognitive condition of the process of enculturation and acculturation, and that is what we are talking about here! The precepts of Thai Traditional Culture as understood and followed by the indigenous people of Thailand- Something of which, despite your decades of experience here- you seem to have completely misunderstood.

[bobthomas]

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Don't dump her, just cheat back.

Cheating is a Thai national pastime, good for all ages and all social classes.

Best answer so far, Thais are the worst cheaters in the world, any chance they have to get laid they go for it, no exceptions.

Which is more immoral, cheating on someone or making generalized condemnations of an entire country's population? Just wondering...

Your tale of being in Thailand since 1962 and experiencing random acts of kindness, while entertaining, lacks a critical component of the Scientific method. Random acts of kindness exist in even the most deplorable of places, Nazi Germany, prison camps, etc, but that is not indicative of the underlying social and cultural process' that drive human behavior within any given society. Your hypothesis that because your experiences in Thailand have been favorable and people have been kind to you, does not prove or disprove the propensity for the Thai cultural paradigm to include infidelity into it's behavioral amalgam.

I am not the originator of this concept, although I do hold a degree in Cultural Anthropology and have been writing and lecturing about the cultural paradigm of the indigenous people of Asia for several decades now, my ideas come primarily from the work of William J. Klaussner (an Anthropologist that has been studying Thai culture since the mid 1950's), Mont Redmond, and the addition of hundreds of other Academic papers on the subject of Thai culture as well as close friendships with the people that have written them.

I have formulated my opinions based on the literature, my liaisons, and my field work in the region.

I suggest you forget about basing your theories of Thai traditional culture on the few random acts of kindness you have experienced in the Changwat, and instead obtain some literature written by the luminaries in the field. Read a few thousand pages, learn to read and write Thai, relate to every Thai person you know in their native language as much as possible, raise your children here, get first class insurance on your vehicles and your house, live here in that capacity for a few decades, delivering yourself from various misfortunes (by speaking Thai only), and then if you still find yourself so completely "VIVA" about Thailand we will have a new chat.

Thanks,

Uncle Bob

Edited January 9, 2015 by bobthomas

[BradinAsia]

<script type='text/javascript'>window.mod_pagespeed_start = Number(new Date());</script>

Don't dump her, just cheat back.

Cheating is a Thai national pastime, good for all ages and all social classes.

Best answer so far, Thais are the worst cheaters in the world, any chance they have to get laid they go for it, no exceptions.

Which is more immoral, cheating on someone or making generalized condemnations of an entire country's population? Just wondering...

I am not the originator of this concept, although I do hold a degree in Cultural Anthropology and have been writing about the cultural paradigm of the indigenous people of Asia for several decades, my ideas come primarily from the work of William J. Klaussner (an Anthropologist that has been studying Thai culture since the mid 1950's), Mont Redmond, with the addition hundreds of other Academic papers on the subject of Thai culture as well as close alliances with the people that have written them.

I have formulated my opinions based on the literature, the liaisons, and my field work in the region.

I suggest you forget about basing your theories of Thai traditional culture on the few random acts of kindness you have experienced in the Changwat, and instead obtain some literature written by the luminaries in the field. Read a few thousand pages, learn to read and write Thai, raise your children here, get first class insurance on your vehicles and your house, live here in that capacity for a few decades, delivering yourself from various misfortunes (by speaking Thai- without the help of anyone else) and then if you still find yourself so completely "VIVA" about Thailand we will have a new chat.

Thanks,

Uncle Bob

By "luminaries in the field" I assume you mean all these TV members who have lived for years in a country whose people they despise.

Doesn't seem very illuminating to me. By the way, you make some rather baseless assumption about my experiences in Thailand. I'd

venture to say that I've probably read thousands of pages more than you have since my degree, my job for 40 years and my hobby has

been Asian Studies. And I have no interest in chatting with anyone with such a negative view of life. Thanks anyway.

Good day to you.

[Summertime1]

Catching a cheating girlfriend can be difficult. We have found that unless the emails or text messages are very incriminating she will nearly always have an answer ( like he's just a friend).

It really depends how serious you are about her. As a previous poster said Fidelitycheckonline specialises in cheating Thai girlfriends. Private detectives can be good if you get the right one but can also be expensive.

You sound young my advice is to move on and find somebody you can trust There is a dating site for genuine Thai girls called lovelisa try that.