My thai girlfriend - is she cheating on me?

[Rimmer]

A post in French has been removed:

English is the only acceptable language anywhere on ThaiVisa including Classifieds, except within the Thai language forum, where of course using Thai is allowed.

[Patsycat]

What the hell is wrong with sleeping with a guy on the first night?

I've done it. It felt good to continue the evening. And we stayed together for six years. He must have done something good!!

[Patsycat]

I didnt even need to read the whole thing, just the first bit, any girl that sleeps with you on the first night = DO NOT MARRY THIS PERSON

That might be your criteria.

Mine has always been - Don't date anyone unless they sleep with you the same night you meet them.

Why waste time and money 'dating' someone only to later find out they have an ugly tattoo, stretch marks, saggy tits, ugly nipples or any other thing that once you discover it turns you off completely?

Edited to add this....

All this crap some people are spouting about "a good Thai girl won't sleep with you right away" is bull, why the hell shouldn't a young woman want to have sex just as much as a man?

What makes her a 'good girl' just because she doesn't want to have sex right away?

I'd be more worried if she didn't because why would you want a girl who doesn't want to shag all the time?

The OP probably hasn't had too many super hot girls, I've met several young guys from Europe who have very strange traditional moral values and find the free and easy attitude to sex here in Bangkok makes them feel uncomfortable.

Or for the woman to find out his wibbly wobbly bits aren't exacty up to par. Or he has a horrible hair problem all over his back, or he piddles in the bed....

It can go two ways...

[thrilled]

Thailand women aren't as conservative as they were 10-20 years ago.Maybe the best thing would have been to have got seperate rooms or beds til you got to know each other better.Her thinking maybe if she didn't jump your bones right away you would have

Found someone who would.She's working,has A car.A place to live.She's not broke.She looks good.

I would just go with the flo.If she's good to you then go from there.Just take it 1 day at A time.

[connda]

If you have to ask, then, probably so. Why care. It's a buyers market.

[SiSePuede419]

"I've looked at some pictures on her Facebook page again last night and found some of a 5-star Hotelroom on Sukhumvit Road back in 2013"

That just means she's dated Thai guys. Thai guys always stay in expensive hotel rooms, because they believe everyone will think they are rich.

Also, she could have dated "Digital Nomads". They are also into spending money on expensive hotel rooms, fancy motorbikes and overpriced Farang food restaurants because they think they are " rich", too.

555+

Edited September 12, 2015 by SiSePuede419

[juice777]

Are we still banging on about this, I do not know if your gf is chating on u, I don't think that any Thai lady who sleeps with u on the first date is bad, but any girl who turns up with a packed bag to move in with u because she met u in person is a nutter

[mrfaroukh]

Do you really expect everyone read such a long story?????? You should have made it short and effective. May be she is tired of you talking.

[SOTIRIOS]

...rule of thumb....nothing she has told you is true...

.....and you cannot verify any of it...and she knows it...

...your senses are right on...but you want to believe her....

..she is setting you up....

...maybe go get tested at the clinic too if you had unprotected sex......

[laislica]

You have got it bad OP, I would get the strength to walk away now, you will never be happy with all these things going though your head.

Does not look like your a troll with the time it must have taken you to post all that, but nobody but yourself can answer your questions

Imdeed.

@OP, It's free and I suggest you read a copy of Stephen Leathers book Private Dancer.

I Googled it and opened a PDF here http://www.pattayapages.com/girls/images/private-dancer.pdf

Edited September 12, 2015 by laislica

[rocketboybkk]

Private Dancer, read it @2003/4

It mirrors my mates life at that time. Classic story that many have succumbed too

He lost everything & was played like a game

All of us around was telling him but the heart ruled the head.

Silly people

Open your mind as some people say

There's a reason you have these thoughts, you're probably spot on

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[Fabricus]

I didnt even need to read the whole thing, just the first bit, any girl that sleeps with you on the first night = DO NOT MARRY THIS PERSON

That might be your criteria.

Mine has always been - Don't date anyone unless they sleep with you the same night you meet them.

Why waste time and money 'dating' someone only to later find out they have an ugly tattoo, stretch marks, saggy tits, ugly nipples or any other thing that once you discover it turns you off completely?

Life. In a nutshell.

Really superb post.

[Fabricus]

Sex is a commodity in Thailand. They all want money but have different ways of going about getting it. Some just work as hookers and get paid by the night, others will be with you all the time but will eventually have some problem for which they need money and guess who they will ask!!?? Others, like my ex-wife will go the ultimate route and marry a guy, then go about draining everything from him. One thing is for sure, they ll want a guy to TAKE CARE of them. The more you spend on them the more you love them is their reasoning.

She probably still has her Thai boyfriend, and is milking as many dumb and gullible Farang as she can, ...you included. They love money, and will do anything to get it, .. but they seldom ever fall in love themselves. You are her latest mark.

Enjoy your time with Thai women, but keep your valubles safe and watch what you drink!, .... and DO NOT fall in love!! It is a one way street

Another superb post.

[kwaione]

Your explanation should answer your question.. Your needing re-assurance.. She most likely enjoys multiple partners more than what she can get monetary wise... I hope things work out for your best interests

[fish fingers]

If you are jealous, Thailand may not even be the right place for you to deal with beautiful women....decent or not.

V true. And thai women can bring jealousy out in a guy like no other ..!

About sleeping on the first date, I wouldn't completely count a girl out for doing that. Thai girls are choosy but in my experience, having met for a coffee or lunch first - accepting a following date 95% chance will lead to the bedroom. I'm not trying to make out thai women are sluts, far from it. The dating game is quite different to Europe..

IMO calling you her boyfriend on FB is usually a good sign. But please don't be a statistic or a victim in Thailand. Thai women hate guys playing the victim, they invariably love to torture them when it gets to that stage. And its deserved to be honest.

[laislica]

Private Dancer, read it @2003/4

It mirrors my mates life at that time. Classic story that many have succumbed too

He lost everything & was played like a game

All of us around was telling him but the heart ruled the head.

Silly people

Open your mind as some people say

There's a reason you have these thoughts, you're probably spot on

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Not quite so.

As you said, he followed his small head, not the thinking one.

He was not played. He decided to walk that path - against advice from friends.

OP Says in reply to a post that warns him " Do not fall in love"

with :-

"I think I already have"

Then there is no one to blame but himself!!!

[frank0424]

Your English is VERY good for someone who comes from France....

But getting back to the girl, it sounds like she was a virgin til she met you... Nyuk! Nyuk!

[torpedo1970]

If you have to Ask......

Then you already know the answer...

[torpedo1970]

Double post

Edited September 12, 2015 by torpedo1970

[ToddinChonburi]

First take your age, divide by 2 then add 7 you should be looking for between 18 and 25 this is your best range for success.

Good education , Bachelor or master degree

Non smoker Non drinker

Has a job and ability to support herself.

A good Thai women has pride and will never ask you for money

She will Wah when passing a temple

Now what do you really want ? sounds like you have met the good time girl. Women in there 30's are considered old and only Thai men in there 50s and 60s will date them or Farangs. She goes missing on the weekends ? yes to be with her married boy friend who is only available then.

Women are women all over the world, they have a great side and a bad side, you need to find the one that you can tolerate her bad side. Would you tolerate this from a girl in your own country ?

The nice thing about Thailand is you can date and marry a girl half your age and yes you can be a man !!!!

Try Thaicupid.com and learn from your mistakes. Thailand is like a candy store, come to the store and pick out your candy. Have fun doing it. Good luck!!!

[ToddinChonburi]

Sex is a commodity in Thailand. They all want money but have different ways of going about getting it. Some just work as hookers and get paid by the night, others will be with you all the time but will eventually have some problem for which they need money and guess who they will ask!!?? Others, like my ex-wife will go the ultimate route and marry a guy, then go about draining everything from him. One thing is for sure, they ll want a guy to TAKE CARE of them. The more you spend on them the more you love them is their reasoning.

She probably still has her Thai boyfriend, and is milking as many dumb and gullible Farang as she can, ...you included. They love money, and will do anything to get it, .. but they seldom ever fall in love themselves. You are her latest mark.

Enjoy your time with Thai women, but keep your valubles safe and watch what you drink!, .... and DO NOT fall in love!! It is a one way street

Another superb post.

I agree. Nice post.

[micmichd]

Guess what she might think about you.
You use dating sites, and then travel 18,000 km or more to meet a chick. You might have dozens of French chicks going.
You come to Thailand and want to <deleted> her, she does you the favour, and you blame her for that.
Do you think she is your property now? She is not, she's Thai (=free) She can be your partner, but first you should commit yourself. Learn about her culture, and speak with her. Or let her go.

[Jimbo2014]

Dude - seriously you have to be careful with taking advice from this forum. Alot of these guys hang out in expat scenes, which in any country attract a certain type of person that may prey on foreigners. Many of the expats are huge hypocrites. They devalue women that sleep with them on the first date but they themselves dont hesitate to shag anything that moves. They devalue women that date or cheat but they themselves do so with incredible regularity.

Many of the views expressed in the comments section do not align with my own experiences in Thailand and Asia in general and Ive been living here for upwards of 20 years. Your in a long distance relationship. They are frustrating at the best of times and for any nationality. There are many myths propagated in this forum. Middle class thai girls are not so different to western women. Yes if you are hansom and they are not a virgin many will sleep with you on the first or second date. No they dont generally view sex as a commodity but like any society there is a portion that do. Youth and beauty are seen as assets for a woman as in any society and Asian woman can be conscious of the limited life cycle of both.

Honestly if you dont show solid commitment to an asian woman - or any woman - especially one in her 30s, then you cant expect a solid commitment back. She will be very aware that the clock is ticking. A solid commitment in Asia means a ceremony to recognise your relationship to family and Buddha and it means financial and lifestyle links. Yes you may be unfortunate to have landed a bad egg. She may be scamming you and 10 other guys. It happens. There are some wily women - this occurs in any country and is not unique to Thailand. Try your luck with any country in the low income status.

The best way to limit your risk is to get your head out of the love mode and look at her objectively. Is she placing demands for money, is her family sober, hard working and generally honest, does she give you good advice with money, lifestyle etc.. Does she care about you and your health? These are positive attributes that will help in a long term relationship. The other thing you have to do if you are serious is make a commitment and remove the distance in the relationship. Else in her mind you are likely just dating - which is a difference here.

[geronimo]

Do you really think this woman has never been with a man before she met you???

Who cares about her past, if it feels good, go with it, if it doesn't then move on. Jeesh some folks really have issues!!!!!

[Berkshire]

I didnt even need to read the whole thing, just the first bit, any girl that sleeps with you on the first night = DO NOT MARRY THIS PERSON

That might be your criteria.

Mine has always been - Don't date anyone unless they sleep with you the same night you meet them.

Why waste time and money 'dating' someone only to later find out they have an ugly tattoo, stretch marks, saggy tits, ugly nipples or any other thing that once you discover it turns you off completely?

Edited to add this....

All this crap some people are spouting about "a good Thai girl won't sleep with you right away" is bull, why the hell shouldn't a young woman want to have sex just as much as a man?

What makes her a 'good girl' just because she doesn't want to have sex right away?

I'd be more worried if she didn't because why would you want a girl who doesn't want to shag all the time?

The OP probably hasn't had too many super hot girls, I've met several young guys from Europe who have very strange traditional moral values and find the free and easy attitude to sex here in Bangkok makes them feel uncomfortable.

So a "good girl" in your mind is a Thai girl who'll sleep with you immediately? What's your idea of a not-so-good-girl?

The correct assumption to make is if a girl will sleep with you on the first date, she's done it before and will pretty much do it with any guy on the first date. I'm sure there are guys out there (read YOU) who are convinced how special they are or that they're "different." That only shows how gullible they are. If your idea of the perfect wife is someone who'll drop her skirt on a whim, by all means, go for it. But giving this advice to unsuspecting farangs is gross negligence.

[JMWPACIFIC]

If it walks like a duck and talks like a duck, well, you know the rest.

That said, not sure why she is hanging onto you if there truly has been no exchange of money during the time you've known her. Maybe that's the setup for the sting? And who moves in and sleeps with someone when first meeting?

[micmichd]

If it walks like a duck and talks like a duck, well, you know the rest.

That said, not sure why she is hanging onto you if there truly has been no exchange of money during the time you've known her. Maybe that's the setup for the sting? And who moves in and sleeps with someone when first meeting?

Me.

Sex is fun, and it's good for your health (mental and physical)

[AlexRRR]

Took you longer to write this then for her to drop her panties! Give her a penis and you have everything covered.

Unless Dennis123 gets there first!!:-

About once a month i screw someone while his 50+ year old boyfriend is taking a nap at the hotel after a day beach, each month a different one, this could actually be a weekly thing but I tamed down a bit after 3 years here.

Last week I did someone a day before his farang came, he told me had to pick up a friend from the airport, I didn't think that would be his boyfriend, but the next day I saw photos on Facebook appear, nothing wrong with that, the day his boyfriend left to go home I did him again. Once I even ruined someone's relationship cause the farang was supicious and checked his Skype where he was happily chatting with me the day before his farang arrived, other.

This stuff is oh so common, and definitely not exceptional in any way. I can't even have a relationship anymore as I simply know to much and've seen too much, way too suspicious for a very good reason.

I do like to add that there are rare exceptions but only when the farang is actually a good looking young guy that supports them pretty well. However now I just found out that the boy in question lives in Pattaya Naklua instead of in Kamphaeng Phet as he makes me believe on Facebook, his friend told me, doesn't work in a bar though but I bet he has a Thai boyfriend in Naklua so even that exception likely cheats lol.

You know which long term relationships seem to work out here in the Pattaya/Jomtien area? A random farang with an ugly Thai boyfriend, and both having their own group of friends and from what I can see they only share a bed and that's it. If that's even the case, numerous of those farang are cheating on their ugly Thai boyfriend, kind of the opposite is true here Well, likely cheating with permission.

Can't count the times that I got involved with someone for more than a week and then they told me that if I wanted to have sex with other boys it would be ok, I just wasn't allowed to fall in love with them, very efficient way for them to get rid of me.

The original post is of a heterosexual relationship and the Thai girl holds down a 9 to 5 normal job, gay and male to male and particular if there rent boys or work in the seedy night life isn't comparable, in fact your description of your love life would put a lot of people off... The male brain even if it's a lady boy works far differently to a female, since your obviously gay I doubt you had any real experience with a straight female in the love game.

For the guys who are straight and advise to dump her, you really don't know women and Thai ones at all...its been a one sided rant from an insecure and inexperienced guy, he may be right and me may wrong or a bit of both...

It's very easy to read into a situation something that is pure fantasy, just chill and get yourself right first and in the end if you can't trust someone don't go there.

[JHolmesJr]

So what if she's sleeping around?

Talk to her thai style....tell her she can do what she likes outside....but to use a condom....and not to embarrass you publicly.

Meanwhile, you also can go and do what you like, while protecting her from potential stds.

Treat it like an open relationship.

Whatever you do DO NOT MARRY.

Disclaimer: The above advice could be shit.

[SantiSuk]

Girls who speak vernacular English and say they learnt it at school (in Isaan? fer gawds sake ). No other signs needed - stone cold serial falang shagger