Thanks to Thaivisa Members for Opening My Eyes

[Berkshire]

Take it slow, move over here as a single man and stay single for a while. some day you will meet the girl for you and also take your time with that. Once you get married things change real fast. Many here have successful relationships without being married to the whole family. Lot girls here who want a real relationship and not just an ATM.

Good advice, thank you. I have satisfied myself beyond doubt that this one is not looking at me as an ATM. But the "long run" intentions concern me somewhat quite a lot. When her post was on the dating site, it showed her desired age group between 50 and 75. Why would a gal of this age be looking for such an older man who's time is running out, is the question that I asked myself. I am 57, perhaps this great actress was planning to shorten my life.

Whatever. With what I just found out about a second phone and invitation to meet a man, she won't be getting the chance.

The fact that she's looking for an older guy is normal and not at all suspicious. At 44, she knows she has no chance with younger guys who are mostly looking at hotties in their 20's. But the fact that she's still on dating sites...not good. And she's probably very active on social media as well. If you're looking for Thai women in their 40's, there are just tons out there who don't have the issues and baggage that this one has. Surely you can do better.

On a separate note, how does the 26 yr old daughter look?

[MaeJoMTB]

Thanks. You are partially right. I have stayed at her home in Surat Thani with her and her 26 year old daughter. There are no other children. I have met her mother and many of the family. She (or they) are not looking for my money. This is what confuses me. When I was with her for a month, I got a glimpse of her laptop and saw that she was still on other dating sites. I think she is addicted to male attention.

She is in Ao Nang/Krabi now, not Pattaya at this time. Pattaya 9 month visit was 2011/2012.

Date the daughter, 26 is better than 44 ....... and less mileage on the clock.

Massage = prostitution in Thailand (most of the time).

Not looking for money = looking for a house.

Edited July 20, 2015 by MaeJoMTB

[wooloomooloo]

Now works as a Thai massage therapist in Ao Nang/Krabi.

Hmm.

[NickJ]

Just dont get married. There is zero reason to do so and a million to not. Even a very very vast number. of hi so Thais just have a

wedding ceremony and keep there names and assets seperate.

[canman]

The problem as I see it is the OP has a problem with people who lie, that being the case Thailand is not for him since Saving Face frequently involves a substantial amount of fabrication and un-truths. Perhaps the OP should ask himself, if the propensity for the woman to lie were removed from the equation, how would he feel towards her then. If the answer is, "much better or good" then it's time to find partners from another country since the problem is endemic within the culture here.

Over and out.

You pretty much hit the nail on the head. I do have a problem with one who declares their 100% devotion to me, but lies to me. And from what I read on Thaivisa, you included, lying is part of Thai culture.

Thailand is still in my future but I will now resist the urge to get deeply involved with other Thai females. I guess I will join the ranks of the butterflies if I feel the need for companionship.

Thanks.

Now you get it. If it flys, floats or <deleted>, rent it!

[Muzarella]

Even "normal and honest" Thai women that doesn't speak English well, uses sex to see if they will "hook" a farang.....That means....every time meeting a farang they will have sex if asked about.....That was happening with myself, when single and in my late 60's, and I am not rich or hamsum....

A young and attractive Thai woman interested in meet farangs, can meet one... or two.....or more... EVERY day if they want it.

Imagine one working in bars and massage parlors?

[Bulldozer Dawn]

Don't marry her.

Instead ask yourself these questions:

1. Why does she speak (and write) English

2. Where did she learn to speak English so well given that she has never studied at University, or worked for a big international company

Move to Thailand, learn to speak Thai, and then use your language skills to get out of the tourist bubble and meet a good Thai girl.

You can thank me later.

[chiang mai]

Folks shouldn't overdo the English language aspect, there's loads and loads of jobs in Thailand that require workers to have good English language skills. Similarly, all schools are required to teach English to their students, many don't get very far but some do and those numbers are growing, people are finally beginning to understand that speaking English is an essential attribute.

My wife on the other hand (we've been together for twelve years and she's attended British Council language courses plus lived in the UK), speaks an appalling level of English, I don't think anyone would ever guess that she's been married to an English person for so long! Go figure.

Finally on this subject: I was in my local corner DIY shop in Mae Rim last week, the lady who owns/runs the place is great and she speaks English fluently. After we got to know each other a little I asked why her English was so good, she replied that she had studied the language, purely out of interest, a son and daughter who help out in the shop also speak English as well as I do, they also had studied the language at the insistence of their mother and all three had attended Monfort College, one of the better colleges in CM.

[dageurreotype]

Thanks. My trust level has fluctuated over the year of knowing her. Problem is, I care for this girl very much. But you are right. I doubt that I could ever fully trust her, thus, should back away from marriage.

She's not a 'girl', she's a 44 year old hooker looking for yet another sap to support her now she's retirement age. Seriously ..

[fang37]

Learning English

My computer tech tells me that he learnt English from his clients. His command of the language is VG.

I have known him for 12 years - how much is a reasonable fee to HIM for my services?

[MaeJoMTB]

Folks shouldn't overdo the English language aspect, there's loads and loads of jobs in Thailand that require workers to have good English language skills. Similarly, all schools are required to teach English to their students, many don't get very far but some do and those numbers are growing, people are finally beginning to understand that speaking English is an essential attribute.

Which jobs are these? How would you know they weren't previously sex workers?

Schools ..... none of the Thai English teachers at any of the CM government schools my kids have attended speak any English at all. Fairly clueless at written work too. I think that's usual.

PS

Your wife sounds like a normal respectable Thai lady, the DIY shop woman less so.

Edited July 20, 2015 by MaeJoMTB

[chiang mai]

Folks shouldn't overdo the English language aspect, there's loads and loads of jobs in Thailand that require workers to have good English language skills. Similarly, all schools are required to teach English to their students, many don't get very far but some do and those numbers are growing, people are finally beginning to understand that speaking English is an essential attribute.

Which jobs are these? How would you know they weren't previously sex workers?

Every business that I do business with in Thailand has at least one person who speaks English fluently, if they don't they don't get my business - Thai Airways, True, UOB, CIMB, Kasikorn, RAM Hospital, Central Dept stores, AIS, Viryha Insurance, Toyota, the twenty or so restaurants that I eat in, Rimping, TOPS and so on and so on.

"How would I know...."? I wouldn't or couldn't but I do know that a Thai who speaks English is not automatically an ex sex worker, that link simply isn't there because there are so many other entirely plausible reasons why it is so.

[billphillips]

You must realise that everyone has a past. For most people, some of it is better not mentioned. Don't hold that against anyone. As for outright deceit or lies .... that's another story, accept it as a warning.

[Berkshire]

Folks shouldn't overdo the English language aspect, there's loads and loads of jobs in Thailand that require workers to have good English language skills. Similarly, all schools are required to teach English to their students, many don't get very far but some do and those numbers are growing, people are finally beginning to understand that speaking English is an essential attribute.

Which jobs are these? How would you know they weren't previously sex workers?

Every business that I do business with in Thailand has at least one person who speaks English fluently, if they don't they don't get my business - Thai Airways, True, UOB, CIMB, Kasikorn, RAM Hospital, Central Dept stores, AIS, Viryha Insurance, Toyota, the twenty or so restaurants that I eat in, Rimping, TOPS and so on and so on.

"How would I know...."? I wouldn't or couldn't but I do know that a Thai who speaks English is not automatically an ex sex worker, that link simply isn't there because there are so many other entirely plausible reasons why it is so.

Just because they can speak a bit of English in a customer service capacity doesn't mean that they can engage in a meaningful conversation in a relationship scenario. And I can guarantee you that these girls that you speak of, every single one would prefer to speak Thai. So they can be speaking some English at work, but socially, it's all Thai. MjMTB has got a point. Of course not all English-speaking Thai girls are hookers or farang-hunters. But a much higher percentage than the average non-English speaking Thai.

[Berkshire]

You must realise that everyone has a past. For most people, some of it is better not mentioned. Don't hold that against anyone. As for outright deceit or lies .... that's another story, accept it as a warning.

Sometimes, the past is a good indication of future behavior. Do you really think that a Thai girl who has been with several dozen guys, especially farang guys, i.e., easily falls into bed with random guys, is someone you can trust if you're not around? Well, maybe what you don't know....

As for the OP and his predicament, he should realize that Thai girls who have a history would be stupid to be completely honest about it all. Because if the OPs girl were to come clean, she knows that it wouldn't end there. Non-stop questions would follow. It's much easier, and safer, to simply deny everything. He may say that he would be ok with it all if she reveals, but she knows better.

[chiang mai]

Folks shouldn't overdo the English language aspect, there's loads and loads of jobs in Thailand that require workers to have good English language skills. Similarly, all schools are required to teach English to their students, many don't get very far but some do and those numbers are growing, people are finally beginning to understand that speaking English is an essential attribute.

Which jobs are these? How would you know they weren't previously sex workers?

Every business that I do business with in Thailand has at least one person who speaks English fluently, if they don't they don't get my business - Thai Airways, True, UOB, CIMB, Kasikorn, RAM Hospital, Central Dept stores, AIS, Viryha Insurance, Toyota, the twenty or so restaurants that I eat in, Rimping, TOPS and so on and so on.

"How would I know...."? I wouldn't or couldn't but I do know that a Thai who speaks English is not automatically an ex sex worker, that link simply isn't there because there are so many other entirely plausible reasons why it is so.

Just because they can speak a bit of English in a customer service capacity doesn't mean that they can engage in a meaningful conversation in a relationship scenario. And I can guarantee you that these girls that you speak of, every single one would prefer to speak Thai. So they can be speaking some English at work, but socially, it's all Thai. MjMTB has got a point. Of course not all English-speaking Thai girls are hookers or farang-hunters. But a much higher percentage than the average non-English speaking Thai.

The degree to which a person is proficient or not in English and their personal preferences for a particular language are irrelevant, the claim is that of a direct link between a Thai who speaks English and a history of employment in the sex industry, I say that is nonsense and that the link is casual at best.

Let's not get carried away here, the English speaking segment of the Thai sex market customer base is proportionately quite small when compared to the Thai, Asia, and Far Eastern segment equivalent. The ability to speak some English at least has a far better basis in tourism and every day business in Thailand than it does in the sex industry, after all, all doctors have to pass an English proficiency test before they can practice and I suggest not too many female doctors here are ex sex market employees!

.

[Happy Grumpy]

Better hurt a little now than a lot later.

The writing is clearly on the wall.

Move on.

[Squeegee]

I can live with whatever the sexual past is. But not lies that there was no need to tell.

Unfortunately the Thai Indoctrination System destroys their brains by the end of primary grades 3 to 4 so this logic is completely lost on them. They think they are saving face for themselves and for you.

Marriage: The Great Red Flag Magnifier - you thinks she tells lies now? Marry her and then see what happens.

[weegee]

I have seen the mess this will turn into for you....The guy was similar to you....He was helped to get out of Thailand, before he ended up in a loony bin here..

Poor bugger is till suffering as far as i know....AND, he lost his house, Car, and anything he couldnt carry on the plane he left on...But he is at least in his home country to get himself back together....Thats what can happen here to anyone who doesnt take time to work out the place before they commit.

Think hard OP....Thats my advice.

[krisb]

Maybe you should run a vote?

This way it makes it clearer for you to see what we all decided for you.

[ravip]

I have lived in & around S.E.Asia since 1981.

I have seen most of the scams etc, but the day I wake up & think

I know it all will be the day Im in trouble. There are always new scams around.

If she is still on a dating site you register under a different name & a

picture of another man then contact her and show some interest in her

you may just get a shock of what she says & does.

A couple of old sayings around Asia are.

If it walks & talks like a Duck then it most likely is a Duck.

You can take the girl out of the bar but you cant take

the bar out of the girl.

One warning sign is Does she speak English?

If you are new to Asia one bit of advice I can give you is.

Keep your guard up 25 hours a day.

Now your reply may be "You dont understand this is different"

You seem to be the absolute expert on Asia!

Were you born in Asia?

Have you EVER experienced the "other side" of the world?

[willyumiii]

I have met many very nice and very good "Thai Massage Therapist" in Ao Nang.

Why not post her name and a photo.

Some of us may know her well.

[MaeJoMTB]

Let's not get carried away here, the English speaking segment of the Thai sex market customer base is proportionately quite small when compared to the Thai, Asia, and Far Eastern segment equivalent. The ability to speak some English at least has a far better basis in tourism and every day business in Thailand than it does in the sex industry, after all, all doctors have to pass an English proficiency test before they can practice and I suggest not too many female doctors here are ex sex market employees!

.

And the last time you had a casual (non-medical) conversation in English with an attractive female Thai doctor was .......... ?

This thread is about Thai women an old foreigner can date, not some fantasy educated Thai woman who reluctantly speaks a few words of English with you because they are selling you something (not themselves).

Edited July 20, 2015 by MaeJoMTB

[chiang mai]

Let's not get carried away here, the English speaking segment of the Thai sex market customer base is proportionately quite small when compared to the Thai, Asia, and Far Eastern segment equivalent. The ability to speak some English at least has a far better basis in tourism and every day business in Thailand than it does in the sex industry, after all, all doctors have to pass an English proficiency test before they can practice and I suggest not too many female doctors here are ex sex market employees!

.

And the last time you had a casual (non-medical) conversation in English with an attractive female Thai doctor was .......... ?

This thread is about Thai women an old foreigner can date, not some fantasy educated Thai woman who reluctantly speaks a few words of English with you because they are selling you something (not themselves).

A couple of years ago I put together, with the help of forum members, the pinned list of doctors in the Chiang Mai forum. As part of that work I met loads of doctors at a whole host of hospitals, and made many good friends, many of which we socialize with today, two of whom live nearby. In direct answer to your question, three days ago with a female doctor and yesterday with a Thai female teacher who is a near neighbor and who stops by to socialize and converse in English.

BTW the thread is not about old foreigners, the OP is only 57 as I recall hence logical his potential age group is what, 30 to 50 I would guess.

[MaeJoMTB]

BTW the thread is not about old foreigners, the OP is only 57 as I recall hence logical his potential age group is what, 30 to 50 I would guess.

45 is old.

57 would be a few years from deaths door.

A 57 year old man having a normal relationship would be dating women aged 52-62.

Any woman under 50 agreeing to date a guy that old would be an obvious gold-digger.

Edited July 20, 2015 by MaeJoMTB

[chiang mai]

BTW the thread is not about old foreigners, the OP is only 57 as I recall hence logical his potential age group is what, 30 to 50 I would guess.

45 is old.

57 would be a few years from deaths door.

A 57 year old man having a normal relationship would be dating women aged 52-62.

Any woman under 50 agreeing to date a guy that old would be an obvious gold-digger.

http://www.ranker.com/list/famous-men-who-married-much-younger-women/celebrity-lists

Edited July 20, 2015 by chiang mai

[Cypress Hill]

BTW the thread is not about old foreigners, the OP is only 57 as I recall hence logical his potential age group is what, 30 to 50 I would guess.

45 is old.

57 would be a few years from deaths door.

A 57 year old man having a normal relationship would be dating women aged 52-62.

Any woman under 50 agreeing to date a guy that old would be an obvious gold-digger.

You don't half talk crap

45 is only old if you've let yourself go. No surprise that most 45 year olds here have done exactly that because they think the only thing they have to work on is having enough money to pay their way into a woman's pants

Guys who choose not to use hookers - like myself - make a conscious decision to take care of themselves and, done correctly, can look far younger than they are especially if they have hair.

You're 60+ - is your wife a gold-digger, then?

[Berkshire]

Let's not get carried away here, the English speaking segment of the Thai sex market customer base is proportionately quite small when compared to the Thai, Asia, and Far Eastern segment equivalent. The ability to speak some English at least has a far better basis in tourism and every day business in Thailand than it does in the sex industry, after all, all doctors have to pass an English proficiency test before they can practice and I suggest not too many female doctors here are ex sex market employees!

.

And the last time you had a casual (non-medical) conversation in English with an attractive female Thai doctor was .......... ?

This thread is about Thai women an old foreigner can date, not some fantasy educated Thai woman who reluctantly speaks a few words of English with you because they are selling you something (not themselves).

A couple of years ago I put together, with the help of forum members, the pinned list of doctors in the Chiang Mai forum. As part of that work I met loads of doctors at a whole host of hospitals, and made many good friends, many of which we socialize with today, two of whom live nearby. In direct answer to your question, three days ago with a female doctor and yesterday with a Thai female teacher who is a near neighbor and who stops by to socialize and converse in English.

BTW the thread is not about old foreigners, the OP is only 57 as I recall hence logical his potential age group is what, 30 to 50 I would guess.

I have met quite a few really educated Thai females, PhDs and MDs, who were educated in the west. They speak near fluent English. Most were average to above average in looks, but a couple were really attractive. In every case, I mean 100%, they were with Thai men. So we should focus on English-speaking women who are accessible to farangs. Perhaps then, you may understand that as strange as it sounds, a non-English speaking Thai female is preferred over an English speaking one...in Thailand, most of the time. Nothing to do with education whatsoever. Only English proficiency.

[Cypress Hill]

BTW the thread is not about old foreigners, the OP is only 57 as I recall hence logical his potential age group is what, 30 to 50 I would guess.

45 is old.

57 would be a few years from deaths door.

A 57 year old man having a normal relationship would be dating women aged 52-62.

Any woman under 50 agreeing to date a guy that old would be an obvious gold-digger.

http://www.ranker.com/list/famous-men-who-married-much-younger-women/celebrity-lists

Oh don't be ridiculous.

You're no celebrity, are you?

Talk about nuking your own argument

[chiang mai]

BTW the thread is not about old foreigners, the OP is only 57 as I recall hence logical his potential age group is what, 30 to 50 I would guess.

45 is old.

57 would be a few years from deaths door.

A 57 year old man having a normal relationship would be dating women aged 52-62.

Any woman under 50 agreeing to date a guy that old would be an obvious gold-digger.

http://www.ranker.com/list/famous-men-who-married-much-younger-women/celebrity-lists

Oh don't be ridiculous.

You're no celebrity, are you ?

Talk about nuking your own argument

Perhaps about as ridiculous as the prior argument that most English speaking Thai females are ex or current sex workers perhaps!