Parenthood

[Confuscious]

About 5 years ago, I decided to divorce my Thai ex-wife.
She was continuously gambling (lottery, casino, cards, etc.) and the gambling debts was increasing every year.
That was the major reason for a divorce.

Initially I took a (Thai) lawyer to handle the divorce, but after I found out that he was doing more for my ex-wife than for me, I chose to handle everything myself.

My ex-wife accepted the divorce and we signed the divorce papers without a lawyer.

As she had a lot of gambling debts and was not able to take care of our daughter (who was 7 year old at that time) she gave me the sole parenthood.

This was written in the divorce papers.

My ex-wife asked some money for the divorce agreement and we agreed that I would pay her 40,000 Baht for signing the divorce agreement and giving me the sole parenthood of our child.

My ex-wife who was a bar girl in Pattaya when I meet her, returned to work in the bars in Pattaya and never took care of our child.

Now, after 5 years of divorce, she has meet some old guy in the bars of Pattaya and she wrote me that she (they) wanted our daughter back.

If I would not give our daughter to her, she would go to the court as she has now a boyfriend who has lots of money to help her.

My question is:

Can she get the custody of our child back after all this years?

What can I do to avoid her to get the custody of our child?

Please, only answers to this topic.

[Twice shy]

Get a good lawyer this time and do not try and represent yourself in court

Get your wallet out as it looks like it is time to spend your money to protect your kid

she is the kids parent also remember and peoples situations change maybe it's time to talk

All the best

[HCB]

Sorry to hear that. Well, Can you please answer me my questions ?

1. How old is your daugther now ?

2. Your ex-wife still working as bar girl now ? >>If she still working as bar girl the court will not allow kid to live with her.

3. She not yet re-married with that rich guy ?>> The court still not accept to allow your kid to live with her.

4. As you said you divorced for 5 yrs ? And Since that time your ex-wife has been keep contacting or supporting you and your daugther ?>> If she disappeared sinced you dicorced and suddently contacted you and your daugther, it is non sense that the court will listen her. But this you must proove to the court how:

Cheer !

[Confuscious]

Sorry to hear that. Well, Can you please answer me my questions ?

1. How old is your daugther now ?

2. Your ex-wife still working as bar girl now ? >>If she still working as bar girl the court will not allow kid to live with her.

3. She not yet re-married with that rich guy ?>> The court still not accept to allow your kid to live with her.

4. As you said you divorced for 5 yrs ? And Since that time your ex-wife has been keep contacting or supporting you and your daugther ?>> If she disappeared sinced you dicorced and suddently contacted you and your daugther, it is non sense that the court will listen her. But this you must proove to the court how:

Cheer !

My daughter is 12 years now.

My ex-wife was working as a bar girl in February 2014.

I have the proof and the name of the bar for that.

But I don't know what she is doing now.

We have already 5 years no contact.

Also, for the same reason, I don't know if she married that other "rich" guy.

Since we divorced, my ex-wife did not tried to contact me or our daughter,

She also never supported me or our daughter since we divorced.

If she would claim that she did supported me or our daughter, or that she contacted me or our daughter, would the burden of proof not be on her side?

Thanks for your information.

[recycler]

Get a good lawyer and don't worry too much.

No contact for 5 years and no support doesn't make her case very strong.

The court will hear you daughter too as she's 12 she can give a reasonable statement of what she wants and about you caring for her the past 5 years.

Make sure that your daughter is safe to avoid kidnapping, that's probably you biggest risk at this stage, I see no reason for a court to give her custody based on what you mention.

[oneday]

It sounds like you don't have much to worry about, but as "Twice shy" said I'd get a good lawyer and I think your lawyer would be able to get rid of this stupid ridiculous desire of your ex-wife's. I think at best your ex might be able to get visitation rights. However, if you live far enough away I doubt she would travel long distances to visit a daughter who might very well resent her. I also doubt the court would force you to make anything easy for the mother such as making you move closer. So the further you live away from her mother the better it is for you.

Lastly, and I think this is the best outcome of all, your daughter is 12 years old and certainly old enough that the court should listen to what she has to say. Unless you are a bad father I'm sure your daughter would be a little scared of being pulled away from you, the only loving parent she has ever known in the last 5 years, and dumped into the lap of a parent who has never taken the time to get to know her own daughter. So I think it's pretty clear your daughter would tell the court she does not want to be placed with her mother. At most, she may want her mother to visit her.

Also, if you and your daughter are tight, then she will be a witness to the fact her mother has not supported her and that her mother has not tried to see her before now. It is hard to see any court, even in Thailand, grantoing her mother anything other than infrequent visitation rights. After a couple of years of visitation her mother could try this again, but then your daughter will be even older and the court will definitely listen to what your daughter has to say.

Good luck.

[AnotherOneAmerican]

Custody agreement at Amphur office divorce is completely binding.

Only your death can change it.

Her chance to change it ZERO.

I wouldn't even bother with a lawyer, as you have previously found, Thai lawyer works for Thai.

Her threats of court action are just empty threats.

[jacko45k]

You need a lawyer.

A good one that your wife cannot influence.

That should be all this board can tell you.

Good luck.

[catman20]

go missing, not know at this address should do the trick

[rotary]

Get a good lawyer and I think you should be in good shape. My guess is when the new wears off this new "Old" lover of hers will be gone anyway, maybe even sooner when he sobers up. I hope he remembers to take his brain from the checked luggage booth at the airport before he departs Thailand.

[HCB]

Sorry to hear that. Well, Can you please answer me my questions ?

1. How old is your daugther now ?

2. Your ex-wife still working as bar girl now ? >>If she still working as bar girl the court will not allow kid to live with her.

3. She not yet re-married with that rich guy ?>> The court still not accept to allow your kid to live with her.

4. As you said you divorced for 5 yrs ? And Since that time your ex-wife has been keep contacting or supporting you and your daugther ?>> If she disappeared sinced you dicorced and suddently contacted you and your daugther, it is non sense that the court will listen her. But this you must proove to the court how:

Cheer !

My daughter is 12 years now.

My ex-wife was working as a bar girl in February 2014.

I have the proof and the name of the bar for that.

But I don't know what she is doing now.

We have already 5 years no contact.

Also, for the same reason, I don't know if she married that other "rich" guy.

Since we divorced, my ex-wife did not tried to contact me or our daughter,

She also never supported me or our daughter since we divorced.

If she would claim that she did supported me or our daughter, or that she contacted me or our daughter, would the burden of proof not be on her side?

Thanks for your information.

As you know you & Ex have right 50/50 custody your child. But the important thing : The day when you divorced at the amphur did you made any agreement btw you & ex, about custdy of your child ? Such as you will be only one to look after or take care your child on that day ? Or you not wrote anythings about custody ? if did , you have right 100% to your child , mother can't take her from you but she will have right only visiting her.

But if you not, the court will consideration on the financial security and the court will ask your child too that she would live with father or mother.

One more , did you write down some reason at amphur why you divorced your ex like: because your ex addicted on gamble and had more debt on that ?

And the reason that for 5 yrs she never contacted you and child, she can says that because she didn't know your address or you not allow her to visit or contact the child. Then you must be sure with your child that when the court asks her she can answer the real situation and she insists to live with you.

Careful for mother will convince child to live with her and don't let her away with her mother without you , you should not away when her mother come visit because if your child go with your ex, it will be more complicated.

Don't worry you will be the winner finallny!

[Confuscious]

Get a good lawyer and don't worry too much.

No contact for 5 years and no support doesn't make her case very strong.

The court will hear you daughter too as she's 12 she can give a reasonable statement of what she wants and about you caring for her the past 5 years.

Make sure that your daughter is safe to avoid kidnapping, that's probably you biggest risk at this stage, I see no reason for a court to give her custody based on what you mention.

Thank you for your input.

Although "kidnapping" would be a higher and more secure risk, I haven't thought of that.

I think I better start to close that loophole for her today.

[Confuscious]

Sorry to hear that. Well, Can you please answer me my questions ?

1. How old is your daugther now ?

2. Your ex-wife still working as bar girl now ? >>If she still working as bar girl the court will not allow kid to live with her.

3. She not yet re-married with that rich guy ?>> The court still not accept to allow your kid to live with her.

4. As you said you divorced for 5 yrs ? And Since that time your ex-wife has been keep contacting or supporting you and your daugther ?>> If she disappeared sinced you dicorced and suddently contacted you and your daugther, it is non sense that the court will listen her. But this you must proove to the court how:

Cheer !

My daughter is 12 years now.

My ex-wife was working as a bar girl in February 2014.

I have the proof and the name of the bar for that.

But I don't know what she is doing now.

We have already 5 years no contact.

Also, for the same reason, I don't know if she married that other "rich" guy.

Since we divorced, my ex-wife did not tried to contact me or our daughter,

She also never supported me or our daughter since we divorced.

If she would claim that she did supported me or our daughter, or that she contacted me or our daughter, would the burden of proof not be on her side?

Thanks for your information.

As you know you & Ex have right 50/50 custody your child. But the important thing : The day when you divorced at the amphur did you made any agreement btw you & ex, about custdy of your child ? Such as you will be only one to look after or take care your child on that day ? Or you not wrote anythings about custody ? if did , you have right 100% to your child , mother can't take her from you but she will have right only visiting her.

But if you not, the court will consideration on the financial security and the court will ask your child too that she would live with father or mother.

One more , did you write down some reason at amphur why you divorced your ex like: because your ex addicted on gamble and had more debt on that ?

And the reason that for 5 yrs she never contacted you and child, she can says that because she didn't know your address or you not allow her to visit or contact the child. Then you must be sure with your child that when the court asks her she can answer the real situation and she insists to live with you.

Careful for mother will convince child to live with her and don't let her away with her mother without you , you should not away when her mother come visit because if your child go with your ex, it will be more complicated.

Don't worry you will be the winner finallny!

I am not sure of your claims about 50/50 custody.

At the divorce 5 years ago, she "sold" our daughter to me for 40,000 baht.

This agreement was written at the Amphur and signed by Officials at the Amphur.

This agreement was signed separately from the divorce papers which state very clearly that "I get the SOLE parenthood about our child."

There was nothing written about her gambling debts in the divorce papers, but I have a signed and stamped document from my lawyer (who made an inquiry about her gambling debts about 1 month before the divorce) stating that my ex-wife had an accumulated debt of +800 KBaht.

This inquiry did not count with the little debts from personal loans.

"Not knowing my address" would be the most flawed excuse she could think off.

I still live in the same house as when we were married and she found the way to my house when I had a new GF and she came make a scene at my house that my GF should pay her 50,000 Baht because she was my "mia noy".

Finally, I not force the child to stay with me.

She is 12 year old and she can go to the mother if that is what she wants.

But I explained to her what she have now and what is awaiting her in the village of my wife.

I don't think that my child will chose to go with the mother, although she may chose (require) that the mother would her visit her if the mother wants to see the child.

That might look like fun for a month or two, but I guess that the mother (and her new bf) will lose interest after that time.

Thanks

[phrodan]

Sorry to hear that. Well, Can you please answer me my questions ?

1. How old is your daugther now ?

2. Your ex-wife still working as bar girl now ? >>If she still working as bar girl the court will not allow kid to live with her.

3. She not yet re-married with that rich guy ?>> The court still not accept to allow your kid to live with her.

4. As you said you divorced for 5 yrs ? And Since that time your ex-wife has been keep contacting or supporting you and your daugther ?>> If she disappeared sinced you dicorced and suddently contacted you and your daugther, it is non sense that the court will listen her. But this you must proove to the court how:

Cheer !

My daughter is 12 years now.

My ex-wife was working as a bar girl in February 2014.

I have the proof and the name of the bar for that.

But I don't know what she is doing now.

We have already 5 years no contact.

Also, for the same reason, I don't know if she married that other "rich" guy.

Since we divorced, my ex-wife did not tried to contact me or our daughter,

She also never supported me or our daughter since we divorced.

If she would claim that she did supported me or our daughter, or that she contacted me or our daughter, would the burden of proof not be on her side?

Thanks for your information.

As you know you & Ex have right 50/50 custody your child. But the important thing : The day when you divorced at the amphur did you made any agreement btw you & ex, about custdy of your child ? Such as you will be only one to look after or take care your child on that day ? Or you not wrote anythings about custody ? if did , you have right 100% to your child , mother can't take her from you but she will have right only visiting her.

But if you not, the court will consideration on the financial security and the court will ask your child too that she would live with father or mother.

One more , did you write down some reason at amphur why you divorced your ex like: because your ex addicted on gamble and had more debt on that ?

And the reason that for 5 yrs she never contacted you and child, she can says that because she didn't know your address or you not allow her to visit or contact the child. Then you must be sure with your child that when the court asks her she can answer the real situation and she insists to live with you.

Careful for mother will convince child to live with her and don't let her away with her mother without you , you should not away when her mother come visit because if your child go with your ex, it will be more complicated.

Don't worry you will be the winner finallny!

I am not sure of your claims about 50/50 custody.

At the divorce 5 years ago, she "sold" our daughter to me for 40,000 baht.

This agreement was written at the Amphur and signed by Officials at the Amphur.

This agreement was signed separately from the divorce papers which state very clearly that "I get the SOLE parenthood about our child."

There was nothing written about her gambling debts in the divorce papers, but I have a signed and stamped document from my lawyer (who made an inquiry about her gambling debts about 1 month before the divorce) stating that my ex-wife had an accumulated debt of +800 KBaht.

This inquiry did not count with the little debts from personal loans.

"Not knowing my address" would be the most flawed excuse she could think off.

I still live in the same house as when we were married and she found the way to my house when I had a new GF and she came make a scene at my house that my GF should pay her 50,000 Baht because she was my "mia noy".

Finally, I not force the child to stay with me.

She is 12 year old and she can go to the mother if that is what she wants.

But I explained to her what she have now and what is awaiting her in the village of my wife.

I don't think that my child will chose to go with the mother, although she may chose (require) that the mother would her visit her if the mother wants to see the child.

That might look like fun for a month or two, but I guess that the mother (and her new bf) will lose interest after that time.

Thanks

You have nothing to worry about. The Amphur document is all you need.

Don't even answer the letter.

I will take issue with you on one thing - don't even give your child the option of going to her mother. She's not going and that's it - you must be deranged to even remotely consider for a second it's up to your twelve year old to decide. You are the father, maintain full and absolute control of her until she is at least sixteen - and why?

When she arrives in the village she will be subjected to extreme emotional pressure from the extended family - everyone will have an opinion and they'll lean on her big time. This girl will enter her teens under the roof of a bar girl and a guy who is a complete stranger to her. She'll be emotionally confused, and you just know her mother is going to fill her head full of lies about you. What kind of loving father would allow that to happen to their daughter? This is not a choice you present to a twelve year old - you are the father, she's staying with you and that's it.

[AnotherOneAmerican]

Just a warning,

You should not allow the 12yo to be unsupervised with her mother at any time.

Bar girls often rent out their daughters, or allow their bfs 'access' to their daughters.

You don't want to risk that sort of thing happening.

It's incredibly common in Thailand.

[GOLDBUGGY]

Extremely unlikely she has any chance at all.

More likely she is after you for more money and her old boyfriend is a liar! Or she is, and he doesn't exist! Bar Girls Learn from Bar Girls, all the Dirty Tricks! Count on 1 hand how much Child Support she has given you over the years! But if she did have this Old B.F., he would probably be more happy with her without your daughter, so he is on your side. No Man wants to take on extra access baggage, unless it goes with the trip, and he has to. Or a Child Molester!

If your daughter is happy with you she stands even far less chance no matter how much money your x can raise. You have proved yourself as the sole parent and if the court can see you have done a fare job, they will not change anything. If you are a terrible Parent, then you don't deserve her, and she should get away from you.The Courts will see this to!

Obviously your x is waiting for some reply from you. Just tell her you have no intentions of giving your daughter up, or giving her any more money. This is what this is all about anyway! Tell her if she makes an issue you will fight it in court. But that you will also delay things as much as possible. So that when the court finally makes a final decision, your daughter will be 18 years old, and she can decide where she wants to live then.

Do Nothing! If your wife really does go to a Lawyer, and if he is a good one, he would advise her to drop her case! As she has no chance! Only if you are served with legal papers you should seek the advice of a Lawyer. My bet, which is a dime to a dog shit, this day will never come! The only chance she has of winning is if you don't fight back, after the legal papers arrive. By making you think you have no chance is the only way this would happen.

If all else fail use your logic! If you were a Judge, concerned with your child,s welfare, where would you prefer to see her go? To a loving parent, who has loved her, took care of her for 5 years, and made her happy these past 5 years, no matter his means? Or a Bar Girl, who has as many different Boyfriends in a month as you changed your shorts in that month?

[bbbbooboo]

In all these "adversarial " situations with some thai women, the one thing that can be guaranteed is stupidity. Stupidity in this situation( other than in its ordinary meaning of a stupid person doing stupid things) I suggest includes an inability to problem solve or negotiate a reality based solution. Add to this a fixation with money together with overvalued ideas as to personal ablility and essentially you will be dealing with someone who is a child who was "brought up" by people who also had the mentality of a child. I rest my case.

[Rv Hawee]

NO ! She can't and she musn't !

Don't let your daugther even meet her "just for try" alone with her !

For your sake and your daugther safety don't leave her unattended at all. Tell the school too ! You are the sole and legal parent of your daugther, don't discut this anymore.

Be very careful please.

[HCB]

Sorry to hear that. Well, Can you please answer me my questions ?

1. How old is your daugther now ?

2. Your ex-wife still working as bar girl now ? >>If she still working as bar girl the court will not allow kid to live with her.

3. She not yet re-married with that rich guy ?>> The court still not accept to allow your kid to live with her.

4. As you said you divorced for 5 yrs ? And Since that time your ex-wife has been keep contacting or supporting you and your daugther ?>> If she disappeared sinced you dicorced and suddently contacted you and your daugther, it is non sense that the court will listen her. But this you must proove to the court how:

Cheer !

My daughter is 12 years now.

My ex-wife was working as a bar girl in February 2014.

I have the proof and the name of the bar for that.

But I don't know what she is doing now.

We have already 5 years no contact.

Also, for the same reason, I don't know if she married that other "rich" guy.

Since we divorced, my ex-wife did not tried to contact me or our daughter,

She also never supported me or our daughter since we divorced.

If she would claim that she did supported me or our daughter, or that she contacted me or our daughter, would the burden of proof not be on her side?

Thanks for your information.

As you know you & Ex have right 50/50 custody your child. But the important thing : The day when you divorced at the amphur did you made any agreement btw you & ex, about custdy of your child ? Such as you will be only one to look after or take care your child on that day ? Or you not wrote anythings about custody ? if did , you have right 100% to your child , mother can't take her from you but she will have right only visiting her.

But if you not, the court will consideration on the financial security and the court will ask your child too that she would live with father or mother.

One more , did you write down some reason at amphur why you divorced your ex like: because your ex addicted on gamble and had more debt on that ?

And the reason that for 5 yrs she never contacted you and child, she can says that because she didn't know your address or you not allow her to visit or contact the child. Then you must be sure with your child that when the court asks her she can answer the real situation and she insists to live with you.

Careful for mother will convince child to live with her and don't let her away with her mother without you , you should not away when her mother come visit because if your child go with your ex, it will be more complicated.

Don't worry you will be the winner finallny!

I am not sure of your claims about 50/50 custody.

At the divorce 5 years ago, she "sold" our daughter to me for 40,000 baht.

This agreement was written at the Amphur and signed by Officials at the Amphur.

This agreement was signed separately from the divorce papers which state very clearly that "I get the SOLE parenthood about our child."

There was nothing written about her gambling debts in the divorce papers, but I have a signed and stamped document from my lawyer (who made an inquiry about her gambling debts about 1 month before the divorce) stating that my ex-wife had an accumulated debt of +800 KBaht.

This inquiry did not count with the little debts from personal loans.

"Not knowing my address" would be the most flawed excuse she could think off.

I still live in the same house as when we were married and she found the way to my house when I had a new GF and she came make a scene at my house that my GF should pay her 50,000 Baht because she was my "mia noy".

Finally, I not force the child to stay with me.

She is 12 year old and she can go to the mother if that is what she wants.

But I explained to her what she have now and what is awaiting her in the village of my wife.

I don't think that my child will chose to go with the mother, although she may chose (require) that the mother would her visit her if the mother wants to see the child.

That might look like fun for a month or two, but I guess that the mother (and her new bf) will lose interest after that time.

Thanks

You can say to the court that you are the father then as her mom works at bar and now your daugther is getting teenager so you can't let your child to live with her mother with the new bf because how can you trust the bf of her mother will not hurt or sexual problem. This reason 100% absolutely the court will close the case for you.

Good luck !

[stat088]

Just a warning,

You should not allow the 12yo to be unsupervised with her mother at any time.

Bar girls often rent out their daughters, or allow their bfs 'access' to their daughters.

You don't want to risk that sort of thing happening.

It's incredibly common in Thailand.

Especially gamblers. A bar girl with a gambling problem is double trouble.

She says she has hooked a big fish and now wants her daughter back. Is it possible what she really wants is more money?

[nithisa78]

impossible to give good answer with near no information. facts not drama. this is not being done for love of the child.

[Liquorice]

Confuscious, on 12 Jan 2015 - 23:16, said:

HCB, on 12 Jan 2015 - 22:08, said:

Sorry to hear that. Well, Can you please answer me my questions ?

1. How old is your daugther now ?

2. Your ex-wife still working as bar girl now ? >>If she still working as bar girl the court will not allow kid to live with her.

3. She not yet re-married with that rich guy ?>> The court still not accept to allow your kid to live with her.

4. As you said you divorced for 5 yrs ? And Since that time your ex-wife has been keep contacting or supporting you and your daugther ?>> If she disappeared sinced you dicorced and suddently contacted you and your daugther, it is non sense that the court will listen her. But this you must proove to the court how:

Cheer !

My daughter is 12 years now.

My ex-wife was working as a bar girl in February 2014.

I have the proof and the name of the bar for that.

But I don't know what she is doing now.

We have already 5 years no contact.

Also, for the same reason, I don't know if she married that other "rich" guy.

Since we divorced, my ex-wife did not tried to contact me or our daughter,

She also never supported me or our daughter since we divorced.

If she would claim that she did supported me or our daughter, or that she contacted me or our daughter, would the burden of proof not be on her side?

Thanks for your information.

Based on that evidence alone, the burden of proof would be on your ex wife.

I expect that child services would also speak to your child as well about her wishes.

Your ex would be mad to try and gain custody after all these years.

It would be an injustice to separate you and your daughter after such a long period.

I'm speaking from experience but under UK laws.

The kids and I didn't see my ex wife for 2 years, then she tried to get custody.

It was thrown out of Court.

The trouble is al the worrying and expense in between and I really sympathise with how you feel right now.

The main thing is to remain strong.

Laugh at your ex and tell her if she tries that stunt your going to claim back all your legal expenses off her when she loses.

I doubt if this new found boyfriend will be around much longer to be honest.

Then the bottom will drop out of her bucket.

[Rhys]

Confuscious, on 12 Jan 2015 - 23:16, said:

HCB, on 12 Jan 2015 - 22:08, said:

Sorry to hear that. Well, Can you please answer me my questions ?

1. How old is your daugther now ?

2. Your ex-wife still working as bar girl now ? >>If she still working as bar girl the court will not allow kid to live with her.

3. She not yet re-married with that rich guy ?>> The court still not accept to allow your kid to live with her.

4. As you said you divorced for 5 yrs ? And Since that time your ex-wife has been keep contacting or supporting you and your daugther ?>> If she disappeared sinced you dicorced and suddently contacted you and your daugther, it is non sense that the court will listen her. But this you must proove to the court how:

Cheer !

My daughter is 12 years now.

My ex-wife was working as a bar girl in February 2014.

I have the proof and the name of the bar for that.

But I don't know what she is doing now.

We have already 5 years no contact.

Also, for the same reason, I don't know if she married that other "rich" guy.

Since we divorced, my ex-wife did not tried to contact me or our daughter,

She also never supported me or our daughter since we divorced.

If she would claim that she did supported me or our daughter, or that she contacted me or our daughter, would the burden of proof not be on her side?

Thanks for your information.

Based on that evidence alone, the burden of proof would be on your ex wife.

I expect that child services would also speak to your child as well about her wishes.

Your ex would be mad to try and gain custody after all these years.

It would be an injustice to separate you and your daughter after such a long period.

I'm speaking from experience but under UK laws.

The kids and I didn't see my ex wife for 2 years, then she tried to get custody.

It was thrown out of Court.

The trouble is al the worrying and expense in between and I really sympathise with how you feel right now.

The main thing is to remain strong.

Laugh at your ex and tell her if she tries that stunt your going to claim back all your legal expenses off her when she loses.

I doubt if this new found boyfriend will be around much longer to be honest.

Then the bottom will drop out of her bucket.

This seem the likely scenario.. be strong.

[Confuscious]

I'm speaking from experience but under UK laws.

The kids and I didn't see my ex wife for 2 years, then she tried to get custody.

It was thrown out of Court.

I had the same experience, although not in the UK.

In 1985, my wife meet a band player and went with the band on tour.

She left her 2 children behind with me (3 and 5 years old).

I spoke to a lawyer and he advised me to ask for the divorce and the parenthood.

The divorce was not granted as she was absent.

But I got the sole parenthood as she was absent without leaving an address or other identification.

After 2 years she came back and wanted the children back.

She GOT the children back.

The reasoning of the court:

I was working from 7:30 to 17:30 every day and needed to hire a nanny to take care of the children.

My wife was "unemployed" and had the time to take care of the chidren.

That's the reason why I ask advice from members here in order to avoid such a defeat again.

[AnotherOneAmerican]

I'm speaking from experience but under UK laws.

The kids and I didn't see my ex wife for 2 years, then she tried to get custody.

It was thrown out of Court.

I had the same experience, although not in the UK.

In 1985, my wife meet a band player and went with the band on tour.

She left her 2 children behind with me (3 and 5 years old).

I spoke to a lawyer and he advised me to ask for the divorce and the parenthood.

The divorce was not granted as she was absent.

But I got the sole parenthood as she was absent without leaving an address or other identification.

After 2 years she came back and wanted the children back.

She GOT the children back.

The reasoning of the court:

I was working from 7:30 to 17:30 every day and needed to hire a nanny to take care of the children.

My wife was "unemployed" and had the time to take care of the chidren.

That's the reason why I ask advice from members here in order to avoid such a defeat again.

Sympathy from me, the west is a really screwed up place for guys.

Lucky for you, Thailand is a lot fairer, none of this renegotiation of a done deal.

[Bigfarang1948]

Get a good lawyer this time and do not try and represent yourself in court

Get your wallet out as it looks like it is time to spend your money to protect your kid

she is the kids parent also remember and peoples situations change maybe it's time to talk

All the best

I am only puzzled that you would ask legal questions on this forum. You have been burned once by a lawyer, because you chose to let him represent you and your ex. Nobody on this forum is qualified to answer your questions except for a lawyer licensed in the Kingdom

[AnotherOneAmerican]

Get a good lawyer this time and do not try and represent yourself in court

Get your wallet out as it looks like it is time to spend your money to protect your kid

she is the kids parent also remember and peoples situations change maybe it's time to talk

All the best

I am only puzzled that you would ask legal questions on this forum. You have been burned once by a lawyer, because you chose to let him represent you and your ex. Nobody on this forum is qualified to answer your questions except for a lawyer licensed in the Kingdom

You're wrong there BF,

Lawyers aren't required in many Thai situations.

As they aren't required by Thais, they won't be experienced in the situation.

Family courts are one such situation (if it ever got that far which is unlikely)

This isn't the western world.

[Confuscious]

Thank you all for your answers in this thread.

Also thanks to the people who have chosen to answer by PM.

My answers to (most) of the inputs in the thread:

1. I was in a similar situation before (in Europe) and I lost my children after being granted the sole parenthood.

When I lost my children, I was represented by an expensive lawyer who grabbed from me about 15,000 Euro.

In the same way, a THAI lawyer who was representing me at my divorce in Thailand, did more for my ex-wife than for me. I chose to handle the divorce myself and I was divorced for 40,000 baht including the SOLE parenthood of my child.

That's the reason why I asked here the opinion from TV members.

Some of the answers were very helpful.

Other answers were so obvious that I forget that they were there or overlooked them.

2. My child has always been free and I will let her always be free.

She has the phone number and the address of her mother and she has her own phone (no spying).

But she never called her mother because of reasons that don't need to be written here.

Suffice to say that her real mother has been abusing her since she was a child and that she even broke her arm in one of her "outbursts" of angryness.

Nevertheless, if my daughter chose to go to live with her mother, I will not interfere with her choice.

But the choice should be made clearly in my presence and not after being brainwashed by some Thais.

3. Everybody with children know (or should know) how easy it is to bend the childrens mind nowadays.

I have meet woman ranging from 18 years to 55 years who wanted to have sex with me if I would buy them an IPhone 6.

Promise a child that you will buy them an IPhone, an Ipad or even a Mac Notebook, and most of the children will go with you.

You can see many woman in FaceBook and meeting sites, some of them still barely a child, selling themselves for a few dimes.

This is 2015 and not the stone age.

For that reason, I will NEVER leave my child out of my view with the mother or anyone else.

4. I live here already 14 years and I have whitnessed with my own eyes what happen sometimes with children.

These things are not allowed to be discussed in this forum and I will refrain from bringing that into the discussion.

But I know what is going on and I will not allow that to happen with my child.

5. I know my ex-wife and I can predict her plans almost with 99% accuracy.

My ex-wife is getting to the age where she is not wanted as a barlady any more.

As most people in Thailand, she need to think of her "pension" in a few years.

Her "pension" is our daughter who will need to work for her and to feed her in the same way as she has taking care of her mother.

At this moment, there is absolutely NO WAY that my daughter will ever give a dime to her mother.

So she wants our daughter back now and brainwash her that she need to "take care" of her mother.

The boyfriend (=money) will pay for all the legal expenses to achieve her goal.

Again, thanks for all the answers and the PM.

[phrodan]

All due respect OP - but there's something wrong with you.

"Your child is free and always will be free," is the talk of a deluded clown.

You have one primary duty as a father and that is the safety of your child. Until she is at the age of majority she has no opinion on this matter.

The fact that you have stated that she had her arm broken by her mother before - and you still consider the idea of leaving any decision about staying with her mother to her - renders you into the following category.

You are unfit to be a father.

And god forbid she goes to her mother and gets beaten to a pulp - or as someone else on this thread rightfully alluded to - raped by the new stepfather - there will be only one person to blame.

You.

[Bakeman]

Sounds like she is returning with threats so you will pay her more money to go away.

No worries for I think you have a strong case. If she gets a lawyer then I advise you to lawyer up also. Don't try to go up against a trained lawyer.

You can also ask the lawyer on TV. He has always had straight forward and sound advice.