Are you becoming a Reclusive, Aging, Hermit Expat?

[redandyellow]

I notice that a lot of expats pack up and leave Thailand after X amount of time, fed up with any number of Thai-related issues, be it alleged corruption, etc..

Other expats hang in, have no choice, because they have no bolt-hole back home, be it England, or wherever.

Many of this latter group, including a friend on Phuket, have become disillusioned, but cannot leave. His Thai wife is unwell, she has business interests, and the house is in her name, so he is a very good boy indeed. No more clandestine visits to the Siam Hotel..

He has become increasingly reclusive, like a Hermit. He doesn't even go to the gym anymore, preferring to exercise at home.

He knows being an increasingly reclusive expat in Thailand, being a hermit isn't good, but there it is. He's 68.

Many other aging expats are all on their own, stay alone, and need help.

Here are a few agencies for at-risk expats, reclusive or otherwise, and a couple of random others, for tourists, or whoever..

Benevolent agencies

The Issarachon Foundation - A Thai non-government group that works with homeless and displaced locals and foreigners in Thailand.

www.lannacarenet.org - This organization helps aging foreigners live safe and healthy lives in Chiang Mai and surrounding areas. They provide advice and practical assistance where necessary.

beachsafety.nphuket.com- A website that gives safety tips regarding rip-tides, and beach safety in Thailand.

Kusoldharm Foundation - A commendable Phuket Emergency Rescue Service.

Heathrow Travel care ( heathrowtravelcare.co.uk ) - An airport crisis social work team based in Terminal 3. They offer advice and assistance to a wide variety of distressed and vulnerable people at Heathrow airport ( London ), including destitute and troubled foreigners returning home from an extended stay in Thailand.

Destiny Rescue ( www.destinyrescue.org ) - A non-profit organization that aims to rescue enslaved children, restore the abused, protect the vulnerable, empower the poor and be a voice for the voiceless. It operates in Thailand, Cambodia, Myanmar, Laos and India.

[AYJAYDEE]

if you have enough money to be self sufficient, there is nothing wrong with being a solitary expat if that is wahat you choose to be.

[Rangsitreppin]

better be a hermit in los than boring old england.

[pgrahmm]

Good info on the post....Suspect there are more than a few drinking on silent futility instead of getting out and enjoying the things to see in life.....some bring their bitterness with them and can't understand why it's not better here....sadly

For me at 67 I'm more busy than not....have an enthusiatic vibrant upbeat family around me .... much better in my eyes than vegging out.....Most in our area are the same...depends on outlook, habits, and spirit....

[bannork]

Veg in, don't veg out. Marry a woman with some land, farming, even if only small scale, gardening or farming can bring a lot of satisfaction as well as a pleasant place to pass the time. If you have water and electricity many things can be done on a few rai.

[Crazy chef 1]

not even close to 60 or even 50 but i am the prime example of an hermit- i like to be just with my family and myself.not too many people around i would like to socialize with(where i live)...

[i claudius]

I must admit that i only socialize with other expats once a week or so if we meet up for a drink ,but reclous ,no way ,my wife and i seem to like each others company so we go out loads ,for drives ,shopping ect , she goes to exercise with the other ladies most mornings (i gave up ,no couldnt keep up ) gives me a chance to read the D-------m-------online and come on here.

[SoiBiker]

So your only options are leave or stay here even though you hate it?

What about those of us who stay because we like it?

[georgegeorgia]

On a recent trip to Pattaya I stayed in a Thai girlfriends condo building.

It was a old style cheap building with many old farang.

They used to leave their doors open probaly because they had no A/C and as i walked past everyday u could see them lying topless on their beds all day without venturing out of their small rooms.seemed such a sadvlonely life.

[Costas2008]

not even close to 60 or even 50 but i am the prime example of an hermit- i like to be just with my family and myself.not too many people around i would like to socialize with(where i live)...

Ahhhhh......now I know why you are posting on TVF

[Crazy chef 1]

not even close to 60 or even 50 but i am the prime example of an hermit- i like to be just with my family and myself.not too many people around i would like to socialize with(where i live)...

Ahhhhh......now I know why you are posting on TVF

to share and discuss our enlightened few about the world with uncle Costas and some other nice pals...and bash the others...

[Crazy chef 1]

So your only options are leave or stay here even though you hate it?

What about those of us who stay because we like it?

dam'n another comment from Bikey i agree with...

[Costas2008]

On a recent trip to Pattaya I stayed in a Thai girlfriends condo building.

It was a old style cheap building with many old farang.

They used to leave their doors open probaly because they had no A/C and as i walked past everyday u could see them lying topless on their beds all day without venturing out of their small rooms.seemed such a sadvlonely life.

Topless???

Did you get any pictures, by any chance, to share with us?

[Crazy chef 1]

On a recent trip to Pattaya I stayed in a Thai girlfriends condo building.

It was a old style cheap building with many old farang.

They used to leave their doors open probaly because they had no A/C and as i walked past everyday u could see them lying topless on their beds all day without venturing out of their small rooms.seemed such a sadvlonely life.

Topless???

Did you get any pictures, by any chance, to share with us?

Costas you should use your glasses...he wrote about the aging gents not the pretty young gals...

[SoiBiker]

On a recent trip to Pattaya I stayed in a Thai girlfriends condo building.

It was a old style cheap building with many old farang.

They used to leave their doors open probaly because they had no A/C and as i walked past everyday u could see them lying topless on their beds all day without venturing out of their small rooms.seemed such a sadvlonely life.

Topless???

Did you get any pictures, by any chance, to share with us?

Costas you should use your glasses...he wrote about the aging gents not the pretty young gals...

Maybe that's what floats his boat? It takes all sorts, no need to judge...

[Crazy chef 1]

On a recent trip to Pattaya I stayed in a Thai girlfriends condo building.

It was a old style cheap building with many old farang.

They used to leave their doors open probaly because they had no A/C and as i walked past everyday u could see them lying topless on their beds all day without venturing out of their small rooms.seemed such a sadvlonely life.

Topless???

Did you get any pictures, by any chance, to share with us?

Costas you should use your glasses...he wrote about the aging gents not the pretty young gals...

Maybe that's what floats his boat? It takes all sorts, no need to judge...

rather those ones...

[uptheos]

better be a hermit in los than boring old england.

The only people who are bored in England are those who can't afford to be there.

Chang is expensive and a major factor for some.

[geronimo]

I very much like my own company.

[bannork]

better be a hermit in los than boring old england.

Rangsit making more sense again. The old folks near me sit outside and watch the world goes by, eyeing your shopping bags,noting the time, nothing escapes their eyes.Life is a free reality show. Unfortunately in the UK the weather precludes that 90% of the time. Old folks are forced to stay indoors, stare at the walls or the idiot box.

[rabid old goat]

there are numerous sitting waiting street ladies within a short walk any night of the week. occasionally some that even look in the dark to be young and beautiful. very few customers are even looking, me included. they've burnt their bridges long ago in my book and in most others too it seems.

[StreetCowboy]

On a recent trip to Pattaya I stayed in a Thai girlfriends condo building.

It was a old style cheap building with many old farang.

They used to leave their doors open probaly because they had no A/C and as i walked past everyday u could see them lying topless on their beds all day without venturing out of their small rooms.seemed such a sadvlonely life.

Topless???

Did you get any pictures, by any chance, to share with us?

Costas you should use your glasses...he wrote about the aging gents not the pretty young gals...

Maybe that's what floats his boat? It takes all sorts, no need to judge...

It's too easy to imagine others' livesthrough our own eyes. Perhaps we should try imagining the world through other people's glasses - ones without Tiger written across the bottom, perhaps, for some of us.

I think the OP was not saying that everyone is in the predicament he described, and I very much doubt that anyone that was would reply to this thread/

I can imagine that there;s plenty of chaps here who are alone and reclusive through a combination of poverty and loss - perhaps widowers or cuckolds who cannot afford the debauchery that they once could, and have no great interest in sweating round temples or markets in the heat of the mid-day sun. In my experience, bordeom afflicts the senses, starting with the imagination, and then motivation.

Thanks to the OP for posting information that may be of help to those in this predicament; and for those of us that know someone in that boat, perhaps a friendly hello might not go amiss

SC

[elgordo38]

I very much like my own company.

Me to. The only exception is my young Thai g/f. She is a real jewel. I will be 77 this year and its sneaking up on me. 68 is way to young for this. I am starting to make plans for when the grim reaper comes. Wills, cremation, living will, making sure my g/f has enough money to move on with. After living in Thai society for a number of years and watch the interaction with young Thai girls mostly (young Thai males are lazy and would rather buy a new vehicle than to send a baht to the parents and in fact ask parents for money) I envy their parents for the love they receive from their female protegy. All I hear from "my girls" are that they would be angry if I did not leave them something and they both need nothing.

[geronimo]

I very much like my own company.

Me to. The only exception is my young Thai g/f. She is a real jewel. I will be 77 this year and its sneaking up on me. 68 is way to young for this. I am starting to make plans for when the grim reaper comes. Wills, cremation, living will, making sure my g/f has enough money to move on with. After living in Thai society for a number of years and watch the interaction with young Thai girls mostly (young Thai males are lazy and would rather buy a new vehicle than to send a baht to the parents and in fact ask parents for money) I envy their parents for the love they receive from their female protegy. All I hear from "my girls" are that they would be angry if I did not leave them something and they both need nothing.

One thing's for sure, you can't take material wealth with you. I personally think the owner of said wealth has the right to leave it to whoever (or whatever) he or she chooses. I'm not too far behind you in terms of age and I understand what death is and came to terms with it long ago.

Enjoy all the moments as they pass by

[canuckamuck]

I have friends come by about 3 or 4 times a year, so I still have a busy social calendar. But to be honest I could use some more time to myself.

[Suradit69]

if you have enough money to be self sufficient, there is nothing wrong with being a solitary expat if that is wahat you choose to be.

Yes. I go out less than I once did, but not because of money problems or Thai issues. Not exactly 'solitary," but no need to be constantly surrounded by other people.

Other expats hang in, have no choice, because they have no bolt-hole back home, be it England, or wherever.

And other expats remain here by choice and are quite happily occupied without spending every day at the beach and every night drunk.

[BuaBS]

I'm already reclusive in my early 50's. Why go out , it's too hot. I've got the hole world in front of me on my computer . (well the world minus the blocked sites ! ).

[Emster23]

Every time I leave my condo I know for a fact I am risking death and/or dishonor. Helps one live "in the now".

[SoiBiker]

Every time I leave my condo I know for a fact I am risking death and/or dishonor. Helps one live "in the now".

The joy of the internet means you can bring shame upon yourself without even having to leave the comfort of your home.

[attrayant]

Re: The OP, I wouldn't exactly call 68 spry. Also many of us are introverted and love the quiet times we can get, if any. I've got a few dozen books waiting for me on my kindle, and not sure when I'll be able to get to them. I need more solitude, not less.

At some point, depending on one's health we all begin to get more risk-averse. I used to like ice skating. Now when I look at a rink, all I see is sore ankles and a possible broken hip. And I'm only 50.

[pacceka]

Hey, some like it hot. Chilling by oneself is also cool. Everyone gets to do what they want. My choice will always be different to yours.