willyumiii Posted June 18, 2015 Share Posted June 18, 2015 For a while now, I have thought it may be fun to start a topic in the spirit of Jeff Foxworthy's " You might be a redneck if..." routine about life in Thailand. There are things about life in Thailand that you do not find often in other places and I find many of them humorous. I will start with a couple I have in mind and hope others will add theirs. Let's try to make this a humorous thread and not another bashing one...o.k.? Here are my first three: You may be in Thailand if...... there is a roll of toilet paper on the table you are eating at, and no toilet paper in the bathroom! You may be in Thailand if.....the police fine you for driving without a driver's licence and give you a letter stating that you can not be fined again for driving without a licence for the next 24 hours! You may be in Thailand if....your wife refers to five different women as her grandmother! What have you got to add? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
weegee Posted June 18, 2015 Share Posted June 18, 2015 You may be in Thailand if....Your wife is eating cake for breakfast Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nojoma Posted June 18, 2015 Share Posted June 18, 2015 you may be in thailand if .....being 3 score and seven a hot chick says u hansum man......and u believe it Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
h90 Posted June 18, 2015 Share Posted June 18, 2015 You may be in Thailand if....Your wife is eating cake for breakfast We in middle Europe eat cake for breakfast.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
green job Posted June 18, 2015 Share Posted June 18, 2015 You may be in Thailand if....Your wife is eating cake for breakfast We in middle Europe eat cake for breakfast.... You mean You want your cake and eat it ! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NickJ Posted June 18, 2015 Share Posted June 18, 2015 You may be in Thailand if while dining at a world class Italian Restaurant in a five star hotel your GF orders ketchup for her dish......and in looking around, she's not the only one. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
surangw Posted June 18, 2015 Share Posted June 18, 2015 if you pick your nose on the sky train. ( and too long if you inspect your findings) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chickenslegs Posted June 18, 2015 Share Posted June 18, 2015 ... if you don't even look twice when you see 4 children riding to school on one motorbike. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eddy B Posted June 18, 2015 Share Posted June 18, 2015 You maybe in Thailand if..........5 people riding motorcycle is normal and not a display team You maybe in Thailand if..........people think that a fruit that smells like dog poop is the best thing since sliced bread You maybe in Thailand if..........there are rules but..............not really, just guidelines to follow when not in a hurry You maybe in Thailand if..........you see someone of the female looking persuasion but have a voice like Barry White Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Litlos Posted June 18, 2015 Share Posted June 18, 2015 You maybe in Thailand if - After working away for a month on arriving home you put 2 rolls of toilet paper in the freezer You maybe in Thailand if - The following day you are looking for toilet paper out of the freezer to soothe the 2nd burn You maybe in Thailand if - When the missus starts cooking it can be mistaken for tear gas with all the chilli vapours You maybe in Thailand if - Going out for dinner can involve eating from various street vendors You maybe in Thailand if - Half the cars parked anywhere have the windscreen wipers lifted up off the glass Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
redandyellow Posted June 18, 2015 Share Posted June 18, 2015 YOU MAY BE IN THAILAND IF...... You get Sniffed (It's called a HOM) by Sundry Thai Females, in no particular pecking order.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
redandyellow Posted June 18, 2015 Share Posted June 18, 2015 YOU MAY BE IN THAILAND IF...... you see 3 legged dogs running around all over the place you see attractive females, all with motorcycle scars you see men that look better than many of the women you see a man with no arms and legs, pushing a small bowl with his head on a busy Bangkok street you see Thai women working on construction sites with bare feet - and plenty of boards with nails sticking out you see farang hanging around outside 7-11's, drinking Large Chang beers you see touts that turn from sycophants to vicious sharks you see the truth Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HLover Posted June 18, 2015 Share Posted June 18, 2015 YOU MAY BE IN THAILAND IF...... you see 3 legged dogs running around all over the place you see attractive females, all with motorcycle scars you see men that look better than many of the women you see a man with no arms and legs, pushing a small bowl with his head on a busy Bangkok street you see Thai women working on construction sites with bare feet - and plenty of boards with nails sticking out you see farang hanging around outside 7-11's, drinking Large Chang beers you see touts that turn from sycophants to vicious sharks you see the truth What is a sycophant? A new style of trouser perhaps? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
surangw Posted June 18, 2015 Share Posted June 18, 2015 YOU MAY BE IN THAILAND IF...... you see 3 legged dogs running around all over the place you see attractive females, all with motorcycle scars you see men that look better than many of the women you see a man with no arms and legs, pushing a small bowl with his head on a busy Bangkok street you see Thai women working on construction sites with bare feet - and plenty of boards with nails sticking out you see farang hanging around outside 7-11's, drinking Large Chang beers you see touts that turn from sycophants to vicious sharks you see the truth What is a sycophant? A psychopath mouth breather Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thongkorn Posted June 18, 2015 Share Posted June 18, 2015 Thailand where they sit on Tables and eat off the floor Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anthony5 Posted June 18, 2015 Share Posted June 18, 2015 You may be in Thailand if....Your wife is eating cake for breakfast We in middle Europe eat cake for breakfast.... When I read the news of lately, I think most in Europe eat cake all day. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
phazey Posted June 18, 2015 Share Posted June 18, 2015 ....You drive 3 hours, then carry buckets of boiled eggs to put on a shelf for 20 minutes, then bring them back home.... (I'm all for boiled egg tourism). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Old Croc Posted June 18, 2015 Share Posted June 18, 2015 You find footprints on your toilet seat. You've been in Thailand too long if the footprints are yours. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soutpeel Posted June 18, 2015 Share Posted June 18, 2015 you may be Thailand if you get on an an anonymous internet forum about Thailand and feel obligated to inject how things are in your native country at every opportunity and how things are bigger and better there and try and draw tenuous comparisons with Thailand Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bernard Flint Posted June 18, 2015 Share Posted June 18, 2015 You see big fat, hairy, old expats, with singha vests on, who pretend they have money Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CharlieH Posted June 19, 2015 Share Posted June 19, 2015 MOVED to the Pub Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
khunpa Posted June 19, 2015 Share Posted June 19, 2015 You may be in Thailand if...... you get 3 different answers, when asking 3 different lawyers a simple question... (and they all smile and say "don't worry") Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
khunpa Posted June 19, 2015 Share Posted June 19, 2015 You may be in Thailand if...... you wake up next to the hot girl you danced with last night, but who now looks very much like a boy.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Loptr Posted June 19, 2015 Share Posted June 19, 2015 You may be in Thailand if your GF packs condoms in your bag when you go on a motorcycle road trip with friends... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seastallion Posted June 19, 2015 Share Posted June 19, 2015 Deleted all 12 items as this is supposed to be a light-hearted look at things, and should not cover things like mushroom pickers and cop killers "justice" or drivers on the roads. Oh...one can stay... When people in restaurants sit cross-legged on the chairs. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seastallion Posted June 19, 2015 Share Posted June 19, 2015 You may be in Thailand if your GF packs condoms in your bag when you go on a motorcycle road trip with friends... Or she says that if you take up a mia noi, make sure she's ugly. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gsxrnz Posted June 19, 2015 Share Posted June 19, 2015 You are definitely in Thailand when....You have a choice of closing the toilet door or dropping your pants, but not enough time to do both. You are definitely in Thailand when.... you consider any less than four near-death experiences per kilometre travelled on the road to be somewhat of a slow day. You are definitely in Thailand when.... you can recognise a European fresh of the boat before even the bar girls do. You are definitely in Thailand when.... you can sit at an open bar and within 15 minutes you could have purchased everything you could possibly not want in the world from street hawkers. You are definitely in Thailand when.... you profess to be an officianado of how to correctly use a bum gun without any splash back whatsoever. You are definitely NOT in Thailand when...you desperately miss the aforementioned bum gun when completing your ablutions. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NoshowJones Posted June 19, 2015 Share Posted June 19, 2015 You may be in Thailand if you see a huge truck driving up the hard shoulder of a motorway on the wrong side. You may be in Thailand if you see a fat beer bellied, tattooed, facial haired, wife beater wearing Farang with a beautiful young Thai girl about a third of his age holding his hand walking down the street. You may be in Thailand if you see a market stall holder Thai person with a wad of money chasing someone and shouting " you forgot your change". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NoshowJones Posted June 19, 2015 Share Posted June 19, 2015 You see big fat, hairy, old expats, with singha vests on, who pretend they have money They are not pretending if they are with a young Thai girl about a third of their age. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Naam Posted June 19, 2015 Share Posted June 19, 2015 you may be in Thailand if you complain that drawing money from an ATM might invoke charges. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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