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The Most Annoying People on the Plane starring Sir Patrick Stewart


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Posted

whistling.gif There are more candidates:

  • The person whose carry-on luggage takes up 4 or 5 rows of bins. On one flight in the U.S. a male passenger refused to "check" his carry-on baggage although the baggage he carried on filled 5 storage bins to the brim. His reason was that "collecting his checked baggage from the baggage area" on arrival would "take to long" after he landed. I was on this flight and it's departure was delayed by 35 minutes after we all boarded by this idiot insisting he had a "right" to carry-on as much carry-on luggage as he wanted to on the flight.
  • The "I want to sleep" passenger who lowers his or her seat fully down to sleep on take off and refuses to raise it again until after he or she lands, even though it is a 6 or 7 hour flight. This makes it impossible for the passenger behind them to eat or go to the bathroom for the entire flight.
  • And the "kicker/puncher sleeper" who when they drop oft o sleep violently moves their legs and/or arms to punch and kick the passenger in the seat next to them.

I've met all of these passengers, at least once.

  • Like 1
Posted

I've never seen anybody getting on with much more than the limit for hand carry. Maybe a bit too large bag. Or a purse that surprisingly looks like a large backpack. But nothing more than that. They will gate check the items if they are too large or you have too many. No choice. They've been pretty strict about this for years.

Posted

whistling.gif There are more candidates:

  • The person whose carry-on luggage takes up 4 or 5 rows of bins. On one flight in the U.S. a male passenger refused to "check" his carry-on baggage although the baggage he carried on filled 5 storage bins to the brim. His reason was that "collecting his checked baggage from the baggage area" on arrival would "take to long" after he landed. I was on this flight and it's departure was delayed by 35 minutes after we all boarded by this idiot insisting he had a "right" to carry-on as much carry-on luggage as he wanted to on the flight.
  • The "I want to sleep" passenger who lowers his or her seat fully down to sleep on take off and refuses to raise it again until after he or she lands, even though it is a 6 or 7 hour flight. This makes it impossible for the passenger behind them to eat or go to the bathroom for the entire flight.
  • And the "kicker/puncher sleeper" who when they drop oft o sleep violently moves their legs and/or arms to punch and kick the passenger in the seat next to them.

I've met all of these passengers, at least once.

A few tips I used to seek my revenge on the toss****

1) - Make sure you go to the Toilet every hour and swing on the seat in front of you to get up. That normally piss*** them off.

2) - Change the channel on your tv screen by jabbing the touch screen. Not to hard but just to desturb them

3) - Make sure you keep the reading light on

4) - When being served with food make sure you ask the Stewardess to tell them to put up there seat. This works best when they are asleep

As a regular traveller to LOS, 5 times a year. These tips normally allow me to have my revenge on the idiot who puts there seat back on me

  • Like 2
Posted (edited)

Sorry , but a story about my last flight.

I was seated next to the worst passenger i have ever experienced a few months ago . Unfortunately the plane was a full flight and so i couldn't change seats . When i got to my seat i had to clear all the blankets, pillows and everything else he had dumped on my seat. Then i sat down and said hello , how you going as i usually do and that is when his Halitosis hit me like a punch in the face . Then the fact he had not cleaned his arse for what smelt like months struck me. It would not be a bum gun but a high pressure gun to do the cleaning job for this guy. At first i thought he had farted or emptied his bowels out of fear of flying but the smell didn't give up for 8 hours. I was dry retching for several periods though out the flight , and we hadn't even taken off.at that point. It was so bad that i could not eat any dinner or drink anything but water . Shit flavoured apple juice is something i try to avoid. And in the morning i was starving but he kindly coughed all over my breakfast tray just after it was placed down and uncovered. That was it for my eating on this flight .

Now I am a big boy - tall and wide and i always choose a aisle seat for a bit of space and it makes it easier to get up as i don't walk so well as i have had a few injuries over the years making getting up especially with the seat in front lent back as far as possible quite a chore , plus take the headphones off, pause the movie routine, i am sure everybody can relate to this , but having this chappie wanting to get pass me every 30 minutes (plus the reverse procedure) so he could walk around the plane meant i didn't get a lot of sleep and that makes me irritable. Very irritable .He also liked poking with his elbow me in the ribs and touching me on the leg while he was tossing and turning trying to get himself comfortable. Okay i am big but poking a bear in a cage with a stick is not an intelligent thing to do. Obviously trying to see what my breaking point was. i just shut up and didn't say a thing. I kept on visualising that scene in the Tom Hardy film Bronson when he smears himself with excreta so the guards had to wrestle with him covered in sh_t .

Then every time the flight attendants were with-in four seats from us he would have his outstretched hand between my face and the screen waiting for the attendants to give him attention. He wasn't going to miss out on anything he could get. They actually snapped at him a couple of times and told him to wait his turn.

Then to top it all off after he being extremely lucky i did not react to any of his provocations he reported me to the Flight attendants and I overheard him telling passengers on the other side of him that i was a "Problem". F---- me dead i thought i did extremely well not to choke the stinky, provocative , putrid little c__t back into the stone-age. I can see the funny side to it now but in 40 odd years of flying i have never experienced anything like him nor do i want to again.

Edited by xen
  • Like 2
Posted

Good gosh. Sure sounds like the worst flight ever! Not sure I would have lasted more than 5 minutes near him. No extra seats on the plane???

Wow....terrible story....

  • Like 1
Posted

Good gosh. Sure sounds like the worst flight ever! Not sure I would have lasted more than 5 minutes near him. No extra seats on the plane???

Wow....terrible story....

If you think that was bad, you should hear my story.

On a flight a couple of years ago there was something happening at the front entrance to the plane and 'they' made me board with all the economy passengers, which meant I had to line up with all sorts of odd looking individuals, some of which I am sure should have been loaded into the cargo section of the aircraft in cages. I then had to work my way through business class before I made it to the civilised part of the aircraft.

I was most annoyed with myself for taking that extra long massage in the first class lounge instead of boarding when called. I won't do that again.

The rest of the flight was reasonable, although I recall they also didn't have my favourite cheese, which was a little upsetting. Hopefully I will never have to endure that sort of thing ever again.

  • Like 2
Posted

Don't you hate it when the plane is nearly full, the seat next to you is still empty and some 400lb beast woman is walking down the aisle towards you...no...no...no...please...no

I mean, I fly over 120 times per year. The amount of times I have had a hot girl sit next to me is probably 2 or 3 times. Does it say on my online profile "likes ugly chicks?"

Or the guy that's in seat 65B and he stores his masses or carry on in seat 31B as he enters the plane and you have no overhead bin room left.

Or the guy that's elbowing you "ecuse me...ecuse me" as everyone is standing waiting to get of the plane. Where you gonna go pinhead? Just wait.

And why do I get incontinent people sit next to me so often. Adult diapers people. Please consider.

Air Asia flight to Shenzen. God give me the strength to not go apeshit on this plane full of mainland Chinese people.

Mainland Chinese people. Period.

That person who can't read a number on a boarding pass, goes all the way to end, only be told they are in seat 32A. Did you not go to school?

Guys who use their laptops on a 12-hour flight next to you. Tippity, tap, tipperty, tap...watch a movie already.

That guy that takes 5 minutes to store his hand luggage, get his book, his glasses, newspaper and hold the entire queue up. Sit the f&*% down.

...ok, I feel better now.

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