Help, my wife is a hoarder

[talktomarty]

Actually the whole family are hoarders. A bit of background info, I mostly work abroad and earn a decent expat salary so we are not wanting for anything. We bought a rural property and built a nice home, Mum and Dad live there because it's not safe for a woman and a 9 year old to live alone. Her Mum and Dad are solid, work hard but I have the same battle every time I come home, they literally will not throw away anything! Bottle tops, used batteries, bits of off cut metal, old toys that are decaying away...even old tooth brushes will not be thrown away!

I used to pride myself on being a "recycler" in my home country but these people take it to a whole new level! What the hell is it with plastic bags?!! they will never throw any out! they are all other the blooming house! The nice bathroom I built has turned into a hanging space with a big black bucket in the middle, what's the point of building a shower? Even my beloved Honda CRV has turned into a clothes rack!

I come home somtimes and try to arrange a clean-up. "where is the tip?" I ask. After explaining what a tip is I am told only a rag-n-bone man comes around every so often. It all ends up back in the house. And why do they have to watch the TV at volume 35? Why did the neighbours poison my dog?

Ok, I'll shut up now....

[Ghostnigel]

All sounds pretty normal to me...

[HeijoshinCool]

And why do they have to watch the TV at volume 35?

C'mon, you already know the answer to this. Because there isn't a volume 36.

[Ghostnigel]

In every Thai home there is 20 minging toothbrushes, and nearly empty toothpaste tubes, filling up the only shelf in the bathroom....so when ol' farang comes to visit (Loei), i go in the bathroom with a change of clothes, and wash-bag, nowhere to put anything down, apart from the wet floor. No lock on the door......how can you take a 'dump' on a squat toilet, when there are 200 guests (custom wedding) milling around outside the door?

[NickJ]

Every room in my 300sq m house was turned into a hoarder burrow......My pump room....garden shed......every drawer was a junk drawer.....The only plus was I didnt allow litter....as litter in Issan is a badge of pride.........

[HeijoshinCool]

Every room in my 300sq m house was turned into a hoarder burrow......My pump room....garden shed......every drawer was a junk drawer.....The only plus was I didnt allow litter....as litter in Issan is a badge of pride.........

.

Issan, huh? You live in that town called Phak Raht?

[longstebe]

I'm always finding small plazzy bags with receipts in, hair clips and lazzy bands. Every time im home its a small clear out.

[CharlieH]

Moved to Expat life

[SoiBiker]

Help - I married someone I have nothing in common with, and now I'm amazed to discover there are many cultural differences.

[redandyellow]

You may want to endeavor to discover the underlying causes for her hoarding behaviors - that is if she even knows - or is willing to come clean for that matter.

Most neurosis-bases behaviors-syndromes are based on unfulfilled desires, needs or unresolved trauma, imho.

But maybe there is much more to it than what Freud et al espoused to the ignorant masses..my mediocre self included.

Best

[longstebe]

Help - I married someone I have nothing in common with, and now I'm amazed to discover there are many cultural differences.

That was a bit silly then wasn't it.

[redandyellow]

You too noticed the "plastic bag" problem in Thailand?

The country is about to be literally swallowed up in mounds of discarded plastic bags - and yet they are saving-hoarding them?

It speaks to the absurd symptoms of the disease. I have a few myself..

Some battles are not worth fighting. I used to pick up garbage on Thai beaches - and strewn all over my sister in law's place...I modeled good behavior for a decade, and when no one changed, I decided to stop beating my head against the wall.

Change what you can - and forget the rest.

Best

[redandyellow]

Help - I married someone I have nothing in common with, and now I'm amazed to discover there are many cultural differences.

That was a bit silly then wasn't it.

Hind site is soooo wonderful

NOT

[redandyellow]

Help - I married someone I have nothing in common with, and now I'm amazed to discover there are many cultural differences.

Let's re-phrase this shall we?

I was COGNIZANT that there were many cultural differences before we were married, so I was PROACTIVE and learned how to COPE, be FLEXIBLE and CHANGE my EXPECTATIONS due to my own cultural IGNORANCE.

There will be a test on the above 7 words in capital letters. FOREWARNED is FOREARMED.

Thank you

[redandyellow]

And why do they have to watch the TV at volume 35?

Sorry - I missed that part. I would guess they are hard of hearing, just as they find it hard to part with Fk'ing near anything

Lucky they use the bum guns - else they may save the used toilet paper - but I bet they wouldn't go that far

So there are limits to every dysfunction - even this one

Best

[HooHaa]

Help - I married someone I have nothing in common with, and now I'm amazed to discover there are many cultural differences.

I wasn't going to put it quite so nicely, but yes. Yes indeed.

[Patsycat]

Old toothbrushes are good to clean around the hotplates and the grout in the bathroom.

[sdanielmcev]

Not many I see around me are hoarders. Unless you include money. Sometimes poor people will hoard because they never know when they won't have enough.

[samsensam]

dont know if thais hoard more then other nationalities because you cant see the inside of peoples homes a easily in other countries.

but for sure thais love to hoard. walking the small sois you can see right into homes that are jam packed with clutter, in particular newspapers piled from floor to ceiling.

another thing that puzzles me is why so many never decorate or do anything to make the place look nice. many homes look as if they havent had a coat of paint for 30 years. and they seem so happy just sitting on the floor. everyone to their own.

[pigeonjake]

big black bucket in the middle, what's the point of building a shower?

i take it you havnt been there when there is a power cut and want to shower, yes ive got a back up geni, but not for the shower, only for fidges,light abd fans,

we have 2 showers and in one we too have a big black plastic container that is full of water all the time,

and in the hot season is a lot cooler then the water from the shower, yes i turn the heat of the shower but water still warm,

so that explaines your plastic container,

[Crazy chef 1]

Good to know I am not alone....have you mentioned the device formerly known as eating table???

[pgrahmm]

Absolutely nothing goes to waste and in many interesting ways things get repurposed - but no clutter to be found and everything in the house has an organized orderly system......

If I want to buy something to stock/reserve I've been told we have enough for right now......the dining room table stays free for dining.....So - can't say we're hoarding - can say everything has a weighed/considered value......

[Gutterboy]

Help - I married someone I have nothing in common with, and now I'm amazed to discover there are many cultural differences.

Great post.

[Ricardo]

My own wife is also a bit of a hoarder, and always has been, I think perhaps because she was very poor in childhood so came to view 'things' as security. That's things like a 2-year supply of fabric-conditioner, or enough plates to fit out a restaurant, not just womens-clothes/shoes/bags !

Whereas I myself view security as being 'cash-in-the-bank', which I can still spend as I/we want.

Then again my own room (I finally got a study just for me ... yippee !) has way too many books & music-CDs !

But that's totally different, erm, isn't it ?

[keetoot]

thais hoarding is nothing new .

look at the back strerets around khao san .

sh#t everywhere.

[kerrysum]

Old toothbrushes are good to clean around the hotplates and the grout in the bathroom.

Uh,

I have yet to see an Issan ever clean grout on a bathroom floor or wall, much less, keep their kitchen spotless.... I certainly get a giggle from the comments on this, as one poster stated, he finally gave up! So it is with me.....

[ezzra]

My wife is a hoarder too, she's hording my money.... relentlessly....

[BigBadGeordie]

Old toothbrushes are good to clean around the hotplates and the grout in the bathroom.

Uh,

I have yet to see an Issan ever clean grout on a bathroom floor or wall, much less, keep their kitchen spotless.... I certainly get a giggle from the comments on this, as one poster stated, he finally gave up! So it is with me.....

I take it you have not seen much of Issan, but hey, don't let that get in the way of your constant stereotyping.

[kerrysum]

You may want to endeavor to discover the underlying causes for her hoarding behaviors - that is if she even knows - or is willing to come clean for that matter.

Most neurosis-bases behaviors-syndromes are based on unfulfilled desires, needs or unresolved trauma, imho.

But maybe there is much more to it than what Freud et al espoused to the ignorant masses..my mediocre self included.

Best

And if I am not mistaken, I think that woman posted on your head liner is no other than Lucy-Thai?

Just sayin'....

[h90]

And why do they have to watch the TV at volume 35?

C'mon, you already know the answer to this. Because there isn't a volume 36.

But you can buy them one of these amplifiers......they will love it and can turn on the sound to the double.