cjnst2 Posted August 19, 2006 Share Posted August 19, 2006 ...making a mistake. It's not that simple though. Here is my situation. I'm friends with girl who works at one of the nearby bars. I'm not really sexually active with her but I see her almost every day. The bar is close to my apartment and I go there for a couple of drinks before bed. The other day I had been drinking a little more than usual and the bar girl had mentioned that she was going home on Sunday to see her family. She then invited me to come and see her family. In my slightly tipsy state and the fact that I haven't seen much of Thailand yet...... I thought ....."OK. Why not take a week to see the countryside." After reading up on this though it seems that meeting a girl's parents is almost one step away from marriage. Plus my Thai is very basic at this point and I would hate to offend her family by accident if I did go. The bottom line is this......I don't think it would be a good idea for me to meet my friend's parents. It may and I may have already sent mixed signals to my Thai friend by telling her I would meet her parents. I'm looking for a polite way to let her off easy and let her know that although I would be honored to meet her family and that I think shes a very wonderful person, I don't think it's good idea at this point in time. ....or something of that nature. Any suggestions? Oh yeah...Just to clarify and complicate the problem a bit more. I've only slept with her once and it happened to be on the night of this talk. The talk happened before though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Donz Posted August 19, 2006 Share Posted August 19, 2006 hmmmmmm tough one, maybe just say you cant you have to meet a friend at the airport on a certain date and you have to show him around or something. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Charma Posted August 19, 2006 Share Posted August 19, 2006 Difficult one, but I think any excuse such as Donz suggested may only put off the problem for a while. Bite the bullet and try your own line: a polite way to let her off easy and let her know that although I would be honored to meet her family and that I think shes a very wonderful person, I don't think it's good idea at this point in time. ....or something of that nature. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kerryk Posted August 19, 2006 Share Posted August 19, 2006 Almost the same thing happened to me. I agreed to go to a friends wedding up country on one of those nights that I had had a little too much to drink and the lady spent the night. I took the distributor cap off of my car. My plan was to plead car trouble the next morning. We got in the car the next morning, I cranked up the engine and the darn thing arched over and started. I had not put it far enough away from the distributor. I have never figured out a good way to weasel out of bedroom promises. I have tried putting a teaspoon of hydrogen peroxide in my mouth with a little water. It foams up really good and looks like you have rabies. Then run out and say you are going to the doctor. If you know any cops you can pay one to arrest you while she is there and then go and have a beer with the cop. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heng Posted August 19, 2006 Share Posted August 19, 2006 (edited) . Edited August 19, 2006 by Heng Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heng Posted August 19, 2006 Share Posted August 19, 2006 Tell her to tell the folks that you can't travel until your herpes flareup dies down. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Donz Posted August 19, 2006 Share Posted August 19, 2006 Almost the same thing happened to me. I agreed to go to a friends wedding up country on one of those nights that I had had a little too much to drink and the lady spent the night. I took the distributor cap off of my car. My plan was to plead car trouble the next morning. We got in the car the next morning, I cranked up the engine and the darn thing arched over and started. I had not put it far enough away from the distributor. I have never figured out a good way to weasel out of bedroom promises. I have tried putting a teaspoon of hydrogen peroxide in my mouth with a little water. It foams up really good and looks like you have rabies. Then run out and say you are going to the doctor. If you know any cops you can pay one to arrest you while she is there and then go and have a beer with the cop. Thats worse then mine, but funny Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jockstar Posted August 19, 2006 Share Posted August 19, 2006 Just tell her that you cant go. But maybe in the future. If you want to get to know the girl better then tell her you want to take things slowly. If you see no future with her. Then just say no.Easy! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thohts Posted August 19, 2006 Share Posted August 19, 2006 Fate is on your side! Tell her you're not sure if you're ready to meet her parents. Then, tell her that you'll leave it up to fate to decide by flipping a coin. Call it while it's in the air. Then, whichever way it lands pretend that it's the way that says you shouldn't go. She will understand, because it's destiny. Is this a really stupid idea? Sure! But it works with the program. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GuestHouse Posted August 19, 2006 Share Posted August 19, 2006 It might very well be that she only wants you to provide trasport, either driving or paying or the trip - You'd certainly be called upon to do a bit of shopping either directly before or during the journey - gifts for family etc. I'd keep that in mind, when going for the get out.... Maybe a small donation to the trip expenses. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Donz Posted August 19, 2006 Share Posted August 19, 2006 Actually, buy her parents a small gift (as she is your friend) and give it to her to take and say that sorry you cant go because of blah blah blah make something up Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tippaporn Posted August 19, 2006 Share Posted August 19, 2006 Go and have a good time. Why not? It's up to you to go along with only that which you want to go along with. And you can do that without needing to mislead anyone. Shouldn't be a problem. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
khunlungphudhu Posted August 19, 2006 Share Posted August 19, 2006 If you are really desperate........... Say you have a sick buffallo in the family! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Donz Posted August 19, 2006 Share Posted August 19, 2006 Just tell her you rather stay home and get pissed then see her family. but thats the harsh way and she probaly wont talk to you again, If your bored just go and think about it later how you will get out of the long term thing. Or listen to jockstar. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
baboon Posted August 19, 2006 Share Posted August 19, 2006 If you fancy going for the trip then go. However LAY IT ON THE LINE FIRST that this is to be a social visit only and for this woman not to start getting any ideas. Tomorrow, LAY IT ON THE LINE AGAIN and I mean keep RAMMING the message home. See what she does. If she agrees to your conditions you should be O.K, but be prepared to part with some cash. If she starts to become distant, then it was all a set up so think no more about it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Donz Posted August 19, 2006 Share Posted August 19, 2006 yeah listen to baboon, its to be expected you pay for a few things like food etc as your visiting someones parents, but i would stay away, prob not worth the hassel, but i dont know how close of friends you are so who knows aye Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DragonLad Posted August 19, 2006 Share Posted August 19, 2006 What's he scared of?? Someone nice trying to be nice to him? And he think's he might get married!!! This is funny it really is. I was in Thailand for songkran, a few years ago and I had invitations from both male and female Thai people to go meet their family. This is how the thai people are and espacially with foreign people. I had more fun trying to understand thai people speak english, If you have nerve GO!!! If she is your friend no problems. Experience a different culture and then you will be a better person. This is what is wrong with the world, As soon as that door is open to see how another people live their lives we need to slam it shut!!!! It's up to you of course but I would go. Experience Thailand and see how you feel afterward, Plus you do say she is a friend of yours. Correct?? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chownah Posted August 19, 2006 Share Posted August 19, 2006 You could solve your problem by modulating your drinking more....either drink more so that you can not speak legibly and get yourself into these situations or drink less so that you can think clearly and not get yourself into these situations. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
meom Posted August 19, 2006 Share Posted August 19, 2006 Experience a different culture and then you will be a better person. That's why he slept with her I guess Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rhys Posted August 19, 2006 Share Posted August 19, 2006 You stepped in it.. step out.. either way.. it is a no brainer.. you lost either way.. Experience.. She will never.. never.. never.. understand your point of view.. and you are in her backyard.. Nothing noble you can do.. even if you do the Thai thing.. and ignore it.. do the mai ben rai gambit... STINK EYE will be present.. Go for the location solution.. move...but she will hunt you down.. Party on.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kurgen Posted August 19, 2006 Share Posted August 19, 2006 If you want to clarify the situation, why not ask if you can bring your latest girlfriend Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
baboon Posted August 19, 2006 Share Posted August 19, 2006 You stepped in it.. step out.. either way.. it is a no brainer.. you lost either way..Experience.. She will never.. never.. never.. understand your point of view.. and you are in her backyard.. Nothing noble you can do.. even if you do the Thai thing.. and ignore it.. do the mai ben rai gambit... STINK EYE will be present.. Go for the location solution.. move...but she will hunt you down.. Party on.. Rhys, I feel you are overstating the problem somewhat, but sadly have to agree with your assesment that "She will never...never....never understand your point of veiw." Unfortunately on BOTH sides of the spectrum it can be a case of not CANNOT but WILL NOT. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tourleadersi Posted August 19, 2006 Share Posted August 19, 2006 You could solve your problem by modulating your drinking more....either drink more so that you can not speak legibly and get yourself into these situations or drink less so that you can think clearly and not get yourself into these situations. Words of true wisdom! I used to go for the moderation thing until I found out that excess was so much more fun. Sadly the guy at Foodland in charge of making those impressive can and boxed food displays disagrees! I know go through the place like a human bowling ball.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest endure Posted August 19, 2006 Share Posted August 19, 2006 If you want to clarify the situation, why not ask if you can bring your latest girlfriend and her husband Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
alexth Posted August 19, 2006 Share Posted August 19, 2006 Just tell her that you're sorry you won't be able to make it and that you'll be sponsoring her trip, she'll love you for that, believe me Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jeff1 Posted August 19, 2006 Share Posted August 19, 2006 I say go ! Have fun . Explore thailand . Just because you go to her parents house does not mean your getting married . If you really do not want to go then say , Sure I would love to meet your mother, I love older women . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
greenwood Posted August 20, 2006 Share Posted August 20, 2006 Almost the same thing happened to me. I agreed to go to a friends wedding up country on one of those nights that I had had a little too much to drink and the lady spent the night. I took the distributor cap off of my car. My plan was to plead car trouble the next morning. We got in the car the next morning, I cranked up the engine and the darn thing arched over and started. I had not put it far enough away from the distributor. I have never figured out a good way to weasel out of bedroom promises. I have tried putting a teaspoon of hydrogen peroxide in my mouth with a little water. It foams up really good and looks like you have rabies. Then run out and say you are going to the doctor. If you know any cops you can pay one to arrest you while she is there and then go and have a beer with the cop. KerryK, dont worry about the distributor cap, just take out the coil lead and hide it somewhere, the car will not start and will go nowhere without it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
keda Posted August 20, 2006 Share Posted August 20, 2006 If you fancy going for the trip then go. However LAY IT ON THE LINE FIRST that this is to be a social visit only and for this woman not to start getting any ideas. Tomorrow, LAY IT ON THE LINE AGAIN and I mean keep RAMMING the message home. See what she does. If she agrees to your conditions you should be O.K, but be prepared to part with some cash. If she starts to become distant, then it was all a set up so think no more about it. Hmm, I think you could staple it to her forehead, but if it suits her (and thus her family) to read more into your agreeing to accompany her, then that's what'll happen. keda Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
macb Posted August 20, 2006 Share Posted August 20, 2006 If you fancy going for the trip then go. However LAY IT ON THE LINE FIRST that this is to be a social visit only and for this woman not to start getting any ideas. Tomorrow, LAY IT ON THE LINE AGAIN and I mean keep RAMMING the message home. See what she does. If she agrees to your conditions you should be O.K, but be prepared to part with some cash. If she starts to become distant, then it was all a set up so think no more about it. [Tend to agree with Baboon. you hold the reins you control the situation tell her you go as friends not husband and wife its to eraly for you to be in a relationship explain to her, she may think because you sleep with her you are ready to be her partner, if you get to village and they start tieing white string around both your wrists that means they are blessing and welcoming you as her partner but also is a good luck thing.] macb Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cent Posted August 20, 2006 Share Posted August 20, 2006 (edited) ...making a mistake. It's not that simple though. Here is my situation.I'm friends with girl who works at one of the nearby bars. I'm not really sexually active with her but I see her almost every day. The bar is close to my apartment and I go there for a couple of drinks before bed. The other day I had been drinking a little more than usual and the bar girl had mentioned that she was going home on Sunday to see her family. She then invited me to come and see her family. In my slightly tipsy state and the fact that I haven't seen much of Thailand yet...... I thought ....."OK. Why not take a week to see the countryside." After reading up on this though it seems that meeting a girl's parents is almost one step away from marriage. Plus my Thai is very basic at this point and I would hate to offend her family by accident if I did go. The bottom line is this......I don't think it would be a good idea for me to meet my friend's parents. It may and I may have already sent mixed signals to my Thai friend by telling her I would meet her parents. I'm looking for a polite way to let her off easy and let her know that although I would be honored to meet her family and that I think shes a very wonderful person, I don't think it's good idea at this point in time. ....or something of that nature. Any suggestions? Oh yeah...Just to clarify and complicate the problem a bit more. I've only slept with her once and it happened to be on the night of this talk. The talk happened before though. cjnst2, Just tell her you were drunk when you said you'd go, and tell her you can't go. She works at a bar. She'll understand. And, if she is truly your friend, rather than just an acquaintance you see at the bar when you are drinking, she'll forgive you your drunken promise and remain your friend. If you really do want to experience the upcountry life for a week maybe set up a future week away with her to her village/home area. You stay in a local hotel. She can sleep in her parents home. Unless of course you are trying to be more than just a 'friend' to her. :-) Then bring the sin sot money and gold and have the local Buddhist wedding! :-O The thing is SHE should be the one worrying about how your coming to her village home and meeting her parents will be perceived by the neighbors and family. Not you. If she is inviting you along obviously she has no problems with this and foresees none. Don't worry so much about this. Just enjoy it if you do go, and have a nice experience. I would be careful though as to what you may be 'expected' to pay/finance on this trip abroad in the Isaan. A box of Leo or Chang beers for a family party would be sufficient, and maybe some food one night. Since she is your friend why not just explain to her your questions about this stuff? It wouldn't hurt, surely. Cent Edited August 20, 2006 by Cent Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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