Am I being a dick to my thai gf?

[Deli]

Tell you GF you stay with auntie and all is good... that's what I do it, she I see my ex

[Guest]

Sorry to say, the milk is already spilled ...

You have broken almost all the Thai rules.

You are not taking her on the trip she has been dreaming about, and her friends are laughing at her saying you USE her, but will never marry her.

You are fulfilling every Thai girl's Mother's warning "When your man walks out the door, he is not married."

You are not understanding the Thai way, and employing the "Well, this is how we do it in the USA": which is NOT TRUE AND SHE KNOWS IT!

So let me tell ya', when you call her from the States .. and she does not answer ... be ready for her turn for the "little white lies"

Battery Dead.

Network Down.

Ringer off.

Lost Phone.

Forgot to pay bill.

Or could it be ....

"Went to Soi 11 and found a cool young wealthy triathlete engineer and he is AWESOME"

Now YOU get to sit up and night and worry, JUST the way you have twisted her head.

Too late .. you pissed in the well. She will NEVER trust you again. NEVER!

[user82374298374]

>She is 23...I am 40....

Here's the problem.

[SoiBiker]

I doesn't matter what a beautiful, platonic relationship you have with your ex. You have a new girlfriend now, and your priorities should lie with her.

[northernboy]

Just tell you girlfriend she can pay for your hotel there if she has a problem with it.

TV's should grow up and not be so whipped by their girlfriends. When they act like they pay the bills, make them do just that,.

Her insecurity should not be your problem.

If she does not like it she can leave you if she wants.

[SoiBiker]

Just tell you girlfriend she can pay for your hotel there if she has a problem with it.

TV's should grow up and not be so whipped by their girlfriends. When they act like they pay the bills, make them do just that,.

Her insecurity should not be your problem.

If she does not like it she can leave you if she wants.

If you have that amount of contempt for your girlfriend, you should probably just stop stringing her along right now.

[rjcampbe]

I read your post, the replies, and many of your responses to the replies, and I do understand your viewpoint. However, in my opinion, you are not being a "dick" per se, but you are being pretty clueless about feelings, perceptions, and relationships... particularly with regard to women, and specifically Thai women.

I get your point that this ex was "a long time ago" and all that... and I get that how you feel about your ex now is a lot different from when you were together. In my case, I would not eat dinner in the same restaurant at the same time as my ex... let alone say in her apartment. But to each his own and YMMV.

However, even if that were not the case, I would also never even consider putting myself in a position where I would have to explain / justify wanting to stay at my exes place to my current partner.

All you have to do is think about it logically and ask yourself one question... What is the likely outcome of this conversation?

Take out a piece of paper and draw a line down the middle... on the left, write down all the possible GOOD things that can come of that discussion... and on the right side, write down all of the possible BAD outcomes...

Then ask yourself if the value of avoiding those bad outcomes is worth the cost of a hotel room and you will know what to do next.

[hobobo]

I think most women wouldn't like their man to do that. Would you be ok if your girlfriend went abroad on a holiday and stayed with her ex?

The longer the better. Jealousy is so nmon-Buddhist...

[MockingJay]

By experience I can say that most posters in cases like this answer their own question within the headline.

[msealey]

I assume at some point you have fingered both these women?

[SoiBiker]

I assume at some point you have fingered both these women?

Dude, what are you, 13?

[Sutty]

Grow up is what I think. Why the in her 1.2 Mil condo!!!!! And her plastic surgeon boyfriend.!!!! Trying to impress are we.

[Doc46]

I think your'e a Tosser alright Take you're GF with you on trips ,,Or don't tell her where an Who you stay with,If you do the latter you are a Tosser .

[Ulic]

In general I stay friends with the ex's but some people cannot. Zero desire to hook up with

ex's but often people don't believe me. Her position is certainly understandable though.

You probably should have gone with the, "what she does not know, will not hurt her" program

but in being honest this is what you get. You trust here while you are away, she has to trust you.

The temptation for "strange/fresh" is here in Thailand not back in the USA.

[Squeegee]

Your girlfriend deserves better.

[D3030]

Many Thai women would get jealous - not by you staying with an exGF, they get pissed at the amount of money she thinks you might be spending on another women - other than her.

Even if it's nothing... They will just assume you are..

Anyway if she has an issue with it or not.. Some Thai women believe having sex with a Thai guy or making a few extra bucks with a customer is OK, while their farang bf(s) or sponser(s) are off staying with their exGF or family member back in the States..

When you call her and she doesn't answer - think the worse.. If she answers the phone - doesn't matter! Think the worst..

You're not being a dick to your Thai gf... She could careless about you.. It's all about the money.

[TravelerEastWest]

Stands to reason a 23 yr old girl will have a totally different outlook/aspect than a 40 yr old.

But in reality, I doubt many women would "understand" that situation or accept it.

Correct - actually I think the OP is trolling and can't be serious to think a 23 year old from Thailand will see the world the way he does.

[Mitkof Island]

My question is: where did he meet his lovely girlfriend ? Waiting for an honest answer. Doubt i will get it.

no worries on this one.....i think i was in my 30's when i realized 23 is way too young for a relationship. that was a few years ago, and now i think 28 is pretty young. probably under 31 or so is too young....anyhow, my point is this relationship won't last much longer so who cares.......it's your money. lie to her. tell her you are staying in a 200 USD a night place and now no gifts to her.....i'm being honest. this age gap has 5% of working......

[Ciaran Mc]

Awesome responses from some big hitters on this site...I'm humbled...Thanks guys! Gives me something to think about and figure out how to best play the next move...That city isn't coming up until after my next stop in Austin....my ex's place is a 2 bdrm downtown loft laced out with art and high end decor, furnishings, easy access to everything...and she welcomes me there...always has. It may seem cheap charlie college couch surf sponge to some of you geezers but I come from the burning man generation and circle...my peeps miss me and always welcome me indefinitely....I just prefer my own room and privacy vs couches and wives...again lots of solid view points i appreciate it all.

yep . . you're a dick !!

[Mitkof Island]

Your speaking about a bar girl.

Many Thai women would get jealous - not by you staying with an exGF, they get pissed at the amount of money she thinks you might be spending on another women - other than her.

Even if it's nothing... They will just assume you are..

Anyway if she has an issue with it or not.. Some Thai women believe having sex with a Thai guy or making a few extra bucks with a customer is OK, while their farang bf(s) or sponser(s) are off staying with their exGF or family member back in the States..

When you call her and she doesn't answer - think the worse.. If she answers the phone - doesn't matter! Think the worst..

You're not being a dick to your Thai gf... She could careless about you.. It's all about the money.

[Sutty]

And so it begins.

Now expect piss like

She'll be ok with her thai boyfriend

She will go back on the game

And all the rest of the normal thai women hating I've been ripped off so all thai women have to be tarts posts

[Morakot]

my ex girlfriend who I always stay with, in her 1.2 mil condo her plastic surgeon boyfriend bought her.

Could be worse. I lent my ex 1.2 million for plastic surgery; now I'm 1.2 million short and don't know what she looks like.

[F4UCorsair]

Why did you tell her you'll be staying with an ex?? Why not 'with friends'? You can be too honest, to your detriment.

I don't think you're being a dick, just way too much info given, unnecessarily.

[roo860]

It is not very common for a Thai girl to have a male (best) friend. I went through a similar thing with my gf the first few years. Only after my gf visited my home country with me a couple of times and got to know my friends (many of them girls), did she understand. In Thai culture a woman never just sleeps at a man's home, or other way around. Unless he is her 'brother'...

Bang on the button sailor boy!!!!!!

[Colabamumbai]

My ex Thai g/f and myself still talk occasionally she called today to see if I had enough blankets, with the 8 degree weather. We have both moved on.... But nice of her to think of me.

[sead]

Just dont tell her?

[bendywire]

Trolling trolling trolling

[HikeFromLA]

Stick to your guns..., you are on the right track......

....., if you backslide, gf will only continue and possibly increase such needy behaviour in the future...., whatever happens, never bow to such energy vampire behaviour.....

To the OP:

Many normal girls can indeed handle a dick. Few, however, will stay with a pussy.

So yes, stand your ground.

But for your OWN sake, man up and drop the ex. Be even more of a dick, not less.

[wabothai]

Firefly: you are full of it.

[Guest]

I read your post, the replies, and many of your responses to the replies, and I do understand your viewpoint. However, in my opinion, you are not being a "dick" per se, but you are being pretty clueless about feelings, perceptions, and relationships... particularly with regard to women, and specifically Thai women.

I get your point that this ex was "a long time ago" and all that... and I get that how you feel about your ex now is a lot different from when you were together. In my case, I would not eat dinner in the same restaurant at the same time as my ex... let alone say in her apartment. But to each his own and YMMV.

However, even if that were not the case, I would also never even consider putting myself in a position where I would have to explain / justify wanting to stay at my exes place to my current partner.

All you have to do is think about it logically and ask yourself one question... What is the likely outcome of this conversation?

Take out a piece of paper and draw a line down the middle... on the left, write down all the possible GOOD things that can come of that discussion... and on the right side, write down all of the possible BAD outcomes...

Then ask yourself if the value of avoiding those bad outcomes is worth the cost of a hotel room and you will know what to do next.

Bingo! Well said !