YOU MAY BE IN THAILAND IF......

[Itchintogo]

Deleted all 12 items as this is supposed to be a light-hearted look at things, and should not cover things like mushroom pickers and cop killers "justice" or drivers on the roads.

Oh...one can stay...

When people in restaurants sit cross-legged on the chairs.

Or on a motorbike!

[NoshowJones]

Deleted all 12 items as this is supposed to be a light-hearted look at things, and should not cover things like mushroom pickers and cop killers "justice" or drivers on the roads.

Oh...one can stay...

When people in restaurants sit cross-legged on the chairs.

Or on a motorbike!

Or on the kitchen floor eating a meal while the table and chairs are redundant.

[Litlos]

Girls sitting side saddle on a motorbike taxi doing their makeup oblivious to the riding style of the rider

[willyumiii]

This is the OP.

There have been some great posts so far!

But we all know there are so many more, let's keep it going.

Maybe I can compile them all into one list hen it peters out.

Thanks much to Seastallion for deleting the inappropriate replies...

Keep it fun.

I am surprised that so few have been about driving and traffic in Thailand.

How about.....

You may be in Thailand..... if it is O.K. to walk in the street and ride your motor scooter on the sidewalk!

You may be in Thailand if..... That line in the middle of the road is just a pretty decoration and people can drive on any side they choose!

You may be in Thailand if.... You see children riding on top of a school bus!

Thanks for all of the great input so far!

[willyumiii]

Deleted all 12 items as this is supposed to be a light-hearted look at things, and should not cover things like mushroom pickers and cop killers "justice" or drivers on the roads.

Oh...one can stay...

When people in restaurants sit cross-legged on the chairs.

Thank you for the "house cleaning" Seastallion!

[juice777]

You may be I Thailand if your girl friend is listing to Christmas songs in june

[green job]

Girls sitting side saddle on a motorbike taxi doing their makeup oblivious to the riding style of the rider

Girls sitting on a motorbike,picking their spots and blackheads in the mirrior.

[pgrahmm]

You may be in Thailand/Pattaya style if you're living by the 4 hour cycle clock.......living on Viagra time

[Seastallion]

You might be in Thailand if TVF is your sole source of humour in your life.

You might be in Thailand if rivalries on TVF actually make you angry.

You definitely are in Thailand if you scoff at newbies to TVF who mention something naive about any of the subjects posted above.

[Thongkorn]

you maybe in Thailand if your on Thai Visa

[Anthony5]

You may be in Thailand if most of the cars that pass you on the highway is actually oncoming traffic.

[mca]

You flush the urinal before taking a piss.

When checking into a hotel the first thing you do is see whether the toilet in your room has a bum gun.

You don't stop when the traffic lights turn to red because a glance in your rear view mirror tells you the bloke in the car behind certainly isn't.

When going between Asoke and Petchburi Road on Ratchadapisek your wank bank crashes from being overloaded.

You wonder at what point in a coversation an expat has decided to instigate with you in a lift etc. he going to say something mental.

Edited June 19, 2015 by mca

[mca]

You are definitely in Thailand when....You have a choice of closing the toilet door or dropping your pants, but not enough time to do both.

.

Amen brother! Or for even closer calls the holy trinity of ripping your trousers and pants down with one hand as you lift the toilet seat with the other while sitting down at the same time in an act of coordination that wouls have a Chinese State Circus acrobat green with envy.

[overherebc]

You've been here too long when,

You fully understand that the correct direction around a roundabout is entirely dependent on the size of your vehicle.

You know that a beer Chang at 8am is OK.

You fully understand ' my friend you where?'

[StreetCowboy]

...You may be in Thailand if..... That line in the middle of the road is just a pretty decoration and people can drive on any side they choose!

...

I don't know where you're from, but on my licence it says "Tear along the dashed line"

You may be in Bangkok if every reasonable priced restaurant you used to frequent is now a construction site

[piewarmer]

You might be in Thailand if everyone you know has 3 letter names.

[piewarmer]

You might be in Thailand listening to a group of local women talking, thinking they sound like a horde of crows.

[piewarmer]

You might be in Thailand when you are in heavy traffic but no-one is blowing their horn.

[xen]

• Maps do not make any sense anymore

A good day out is spent in a shopping mall

You only drink Lao Khao until somebody else is paying at the restaurant then it is nothing below Johnny Walker Black you drink !

If it is a hot day it is perfectly acceptable to park your car/bike on the footpath in the shade and expect pedestrians to walk in the sun to get around it .

[BKResort]

You may be in Thailand if you are replacing salt for sugar in your meals...

[kowpot]

You may be in Thailand,

If you shipped all your household goods and paid to get it through customs and realized it all cost more than originally paid for all your stuff.

You may be in Thailand,

If you paid 3 times the cost of what a Thai pays to go to a National Park

Edited June 20, 2015 by kowpot

[NickJ]

You may be in Thailand when you need directions of a map and who ever you ask turns the map upside down the second they get it and pretend to know what it is......

[Crazy chef 1]

...if finally all makes complete sense....

[juice777]

You may be in Thailand when every time u cook something your girlfriend says it taste nice but it needs more chillies

[mca]

You drive into a torrential rainstorm that requires dipped headlights and driving at a very low speed before emerging onto a bone dry road with not a raindrop in sight after about 200 metres.

Hot dogs wrapped in a crepe and smothered in chocolate sauce.

Drinking Coke from a plastic bag.

A police officer riding up to man a check point with no helmet where they're stopping motorcyclists for not wearing a helmet.

( For Brits) Turning left at a red traffic light.

[mca]

You drive into a torrential rainstorm that requires dipped headlights and driving at a very low speed before emerging onto a bone dry road with not a raindrop in sight after about 200 metres.

Hot dogs wrapped in a crepe and smothered in chocolate sauce.

Drinking Coke from a plastic bag.

A police officer riding up to man a check point with no helmet where they're stopping motorcyclists for not wearing a helmet.

( For Brits) Turning left at a red traffic light.

[xen]

Going in for a nice relaxing massage and having the television blaring out at 120 decibels with a bells and whistles "comedy " show.

Can substitute massage for a meal in a restaurant. As soon as you walk in the television goes on 'for your entertainment.'.

[willyumiii]

The following is the promised compilation of contributions to this thread.

I did not include a couple that made no sense, but other than that, none have been edited.

Thanks for all oof the input. I enjoyed it!

You May Be In Thailand If....docx

[xen]

Having those pick-ups going around with the enormous speakers advertising something about something you are not remotely interested in but it disturbs your peace ,and goodwill towards your fellow mankind, for the next half hour until the earthquake like vibrations subside. Then you go back to whatever you were doing as if nothing happened.

[Litlos]

- Your pizza has mayonnaise on it

- Tinned condensed milk on toast is considered Aloi

- Going for a pre dinner walk doubles as collecting time for assorted leaves and weeds that are incorporated into dinner

Cheers