Help, my wife is a hoarder

[BookMan]

Old toothbrushes are good to clean around the hotplates and the grout in the bathroom.

And perfect to lend to unwanted guests

[Mudcrab]

Almost every home in my neighbourhood has a black plastic tub in the bathroom. The water gets cut around 3 times a week ( usually in the mornings, when you want to shower)

Black plastic tubs are sooooo last season. We have blue ones......get with the program.

[fitnesspm]

https://youtu.be/UPD6SmnrRzI

[dotpoom]

Really sorry...but had to laugh. Am a bit of a hoarder myself (but not as bad as them TG). I like secondhand markets and my Ex. once told me that I buy all their rubbish and then have to hold a sale myself to try and sell it back to them when I have too much of it. Seriously, I once had an Uncle that used to pick up paperclips, screws and bottle caps etc., etc., etc.,. His reasoning was that if you ever wanted a paperclip for something, the one you picked up would save you having to buy a box of them (he liked picking up stuff that you couldn't purchase on it's own but would have to buy a box of them) Old tooth brushes same same, could use that for cleaning between tiles or bicycle chains etc.,...Blow me, if he didn't start me at it as well. My Thai wife now is even copping into the act...from laughing at it in the beginning, she's almost worst than me now. We won't start on the cloths and rags.

Occasionally, I do have a big "clean out" and feel so much happier and mentally lighter after it... (even after taking half of it back out of the bin).

Good Luck OP.....You may well need it.

[NoshowJones]

Help - I married someone I have nothing in common with, and now I'm amazed to discover there are many cultural differences.

You married someone????????????????

[lovelomsak]

My wife saves everything. The amazing part is she will be doing something and need to improvise or jury rig something and she knows where to go in the house to get the thing she needs to finish the job.she will take apart light fixtures for one small part and use it. When i tell her i need to go buy something to repair something she always seems to be able to scrounge what is needed to fix the problem with what she hoards. What really amazes me is she remembers where everything is she hoards.

[Remi080]

All sounds pretty normal to me...

Amen!

[Patsycat]

Old toothbrushes are good to clean around the hotplates and the grout in the bathroom.

And perfect to lend to unwanted guests

And to get up underneath the lip of the toilet bowl, and then lend to unwanted guests....

[Blackfox]

You're meddling with the low class mate. Good luck…I wouldn't want your life.

[Torrens54]

Oh, a HOARDER.... sorry, thought you meant something else, was going to ask the going rate.

[slipperylobster]

My wife (and her daughter) like to "gather things" around them. They will occupy a space, and soon that area will be filled with all sorts of stuff (that never gets back to the storage area). The clutter makes them complete...I suppose.

For example...chairs, books, beauty aids, food, clothing, plastic bags, dishes, glasses, keys, cellphones, and anything else they touch...will surround their sitting area.

My wife is otherwise, very clean.....but extremely unorganized. Even her pocket book is actually a large cloth bag, where everything is just put into to. No separate pockets for keys or money. We spent quite a bit of time searching for her things. She gets on the cellphone, and just places her keys where ever she wants. Problem is, when we are ready to leave...we have to hunt them down. The more I ask her to replace things, to the proper place, the more she refuses.

As I a growing "forgetful", I have had to keep my things in certain places. This becomes my priority..as I hate to go through a 10 room house and look for stuff. I could find my keys and money....even if I were blind. Perhaps using a computer for years and years, has trained our minds to store and file things logically...where we can retrieve the file/photo/program, etc......later. I might just have a fetish with organizing things.

Edited June 29, 2015 by slipperylobster

[Konaboy1]

All sounds pretty normal to me...

Soooo what....is his real concerns here in Thailand??

It's not only the new normal, old normal too!!

[MAJIC]

My own wife is also a bit of a hoarder, and always has been, I think perhaps because she was very poor in childhood so came to view 'things' as security. That's things like a 2-year supply of fabric-conditioner, or enough plates to fit out a restaurant, not just womens-clothes/shoes/bags !

Whereas I myself view security as being 'cash-in-the-bank', which I can still spend as I/we want.

Then again my own room (I finally got a study just for me ... yippee !) has way too many books & music-CDs !

But that's totally different, erm, isn't it ?

And they can save money on Furniture,all that's needed is a blanket for the floor,it took my MIL ages to realise the 3 piece suite,china cupboard,and coffee table was meant to be arranged around the lounge,and not to be piled up around one corner to make room for the family blanket on the floor!

Every thing has a second life: plastic bottles, Jam Jars,and drinking straws can be washed out,over and over again,and never mind the hygiene! personally I wait until the family has gone out for the day,and have a dumping session,especially those half finished bottles of out of date diluting drinks,and dated freezer stuff!

[MAJIC]

I think a lot of this hoarding has to do with poverty and not having, or being able to afford, the things which may be needed/useful in the future. These issues, to me, are far less important than if the wife wasted everything and simply purchased more than needed. Count your blessings my firend, I have a good mate who is being forced to the poor house by his wasteful wife. She orders much more than she will eat at restaurants, then refuses to take it home; she buys clothes she doesn't wear and gives them to friends; she takes taxis to go down the street, even though she has a car and a motorbike; she has two maids, a driver, and a gardner, even though she has no kids and lives in a nice but rather small house; she goes out while he is off-shore and shouts rounds/rings the bell in bars.

Not so much the wife,more like the Enemy with in!

[Docno]

Old toothbrushes are good to clean around the hotplates and the grout in the bathroom.

Damn - that's why the toothbrush I leave at my gf's place tastes so funky!

[thaibeachlovers]

I think a lot of this hoarding has to do with poverty and not having, or being able to afford, the things which may be needed/useful in the future. These issues, to me, are far less important than if the wife wasted everything and simply purchased more than needed. Count your blessings my firend, I have a good mate who is being forced to the poor house by his wasteful wife. She orders much more than she will eat at restaurants, then refuses to take it home; she buys clothes she doesn't wear and gives them to friends; she takes taxis to go down the street, even though she has a car and a motorbike; she has two maids, a driver, and a gardner, even though she has no kids and lives in a nice but rather small house; she goes out while he is off-shore and shouts rounds/rings the bell in bars.

Re your mate- does he pay for her wasteful habits? If so, the answer lies with him .

I wish my wife gave her unused clothes away. They currently reside in several large storage boxes despite my asking her to get rid of them- NB I do not buy her clothes.

[Stevemercer]

One unique Thai 'hoarding' habit is how they will order all the uneaten food at a restaurant to be put in plastic bags to take away. Then, at another restaurant, the food will all be produced again and given to the waitress to be reheated and served again. Imagine trying to do that in any western country.

[kannot]

Maybe better a hoarder than a hoar

[kannot]

You lot should think yourselves lucky....my Wife rents condos out and when every tenant leaves usually foreigners going "home" they leave behind a vast array of stuff, i think we currently have 3-4 microwaves 3-4 tvs Umpteen clothes unlimited shampoo soap toothpaste, junk furniture etc etc etc

[pgrahmm]

My wife saves everything. The amazing part is she will be doing something and need to improvise or jury rig something and she knows where to go in the house to get the thing she needs to finish the job.she will take apart light fixtures for one small part and use it. When i tell her i need to go buy something to repair something she always seems to be able to scrounge what is needed to fix the problem with what she hoards. What really amazes me is she remembers where everything is she hoards.

Bingo.....

[Tony Aparichio]

All sounds pretty normal to me...

Normal is what you are used to. My 85 year old mother is afflicted, in Canada. It is not a Thai thing. Hoarding can be a severe symptom of a psychological problem

. If you arrived with a small army of clutter busters And 3 dumpsters, and successfully stripped the place of ALL EXCESS, It would likely look pretty much the same within a month

unless the underlying psychology is addressed. It was quite common in the western world with people that have lived through the depression, even amonxt people that are quite wealthy.

The organizational plan is totaly neccesary as is dealing with the fact that this "Habit" has been going on for a long time & will not be easy to break.

Plastic bags, fortunately will pretty much always ALL compress down enough to fit inside ONE normal size bag. Clothes... dont fit now-

assume wont fit no immediate takers toss. Havent worn em for a year Gift immediate or toss. 2 months =better.

Handle the psychology or not much point though. Good Luck You Will Need it.

[riceyummm]

Visiting my wife's family home in Isaan the first time I thought "What a junkyard, why keep all this stuff. Five years later when I'm working on some project and say "I need a (whatever), where am I going to find a.........oh, wait, I saw one at Paw Waan's house.....problem solved. Fortunately we built a western style house nearby and my wife, considerate angel that she is, keeps the house in a style I became accustomed to (my mother was a clean freak). Occasionally my wife appears to be suffering withdrawal symptoms so I arrange to have a meal and spend some time at the in laws place, surrounded by all that stuff she calms right down.

The "Junkyard" is now my "Treasure Chest".

[overherebc]

Isn't a shame it's so difficult to hire a skip in Thailand.??

[Ghostnigel]

All sounds pretty normal to me...

Normal is what you are used to. My 85 year old mother is afflicted, in Canada. It is not a Thai thing. Hoarding can be a severe symptom of a psychological problem

. If you arrived with a small army of clutter busters And 3 dumpsters, and successfully stripped the place of ALL EXCESS, It would likely look pretty much the same within a month

unless the underlying psychology is addressed. It was quite common in the western world with people that have lived through the depression, even amonxt people that are quite wealthy.

The organizational plan is totaly neccesary as is dealing with the fact that this "Habit" has been going on for a long time & will not be easy to break.

Plastic bags, fortunately will pretty much always ALL compress down enough to fit inside ONE normal size bag. Clothes... dont fit now-

assume wont fit no immediate takers toss. Havent worn em for a year Gift immediate or toss. 2 months =better.

Handle the psychology or not much point though. Good Luck You Will Need it.

What the hell are you talking about? I SAID, and i quote, "all sounds normal to me"....where the hell did you get all that shit from? I can't tell whether you are bashing me, or agreeing with me....

can anyone else make that shit out? Coz i sure as hell can't...ho-hum.

[Ghostnigel]

Tony, Tony, Tony, I come on here for light entertainment, not to be lectured by you or a couple of others that like to have a pop at me....you are not the only one with a mother with problems ok? If you look again at my post, #2 i think, you will see that 18 people seemed to think it was funny in some way or another, so just chill mate, you ain't gonna change me, ok?

[Ban Merry]

All sounds pretty normal to me...

Normal is what you are used to. My 85 year old mother is afflicted, in Canada. It is not a Thai thing. Hoarding can be a severe symptom of a psychological problem

. If you arrived with a small army of clutter busters And 3 dumpsters, and successfully stripped the place of ALL EXCESS, It would likely look pretty much the same within a month

unless the underlying psychology is addressed. It was quite common in the western world with people that have lived through the depression, even amonxt people that are quite wealthy.

The organizational plan is totaly neccesary as is dealing with the fact that this "Habit" has been going on for a long time & will not be easy to break.

Plastic bags, fortunately will pretty much always ALL compress down enough to fit inside ONE normal size bag. Clothes... dont fit now-

assume wont fit no immediate takers toss. Havent worn em for a year Gift immediate or toss. 2 months =better.

Handle the psychology or not much point though. Good Luck You Will Need it.

What the hell are you talking about? I SAID, and i quote, "all sounds normal to me"....where the hell did you get all that shit from? I can't tell whether you are bashing me, or agreeing with me....

can anyone else make that shit out? Coz i sure as hell can't...ho-hum.

I feel sorry for the mother's that have children that behave like you plonkers!

[smotherb]

I think a lot of this hoarding has to do with poverty and not having, or being able to afford, the things which may be needed/useful in the future. These issues, to me, are far less important than if the wife wasted everything and simply purchased more than needed. Count your blessings my firend, I have a good mate who is being forced to the poor house by his wasteful wife. She orders much more than she will eat at restaurants, then refuses to take it home; she buys clothes she doesn't wear and gives them to friends; she takes taxis to go down the street, even though she has a car and a motorbike; she has two maids, a driver, and a gardner, even though she has no kids and lives in a nice but rather small house; she goes out while he is off-shore and shouts rounds/rings the bell in bars.

Re your mate- does he pay for her wasteful habits? If so, the answer lies with him .

I wish my wife gave her unused clothes away. They currently reside in several large storage boxes despite my asking her to get rid of them- NB I do not buy her clothes.

Of course he does, other than her physical assets, she does not work and has nothing except what he gives her.

[kannot]

Isn't a shame it's so difficult to hire a skip in Thailand.??

why bother when you can throw it anywhere but your own backyard

[Ghostnigel]

All sounds pretty normal to me...

Normal is what you are used to. My 85 year old mother is afflicted, in Canada. It is not a Thai thing. Hoarding can be a severe symptom of a psychological problem

. If you arrived with a small army of clutter busters And 3 dumpsters, and successfully stripped the place of ALL EXCESS, It would likely look pretty much the same within a month

unless the underlying psychology is addressed. It was quite common in the western world with people that have lived through the depression, even amonxt people that are quite wealthy.

The organizational plan is totaly neccesary as is dealing with the fact that this "Habit" has been going on for a long time & will not be easy to break.

Plastic bags, fortunately will pretty much always ALL compress down enough to fit inside ONE normal size bag. Clothes... dont fit now-

assume wont fit no immediate takers toss. Havent worn em for a year Gift immediate or toss. 2 months =better.

Handle the psychology or not much point though. Good Luck You Will Need it.

What the hell are you talking about? I SAID, and i quote, "all sounds normal to me"....where the hell did you get all that shit from? I can't tell whether you are bashing me, or agreeing with me....

can anyone else make that shit out? Coz i sure as hell can't...ho-hum.

I feel sorry for the mother's that have children that behave like you plonkers!

And i feel sorry for your boyfriend, having to kiss your mouth goodnight....

[xen]

As somebody who fits the profile of hoarder i prefer the term of collector much more . I collect music, movies , docos, books, magazines, art, objects d'art and pieces that just grab my fancy, plants, trees, working tools, material , metal esp stainless, knives & swords and other pretty things. i would collect cars and motorbikes if i had a warehouse to store them. A part of me justifies this by telling myself i can turn them into cash if need be just as Thais will hoard gold rather than cash as future hedge proofing against the future . All of Asia and the Middle East follow this habit. But in reality i just like the stuff I collect because i never had stuff like that when i was young.. I find it very hard to go past an second-hand shop or a pile of junk without giving it a perusal to see if anything is worth collecting. I even do it collecting photos and other stuff on the net - pinterest is the current addiction.

But reading some of these posts i recognise the common theme of coming from a background where life was indeed tough My early life was spent in a farming community in the fifties and there were not many luxuries and not much was not re-used , recycled or wasted. Living off the land and most of what we ate was either hunted, trapped or grown and any left over money was used for farm costs and our education. And i ponder if the current Preppers movement (such as in the national Geographic documentary series Doonsday Preppers ) that there is indeed a similar theme of preparing for the hard times because none of us want to live thru those tough times again. A lot of hoarders, collectors or preppers see what they have stashed away as a form of investment against those hard times coming back again . Massive insecurity i admit.