Am I being unreasonable ?

[In Search of Space]

Quick background, been coming to Thailand for 30 years, married 27 and been coming regularly for vacations, length increasing and possible retirement sometime this year. I did work in Bangkok for two years, the point of this is I know a little of the country and its people.

We just arrived in Thailand after five months away and for the first time my wife left our car at her sisters home in North Bangkok. We arrived, picked up the car and after a mile or two, I noticed that the mileometer was reading 25,000 km more than when we left.

Got home and wanted to jet-wash the yard, plus some other jobs, where's the jet-wash ?, sister has it, using it for her new "construction" business, so it's probably knackered.

Told the wife to inform sister,

Pay for service, plus half cost of new brake pads
Return jet-wash immediately, today, or I buy a new one and she pays the cost

Wife says she needs it for her job ! Plus she would have to drive from Nong Jok to Pattaya (5 hour round trip).

Her sister has always taken the piss, but now she has surpassed herself, am I being unreasonable ?

[AYJAYDEE]

if you been coming here for 30 years and you didnt expect that, you been living in a cave. unreasonable? perhaps not. unrealistic? oh yeah!

[Lucifer]

30 years in Thailand and you've learnt very little about the Thai's.

[Bakeman]

Should always make agreements before hand. What belongs to you belongs to your wife and pretty much her family and if you don't want your things tinkered with then lock them up as I do. Don't lose your face and the face of your wife after all these years. You will look sticky (Cheap). At least your car was watched after and not stolen.

Greng jai.... my friend....greng jai....

[Rooo]

Moved to Expat life.

[In Search of Space]

Yo would say I agree with you all, only to be expected. In my defence I did not know that the wife had left the car at her sisters as she left after me. When she told me, I knida knew what would happen, but I thought 25,000 km was a little excessive. If the jet-wash was isolated, I would have let it go.

BTW sister lived in Switzerland for 20 years, so has plenty of cash, plus she has her own car

[LuckyLew]

You are only being unreasonable in thinking your stuff in Thailand is actually your stuff

To be gone fro 5 months and only lose the jet spray and a few kilos on the car ... well I think you have done good

[daveAustin]

I don't think you're being unreasonable. You don't have to bend over backwards because the culture expects it like some of us meek lot seem to do, or even lose 'face'. IMO, bad karma is far worse than pissing off those who walk over you and take the piss through their own greed/laziness/tightness. The car could have been rented out and thrashed. Thais may appear laidback and not let it bother them, but there are also a lot of Thai chaps that would go ape if the in-laws did this.

[Berkshire]

Yo would say I agree with you all, only to be expected. In my defence I did not know that the wife had left the car at her sisters as she left after me. When she told me, I knida knew what would happen, but I thought 25,000 km was a little excessive. If the jet-wash was isolated, I would have let it go.

BTW sister lived in Switzerland for 20 years, so has plenty of cash, plus she has her own car

Not sure if 25,000 km is excessive, but at least she looked after it for you. Better than leaving it on the street for 5 months and coming back to no car at all.

[Gecko123]

OP:

25000 km in 5 months?

Someone used that vehicle heavily during your absence, and unless you or your wife explicitly gave your sister's wife permission to do this, no one could reasonably claim that they had your implied consent to do so.

I would demand compensation from your wife's sister. One baht per kilometer would be letting her off easy, and teach her a much-needed lesson as well.

Edited January 12, 2015 by Gecko123

[In Search of Space]

Yo would say I agree with you all, only to be expected. In my defence I did not know that the wife had left the car at her sisters as she left after me. When she told me, I knida knew what would happen, but I thought 25,000 km was a little excessive. If the jet-wash was isolated, I would have let it go.

BTW sister lived in Switzerland for 20 years, so has plenty of cash, plus she has her own car

Not sure if 25,000 km is excessive, but at least she looked after it for you. Better than leaving it on the street for 5 months and coming back to no car at all.

Know what you mean, but it has always been left locked up, behind locked gates, with security at the entrance, never any problems. My wife is pissed about it too, although won't say anything, but she should have known when her sister suggested that the car be left with her for safety !

I don't mind people borrowing the car and I have a few friends in Pattaya (Thai) who I have let borrow the car before, but they call and ask if they need it. They have also lent me their cars in the past, so I have no trouble with them borrowing mine.

[seajae]

mate I would not be happy either, when I bought the new car(manual) the first rule I laid down was it was only for me and my wife to drive, if anyone else touched it I would report it as stolen. The wifes car & bike continually disappear without anyone asking if they can borrow them then they are returned with an empty fuel tank(usually full when taken), it really pisses me off. The "family" now know they are not to touch anything belonging to me unless they ask first and it has to be returned asap, if they break it they replace it, simple. I dont mind lending things and helping them when I can but there are limits. Will depend on exactly how much your wife respects you as to what eventually happens or if face/family is more important.

[Loptr]

Your wife's mother probably told the sister it was ok... No ploblem... jing jing, khun farang jai dee...

[In Search of Space]

Your wife's mother probably told the sister it was ok... No ploblem... jing jing, khun farang jai dee...

The MIL died 10 years ago, but may have given blessing from her death bed or telepathically, or both, who knows ?

[garrya]

Mind that family enjoys priority over farangs even if the farang is a husband.

[marko kok prong]

Typical here really,the Thai's seem to have a more communal outlook on things,just the way they are.

[AYJAYDEE]

Mind that family enjoys priority over farangs even if the farang is a husband.

not in every case

[transam]

Sounds like your ride was rented out.........

But this shit is normal. You are right to kick up a fuss so perhaps they will not take the piss in the future.....

[Twice shy]

If someone put 25,000 km on my car in under six months without asking they would be buying the car if they liked it or not

To call that taking the piss is a understatement ...insult would be more correct

I would phone your sister in law up and personally tell her she is a first prize piss taker that has pushed to far !!!!!

Call her out ....do not take this on the chin

[AYJAYDEE]

If someone put 25,000 km on my car in under six months without asking they would be buying the car if they liked it or not

To call that taking the piss is a understatement ...insult would be more correct

I would phone your sister in law up and personally tell her she is a first prize piss taker that has pushed to far !!!!!

Call her out ....do not take this on the chin

and how would you enforce your tough guy stance??

[transam]

OP, be sure to get your ride serviced NOW......They would not have done it..........

[robblok]

I would be royally pissed for sure and demand compensation, especially if the other party is not poor. This kind of thing is selfish in the extreme of the sister who has her own car.

[transam]

I would be royally pissed for sure and demand compensation, especially if the other party is not poor. This kind of thing is selfish in the extreme of the sister who has her own car.

I saw my wifes hi-so brother inlaw take toilet rolls out of my place.

And no, I did not ferk the guy over it......karma did it for me........Long story......

[robblok]

I would be royally pissed for sure and demand compensation, especially if the other party is not poor. This kind of thing is selfish in the extreme of the sister who has her own car.

I saw my wifes hi-so brother inlaw take toilet rolls out of my place.

And no, I did not ferk the guy over it......karma did it for me........Long story......

Never a problem here.. its all about setting boundaries early on. (and not living too close)

[transam]

I would be royally pissed for sure and demand compensation, especially if the other party is not poor. This kind of thing is selfish in the extreme of the sister who has her own car.

I saw my wifes hi-so brother inlaw take toilet rolls out of my place.

And no, I did not ferk the guy over it......karma did it for me........Long story......

Never a problem here.. its all about setting boundaries early on. (and not living too close)

They don't live close and they do not come here anymore......my karma............

[garrya]

Mind that family enjoys priority over farangs even if the farang is a husband.

not in every case

In most of the cases.

[apetley]

Before moving to Thailand for good the in-laws always looked after my stuff including a pickup and motorbike. Apart from running the engine now and again to keep the battery good they never ever took them outside the house. Maybe I'm lucky and if the opportunity happened to me I'd be very pee'd off.

[apetley]

Mind that family enjoys priority over farangs even if the farang is a husband.

not in every case

In most of the cases.

Before moving to Thailand for good the in-laws always looked after my stuff including a pickup and motorbike. Apart from running the engine now and again to keep the battery good they never ever took them outside the house. Maybe I'm lucky and if the op happened to me I'd be very pee'd off.

[Gecko123]

I think it's total BS to try to justify the wife's sister's behavior as a "cultural difference."

You've never noticed how protective a Thai guy is about his new wheels?

You put 25,000 km on a car behind the back of a Thai guy, you better be wearing good running shoes and a bulletproof vest when he finds out!

Edited January 12, 2015 by Gecko123

[AYJAYDEE]

Mind that family enjoys priority over farangs even if the farang is a husband.

not in every case

In most of the cases.

how the hell do you know that?