How to stay in the good books with YOUR Thai lady

[Kenny202]

We communicate. We have an open and loving relationship, and will continue to do so until I pop my clogs. She is a poor farm girl who has worked in several Asian countries to support her two children, and is fluent in several languages, including English. Her understanding of events is not insular to Thailand, and she can hold her own in most situations.

A very special woman, IMO, and not a stereotype that has been the focus of many posters on here.

sounds like a dream. What is an OPEN relationship?

[stephenterry]

We communicate. We have an open and loving relationship, and will continue to do so until I pop my clogs. She is a poor farm girl who has worked in several Asian countries to support her two children, and is fluent in several languages, including English. Her understanding of events is not insular to Thailand, and she can hold her own in most situations.

A very special woman, IMO, and not a stereotype that has been the focus of many posters on here.

sounds like a dream. What is an OPEN relationship?

True.

[i claudius]

How to stay in her good books? wow ,treat her just like you would a wife no matter where she is from ,as your lover ,your friend ,your partner in life , it ain't rocket science .

[Kenny202]

How to stay in her good books? wow ,treat her just like you would a wife no matter where she is from ,as your lover ,your friend ,your partner in life , it ain't rocket science .

it's very clear to me the answer lies in the selection of partner we all have made. Lower socio economic education status (by a long way) = misery

[melloyello]

We communicate. We have an open and loving relationship, and will continue to do so until I pop my clogs. She is a poor farm girl who has worked in several Asian countries to support her two children, and is fluent in several languages, including English. Her understanding of events is not insular to Thailand, and she can hold her own in most situations.

A very special woman, IMO, and not a stereotype that has been the focus of many posters on here.

[soc]

l cannot give an impartial answer, as l love women & so would be very biased in their favour.

And yes, l have been burned multiple times(in a fair few different countries, lol!) but am a sucker for a pretty face.

Even my (female) cat has me wrapped around her furry paw!

Ha ha

[Cpkt8]

Though already husband and wife for years, my husband treated me with much respect and gentlemanly. Like boyfriend and girlfriend on dates. He would open door for me, gave fashion ideas (his taste was so much better), bothered to excuse himself to fart elsewhere, make sure I had finished what I wanted to say then he would reply back, always made sure he didn't look untidy, etc. So many many more good points. A perfect husband, to me. And I treated him back the same he treated me.

But I'm no Thai lady.

[MauiSteveBKK]

It Works For Me ..... WHEN ......

Whenever I feel I "need" to talk to my Thai wife about something, I now

wait a day or two.

The feeling hopefully passes.

We carry on well without me bringing up something.

We have problems when "I" think I need to give a lot of details about something.

It's often better --- to NOT say anything than to say something.

We as men get into trouble with our mouths.

[Ooladolla]

Tell her your money has run out...see how much she loves you after you say that. If she still wants to stay with you, you have a true loving relationship. Otherwise...money is the key to happiness. After all, those T shirts with the slogan ' NO MONEY NO HONEY' have been around a longggggggg time.

[NoshowJones]

Great topic this, Some posters may think there is too much topics about Thai women.

Definitely not the case, Thai wifes and G/Fs are the main reason about how happy or

not you enjoy living in Thailand.

Looking forward to the posts on this.

[SoiBiker]

Thai wifes and G/Fs are the main reason about how happy or

not you enjoy living in Thailand.

It seems to me that mostly those without are happier.

Admittedly that's just based on what I read here compared to people I know in real life, so it may not be that scientific.

Edited November 24, 2015 by SoiBiker

[NoshowJones]

Accept that with most Thai women you can not carry on a sensible conversation. Further if you ask a yes or no question you get a 15 minute answer that does not answer your question. Do not try to discuss current events and don't discuss anything outside of Thailand. You are not going to have any intellectual enjoyment from a conversation. BETTER TO KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT AND SUCK IT UP! A CLOSED MOUTH CAN NOT START AN ARGUMENT.

"you get a 15 minute answer that does not answer your question", and sometimes you have a long wait for that answer.

That does not apply only to Thai wifes and G/Fs, ask for the price of something in a shop, you will not get an immediate answer.

Ask about some service you require which only needs a yes/no answer, and there will be a long discussion with another member of staff.

[NoshowJones]

Though already husband and wife for years, my husband treated me with much respect and gentlemanly. Like boyfriend and girlfriend on dates. He would open door for me, gave fashion ideas (his taste was so much better), bothered to excuse himself to fart elsewhere, make sure I had finished what I wanted to say then he would reply back, always made sure he didn't look untidy, etc. So many many more good points. A perfect husband, to me. And I treated him back the same he treated me.

But I'm no Thai lady.

Oh!!!!!!!

[NoshowJones]

Thai wifes and G/Fs are the main reason about how happy or

not you enjoy living in Thailand.

It seems to me that mostly those without are happier.

Admittedly that's just based on what I read here compared to people I know in real life, so it may not be that scientific.

"It seems to me that mostly those without are happier". Yes, that is the impression you get from some posters.

But I don't believe that for a minute. The happiest of expats here, are the ones who are genuinely happily married.

[lanng khao]

Me and my wife enjoy a good open relationship, I'm constantly hopen she fuks off..

[Kenny202]

Accept that with most Thai women you can not carry on a sensible conversation. Further if you ask a yes or no question you get a 15 minute answer that does not answer your question. Do not try to discuss current events and don't discuss anything outside of Thailand. You are not going to have any intellectual enjoyment from a conversation. BETTER TO KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT AND SUCK IT UP! A CLOSED MOUTH CAN NOT START AN ARGUMENT.

"you get a 15 minute answer that does not answer your question", and sometimes you have a long wait for that answer.

That does not apply only to Thai wifes and G/Fs, ask for the price of something in a shop, you will not get an immediate answer.

Ask about some service you require which only needs a yes/no answer, and there will be a long discussion with another member of staff.

I get that all the time. Like we'll stop and ask someone if they know where a shop is for eg. 10 mins later missus sticks her head in the window and says NO

[lanng khao]

Accept that with most Thai women you can not carry on a sensible conversation. Further if you ask a yes or no question you get a 15 minute answer that does not answer your question. Do not try to discuss current events and don't discuss anything outside of Thailand. You are not going to have any intellectual enjoyment from a conversation. BETTER TO KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT AND SUCK IT UP! A CLOSED MOUTH CAN NOT START AN ARGUMENT.

"you get a 15 minute answer that does not answer your question", and sometimes you have a long wait for that answer.

That does not apply only to Thai wifes and G/Fs, ask for the price of something in a shop, you will not get an immediate answer.

Ask about some service you require which only needs a yes/no answer, and there will be a long discussion with another member of staff.

I get that all the time. Like we'll stop and ask someone if they know where a shop is for eg. 10 mins later missus sticks her head in the window and says NO

haha, know what you mean! Mine was on the

Phone

for twenty minutes they other day, when she finished the call she looked at me, let me guess I said, wrong number..

[Kenny202]

It Works For Me ..... WHEN ......

Whenever I feel I "need" to talk to my Thai wife about something, I now

wait a day or two.

The feeling hopefully passes.

We carry on well without me bringing up something.

We have problems when "I" think I need to give a lot of details about something.

It's often better --- to NOT say anything than to say something.

We as men get into trouble with our mouths.

I have the same problem however I find having the strength to shut my mouth is near impossible. I cant just smile and hold it all in like a Thai. Asking her to consider ideas or try and pass on an understanding of my feelings on a particular issue is fruitless. Im always sorry after I broach a subject, but me being me I just cant hold things in and shut up. Even the gentlest and most sensitive raising of a subject ends in frustration either from her lack of education / ability to understand simple concepts or the look on her face of an angry teenager being lectured and not absorbing a thing I am telling her. Rolling eyes etc. Does that mean she doesn't give a sht? I don't know. Trying to use logic to find a solution or idea calmly and rationally is near impossible. Im not talking about personal or feelings issues only either. If we have a major decision to make or sometimes might even be deciding where to have lunch she seems to try and read my thoughts on what she thinks I would like her to say. On many decisions / problems it might be that I genuinely value her opinion or Im not sure myself. But to her it seems everything is a confrontation of sorts. Either shut up and smile or start raising your voice. Probably comes from a hard life and an instinct of best defence is attack. It is tiring though. I think it was her naivety etc that first attracted me to her but what was once cute becomes annoying.

This morning she raised the idea of having a few pigs. (Yesterday she thought a good idea to sell our house and move closer to town). A friend of hers told her easy money. Buy baby pig, feed rice soup every day and wait 3 months and 5000 baht profit. Nice idea in theory. I listened to what she said and I have heard you can make a modest extra income with pigs but in my mind if it were all that easy everyone would be doing it. Of course any capital investment would be mine (on her land) so as usual she has nothing to lose so she wants full steam ahead. Its not the point of my post but I give this as an example. I told her could be a good idea but Id like to talk with a few people and see if viable, whats involved in set up etc. This was immediately taken as an insult by her probably for not trusting her judgement. She has had many businesses over the years and not one of them has been a success. She even told me "she take care pig before, know everything". Oh? First I heard of it. Where did you have pigs? "back her home" (Where we live now). What? you had a proper enclosure cement everything? Yep. Where did the cement slab go? Its not there now?

"I think ground cover". So it becomes a competition and I've lost interest before its even got started.

That and the facebook addiction, internet "super star" gossip pages, endless selfies, mindless Thai TV soapies, sit gossip with women, eat som tam etc. She seems to wake up every morning with some new ailment. Sore back, headache, sore arm etc. I mean every day. The only productive thing I ever see her do is mop the floor and water the garden. As a matter of fact it seems like the ideal existence for many of these girls is mindless. Are they all like this?

Edited November 24, 2015 by Kenny202

[MaeJoMTB]

How to stay in her good books? wow ,treat her just like you would a wife no matter where she is from ,as your lover ,your friend ,your partner in life , it ain't rocket science .

it's very clear to me the answer lies in the selection of partner we all have made. Lower socio economic education status (by a long way) = misery

@i claudius,

My wife is my lover and the mother of my children, but why would I want to treat her as a friend and partner in life?

She is neither of those.

@Kenny,

Most of the white guys I meet in Thailand are from the lowest western classes and educational levels you can find.

Which theoretically makes them ideal partners for Issan farm girls.

Edited November 24, 2015 by MaeJoMTB

[MaeJoMTB]

As a matter of fact it seems like the ideal existence for many of these girls is mindless. Are they all like this?

Yes, most women (all over the world) are like that.

The only noticeable difference with Thai women, is they will have sex with you far more frequently.

Edited November 24, 2015 by MaeJoMTB

[elgenon]

show her respect and allow her to have power in the relationship even if you think you know what is best.

[shaggy851]

Dont let on how much money you have and dont let her catch you cheating and you might make it out alive

[Kenny202]

How to stay in her good books? wow ,treat her just like you would a wife no matter where she is from ,as your lover ,your friend ,your partner in life , it ain't rocket science .

it's very clear to me the answer lies in the selection of partner we all have made. Lower socio economic education status (by a long way) = misery

@i claudius,

My wife is my lover and the mother of my children, but why would I want to treat her as a friend and partner in life?

She is neither of those.

@Kenny,

Most of the white guys I meet in Thailand are from the lowest western classes and educational levels you can find.

Which theoretically makes them ideal partners for Issan farm girls.

You know Joe, I read and enjoy many of your posts and you have told me before you view your relationship as a business....or at best an "arrangement". Don't know how you do it mate? I think its great someone can rationalise the notion of love, because really thats all it is. Initially people feels strong feelings etc but in the end, a long term relationship is an arrangement of sorts. I just don't see how you can have kids etc? Its like living with a pet crocodile. You must have feelings for her on some level? I assume you have a property together maybe in her name. Are u protected? What is her incentive to stay with you or are you due to fall off the perch in a few years?

Just seems to me a relationship with a woman like that (and I may have one myself haven't worked that out yet) you would be constantly vulnerable. For eg you build a business together using your expertise and capital, of course in her name. You would be just giving a person like that the opportunity to take it from you? So you don't progress with your lives, each scared of the other and that is toxic. It seems to me many of the relationships here end when the woman has no real feelings for the man and for the lady the advantages of flicking the man outweigh the advantages of staying with him. We don't support my girls family in any way in fact she's cut them. (very bad history of abuse). We live on a modest budget as I am retired young and she knows I'm not an easy mark for the big score. She doesn't ask for gifts or gold but I do take care of her well and treat her extremely considerately.....probably too much so. We live comfortably and well. I find the need to constantly test her by making sure she understands its not about money.

Id love to hear your thoughts. Ive come here and put a small amount of money in my missus home (she had before we met). $15k US and not too much I can't walk away from. I want us to progress and we're even expecting a baby but Im constantly gauging if something I will do for our future will actually give her an incentive to leave. Don't get me wrong. I wish I could see it differently. In itself Im not scared we'll break up or I'll be alone. Only have to walk 50 metres here and Id find another woman but damned if I want to create a business, a home etc and give it all to her and walk away with nothing. Yes the child is a big thing but seems to me its nothing for many Thai woman to leave their husband and their kid without a father and doesn't seem to be a reason to stay with a bloke. Particularly Leuk Kreung... Lucky don't you know! Leave the kid with mum, mum gets a modest income and everyones happy. I wish I could work it out. I'd never trust any woman particularly at my stage of life with everything to lose and especially any Thai woman 100%. They can put on the most loving performance, sometimes for years when all they really felt was they hated your guts or just saw you as an opportunity. I know many guys here take these massive leaps of faith and all that and many are ok and happy but I just can't put myself in that position. I wish I could figure it all out. I've had a corporate position for many years and fell Im a good judge of people etc but Ive seen so many girls here just turn into monsters. Sometimes of course because they were mistreated etc but sometimes they just never had any feelings for the bloke one way or another

Edited November 24, 2015 by Kenny202

[sead]

Stop being a pussy and man up. The only reason you dont understand her is because she doesnt care about explaining to you and just goes crazy about small things. She knows what's right and wrong but it's just easier to say, you don't understand it's Thai way.

The fact that you are prepared to subdue yourself just to be in good standing with her, shows me you like her alot. But you will get crazy within yourself to not being able to say whats on your mind.

Edited November 24, 2015 by sead

[petermik]

Perfect Harmony,

No need to lie ...... best not to talk to her at all.

Honey, I'm going out ....... Honey, I'm home ......

That's all you need to say.

(and sometimes a bit of foreplay ..... Honey, are you awake?)

The only foreplay she will get off me is when I tell her to brace herself..

Are you from Wales by any chance

[beerzy]

Hi sir,

I know your lady's name is Fang. best to be honest and show her you love her....simple and the rules don't change anywhere in the world. I bought some roses last night and my girl said please don't buy anymore for her, not because she doesn't like me just because she wants to save my money.

A really wonderful woman. oh Fang means straw in thai culture

[NickJ]

I had a wife here for well over ten years. It was total Shi$...looking back I cant believe all the garbage I was put through and accepted. Cost me millions. My current Gf. Is working out beyond belief. At first she had her quirky insecurity issues. Well grounded ones. What I did to ease things was to include her in pretty much everything I do. She met my friends and there are some players in this group. I also let her keep my shoes and phone locked up in her vault so I couldnt escape if I roffied her.......

[salim94]

Do you lavish her with gifts, compliments & romantic dinners?

32 years & 24 for m'y gf

Work 4 month & 2 month in Thailand

Never send her money

Compliment yes when She help me . normal

Parfum every 6 month .romantic dinner Nevers . we eat in street or food center . She pay her food

I pay rent alone . She pay electric & water when She live in m'y Condo

I take her Holiday with me to malaysia l pay for her full trip

Do you do so by supporting her parents? No and will Never happen . prefer break up with her than support her parent . many lose there underwer support familly thaï GF

Edited November 24, 2015 by salim94

[salim94]

Do you lavish her with gifts, compliments & romantic dinners?

32 years & 24 for m'y gf

Work 4 month & 2 month in Thailand

Never send her money

Compliment yes when She help me . normal

Parfum every 6 month .romantic dinner Nevers . we eat in street or food center . She pay her food

I pay rent alone . She pay electric & water when She live in m'y Condo

I take her Holiday with me to malaysia l pay for her full trip

Do you do so by supporting her parents? No and will Never happen . prefer break up with her than support her parent . many lose there underwer support famille thaï GF

[salim94]

.

Edited November 24, 2015 by salim94