What is the best way to deal with security guards?

[hermesalpha]

Most security guards just don't pay so much attention to me, then there are some that smile, say something but I can feel it's not genuine. It's like when I walk away later they just laugh behind my back. Does anyone has any tips how to react to this, when they say something what reply to give them?

I lived in China at a hotel during 1 year, beside a military administrative center, and the security guards there (too many for this little hotel, similar hotels had maximum 1 security guard or noone) they simply harassed me. During 1 year. Each month the first 6 months I had to argue fiercly at the reception counter each time just to get a receipt that I had paid the rent that month. While the security guards stood there, smiling all the time, saying something to me (I just ignored them, didn't reply, at one time the security guard got pissed off because I ignored him and said Ta bu hao ren=he is a bad person).

Just like in Thailand, there are these all the time non-genuine smiling security guards, the genuine security guards and the ones that don't make much fuss (the best ones, you hardly notice them). When you live 6 months or 1 year and have to meet these non-genuine smiling security guards and you feel they are just making fun of you or harassing you, I rather choose another place to live at. Or if I already live there, choose a way of dealing with them so as just keep them at a distance all the time.

I had planned to have a dental treatment here during 6 months, but feel reluctant because of things like this.

How much trouble can a security guard make for me if I just ignore him (don't reply to him etc.)? What power do they have in Thailand?

[AnotherOneAmerican]

Ignore them, like all other servants.

Do not wai, nod, greet or in anyway acknowledge their presence as human beings.

Edited January 9, 2015 by AnotherOneAmerican

[Bangkokhatter]

You sound easily intimidated, most are probably just saying hello. To answer your question they have no power and you can easily ignore them. Having said that if it's the guards at your condo building why make an enemy ? Best buy him a couple of bottles of Leo and say hello next time.

[daveAustin]

Never had an issue, but find they are easily ignored. A nod and half smile is enough. Once you get on the plane of small talk about the weather, your sex life or whatever, you've opened the door to contempt. Having said that, one can, and should, be assertive in this culture without being a nob.

[eezergood]

This has to be a wind up!

[LivinginKata]

Inflammatory and troll posts are being removed without further notice.

[JOC]

From the OP>>:I had planned to have a dental treatment here during 6 months, but feel reluctant because of things like this.<<

Mate you don't need a dentist, but a different kind of doctor..............................

[keestha]

It is appreciated if you smile to security guards, but you are not expected to strike up a conversation with them or even greet.

[madmitch]

I don't think I have ever visited a dentist with security guards.

Weird post!

[bkkjames]

What do you do in the presence of police, wet yourself?

[NamKangMan]

When I have stayed in smaller establishments, all over Thailand, the security guard is usually asleep by the time I get home. I just sneak past him. Never had a problem.

The security guards at Jungceylon are a little strange, the way they salute you, when you walk through the door.

[KarenBravo]

How did this thread end up here?

[NamKangMan]

What do you do in the presence of police, wet yourself?

I'd wet myself as well, if he pulled 500g of meth out of his pocket and said, "This is yours, farang. How much you pay me?"

[NamKangMan]

How did this thread end up here?

The OP was banging on about China, so, with all the Chinese tourists here, it's in the Phuket forum.

[klauskunkel]

Seems to me that you have a chronic confidence problem. Fix that now, do the teeth later.

[maswov]

Maybe you should see the doc for your paranoia.

[orpheus454]

You're probably best to move back home with mum and dad.

[John1thru10]

Ignore them, like all other servants.

Do not wai, nod, greet or in anyway acknowledge their presence as human beings.

Why does this not surprise me from you.

[John1thru10]

I ask my s. guard each time I go to 7 if he needs anything. It's not gonna be something real big, because I'm always skint. But the tradition is I bring him an M150 late at night...or, if he asks, a beer sometimes. Same with the maidstaff and gardeners. Once a month or so we have a BBQ together, and I have a difficult time putting any money in for that, they won't let me. If someone's sick, or having a hard time, I'll bring them some cold medicine, or just whatever is reasonable that I can do. I could act hi-so over them, but it's just no fun for me to do that. I'd rather hear about what they're really thinking. I do see a very different side of things than it seems many posters here do, I'd say.

And the trick is, if I have a bad month, the maids cook me dinners and bring them to me. They seem to sense it, when it's needed. If I'm sick or something, they take me to their own clinic, which is great and a 10th of the price. And, this seems to be the case with most people I know in Thailand..not every random person out there, of course. But the Thai people I see each day, you better they know that I care. Why would I not want to? Others posters can be quite cynical, but over 5 years that's my experience.

Edited January 10, 2015 by John1thru10

[Yoshimura]

Personally I don't pay servants any kind of attention, most of them are usually trying to just wind you up specially if they know they can. I say Hi and really don't expect any kind of response in return. If it bothers you that much, like one of the posts stated, buy them a Leo and they will definitely be your friends but you will be bringing more problems onto yourself if you do that. The security guard that works or should I say sleeps by where I live, I bought an M-150 at 7-11 because I figured he needed some help staying awake and was appreciative of it as well. Within a few weeks he was already asking me if I could lend him some money, after that I would keep my hello's down to a minimum. In Thailand being nice is viewed as a sign of weakness, so keep that in mind and don't let wear your emotions on your sleeve so much. Thai's are good at concealing their emotions specially when they confront stressful situations and they enjoy winding farlangs up if know they can. Security guards only have as much as you will allow them to have, at this point you have granted them power over you, ignore them and focus on things that matter.

[John1thru10]

Personally I don't pay servants any kind of attention, most of them are usually trying to just wind you up specially if they know they can. I say Hi and really don't expect any kind of response in return. If it bothers you that much, like one of the posts stated, buy them a Leo and they will definitely be your friends but you will be bringing more problems onto yourself if you do that. The security guard that works or should I say sleeps by where I live, I bought an M-150 at 7-11 because I figured he needed some help staying awake and was appreciative of it as well. Within a few weeks he was already asking me if I could lend him some money, after that I would keep my hello's down to a minimum. In Thailand being nice is viewed as a sign of weakness, so keep that in mind and don't let wear your emotions on your sleeve so much. Thai's are good at concealing their emotions specially when they confront stressful situations and they enjoy winding farlangs up if know they can. Security guards only have as much as you will allow them to have, at this point you have granted them power over you, ignore them and focus on things that matter.

Being nice is not a sign of weakness. And as far as that horrible description of 'what Thai people really think', that's got to be one of the most cynical, depressing statements ever here. Why would you even want to be in a place where you saw people that negatively, is the next question.

Edited January 10, 2015 by John1thru10

[ExPratt]

Be loud and confident and invade their space , even if they don't understand you, If they are laughing go over , laughing yourself and loudly say to him/them "You alright Son" and give him a few good slaps on the shoulder whilst staring straight &lt;deleted&gt; at him. Be louder than them if they want to &lt;deleted&gt; about. This is the only language that a lot of these &lt;deleted&gt; understand. Ive worked on many jobs where I am the only Farang and with some people you have to send a message

[John1thru10]

Be loud and confident and invade their space , even if they don't understand you, If they are laughing go over , laughing yourself and loudly say to him/them "You alright Son" and give him a few good slaps on the shoulder whilst staring straight <deleted> at him. Be louder than them if they want to <deleted> about. This is the only language that a lot of these <deleted> understand. Ive worked on many jobs where I am the only Farang and with some people you have to send a message

Actually, a Thai person who I knew for many years in NYC once gave me similar advice, when I first moved here, and it's made a big difference in my experience over years now. I wouldn't personally take the 'loud' approach, but you could if it's natural for you. The person said to me 'Thai people, you sort of have to get in their face a little bit first, and then they'll deal with you.' And so since the beginning, I do go a little out of my way to take a moment with the figures I see every day in the neighborhood. I figure, I'm here because I like Thai culture, not to lord over it as it's western master. If you ask me, people who do act that way are deluded. There's a big difference between Thai people not being rude, and actually liking you. And the actual liking part is way more interesting.

Edited January 10, 2015 by John1thru10

[ExPratt]

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Be loud and confident and invade their space , even if they don't understand you, If they are laughing go over , laughing yourself and loudly say to him/them "You alright Son" and give him a few good slaps on the shoulder whilst staring straight <deleted> at him. Be louder than them if they want to <deleted> about. This is the only language that a lot of these <deleted> understand. Ive worked on many jobs where I am the only Farang and with some people you have to send a message

Actually, a Thai person who I knew for many years in NYC once gave me similar advice, when I first moved here, and it's made a big difference in my experience of Thailand over years now. I wouldn't personally take the 'loud' approach, often. But they said to me 'Thai people, you sort of have to get in their face a little bit first, and then they'll deal with you.' And so since then, over years, I do go a little out of my way to stare into people's eyes, and acknowledge the people in my neighborhood, 'important' or not. And I do notice that my experience of my neighborhood is very different than some other farangs around me. I don't have the experience of being 'ripped off' that people here talk about so often.

Yep , you have to impose yourself a bit , no need to be threatening or violent , just let them know you are there and by your actions are not the type of person to take any shit.

[TomYumpoochai]

And always check if your security man moonlights as a dentist. You wouldnt want a root canal done by him after hes just done a 12 hour nightshift.... unless you'd bought him a m150 the night before

[Pomthai]

Cake. Give security a cup cake every day for a week.

[mike324]

Seems like you are having a bad experience in China, and are afraid of the same thing happening in Thailand?

Most security guards here are pretty nice to tenants, if you want them to suck up to you, buy them a red bull or soda once in a while or during holidays, they will be very happy.

Don't over think your bad experience.

[Yoshimura]

John 1 thru 10, it seems as if though you took my post personal, it's a realistic view and not necessarily negative but this is a different culture and if you think you know Thai people based on your interaction with them, than your social paths are much different. Let me guess I take you are probably married or have a thai girl that you give money to and her family as well, based on your response to my post I think you are naïve. I think you need to get out more and try different social paths.

[mikiea]

Ignore them, like all other servants.

Do not wai, nod, greet or in anyway acknowledge their presence as human beings.

ehh...hermes , kinda cry baby are you? their smile is not real? good god, when you fell off the turnip truck you banged up your head pretty hard. :-)

[grumpyoldman]

John 1 thru 10, it seems as if though you took my post personal, it's a realistic view and not necessarily negative but this is a different culture and if you think you know Thai people based on your interaction with them, than your social paths are much different. Let me guess I take you are probably married or have a thai girl that you give money to and her family as well, based on your response to my post I think you are naïve. I think you need to get out more and try different social paths.

Man, you come off as super arrogant. "Personally I don't pay servants any kind of attention", since when are security people servants? What social paths are you on when your brain is working in master and servant mode? In this last post you are making massive assumptions.

To the OP, politeness always works, and then beyond just being polite in the interaction, don't worry about them. Seems you've got your knickers pinched up in a whole lot of nothing.