A No BS Post about Thailand dating and Marriage

[honestaboutthailand]

I have read this forum and numerous other thai-centric blogs and forums for the past couple of years.

For the uninitiated, please take almost 90% of the comments/articles on Thai women as entertainment at best and pure BS at worst.

My background, very successful 50 year old American involved in real estate and development. Fit, good looking. Two grown wonderful daughters. A prior US Caucasian marriage of 16 years - wife was 6 years older than me. Prior to my divorce never dated or even thought about dating an Asian woman. No Facebook or social media. After my divorce I met a wonderful Korean lady here in USA (6 years younger). Divorced, two kids, absolutely a terrific person. We had a wonderful 5 years and a couple not so great on the wind down.

After that relationship, one late night surfing the web for sports, on espn.com a banner add popped up about beautiful Asian women. Click and my first exposure to any dating site. This site was asiandating.com. next day went back and plunked down my $30.95 for a month membership and began my education about dating online.

First from the dating online aspect of looking at Asian women thousands of miles away: quickly discovered the Filipinas had by far the highest amount of scammers. It was obnoxious the pleas and excuses for needing money. (if they need money before they meet you - run away). But ended up meeting a Filipina (educated but poor, 31 years old) and a Thai (masters, head of business office large Toyota dealership, 34 years old). Got my first Skype account (if they don't/can't get on camera right away - run away) and after 4 months of chatting to both, set up a visit to see both of them. Arrived BKK in 2013, met the Thai lady and we went to Koh Lanta for a week. Turned out, everything she said was accurate except she was actually 42. Chatting and being with someone for a week are two different experiences and she was as boring as a bag of bricks. Took the flight to MNL and met the Filipina. Just as described and on camera. Super sexy, educated, smart and funny. But after 3 days in Manila and dealing with the abject poverty of the country and realizing that getting involved long term with a poor lady was not my bag.

Back to the USA and met a super sexy, smart Filipina nurse (27 years old) on same site, living in Fresno (about 3 hours from LA). 1 month of chat skype every night. Met and was fireworks right away. Dated for 3 months, moved to my beach house and were together for 8 more months. Unfortunately did not work out due to her desire to have a baby (Make sure you get this point worked out prior to getting involved!! my bad.) Then met a Thai lady from Boston educated, smart, gorgeous, not much money - 31 years old. Flew her out for a long weekend. Was ok connection but became obvious she was looking for a husband (visa was expiring in next few months - make sure you ask status before getting involved - my bad again!)

Back online, but this time decided to focus on Thai and Indonesian women only. Met one of each, skype everyday for 3 months, off I go again. First to Jakarta. Educated, gorgeous, smart, great job - 31 years old. We spent a great week together, but in the end, the whole experience of the Muslim side of life made me realize that was a road I did not want to hoe. Off to Phuket, met the Thai lady. Educated, gorgeous, tall, wealthy family - 33 years old. Had an amazing week. We connected on every level and she was athletic, tried scuba diving (be warned if you are a water sport person - 95%+ of Asian women do not know how to swim) This started a 7 month relationship that was amazing at first (I traveled to Thailand every month) to a realization that she was more interested in shop shop shopping then anything else. Finally cut off the money pit from traveling with her and shopping everywhere.

This time changed my parameters and website: thaifriendly.com Met the usual scammers and gold diggers and prostitutes. ignoring them right away. Focused, narrowed in on one gal. Very smart, educated, had her own cosmetic company in BKK, stunningly beautiful, former model and part time actress on TV 3 - 32 years old. Skype every day for two months. Set up another trip. Never believed in Love at first sight but it was as close as it gets. Returned every month and we decided to get married legally 5 months later with wedding to follow. Met the family early on in the relationship. Wonderful people, hardworking (own a hotel in Lomsak) and very proud. Father is a teacher, brother owns a used car dealership. She was never married (as all the ones i dated and no children). Great friends in BKK, but what some of the uniformed ignorant masses here would call Hi-So.

Understand many of the mongers on these blogs and cheap expats and retirees have more experience at the local watering holes with chrome dance poles than they profess, and most of them would never stand a chance with a true classy beautiful Thai lady because many won't even look at a farang for a bf, and those that will are very very picky and don't want some fat old loafer.

With that said for all of the "self professed" experts on marriage and sinsod, ignore them just like the classy Thai ladies do. They are an ignorant lot. It is true that Sin Sod is generally a still practiced custom. I know some of my wife's friends family's in BKK did not request it. I also know that many many Thai celebrity weddings have Sin Sod of $10,000,000 +++. (so before you losers start to say no one pays Sin Sod, just look at some of the celebrity weddings last year!) Myself, I had a clear understanding after spending weeks researching the issue. I agreed to a 1,000,000 baht Sin Sod and 9 Baht of gold. Please note that I also paid for the wedding which BTW has over 7,000 vimeo views in Thailand). We had a traditional morning ceremony and a christian ceremony in the evening. It obviously was a big event - her uncle is a senior general and was one of her benefactors in the morning ceremony. Absolutely and amazing wedding experience. For those who would like to check it out google mark&katy bluesky (it was at Blue Sky resort in Khao Kho). Her parents offered to return half the Sin Sod and instead I had them use it to pay down the hotel loan. We also received 390,000 baht in wedding envelope money. Which I gave to her parents as well.

We have a condo in BKK and I am there every month. Truly an amazing relationship and I feel blessed. However, without the several years of experience gained from on-line dating and my mistakes, there is no chance I would have met/attracted her interest , nor been ready to recognize the one that I want to marry. We have expanded her business and it is now making her/me a net of many multiples of what I paid in the Sin Sod.

Is my experience normal - absolutely not. BUT, my reason for writing this is to let other know to be cautious, learn as much as you can about the culture of who you are interested in dating, take it slow and skype/facetime every day. If you get serious have a rule that you both will answer to facetime/skype anytime of the day or night (that will take care of any trust issues) If she won't do this or always has an excuse why she can't answer - run away. Meet the family sooner rather than later to gauge how she was raised morally. Meet her friends soon after you start dating to see their personalities. In my experience her Thai friends will be more like her than not - if they are name brand shop shop shoppers, then most likely she is too! If she asks you for money, be very cautious. In my experience, even Thai women that are short on funds that are from good family upbringing and classy ladies will never ask for money - it would be a huge loss of face. Don't be afraid of Sin Sod, but research it on your own and make you own decision. Understand that many very wealthy Thai families will require it even if they return some or all of it. Most of all, take enough time to understand the entire scope of responsibility and background of your potential new bride.

Last word of advice, I have no experience at all with the bar scene in Thailand. But from reading several years worth of blogs and posts, and based on common sense, stay away from any girl who has been in that scene. Thailand has a huge amount of classy, well raised, moral women. Unless you are a monger, slob, old, fat, cheap you can certainly find a truly "good" Thai lady to date.

My wife.

The Shop Shop Shop girl

[mad mary]

That is a wonderful view you have from your ivory tower but it obviously has no mirrors

[lust]

Why does she still have a Thai Friendly account?

[honestaboutthailand]

I can flame you losers all day and night long. Your purpose of existence is misery that you want to foist on others. Rather than address your pathetic lives, I prefer to let my advice stand on its own. I don't come from an Ivory Tower perspective and I have earned every penny that I have. And several of my wife's friends have married farangs that are not financially anywhere near my postion. So for those who are gentlemen, have class, and take care of themselves, there is always a chance. Anyway enjoy your constant negative posts based on your miserable excuse for a life and your piss poor understanding of women and life in general. I am glad you have time for thousands of posts to justify your existence.

[mad mary]

I can flame you losers all day and night long. Your purpose of existence is misery that you want to foist on others. Rather than address your pathetic lives, I prefer to let my advice stand on its own. I don't come from an Ivory Tower perspective and I have earned every penny that I have. And several of my wife's friends have married farangs that are not financially anywhere near my postion. So for those who are gentlemen, have class, and take care of themselves, there is always a chance. Anyway enjoy your constant negative posts based on your miserable excuse for a life and your piss poor understanding of women and life in general. I am glad you have time for thousands of posts to justify your existence.

Flame away but let it be known I dont take shit from gingers ,especially those that wax!

[shunter]

Seems like a ''look at me narcissist ego trip post.''.

No relevance to the reality of life here in Thailand or elsewhere for that matter.

[loonytune]

yes you have indeed scored well. but do you walk around in thailand with her in toe. wouldnt like to be you or her

[MaeJoMTB]

555

Your tits are bigger than hers!

You need to work out more or eat less.

[SoiBiker]

Interesting post. Predictable responses.

[derator01]

This thread seems to be going nowhere fast. Best we close it now before some members are put on a posting holiday.

Topic Closed.