Living in Pattaya: The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly?

[mduras01]

What's your experience been like over in Pattaya? Was considering a move but checked it out and wrote this article about it. Feel free to rebut me, and I'm sure many will, but I'm curious on your take of life in Pattaya. What's life like for those UNDER 40.

[ricacrocre]

I arrived 11 years ago at age 31 and have been in central Pattaya ever since. The positive aspect of arriving at that age is that you get a lot of attention and get propositioned and offered for some things for at no cost that others would have to pay for (use your imagination).

The bad is that I’m not a drinker so being in bars every night had and still has little appeal. So what else is there to do? Internet wasn’t what it is today so finding activities meant looking the newspaper or joining the 2 English expat clubs for ideas. I did some expat club outings but every single person in the clubs are near the age of my parents. I became friendly with some expats but they were always 20-40 years older than me. Not really a problem but I still wished to meet people closer to my age.

A few years ago, I joined a sports team which finally brought me closer to guys my age but despite my attempts to form closer friendships, once the game was over, we all went our separate ways for a much needed shower and sleep. The ED visa is the way to go although the schools are making the students jump through more and more hoops. Any questions?

[mduras01]

I arrived 11 years ago at age 31 and have been in central Pattaya ever since. The positive aspect of arriving at that age is that you get a lot of attention and get propositioned and offered for some things for at no cost that others would have to pay for (use your imagination).

The bad is that I’m not a drinker so being in bars every night had and still has little appeal. So what else is there to do? Internet wasn’t what it is today so finding activities meant looking the newspaper or joining the 2 English expat clubs for ideas. I did some expat club outings but every single person in the clubs are near the age of my parents. I became friendly with some expats but they were always 20-40 years older than me. Not really a problem but I still wished to meet people closer to my age.

A few years ago, I joined a sports team which finally brought me closer to guys my age but despite my attempts to form closer friendships, once the game was over, we all went our separate ways for a much needed shower and sleep. The ED visa is the way to go although the schools are making the students jump through more and more hoops. Any questions?

What are some good hangout spots for socializing? Are these mostly beer bars or is there an "intellectual" or college district? Thanks for the info!

[petercool]

I was regularly here down from Bangkok when I was under 40 but that was 30 years ago at least when things were very different.

[mcfish]

The bad is that I’m not a drinker so being in bars every night had and still has little appeal. So what else is there to do?

So what do you do? I spent a few years not drinking in Bangkok and gave up because I got so bored

[i claudius]

I came here first in my 40s ,then Bangkok for buisness ,most of my time was spent in bars and with clients, now i live in Pattaya for the last 10 years with my wife and son (we lived in the UK for many years) i would not have lived here when i was younger as there is only the bars and poorly paid work like teaching ,now its a great place ,we live outside in a nice home our son is in uni and we have all the amenaties at our disposal ,now if they would only just ban bloody Sonkran.

[DMC1]

I moved here permanently when I was 27, I am now 40. I first started coming here when I was 19 in '93-94. I have always had a work permit as I work in the oil & gas industry for a company based in BKK but my house is in Pattaya.

I also do not drink much at all and the nightlife on the tourist side gets old very quickly. In fact it got old when I was still visiting here between the ages of 19-27. I just have a normal life when I am not working like you would anywhere else.

If you are not coming here to work then maybe it is not such a good idea to move here when you are too young if all you can think to occupy yourself is going out and getting drunk. Fine if you are visiting on holiday but I have had many older friends retire here too young & get into serious bad health problems from the booze.

[MrWorldwide]

...

What are some good hangout spots for socializing? Are these mostly beer bars or is there an "intellectual" or college district? Thanks for the info!

There is a university in Chonburi and you may find the odd Farang who is on your wavelength, but in the main this is just a provincial Thai town with a sex industry based on the ready availability of poorly educated Thais from the Northeast : hardly what your looking for. Central Bangkok sounds a lot closer to what you're after.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Asian_University

[whitemouse]

It can get crushingly boring here very quickly.

To me it felt like living retired mans life, and I was retired, except around 30. That was around 2003. There are almost no people your age here, especially then. Now with Russians in Pattaya, that has changed little bit, but unless you speak Russian, that makes no difference.

Be prepared to live retired mans life, you will fill your days just like a pensioner. You go to the beach, read a book, listen to iPod. It feels like never ending 2 week vacation. I also did not drink, and did not move here for entertainment that Pattaya offers. I had almost no interest in that, I never been inside of major night club here. I do coffee shops, several times a day.

So after you have gone into this routine of beach, then waiting sun go down, and walk on Beach rd, stop at Starbucks for an hour, see every movie in a theatre, that you normally would never watch. But because you need to fill your day with something, you watch everything in theatres.

Of course you go to Bangkok almost every week for few nights. After some time you know the sois of Siam Sq and Sukhumvit better than locals. Then that becomes not fulfilling at all. But you do it anyways, cos you need to fill your day. Retirement is blessing maybe, if you have worked all your life, and can now take it easy. I have not worked much at all, and after living in Toronto, and Europe where I had friends, many friends, this here is very different. Moving to Pattaya felt like moving to retirement home. But you are 30. Everybody around you is age of your dad, and older. After 6 months I started feeling old. I stopped making eye contact with other foreigners, because nobody does it here. It can get depressing. You can get depressed.

Thais will never see you as their own. First year or so you may think this may just take time. No. The longer you stay here, the more you see how you perceived by locals. People will tell you in web forums, that learning Thai may change that. No. You will remain a foreigner, a stranger at best, a mark at worst.

Then you start flying to Singapore, cos you need to do something. After chaos and not so orderly Thailand, Singapore seems to offer alternative, cos it i such sharp contrast. After 2 trips you give up, cos how mind numbingly boring Singapore is. There is nothing there.

Then you realize you can not live your life that way, your life is set to pause button. You are not being alive. You get used to it tho. We adopt. Only going back home, to Europe did I realize I vegetated theses 2 years that I staid.

The main issue is probably not having no roots here, no childhood friends. You very likely won't be making new friends here. It is very very difficult to meet people here, no matter what age. For one thing, there are no people your age, but that is not really issue for me, I don't see age as a thing. What I find here is that people are not looking to make friends here, it's like we are loners here. Of course with age we are careful who we meet, who we let cose. The older we are, the higher the walls we have built.

It may be important what kind of life you had, before moving here. I was very active in Toronto, had business, many friends. As European, I was a fish in the water in Canada and US. Not so in Thailand.

So after maybe a year, you give up. After being here 2 years straight, I couldn't take it. I now stay every winter, purely for weather, and how cheap it is still here. But I'd lose my mind, if I had to stay here again permanently.

[ricacrocre]

A bicycle and an Ipod have given me hours of joy every day.

[PattayaPhom]

Amazes me people say there is nothing to do except bars...well, just what did you do in your Fatherland???....There is the same here T.V cinemas, sports clubs, sports grounds, go karting, fishing, sailing, horse riding. paragliding etc etc etc...far more activities at affordable prices that what you had back home.

[VBF]

It can get crushingly boring here very quickly.

To me it felt like living retired mans life, and I was retired, except around 30. That was around 2003. There are almost no people your age here, especially then. Now with Russians in Pattaya, that has changed little bit, but unless you speak Russian, that makes no difference.

Be prepared to live retired mans life, you will fill your days just like a pensioner. You go to the beach, read a book, listen to iPod. It feels like never ending 2 week vacation. I also did not drink, and did not move here for entertainment that Pattaya offers. I had almost no interest in that, I never been inside of major night club here. I do coffee shops, several times a day.

So after you have gone into this routine of beach, then waiting sun go down, and walk on Beach rd, stop at Starbucks for an hour, see every movie in a theatre, that you normally would never watch. But because you need to fill your day with something, you watch everything in theatres.

Of course you go to Bangkok almost every week for few nights. After some time you know the sois of Siam Sq and Sukhumvit better than locals. Then that becomes not fulfilling at all. But you do it anyways, cos you need to fill your day. Retirement is blessing maybe, if you have worked all your life, and can now take it easy. I have not worked much at all, and after living in Toronto, and Europe where I had friends, many friends, this here is very different. Moving to Pattaya felt like moving to retirement home. But you are 30. Everybody around you is age of your dad, and older. After 6 months I started feeling old. I stopped making eye contact with other foreigners, because nobody does it here. It can get depressing. You can get depressed.

Thais will never see you as their own. First year or so you may think this may just take time. No. The longer you stay here, the more you see how you perceived by locals. People will tell you in web forums, that learning Thai may change that. No. You will remain a foreigner, a stranger at best, a mark at worst.

Then you start flying to Singapore, cos you need to do something. After chaos and not so orderly Thailand, Singapore seems to offer alternative, cos it i such sharp contrast. After 2 trips you give up, cos how mind numbingly boring Singapore is. There is nothing there.

Then you realize you can not live your life that way, your life is set to pause button. You are not being alive. You get used to it tho. We adopt. Only going back home, to Europe did I realize I vegetated theses 2 years that I staid.

The main issue is probably not having no roots here, no childhood friends. You very likely won't be making new friends here. It is very very difficult to meet people here, no matter what age. For one thing, there are no people your age, but that is not really issue for me, I don't see age as a thing. What I find here is that people are not looking to make friends here, it's like we are loners here. Of course with age we are careful who we meet, who we let cose. The older we are, the higher the walls we have built.

It may be important what kind of life you had, before moving here. I was very active in Toronto, had business, many friends. As European, I was a fish in the water in Canada and US. Not so in Thailand.

So after maybe a year, you give up. After being here 2 years straight, I couldn't take it. I now stay every winter, purely for weather, and how cheap it is still here. But I'd lose my mind, if I had to stay here again permanently.

A very thought-provoking post Whitemouse - I'm well OVER 40 but still completely empathise with what you say.

Partly why I keep putting my move off, although the bit about the winters always makes me re-consider.

[MrWorldwide]

@VBF I feel much the same at 55, although I'm only in my 12th month in Pattaya, but this town is a Godsend for insomniacs : the Thais just dont go to bed at 10pm (or 1am for that matter). I can go down to the 7/11 out front of my building and there will be a stack of people eating noodles outside - I've seen that right up to 3am - and the karaoke bars across the road literally go all night. Even the street lighting we take for granted here isnt a given in cities like Pnomh Penh and dont even get me started on Vientiane. Spent the longest week of my life there one Monday night in 2008

Perfect world, I'd spend eight months of the year in Japan and the remainder in SEA, but that's a fantasy I'll have to hang onto for my reincarnation as a fabulously wealthy Japanese entrepreneur. Bring it on, Hiro.

[VIPinthailand]

and what you do in the USA? get a boring job, buy a house and fill your house with useless gadgets so you can spend all your night at watching TV for hours and yell at your fat lady to bring a beer. or you can

meet people in farang land who ask you where Thailand is. want go out with these idiots? sorry I prefer to be alone in Pattaya and I m very happy where I am. I prefer not to worry about money, pay tax, and look for a dumb job which pay shit in farangland. Pattaya is heaven, you got everything a man can dream of.

if you don't like it, nobody force you to come to Pattaya, you can still stay in your Omaha Nebraska.

[SPG]

[dotpoom]

I arrived 11 years ago at age 31 and have been in central Pattaya ever since. The positive aspect of arriving at that age is that you get a lot of attention and get propositioned and offered for some things for at no cost that others would have to pay for (use your imagination).

I ask , with the greatest respect, in regards to the above, were you not getting the same offers at home?...Why do you think that is a "positive" aspect of being in Pattaya at 31 years of age? When I was that age it was the "normal" situation back home....Myself and my friends did not have to pay for what you talk about. Boy meets girl etc., not talking about buying or selling, just about meeting people of the opposite sex.

[Benmart]

...

What are some good hangout spots for socializing? Are these mostly beer bars or is there an "intellectual" or college district? Thanks for the info!

There is a university in Chonburi and you may find the odd Farang who is on your wavelength, but in the main this is just a provincial Thai town with a sex industry based on the ready availability of poorly educated Thais from the Northeast : hardly what your looking for. Central Bangkok sounds a lot closer to what you're after.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Asian_University

Sex industry? That may be true in some areas, but the city is huge and has many areas that don't ply that trade. One only has to get out and look at the larger picture of what Pattaya and Chonburi is all about.

"When one travels an unclean kitchen, one will almost certainly find roaches ".

[vogie]

Amazes me people say there is nothing to do except bars...well, just what did you do in your Fatherland???....There is the same here T.V cinemas, sports clubs, sports grounds, go karting, fishing, sailing, horse riding. paragliding etc etc etc...far more activities at affordable prices that what you had back home.

Yeah, but apart from those, what is there to do?

[does]

"It's all in your head" come to mind when reading this response. I am sorry you are suffering so much here. But I know a lot of farang who feel your pain. They go on endlessly about bad sides of Thailand - or rather their own frustatration with it - but keep coming back.

To the OP, your "profile" make me think you may find Chang Mai better than Pattaya. It seems to have more "intellectually and culturally curious" expat community.

It can get crushingly boring here very quickly.

To me it felt like living retired mans life, and I was retired, except around 30. That was around 2003. There are almost no people your age here, especially then. Now with Russians in Pattaya, that has changed little bit, but unless you speak Russian, that makes no difference.

Be prepared to live retired mans life, you will fill your days just like a pensioner. You go to the beach, read a book, listen to iPod. It feels like never ending 2 week vacation. I also did not drink, and did not move here for entertainment that Pattaya offers. I had almost no interest in that, I never been inside of major night club here. I do coffee shops, several times a day.

So after you have gone into this routine of beach, then waiting sun go down, and walk on Beach rd, stop at Starbucks for an hour, see every movie in a theatre, that you normally would never watch. But because you need to fill your day with something, you watch everything in theatres.

Of course you go to Bangkok almost every week for few nights. After some time you know the sois of Siam Sq and Sukhumvit better than locals. Then that becomes not fulfilling at all. But you do it anyways, cos you need to fill your day. Retirement is blessing maybe, if you have worked all your life, and can now take it easy. I have not worked much at all, and after living in Toronto, and Europe where I had friends, many friends, this here is very different. Moving to Pattaya felt like moving to retirement home. But you are 30. Everybody around you is age of your dad, and older. After 6 months I started feeling old. I stopped making eye contact with other foreigners, because nobody does it here. It can get depressing. You can get depressed.

Thais will never see you as their own. First year or so you may think this may just take time. No. The longer you stay here, the more you see how you perceived by locals. People will tell you in web forums, that learning Thai may change that. No. You will remain a foreigner, a stranger at best, a mark at worst.

Then you start flying to Singapore, cos you need to do something. After chaos and not so orderly Thailand, Singapore seems to offer alternative, cos it i such sharp contrast. After 2 trips you give up, cos how mind numbingly boring Singapore is. There is nothing there.

Then you realize you can not live your life that way, your life is set to pause button. You are not being alive. You get used to it tho. We adopt. Only going back home, to Europe did I realize I vegetated theses 2 years that I staid.

The main issue is probably not having no roots here, no childhood friends. You very likely won't be making new friends here. It is very very difficult to meet people here, no matter what age. For one thing, there are no people your age, but that is not really issue for me, I don't see age as a thing. What I find here is that people are not looking to make friends here, it's like we are loners here. Of course with age we are careful who we meet, who we let cose. The older we are, the higher the walls we have built.

It may be important what kind of life you had, before moving here. I was very active in Toronto, had business, many friends. As European, I was a fish in the water in Canada and US. Not so in Thailand.

So after maybe a year, you give up. After being here 2 years straight, I couldn't take it. I now stay every winter, purely for weather, and how cheap it is still here. But I'd lose my mind, if I had to stay here again permanently.

[mduras01]

"It's all in your head" come to mind when reading this response. I am sorry you are suffering so much here. But I know a lot of farang who feel your pain. They go on endlessly about bad sides of Thailand - or rather their own frustatration with it - but keep coming back.

To the OP, your "profile" make me think you may find Chang Mai better than Pattaya. It seems to have more "intellectually and culturally curious" expat community.

It can get crushingly boring here very quickly.

To me it felt like living retired mans life, and I was retired, except around 30. That was around 2003. There are almost no people your age here, especially then. Now with Russians in Pattaya, that has changed little bit, but unless you speak Russian, that makes no difference.

Be prepared to live retired mans life, you will fill your days just like a pensioner. You go to the beach, read a book, listen to iPod. It feels like never ending 2 week vacation. I also did not drink, and did not move here for entertainment that Pattaya offers. I had almost no interest in that, I never been inside of major night club here. I do coffee shops, several times a day.

So after you have gone into this routine of beach, then waiting sun go down, and walk on Beach rd, stop at Starbucks for an hour, see every movie in a theatre, that you normally would never watch. But because you need to fill your day with something, you watch everything in theatres.

Of course you go to Bangkok almost every week for few nights. After some time you know the sois of Siam Sq and Sukhumvit better than locals. Then that becomes not fulfilling at all. But you do it anyways, cos you need to fill your day. Retirement is blessing maybe, if you have worked all your life, and can now take it easy. I have not worked much at all, and after living in Toronto, and Europe where I had friends, many friends, this here is very different. Moving to Pattaya felt like moving to retirement home. But you are 30. Everybody around you is age of your dad, and older. After 6 months I started feeling old. I stopped making eye contact with other foreigners, because nobody does it here. It can get depressing. You can get depressed.

Thais will never see you as their own. First year or so you may think this may just take time. No. The longer you stay here, the more you see how you perceived by locals. People will tell you in web forums, that learning Thai may change that. No. You will remain a foreigner, a stranger at best, a mark at worst.

Then you start flying to Singapore, cos you need to do something. After chaos and not so orderly Thailand, Singapore seems to offer alternative, cos it i such sharp contrast. After 2 trips you give up, cos how mind numbingly boring Singapore is. There is nothing there.

Then you realize you can not live your life that way, your life is set to pause button. You are not being alive. You get used to it tho. We adopt. Only going back home, to Europe did I realize I vegetated theses 2 years that I staid.

The main issue is probably not having no roots here, no childhood friends. You very likely won't be making new friends here. It is very very difficult to meet people here, no matter what age. For one thing, there are no people your age, but that is not really issue for me, I don't see age as a thing. What I find here is that people are not looking to make friends here, it's like we are loners here. Of course with age we are careful who we meet, who we let cose. The older we are, the higher the walls we have built.

It may be important what kind of life you had, before moving here. I was very active in Toronto, had business, many friends. As European, I was a fish in the water in Canada and US. Not so in Thailand.

So after maybe a year, you give up. After being here 2 years straight, I couldn't take it. I now stay every winter, purely for weather, and how cheap it is still here. But I'd lose my mind, if I had to stay here again permanently.

Thank you, yeah I can kind of understand the story here. I guess it's for a certain "type", not saying that type is sex-related, no, but just a sort of loner type, maybe. After reading this thread so far, I don't think I could handle long-term. But I think a 2-3 months, and a lot of side trips to islands, would be okay...

[elgenon]

Eh, why Singapore? There are many other countries that are more interesting.

[neeray]

and what you do in the USA? get a boring job, buy a house and fill your house with useless gadgets so you can spend all your night at watching TV for hours and yell at your fat lady to bring a beer. or you can

meet people in farang land who ask you where Thailand is. want go out with these idiots? sorry I prefer to be alone in Pattaya and I m very happy where I am. I prefer not to worry about money, pay tax, and look for a dumb job which pay shit in farangland. Pattaya is heaven, you got everything a man can dream of.

if you don't like it, nobody force you to come to Pattaya, you can still stay in your Omaha Nebraska.

Well said. That is my view of USA / Canada life as compared to Thailand (just not Pattaya for me).

[graexx]

I'm late 50's and Ive been coming to Pattaya 3 months a year for the past 25 years - now I'm retired and spend 5 months a year in Pattaya (and partly Samui).I must admit the femmes have always been a big part of it for me; something sexy about the warm personality and carefree way of Thai women - but I dislike the bars, particularly the low-rent ones typical of Pattaya (except the first couple of years I visited Thailand) and drink only a little.

I share the thoughts most of the other posters' have made in this thread - at one time or another, I have felt the same as most of them.

I could say that huge the influx of Russian (they often seem rather unfriendly - perhaps its the language barrier), - and now the noisy and rude tourist-packaged Chinese tourists, makes Pattaya far less attractive - but then again you can always go to areas where few of them hang out.

There's a proverb which goes something like: a man decided to move to another town for a better and happier life, and did so a few times - but kept finding the same life he had in the previous towns.

I guess it's all in the mind - I guess ....

[Bernard Flint]

I arrived 11 years ago at age 31 and have been in central Pattaya ever since. The positive aspect of arriving at that age is that you get a lot of attention and get propositioned and offered for some things for at no cost that others would have to pay for (use your imagination).

The bad is that I’m not a drinker so being in bars every night had and still has little appeal. So what else is there to do? Internet wasn’t what it is today so finding activities meant looking the newspaper or joining the 2 English expat clubs for ideas. I did some expat club outings but every single person in the clubs are near the age of my parents. I became friendly with some expats but they were always 20-40 years older than me. Not really a problem but I still wished to meet people closer to my age.

A few years ago, I joined a sports team which finally brought me closer to guys my age but despite my attempts to form closer friendships, once the game was over, we all went our separate ways for a much needed shower and sleep. The ED visa is the way to go although the schools are making the students jump through more and more hoops. Any questions?

sir

You must be3 able to read, write and speak nearly fluent thai????, are there thai places to go to

[Bernard Flint]

I arrived 11 years ago at age 31 and have been in central Pattaya ever since. The positive aspect of arriving at that age is that you get a lot of attention and get propositioned and offered for some things for at no cost that others would have to pay for (use your imagination).

I ask , with the greatest respect, in regards to the above, were you not getting the same offers at home?...Why do you think that is a "positive" aspect of being in Pattaya at 31 years of age? When I was that age it was the "normal" situation back home....Myself and my friends did not have to pay for what you talk about. Boy meets girl etc., not talking about buying or selling, just about meeting people of the opposite sex.

I agree

night clubs, visits to crazy spanish resorts, i cannot even understand why someone would come to thailand at that age, but up to him lol

[jackanapes]

my advice is go back to where you came from pattaya is unlike any other city as it gets bigger it is attracting all the lowlife of the world a modern day SODOM stay and you will be drawn into the web .

[micmichd]

Pattaya is what you make out of it.

The natives are not so narrow-minded and focused on sex only as many suggest.

[IrishInThailand]

I think here without a job or at least a source of income will eventually lead to your exit anyhow.

I am here 6 months now and yes the bar scene tires (especially now as its costing the same price as buying a drink in Munich due to exchange rates...), so unless you have some job or something you will quickly see Pattaya as being a block to any future career plans !!

[MrWorldwide]

my advice is go back to where you came from pattaya is unlike any other city as it gets bigger it is attracting all the lowlife of the world a modern day SODOM stay and you will be drawn into the web .

You seem to be assuming that's a new development - I dont believe it is, but what I do believe is that people on the margins are becoming more desperate.

http://www.thaivisa.com/forum/topic/816637-is-pattaya-a-victim-of-its-own-success/

Pattaya was always going to attract people - Thai and foreigner alike - who saw easy money in the pockets of the unwary : what has changed is the supply of said pockets and the number of people who want a slice of the pie. Consider that my dissertation - I'm off to Cambodia in May to experience new people and places.

[dotpoom]

"It's all in your head" come to mind when reading this response. I am sorry you are suffering so much here. But I know a lot of farang who feel your pain. They go on endlessly about bad sides of Thailand - or rather their own frustatration with it - but keep coming back.

To the OP, your "profile" make me think you may find Chang Mai better than Pattaya. It seems to have more "intellectually and culturally curious" expat community.

It can get crushingly boring here very quickly.

To me it felt like living retired mans life, and I was retired, except around 30. That was around 2003. There are almost no people your age here, especially then. Now with Russians in Pattaya, that has changed little bit, but unless you speak Russian, that makes no difference.

Be prepared to live retired mans life, you will fill your days just like a pensioner. You go to the beach, read a book, listen to iPod. It feels like never ending 2 week vacation. I also did not drink, and did not move here for entertainment that Pattaya offers. I had almost no interest in that, I never been inside of major night club here. I do coffee shops, several times a day.

So after you have gone into this routine of beach, then waiting sun go down, and walk on Beach rd, stop at Starbucks for an hour, see every movie in a theatre, that you normally would never watch. But because you need to fill your day with something, you watch everything in theatres.

Of course you go to Bangkok almost every week for few nights. After some time you know the sois of Siam Sq and Sukhumvit better than locals. Then that becomes not fulfilling at all. But you do it anyways, cos you need to fill your day. Retirement is blessing maybe, if you have worked all your life, and can now take it easy. I have not worked much at all, and after living in Toronto, and Europe where I had friends, many friends, this here is very different. Moving to Pattaya felt like moving to retirement home. But you are 30. Everybody around you is age of your dad, and older. After 6 months I started feeling old. I stopped making eye contact with other foreigners, because nobody does it here. It can get depressing. You can get depressed.

Thais will never see you as their own. First year or so you may think this may just take time. No. The longer you stay here, the more you see how you perceived by locals. People will tell you in web forums, that learning Thai may change that. No. You will remain a foreigner, a stranger at best, a mark at worst.

Then you start flying to Singapore, cos you need to do something. After chaos and not so orderly Thailand, Singapore seems to offer alternative, cos it i such sharp contrast. After 2 trips you give up, cos how mind numbingly boring Singapore is. There is nothing there.

Then you realize you can not live your life that way, your life is set to pause button. You are not being alive. You get used to it tho. We adopt. Only going back home, to Europe did I realize I vegetated theses 2 years that I staid.

The main issue is probably not having no roots here, no childhood friends. You very likely won't be making new friends here. It is very very difficult to meet people here, no matter what age. For one thing, there are no people your age, but that is not really issue for me, I don't see age as a thing. What I find here is that people are not looking to make friends here, it's like we are loners here. Of course with age we are careful who we meet, who we let cose. The older we are, the higher the walls we have built.

It may be important what kind of life you had, before moving here. I was very active in Toronto, had business, many friends. As European, I was a fish in the water in Canada and US. Not so in Thailand.

So after maybe a year, you give up. After being here 2 years straight, I couldn't take it. I now stay every winter, purely for weather, and how cheap it is still here. But I'd lose my mind, if I had to stay here again permanently.

Thank you, yeah I can kind of understand the story here. I guess it's for a certain "type", not saying that type is sex-related, no, but just a sort of loner type, maybe. After reading this thread so far, I don't think I could handle long-term. But I think a 2-3 months, and a lot of side trips to islands, would be okay...

Really interesting points being made here and I identified with them completely.

The steps I took when I arrived at that point was to spend a lot of time time driving around Thailand with my then wife (I don't drink either). I also bought a house and made it my "home". I remember being told when I was younger by a much older man ..."Wherever, or in whatever, you decide to live, make sure that it is a place that you look forward to coming home to at night time".

I really understand how important that is, it doesn't matter if it is as small as a dog box or a mansion...put your own stamp on it and make it a "home" you love being in. That principle has made it possible for me to be happy no matter where I am.

I too thought of going home at times but as a friend once said to me..." you would be an invisable man at home sitting by the fire waiting to die"...ok,..... maybe not a completely accurate picture but I got his point.

I have thought myself now how to live in the present moment (to the best of my ability anyway and getting better with practice) . I try not to wait for life to happen to me, but rather go in search of it....wehen I adopt that attitude....the possibilities are endless and adventureous.