Domesticating a Thai child.

[dotpoom]

I once knew an Autistic child who displayed the same characteristics..???

[MyFriend You]

Where has the Mother been these past ten years, neglecting her child is where she has been - probably working the bars - I see she only brought her into her life with her Fuhlung husband when it became known he may have to return to his country of origin.

I feel sorry for the child, she doesn't know any better, bur kids are rsiliant, as long as you don't punish them for 'not knowing what is right or wrong'

[Petchou]

Typical of people who think their ancestors were born with fork and knife in hands.

This sounds totally full of prejudices and misunderstanding or ignorance.

[Transporter]

Swap her bin for a bed pan and that problem is solved.

I am sure over the next few months in her new environment and with all your care and attention she quickly adjust naturally.

Make sure she has access to what all the other ten year old girls are wearing and doing and she will follow.

Find friends her age to for her to copy.

I think it will be easier than you think.

[Tassie Norm]

First, what is a bin? Second, knives are used for preparing the food not eating the food. Me thinks you exagerate. Spelt wrong but you understand.

You say farm dwelling as if it is repulsive. Get over yourself. She's used to eating many meals without utensils. Can't take long to show her how the very proper farang wants her to eat.

Reckon you've spent too much time at the helm - and not with family. I'm annoyed with myself for even responding to such ignorance. Alas, I feel better.

[Jonathon]

"Can’t use a knife.

Holds cutlery (spoon, fork) in her fist like a dagger."

Sounds familiar. Eats like an animal too, exceptionally lazy, seems totally unable (or unwilling) to learn.

I guess being brought up by the grandparents during early years is the problem. Never mind, up to him / her. No concept that kids are unable to decide how to behave nor choose what to learn.

I've been trying for 2+ years now. Good luck!

[frank0424]

Keep in mind the OP hasn't seen any of this behaviour. He's speaking on behalf of a friend as so many posters seem to do. Im always sceptical about such posts.

[EmptyHead]

Yeah, being raise by the grandparents never seems to be good for some reason, though it is all too common.

The idea is that the parents can work and send money home. That was vaild many years ago when most of Isaan had little work. Nowadyas though you don't have to travel too far to get minimum wage and most people can do it from their hometown and still be parents, yet they do the old fashioned thing by going to Bangkok for not much more than they could make (nowadays) in their hometown. Nobody questions it.

I live just outside a large Isaan city. Lots of minimum wage jobs available, tonnes of development, yet two of my inlaws fled to Bangkok for work not long after discovering the horrors of parenting becoming parents. Their two kids are raise by the grandmother and the great grandmother, while they seem to be having a ball in BKK, or at least their Facebook shows such. The great grandmother is over 70 and hasn't stopped raising kids all her life, most of them not hers of course.

The oldest boy is the boss, he chooses whether or not he will go to school. He is severly undergrown. He only eats sweets and milk. He has never had a diet of real food.

This is a big problem in what we are talking about here and not really neccessary nowadays, but the lazy easy option is still available for new parents.

[Kevbo]

Come to think of it I have a mate who walks around half naked when he is in Thailand, licks his knife too, drinks a lot and swears too much, but he's a savage, (not like me at all)

[backstairs]

I have found children who started life in the village with GrandMom very well behaved and respectful. There are many good things to learn in the village. Eating, dressing and peeing can all be learnt by seeing others. Well some of that with girls in a school that is westernised. Kids like to fit in. She will copy. She needs a hug and a help. She should be taken nowhere near a shrink. ANd as for eating incorrectly; have you looked around? I hear the Queen of England eats rather fast.

[mikiea]

She is God dam'n a human being and not a dog...may you reconsider your choice of words...

wa wawa wa wa

[mikiea]

She is God dam'n a human being and not a dog...may you reconsider your choice of words...

She goes to the toilet in a bin in the bedroom... As unkind as inhumane as the choice of words may seem - Domestication is correct.

Got your point but I think you could express the situation more gently...

again........wawa wawa wawawa cwawa

[mikiea]

She is God dam'n a human being and not a dog...may you reconsider your choice of words...

She goes to the toilet in a bin in the bedroom... As unkind as inhumane as the choice of words may seem - Domestication is correct.

Got your point but I think you could express the situation more gently...

again..............wawawa wawawa

[Crazy chef 1]

She is God dam'n a human being and not a dog...may you reconsider your choice of words...

She goes to the toilet in a bin in the bedroom... As unkind as inhumane as the choice of words may seem - Domestication is correct.

Got your point but I think you could express the situation more gently...

again..............wawawa wawawa

May you can enlighten us what you're trying to express...or just simple trolling???

[earthpig]

Your friend is missing the point. The problem is not the child.

The real problem instead will be his wife. She grew up in the same house and was raised by the same kwai as her daughter, right?

What are the odds that the husband will find his wife's behavior to be acceptable once he rejoins his society with her? Or that she will be happy? Not impossible, but only a fool would take those odds.

Do your friend a huge favor. Tell him to stay in Thailand.

Or get on with his life.

[oxo1947]

I wouldn't worry about in HG........I don't think its anything that a few fatal beatings wouldn't solve..........

Edited August 15, 2015 by oxo1947

[pach16]

if she does bad not give her money she want money for candy toys phone top up for phone,she do what she told to can then give her money not much,she can learn,if not you tell her you will tell everyone in her school she pee in bin.

[thehelmsman]

Again what is a bin?

[stoneyboy]

Again what is a bin?

[nithisa78]

I remember a child like this in my son's kindergarten.

It took a few years but the teacher really worked hard with him and spent a lot more time on him than the others.

Now, he is 11 years old an totally normal.

I'd say it took 5 years minimum.

I would venture to guess it is going to take a special teacher who really cares.

As well as you and her Mom at home.

Gonna take lots of love.

I also think school would be important because she would see how others act, and eat, and go to the bathroom, etc.

Good luck.

I suspect you're a good man, but I never would have used that word.

Having been through this, what this poster says in the last sentence is the solution. I'm sure a lot of love is already there.

It is also doubtful because, I KNOW this is a beautiful child. That her new playmates, etc. They will not judge her. She will have so much to teach and share with them.

Many who may not have been more than 50 klicks from home.

God is with you. That's all the luck you will need.

Baraka Bashad

do·mes·ti·cate

/dəˈmestəˌkāt/

verb

synonyms: tame, tamed, pet, domestic, trained

1. tame (an animal) and keep it as a pet or for farm produce.

Edited August 15, 2015 by nithisa78

[nithisa78]

if she does bad not give her money she want money for candy toys phone top up for phone,she do what she told to can then give her money not much,she can learn,if not you tell her you will tell everyone in her school she pee in bin.

Wow, TV censors me and suspends me from posting, when I post a quote from a proven Master and they let this go through.

Threatening to humilate the child is not parenting.

What planet is this?

[little mary sunshine]

A couple of years at a finishing school in

Switzerland should help!!

[northernjohn]

I think yor mate should consult some experts/ child psychologist how to proceed ...the case is quite difficult.

May you can keep us updated how the process is because I think this case is not unique here...

It is not unique here. A friend of mine married a Thai lady with a 6 year old son who had been raised in Issan by his Grand parents. Not sure of every thing he did but for hygiene he made him take a bath every day. At first he would force the kid into it by taking one with him and washing him. Eventually the boy learned that he was going to take one every day like it or not. So he started doing it himself. I believe he would actually cut his food for him and hold his hands on the utincils until the boy learned to do it himself. He was not allowed to eat with his hands. Patience and tolerance were the main key.

Not sure of how he broke the boy of every thing but he did use love, patience and tolerance. It paid off in less than a year.

[thehelmsman]

Again what is a bin?

ImageUploadedByThaivisa Connect1439656617.839801.jpg

aahahaa only hope she's checking for paper money first

[thehelmsman]

I think yor mate should consult some experts/ child psychologist how to proceed ...the case is quite difficult.

May you can keep us updated how the process is because I think this case is not unique here...

It is not unique here. A friend of mine married a Thai lady with a 6 year old son who had been raised in Issan by his Grand parents. Not sure of every thing he did but for hygiene he made him take a bath every day. At first he would force the kid into it by taking one with him and washing him. Eventually the boy learned that he was going to take one every day like it or not. So he started doing it himself. I believe he would actually cut his food for him and hold his hands on the utincils until the boy learned to do it himself. He was not allowed to eat with his hands. Patience and tolerance were the main key.

Not sure of how he broke the boy of every thing but he did use love, patience and tolerance. It paid off in less than a year.

First, never seen a bath tub in any house in Issan. Showers only. Secondly if he's taking a bath with a 6 yr. old boy <deleted>

Been staying in Issan for 8 yrs and I've never used a knife to eat with. The problems aren't with the kid, theyre with the farang.

[itchyscratchy]

I am an infrequent contributor to TV, however this topic caught my interest. Not withstanding that the original poster may be trolling, I make the following observation based on personal experience as a grandfather of 2, one Thai,and 1 Thai/Aussie. Our eldest grandson who is now 10 came into our lives when he was 3 and was as wild as a march hare. He had been spoilt in an Issan village by the extended village community along with his grand parents. The home was full of love for the boy and at the time l felt the pain of the grandparents as their daughter migrated to Australia with her son. The initial 3-4 years were straining on all concerned as the little one adjusted to the presence of a strange male role model, coping with a language barrier and the adjustment to western living standards The geographic upheaval and sense of loss with the absence of Thai grandparents and village community led to long periods of sullenness and rebellion. However, with caring parents and the arrival of a little brother the eldest boy has transformed into a devoted and nurturing brother who is ever watchful of his younger brother's carefree demeanour.

I give this background to assure anyone who may be embarking on such a life changing experience, that with the best of intentions and a willingness to understand and adjust your own thinking to accommodate the merging of cultures, the result can be fantastic.

I have spoken to my Thai daughter-in-law about the circumstances described in the OP and her response was as follows. In Issan, when Thai couples choose to separate and children are involved, the father normally takes the girls as they represent value as far as a future Sin Sod is concerned and the boy stays with the mother. Is this a widely held view?

In closing, l wish any couple considering the blending of cultures with children involved all the best, it can be challenging, but with the best of intentions and application the future can be filled with great joy.

PS. I am taking the grandson's fishing today, a lot of noise, a lot of splashing in the water, changing hooks etc, however the look of pleasure on their faces is priceless for me.

[johninbkk]

Poor little thing.

I'd be getting rid of the Thai TV first.

Introduce her to family styled movies.

Remember, she only acts as she observes others.

[jacko45k]

First, what is a bin? Second, knives are used for preparing the food not eating the food. Me thinks you exagerate. Spelt wrong but you understand.

You say farm dwelling as if it is repulsive. Get over yourself. She's used to eating many meals without utensils. Can't take long to show her how the very proper farang wants her to eat.

After he has done with the kid perhaps he could train you too!

[roamer]

I think yor mate should consult some experts/ child psychologist how to proceed ...the case is quite difficult.

May you can keep us updated how the process is because I think this case is not unique here...

It is not unique here. A friend of mine married a Thai lady with a 6 year old son who had been raised in Issan by his Grand parents. Not sure of every thing he did but for hygiene he made him take a bath every day. At first he would force the kid into it by taking one with him and washing him. Eventually the boy learned that he was going to take one every day like it or not. So he started doing it himself. I believe he would actually cut his food for him and hold his hands on the utincils until the boy learned to do it himself. He was not allowed to eat with his hands. Patience and tolerance were the main key.

Not sure of how he broke the boy of every thing but he did use love, patience and tolerance. It paid off in less than a year.

First, never seen a bath tub in any house in Issan. Showers only. Secondly if he's taking a bath with a 6 yr. old boy <deleted>

Been staying in Issan for 8 yrs and I've never used a knife to eat with. The problems aren't with the kid, theyre with the farang.

Actually the problems are yours. He never said this took place in Issan, only that the child was raised there. You can get along without a knife in Issan, once again , he's not talking about Issan. As for taking a bath with your six year old son, or stepson,

it depends upon the culture where you are living, and the circumstances, how do you know mum wasn't there as well ?

[soihok]

Still no reply or comment from the OP.

Troll indeed