Meeting Thai Women

[BookMan]

10,000 to 20,000 is the norm for most foreigners in Thailand to PAY for a girlfriend or wife. You see these foreigners EVERYWHERE !!!! That is not a relationship that is hiring a bar girl. Real love ? What a joke ![quote

In England it's called housekeeping money. No different.

Yeah a LOT of guys tell themselves that - makes them feel far less grubby and self-conscious about hiring a long-term prostitute.

"It's NORMAL to pay your wife a salary in Thailand, Bert. Almost a tradition, mate"

No, sorry but a Western woman who gets married and forgoes a career to become a housewife and mother is a far cry from an opportunistic, Thai woman who sees a life of relative ease laid out in front of her by an old wheezer in return for letting him get his end away once a week

Is once a week the standard deal now?

[thaiduncankk]

Well, if it makes you feel better, Thai guys with a decent job typically give their girlfriends 10K bath per month, or more.

What a steaming pile of horse shit

Are there no limits to the lengths people will go to in order to justify what they do?

Who's doing what now? Anyway, if you understand Thai, then just listen to Thai girls at work or on their lunch breaks. The hot ones. All they talk about is how much money their Thai boyfriends give em, or how many gifts they got. A Thai guy once told me, "Attractive Thai girls have a lot of boyfriends." I wonder why, although I'm almost certain it's not b/c they like to get laid.

Are you really this naive?

They're gossiping about potential SUITORS, not boyfriends

Inept Thai men are no different from inept Western men - some will lavish gifts and spend money on a woman they're pursuing

Very, very rare for a Thai man with an ACTUAL girlfriend/wife to pay her a stipend. (removed)

The ones that receive stipends from Thai men are mia nois.

Normally, young and fit, know the man is married, he normally has kids also, but she is prepared to have sex with him whenever he requests it, for a monthly salary and other benefits like condo paid for every month.

A few years later he drops her for a younger model, and the dream is over.

The best way for here to continue the financial benefits she has become accustomed to is to look for a farang, usually found online, as she can then pick and choose which one to ensnare.

[eldragon]

Well, if it makes you feel better, Thai guys with a decent job typically give their girlfriends 10K bath per month, or more.

What a steaming pile of horse shit

Are there no limits to the lengths people will go to in order to justify what they do?

Who's doing what now? Anyway, if you understand Thai, then just listen to Thai girls at work or on their lunch breaks. The hot ones. All they talk about is how much money their Thai boyfriends give em, or how many gifts they got. A Thai guy once told me, "Attractive Thai girls have a lot of boyfriends." I wonder why, although I'm almost certain it's not b/c they like to get laid.

Are you really this naive?

They're gossiping about potential SUITORS, not boyfriends

Inept Thai men are no different from inept Western men - some will lavish gifts and spend money on a woman they're pursuing

Very, very rare for a Thai man with an ACTUAL girlfriend/wife to pay her a stipend. (removed)

What's the difference? Suitor might as well be another boyfriend. This is just what Thai men and women have told me though. I won't pretend to know anything more about Thai society than that. But I'm finding things are not as different between Thais as we think. Anyway, I've never handed a Thai woman cash for anything other than rent and two hours of fun, so not my concern I guess.

[eldragon]

The ones that receive stipends from Thai men are mia nois.

Normally, young and fit, know the man is married, he normally has kids also, but she is prepared to have sex with him whenever he requests it, for a monthly salary and other benefits like condo paid for every month.

A few years later he drops her for a younger model, and the dream is over.

The best way for here to continue the financial benefits she has become accustomed to is to look for a farang, usually found online, as she can then pick and choose which one to ensnare.

That's true, and I know about the mia nois. But I also know Thai girls can play men like no other women can. And I'm not even saying they're all players. It's cultural. I mean, let's just say there's a Thai guy out there with a hot little girlfriend, and he's making say 70 or 80K per month. Knowing what you know about this society, don't you think that girl would expect him to share some of that money with her? I mean, heck, I've know a few upper middle class girls whose boyfriend bought their family a house. And they're not even married yet.

[Cypress Hill]

The ones that receive stipends from Thai men are mia nois.

Normally, young and fit, know the man is married, he normally has kids also, but she is prepared to have sex with him whenever he requests it, for a monthly salary and other benefits like condo paid for every month.

A few years later he drops her for a younger model, and the dream is over.

The best way for here to continue the financial benefits she has become accustomed to is to look for a farang, usually found online, as she can then pick and choose which one to ensnare.

Knowing what you know about this society, don't you think that girl would expect him to share some of that money with her?

No I don't because I don't consider the nonsense I read on Thaivisa to be a valid part of what I know about this society.

If it makes you feel better about paying your way with Thai women to believe that Thai guys DO pay stipends to GFs and wives, then fair enough - that's your call but those of us in the real world know different

[eldragon]

The ones that receive stipends from Thai men are mia nois.

Normally, young and fit, know the man is married, he normally has kids also, but she is prepared to have sex with him whenever he requests it, for a monthly salary and other benefits like condo paid for every month.

A few years later he drops her for a younger model, and the dream is over.

The best way for here to continue the financial benefits she has become accustomed to is to look for a farang, usually found online, as she can then pick and choose which one to ensnare.

Knowing what you know about this society, don't you think that girl would expect him to share some of that money with her?

No I don't because I don't consider the nonsense I read on Thaivisa to be a valid part of what I know about this society.

If it makes you feel better about paying your way with Thai women to believe that Thai guys DO pay stipends to GFs and wives, then fair enough - that's your call but those of us in the real world know different

My info comes from Thais. Did you not concede the suitors give em gifts and cash? Why would any of that end when the guy gets the girl? Anyway, I'm not making a blanket statement about all relationships here. I'm just saying when there's a guy that's got money- Thai or foreign- there can be an expectation to share that money with the girl. And that's not even unique to Thailand anyway. I don't see a lot of hot, classy girls back in the west dating guys making pennies.

Edited November 29, 2015 by eldragon

[thaiduncankk]

You could actually start another thread, or incorporate it in this one:

Why do a lot of Thai women give their Thai boyfriends a monthly stipend ?

[bazza40]

Thai girl, old wheezer = YUK ! YUK ! and YUK! no matter how much money he is tossing at her. Guess he can,t understand any Thai insults and dirty looks everywhere he goes. Sorry it makes ALL foreigners look like complete losers and suckers.

You seem to have a real hang-up about old guys and young Thai girls. I'd suggest it's none of your business. I'd also suggest you wait until you've reached a mature age before passing judgment on something you obviously don't understand.

A lot of the so-called old wheezers have made a pact with younger Thai women. The pact consists of the Thai woman taking care of the older man until he dies. In return, she gets financial support and also looked after in his will.

When you compare this with the Western-style approach of shoving unwanted relatives into nursing homes to rot, with extortionate fees to boot for indifferent care, I'll take the Thai-style version any time. And I'm more likely to die with a smile on my face.

Perhaps you are concerned you will be branded a loser and sucker by association. Don't worry, you've achieved the loser part already out of your own mouth.

Edited November 29, 2015 by bazza40

[off road pat]

Everything in life comes at the right time...though be patient....

It did for me,...and I was not looking for it....met my wife at the right time for me and her...

[eldragon]

Thai girl, old wheezer = YUK ! YUK ! and YUK! no matter how much money he is tossing at her. Guess he can,t understand any Thai insults and dirty looks everywhere he goes. Sorry it makes ALL foreigners look like complete losers and suckers.

A lot of the so-called old wheezers have made a pact with younger Thai women. The pact consists of the Thai woman taking care of the older man until he dies.

Hopefully that last part doesn't come prematurely on the footpath in front of the old chap's condo building.

[JAFO]

Lots of top relationship experts on TVF. Glad I read through all 7 pages.

A few questions/comments did arise;

1) So do all you guys give an "Allowance" to your wife/GF? I must have snuck one by my wife. She works and we have a joint acct.

2) Are all you guys with women that are unemployed house wives that have sex with you on command because you give them that allowance and they feel guilty if they do not?

3) As for the book Thai Fever... A friend some years back told me about it. One day while at Central Mall in a bookstore getting a Map of Thailand I thumbed through the book. While it may be required for the complete never been in a relationship with any woman novice, I found it was quite silly. Thailand has changed so much in the last 5 to 7 years. So much of what I skimmed over does not even apply anymore. It would likely be a good book for the foreigner who just landed and was on a bus ride out in deep area of Isaan looking for a young wife and they have no internet or TV. I mean come on man if you read about the culture and understand it why would one need a book on how to date a Thai woman? She is a woman, if you have dated a woman before its really no different. Of course the age makes a huge difference.

To the OP, I think at 65 you have some challenges meeting a woman for a non monetary relationship. If you go the young route you contend with the Hello Kitty, pink bed sheets, cute bunny slippers around the house type and likely lives on Facebook and Line and watches Thai soap operas. If you meet an older woman you have some convincing to do that you can make her life better. Older woman are established, likely have a job or business, their own car, house, friends, etc etc.

Bottom line stay off internet dating sites. 90% of that is a scam to target unsuspecting vulnerable foreigners. There are a bunch probably being scammed as I type this sentence. Go out and just meet people like it is supposed to be. It takes time, be patient. Learn a bit of the language. Smile a lot. I met my wife when I wasn't looking. Usually how it happens.

Anyway Carry on......................

[JLCrab]

I have lived full time now in Thailand for 12 years and know enough about Thai society to realize that, if you plan your life well enough, you will only have to listen to what others think of your life style on a forum like this and not in 'real life' where nobody really cares.

[foxteen]

When i meet Thai woman i flash some $1000 bath in the way that she can see ..and then take from there. Attitude and behaviour is easy to notice within 3 months or less

[eldragon]

Lots of top relationship experts on TVF. Glad I read through all 7 pages.

A few questions/comments did arise;

1) So do all you guys give an "Allowance" to your wife/GF? I must have snuck one by my wife. She works and we have a joint acct.

2) Are all you guys with women that are unemployed house wives that have sex with you on command because you give them that allowance and they feel guilty if they do not?

3) As for the book Thai Fever... A friend some years back told me about it. One day while at Central Mall in a bookstore getting a Map of Thailand I thumbed through the book. While it may be required for the complete never been in a relationship with any woman novice, I found it was quite silly. Thailand has changed so much in the last 5 to 7 years. So much of what I skimmed over does not even apply anymore. It would likely be a good book for the foreigner who just landed and was on a bus ride out in deep area of Isaan looking for a young wife and they have no internet or TV. I mean come on man if you read about the culture and understand it why would one need a book on how to date a Thai woman? She is a woman, if you have dated a woman before its really no different. Of course the age makes a huge difference.

And I bet all those guys that hand out an allowance would call you a fool for sharing a bank account with a Thai girl. Ha ha.

But seriously, were talking about a nation that still has dowries. And even a gap year English teacher makes twice as much as your average Thai office girl. That's nice that you were lucky enough to meet a girl that seems to make her own money, but not everyone is so lucky. It's not easy to meet a classy, sophisticated Thai girl that makes a decent living and is interested in foreigners. Plus, many women will confess they're attracted to guys that earn more than they do and generally try to marry up.

Now, I'm not advocating for or against anything. And at the end of the day, everyone's gotta make a decision between which parts of Thai culture they can abide by and where they draw the line on their own values. But if you enter into a serious relationship with a girl whose salary is a half or a quarter (or less) of yours, and you consider all the points I mentioned above, why would you not throw her a little cash and/or pay some of her bills at the end of the month?

Is it really that big a deal? When I lived in the US, I made three or four times what most of the girls I dated earned. I remember a time I was out with a girl that had given herself serious anxiety over the $9 she'd just spent on having lunch with me. If I ever got serious with a girl like that, a girl I really cared about, I'd pay her phone bill or give her money for the week without batting an eye.

I think the part that bothers most people- whether they realize it or not- about these relationships with sponsorship, allowance, or whatever you want to call it is the perception that there's a huge age difference and/or the girl's intellect is way lower than the guy's. So it somehow comes off as shallow or exploitative. And I'm sure many times it is. There's also the fact that people seem to arrive at these types of relationships very quickly here, and often times the 'negotiations' almost seem like a business deal. But one of the most common complaints I hear from Thai girls about foreigners is that they want a relationship with sex, yet offer no financial support. So can you blame a girl for being direct on the matter?

Thanks for steering my clear of Thai Fever. Almost gave it a look.

[Muzarella]

Not telling your age and your living and working situation, any advice is not valid.

[JAFO]

Lots of top relationship experts on TVF. Glad I read through all 7 pages.

A few questions/comments did arise;

1) So do all you guys give an "Allowance" to your wife/GF? I must have snuck one by my wife. She works and we have a joint acct.

2) Are all you guys with women that are unemployed house wives that have sex with you on command because you give them that allowance and they feel guilty if they do not?

3) As for the book Thai Fever... A friend some years back told me about it. One day while at Central Mall in a bookstore getting a Map of Thailand I thumbed through the book. While it may be required for the complete never been in a relationship with any woman novice, I found it was quite silly. Thailand has changed so much in the last 5 to 7 years. So much of what I skimmed over does not even apply anymore. It would likely be a good book for the foreigner who just landed and was on a bus ride out in deep area of Isaan looking for a young wife and they have no internet or TV. I mean come on man if you read about the culture and understand it why would one need a book on how to date a Thai woman? She is a woman, if you have dated a woman before its really no different. Of course the age makes a huge difference.

And I bet all those guys that hand out an allowance would call you a fool for sharing a bank account with a Thai girl. Ha ha.

But seriously, were talking about a nation that still has dowries. And even a gap year English teacher makes twice as much as your average Thai office girl. That's nice that you were lucky enough to meet a girl that seems to make her own money, but not everyone is so lucky. It's not easy to meet a classy, sophisticated Thai girl that makes a decent living and is interested in foreigners. Plus, many women will confess they're attracted to guys that earn more than they do and generally try to marry up.

Now, I'm not advocating for or against anything. And at the end of the day, everyone's gotta make a decision between which parts of Thai culture they can abide by and where they draw the line on their own values. But if you enter into a serious relationship with a girl whose salary is a half or a quarter (or less) of yours, and you consider all the points I mentioned above, why would you not throw her a little cash and/or pay some of her bills at the end of the month?

Is it really that big a deal? When I lived in the US, I made three or four times what most of the girls I dated earned. I remember a time I was out with a girl that had given herself serious anxiety over the $9 she'd just spent on having lunch with me. If I ever got serious with a girl like that, a girl I really cared about, I'd pay her phone bill or give her money for the week without batting an eye.

I think the part that bothers most people- whether they realize it or not- about these relationships with sponsorship, allowance, or whatever you want to call it is the perception that there's a huge age difference and/or the girl's intellect is way lower than the guy's. So it somehow comes off as shallow or exploitative. And I'm sure many times it is. There's also the fact that people seem to arrive at these types of relationships very quickly here, and often times the 'negotiations' almost seem like a business deal. But one of the most common complaints I hear from Thai girls about foreigners is that they want a relationship with sex, yet offer no financial support. So can you blame a girl for being direct on the matter?

Thanks for steering my clear of Thai Fever. Almost gave it a look.

You make some good points Eldragon. I see some of them differently. When dating I would expect to pay if I asked her out the same as I did in the US. Early on when we were dating I picked up the tab a great majority of the time however numerous times she insisted as she said "I do not want you to think I am expecting you to pay because you are a foreigner" She has a tremendous amount of personal pride and didn't want the perception hanging over her. But to your point I understand that what us foreigners likely make in comparison to what they may bring in can be 4-6 times more. But by just 'Kicking" them money doesn't that set up oneself up as a "Rescuer". Enabling can be a dangerous thing. It sets an expectation and young girls quickly learn to exploit it as the older guy is simply enamored by it all. This is the biggest issue that sets a standard and the young girls quickly talk and share stories and the standard is set. Most men create the monster.

I personally would never just give money to a gal I was dating because she made less than me. What was she doing prior to me? How did she survive? I did not want to become an ATM like so many do. I would not do it in the states why would I do it in Thailand? Now once married its an entirely different set of expectations for both parties. But even after we got married and got a joint account we still had our own personal accts and enjoyed paying for things out of it for each other.

As for dowries and sinsots, Yes they still exist but most are for face at weddings and the money always goes back to the parties who gave it. I do know a few way out in Isaan that had a traditional wedding and the parents kept the money. But outside that rarity, it is simply is fading away.

One point I do agree with is that a vast majority of foreigners men want to sack the women on the first date because the perception is they are easy and for a few bucks they will. This is how this entire stigma started and the games they play with foreigners.

In the end I feel extremely fortunate I met an established woman as I did. She is a wonderful wife. It showed me that our relationship is about us and not about money. She has everything she needs but said she lacked a man in her life. She was brutally forward with me early on and said if I am a game player like the few Thai men she dated please do not waste her time. She said she is only dating me to see if I can be a gentleman she is looking for. I liked the challenge. Honestly I wouldn't have had it any other way. There was no way I was going to do the bar girl scene as it would be a huge disappointment to my daughters back in the states and no way I was going to internet date and no way I was going to convince myself that I can have a meaningful relationship with a girl 20 or 30 years younger than me.

One other note, She has always taken care of her father and never asked me for any money. I have offered on a few occasions and she has declined. In fact I like buying him things on my own from time to time and he knows it is from me and not some sort of pity gift because I think he is poor. I have great respect for him.

Sorry OP for going off tangent. But maybe this also helps you in your search.

[JLCrab]

From the nested post above: (and) no way I was going to convince myself that I can have a meaningful relationship with a girl 20 or 30 years younger than me.

So you've never tried?

[BookMan]

From the nested post above: (and) no way I was going to convince myself that I can have a meaningful relationship with a girl 20 or 30 years younger than me.

So you've never tried?

Does relationship and meaningful have to go hand in hand?

[JLCrab]

From the nested post above: (and) no way I was going to convince myself that I can have a meaningful relationship with a girl 20 or 30 years younger than me.

So you've never tried?

Does relationship and meaningful have to go hand in hand?

Beats me -- what is an UN-meaningful relationship?

[marcofunny]

My simple 5 cents to the OP if you ever wants to marry a Thai woman than make sure she is an Orphan , her siblings and family are really a big pain in the a** btw my thai wife is an orphan too so I think I found the magic formula for everyone.

Edited November 30, 2015 by marcofunny

[JAFO]

From the nested post above: (and) no way I was going to convince myself that I can have a meaningful relationship with a girl 20 or 30 years younger than me.

So you've never tried?

Didn't have to. Working around loads of 20 to early 30 year olds, watching how they behaved and carried on at work and outside work it was clear to me that there was no way it could ever happen for a host of reasons.

Sure some of them are lookers but once that rush is over, whats left? Some find a way to make it work. I do not know how. Just wouldn't with me.

[JLCrab]

From the nested post above: (and) no way I was going to convince myself that I can have a meaningful relationship with a girl 20 or 30 years younger than me.

So you've never tried?

Didn't have to. Working around loads of 20 to early 30 year olds, watching how they behaved and carried on at work and outside work it was clear to me that there was no way it could ever happen for a host of reasons.

Sure some of them are lookers but once that rush is over, whats left? Some find a way to make it work. I do not know how. Just wouldn't with me.

So you are basing the presumption that it wouldn't work for you upon the sample of 20 or 30 year old Thai females you have encountered at work. Fine.

[bazza40]

It's a hangover from Western culture older men and younger Thai women = stupid old falang. Part of the general disrespect for age refreshingly absent in Thailand.

Do you younger guys seriously think older guys, with all their life experiences, wouldn't be testing the honesty of the Thai woman and meeting her family before making a commitment to financial support in return for care? Talk about coming the raw prawn.

All the financial support/ care pacts I've observed over the last 6 years - half a dozen - have worked well for both parties.

I'm quite amused by people back in Australia who ask whether I have a Thai g/f. Secretly, they are envious of my freedom. They are also saddled with wives their own age, and they are petrified the wife will just call it a day and walk away with half their assets.

Never mind, just keep on going with your insecurities, prejudices and ignorance. I'm sure if you keep on looking for negatives, you'll find them.

[JAFO]

From the nested post above: (and) no way I was going to convince myself that I can have a meaningful relationship with a girl 20 or 30 years younger than me.

So you've never tried?

Didn't have to. Working around loads of 20 to early 30 year olds, watching how they behaved and carried on at work and outside work it was clear to me that there was no way it could ever happen for a host of reasons.

Sure some of them are lookers but once that rush is over, whats left? Some find a way to make it work. I do not know how. Just wouldn't with me.

So you are basing the presumption that it wouldn't work for you upon the sample of 20 or 30 year old Thai females you have encountered at work. Fine.

The sample size is pretty large JL. Its not 3 or 4. The company I worked for was 2300 +. Most of these gals were educated and graduates with 4 year or better degrees. I went on many company outings as well as nights out with the engineers and office managers. Just not for me. on some of them I felt like I was a chaperon at a high school dance.

Edited November 30, 2015 by JAFO

[JLCrab]

I see -- you got to know over 2300 Thai women at work well enough to know whether you would be interested in a relationship with some component of those young Thai women who were willing too spend enough time with you such that you could determine that you were not interested in a relationship.

Edited November 30, 2015 by JLCrab

[JAFO]

I see -- you got to know over 2300 Thai women at work well enough to know whether you would be interested in a relationship with some component of those young Thai women who were willing too spend enough time with you such that you could determine that you were not interested in a relationship.

There were a few that attempted to establish an interest. At the time I was 47, one was 29. Hard to take a gal serious that has stuffed animals at her desk, takes naps on break, was always on Facebook and my favorite was the fuzzy slippers at work. Sorry man. My 20 year old daughter was far more mature than that.

But let me be clear, if it works for the individual, go for it. As I said I need way more mental stimulation and life experience. I did not want a dependent nor did I want to be a father figure. Keep in mind I was not looking to have a gal that we had some sort of financial agreement that I would fund her lifestyle in return she would be a hospice nurse when the time came.

[JLCrab]

Well I guess that's the crux, ain't it? I need mental stimulation and life experience but I don't feel that I have to necessarily get it in a meaningful relationship.

Edited November 30, 2015 by JLCrab

[eldragon]

It's a hangover from Western culture older men and younger Thai women = stupid old falang. Part of the general disrespect for age refreshingly absent in Thailand.

Do you younger guys seriously think older guys, with all their life experiences, wouldn't be testing the honesty of the Thai woman and meeting her family before making a commitment to financial support in return for care? Talk about coming the raw prawn.

Test em all you want. Doesn't mean you're gonna catch em cheating on the exam.

[YeahSiam]

It's a hangover from Western culture older men and younger Thai women = stupid old falang. Part of the general disrespect for age refreshingly absent in Thailand.

Do you younger guys seriously think older guys, with all their life experiences, wouldn't be testing the honesty of the Thai woman and meeting her family before making a commitment to financial support in return for care? Talk about coming the raw prawn.

All the financial support/ care pacts I've observed over the last 6 years - half a dozen - have worked well for both parties.

I'm quite amused by people back in Australia who ask whether I have a Thai g/f. Secretly, they are envious of my freedom. They are also saddled with wives their own age, and they are petrified the wife will just call it a day and walk away with half their assets.

Never mind, just keep on going with your insecurities, prejudices and ignorance. I'm sure if you keep on looking for negatives, you'll find them.

'Envious'? 'Freedom'?

What? Freedom to

exploit a farm girl's

poverty to pay her to

stay with you? If these

people you think are

envious are your age,

are they really still as

driven by their nether

regions as you appear

to be?

[JLCrab]

I don't know about this testing stuff. I just told her before we get into a meaningful relationship she's gonna have to wear one of these: