Starting a social life

[Lewthetraveler]

I hope to eventually live in Chiang Mai for at least a few months and am wondering how to get some sort of social like.

By that I don't mean specifically dating, but just meeting people with approximately the same interests. I come from an academinc background, while not a confirmed non-drinker, I don't enjoy the bar scene and don't plan on 25 year old bar girls for my soul mates.

(Money is not an issue, I have plenty enough so I don't need to earn any.)

I am an avid photographer and traveler, like the outdoors and read a lot.

While not a gym rat, I go 3x a week to keep myself from aging any faster than necessary.

During my years as a research scientist, I taught basic statistics and would be happy tutoring as an entree to the academic life in some way.

Any suggestions on how to craft a life when I'm finally there?

TIA,

L

[tonray]

With s stay of only a few months you are in all reality a tourist. You likely will not be able to forge any relationships with locals in that time frame so your target should be expats. I believe there is a very active expat social scene in Chiang Mai.

You can start here and I am confident you can meet some new and interesting people.

http://www.chiangmaicitylife.com/

[Lewthetraveler]

Thanks.

If the first 6 months are good, I will stay on (I think)

[mcfish]

Thanks.

If the first 6 months are good, I will stay on (I think)

Switching from 2 months to 6 months? you need to be clear on this as the time frame swings from tourist to possibly an expat

Sent from my SC-01D using Tapatalk

[jobin]

Lew, you can't work for pay. You can't work for charity. Suggest you remove that idea from your agenda. The LAW here is too tight and the ENFORCERS too strict to permit aliens to work and take money from Thai people. And if an academia work permit is your goal, nearly impossible if age over 60.

Have you ever lived in Asia? Maybe Korea, Japan, Taiwan, China, PI, Indo, even India? If not, then big adjustments in mental attitude will be needed to accept many features of the Asian life: some very pleasant but others are nearly intolerable.

If you have a USA passport, as i do, consider this route. Walk in on a 30 day visitor stamp. That is easily extended here to 90 days. During those 90 days get the paperwork in order and near the end of that term apply for one year retirement extension, and multiple re-entry stamp. Then you are set for the next year in T'land and tourism in Asia, no questions asked.

On first visitor stamp, find a cheap room (all in under 5k baht/month), get the bank account, etc. As many will say straight out: avoid long term commitments, eg, marriage, buy condo, 3 yr house lease, 60 month car payments, etc. Finding a suitable social life here, or anywhere not home, will be tough. As we age, most of us become insular and less accepting of the jerks around us and there are many to fit that category.

I see many farangs around town these days. Who wants to meet me? Damn few coz our mutual lives have hardly any intersections. Language chops out 48%, age 40%, financial circumstances 10%, and how many are left for you, or me, to interact with?

Wish you the best whether in CM, Bali or Hanoi.

[flyDelight]

Try not stick with foreigners that's too easy but build a network of locals if you really want to experience Thailand. Unless you need lot's of serious talks. My first 10 years living in Thailand I never went along with whiteskins more trying to avoid them. Foreigners are boring they know everything better and find it important to talk about this.

[pgrahmm]

I have few farangs in my social circle → and prefer it that way......Alot of us are like that....The one's we do associate with are for the most part from my home country....But not all....

My advice to you is to join the CM expats club....They have spinoff groups covering most interests....That should get things started....You can pick or choose from there....There's also a weekly Scrabble meet up which might interest you as well as various sports - volleyball/badminton/softball you might be interested in...

Just eating/being out and about living downtown will get you out among the locals....

[FolkGuitar]

While I enjoy chatting with my Thai friends, even after many years living here my Passa Thai skills aren't up to the levels of conversation that I'm able to have with my Farang friends. Sitting with a cold beer and discussing football doesn't require the same vocabulary set needed to debate the fundamental principles of morals or the nexus between quantum physics and religion.

I think that to be happy in a location, one needs a wide variety of friends from all sides of the street. You can find that easily in Chiang Mai, with the various organizations, clubs, meetings, etc., that go on all the time. As mentioned, the expats group, Chiang Mai CityLife, Steve Yarnold's "What's On in Chiang Mai" newsletter.... there are dozens of avenues to explore. Wine tasting, tea tasting, beer guzzling... it's all out there.

[NancyL]

http://www.chiangmaiexpatsclub.com/

https://www.facebook.com/Chiang-Mai-Expats-Club-286223608211692/

Check out the Chiang Mai Expats Club. They have Outside Group Activities, or clubs-within-a-club devoted to special interests http://www.chiangmaiexpatsclub.com/activities/ There is one for photography and another for travel.

People who are in town for just a few months are welcome to join in the club activities. It's quite common for people to come here to evaluate if relocation to Chiang Mai is right for them.

I find that my social life now, in my 60s, is more active than it's ever been at any other time in my life. And it's not all just expats. I'm involved in a Rotary club that does many projects with Thai rotary clubs and we've become friends with Thai people that way -- taking trips with them, being invited to their homes for dinner, and family events like weddings and funerals. Involvement in Rotary is a good way for a foreigner to do community service on an irregular basis.

[MaeJoMTB]

Buy a bicycle,

Groups for mountain bikers, groups for road bikers.

Or just cycle up the mountain every day like the rest of us (when it isn't raining).

Plenty of hiking and walking groups too.

Avoid the expats club.

Walking dead only, circled by sharks looking to take a bite.

Edited January 27, 2016 by MaeJoMTB

[flyDelight]

Buy a bicycle,

Groups for mountain bikers, groups for road bikers.

Or just cycle up the mountain every day like the rest of us (when it isn't raining).

Plenty of hiking and walking groups too.

Avoid the expats club.

Walking dead only, circled by sharks looking to take a bite.

'like the rest of us' ??

Guess you not refer to the average beer addict fatbelly sexpat on Thaivisa.

[NancyL]

Buy a bicycle,

Groups for mountain bikers, groups for road bikers.

Or just cycle up the mountain every day like the rest of us (when it isn't raining).

Plenty of hiking and walking groups too.

Avoid the expats club.

Walking dead only, circled by sharks looking to take a bite.

When was the last time you went to a meeting of the Expats Club --- sounds more like a description of a their gatherings in 2011. The sharks were thrown overboard a long time ago and if you think that just because someone has grey hair then they're "the walking dead", well, then shame-on-you.

In other posts you've said that everyone over age 60 pretty much lives isolated miserable lives. I think that's the old age you're planning for yourself, isn't it? You claim to be an athlete. Don't athletes engage in self-visualization of their upcoming performance? Is this what you envision for your own senior years? How sad. For me, it's the best time of my life. No need to work. Able to sleep in most mornings. Time to do what I really want to do. Living in a great place. More friends now than I've ever had at any other time in my life.

[NancyL]

Living in a great place. ..... More friends now than I've ever had at any other time in my life.

deleted post removed

Yes, Le Brunch really is a nice restaurant isn't it? We find it so convenient to have a reasonably-priced European-style bistro right in the lobby of our condo. The owner used to work at The Oriental Hotel in Bangkok and the Four Seasons here in Chiang Mai. Everything is prepared to perfection. What a great convenience to be able to pop in there for breakfast and lunch for less than 150 baht. And almost always run into friends for a chat. Life is good.

And, if someone wants to invite a visitor up to their room -- that's their own business. I'm not going to pry into the purpose of their visit, just so it doesn't disturb me. This place is well-built and I never hear noise from neighbors. The only people I see loitering in the lobby are kids and parents -- for some reason people bring their toddlers down there to play. And that's fine, because it's not near anyone's front door.

Edited January 28, 2016 by Support

[FolkGuitar]

Living in a great place. ..... More friends now than I've ever had at any other time in my life.

Which brings to mind yet another venue for meeting and making new friends... the condo building itself! Living in an apartment building gives ready access to dozens of like-minded people, as compared with living in an isolated single-family dwelling.

I often see groups of building residents gathering outside my building or grouping in the lobby, and a waiting Songtaow or mini-van in front of the door to take them on some group excursion, happily chatting together as they begin their day or evening. They seem to keep so busy with these group excursions that I doubt many of them would be able to recall so easily the number of a young bar girl.

[Tidybeard]

Hi Lewthetraveller

Swap one of your gym sessions for a run / walk with the local Hash House Harriers.. Wherever you are in the World you will usually find a club organizing walks / runs in the local countryside. Always welcoming and good fun ... usually full of interesting people from all walks of life.

http://www.chiangmaihhh.com/

Enjoy...

[mankondang]

http://www.chiangmaiexpatsclub.com/

https://www.facebook.com/Chiang-Mai-Expats-Club-286223608211692/

Check out the Chiang Mai Expats Club. They have Outside Group Activities, or clubs-within-a-club devoted to special interests http://www.chiangmaiexpatsclub.com/activities/ There is one for photography and another for travel.

People who are in town for just a few months are welcome to join in the club activities. It's quite common for people to come here to evaluate if relocation to Chiang Mai is right for them.

I find that my social life now, in my 60s, is more active than it's ever been at any other time in my life. And it's not all just expats. I'm involved in a Rotary club that does many projects with Thai rotary clubs and we've become friends with Thai people that way -- taking trips with them, being invited to their homes for dinner, and family events like weddings and funerals. Involvement in Rotary is a good way for a foreigner to do community service on an irregular basis.

Sorry to disagree. I have found the Expats Club to be racist in it's attitudes and adopt a superior attitude towards locals. On my many visits the microphone was used by farangs and farangesses to entertain the pro American humor of the person holding it...loving the sound of their own voice, and overstating and exaggerating the wonderful way they helped locals...when in truth all they were doing was seeking self praise. Let's face it, by it's very definition an ExPats club, not a Thai+Expat Club, is based on select races.

[derator01]

An inappropriate post has been removed from view. Replies were left as they are quite appropriate.

If you can't post something nice, and on topic, please don't.

[TheAppletons]

Sorry to disagree. I have found the Expats Club to be racist in it's attitudes and adopt a superior attitude towards locals. On my many visits the microphone was used by farangs and farangesses to entertain the pro American humor of the person holding it...loving the sound of their own voice, and overstating and exaggerating the wonderful way they helped locals...when in truth all they were doing was seeking self praise. Let's face it, by it's very definition an ExPats club, not a Thai+Expat Club, is based on select races.

That is one of the more hilariously misguided applications of political correctness I've seen in quite some time.

So any expat club - anywhere - is a racist organization, lol? That's laughably naive.

The local Expat Club is a great place to meet people with common backgrounds when you first arrive. OP would be wise to at least check out a couple of the bi-monthly breakfast gatherings.

Edited January 28, 2016 by TheAppletons

[Bill97]

http://www.chiangmaiexpatsclub.com/

https://www.facebook.com/Chiang-Mai-Expats-Club-286223608211692/

Check out the Chiang Mai Expats Club. They have Outside Group Activities, or clubs-within-a-club devoted to special interests http://www.chiangmaiexpatsclub.com/activities/ There is one for photography and another for travel.

People who are in town for just a few months are welcome to join in the club activities. It's quite common for people to come here to evaluate if relocation to Chiang Mai is right for them.

I find that my social life now, in my 60s, is more active than it's ever been at any other time in my life. And it's not all just expats. I'm involved in a Rotary club that does many projects with Thai rotary clubs and we've become friends with Thai people that way -- taking trips with them, being invited to their homes for dinner, and family events like weddings and funerals. Involvement in Rotary is a good way for a foreigner to do community service on an irregular basis.

Sorry to disagree. I have found the Expats Club to be racist in it's attitudes and adopt a superior attitude towards locals. On my many visits the microphone was used by farangs and farangesses to entertain the pro American humor of the person holding it...loving the sound of their own voice, and overstating and exaggerating the wonderful way they helped locals...when in truth all they were doing was seeking self praise. Let's face it, by it's very definition an ExPats club, not a Thai+Expat Club, is based on select races.

That superior attitude toward locals has been repeatedly expressed. They don't even know they are doing it.

[MaeJoMTB]

In other posts you've said that everyone over age 60 pretty much lives isolated miserable lives. I think that's the old age you're planning for yourself, isn't it?

I'm 60 .....

My 4 year old son is playing on the sofa next to me,

Last night he was sleeping in the bed beside me,

Mil is fixing breakfast in the kitchen,

Teen girl is at high school,

Wife is visiting pals in BK, back tomorrow for university

Can't see myself being alone for at least another 10 years.

I have no plans for the future, too old to make plans.

@OP

Come to Thailand, meet a much younger woman, have a kid together.

Makes for an active social life in your twilight years.

It's not for everyone, but here anything's possible.

Edited January 28, 2016 by MaeJoMTB

[TheSiemReaper]

Meetup.com has quite a few (both booze-filled and not) social groups in Chiang Mai. There are tons of Facebook groups dedicated to different interests and pursuits in Chiang Mai (including as I recently discovered one that promotes polygamy/polyamory - which was rather odd to say the least). Then there's the time honoured tactic of just getting out of the house and meeting folks as you wander about...

[sappersrest]

Try the photographic group . http://www.meetup.com/CMPhotoGroup/

[hml367]

Meetup.com has quite a few (both booze-filled and not) social groups in Chiang Mai. There are tons of Facebook groups dedicated to different interests and pursuits in Chiang Mai (including as I recently discovered one that promotes polygamy/polyamory - which was rather odd to say the least). Then there's the time honoured tactic of just getting out of the house and meeting folks as you wander about...

"... just getting out of the house and meeting folks as you wander about...." That is, as you intimate, the way it was done before the recent influx of many people that essentially live completely within the first or second ring roads.

There is so much to see outside of the city of Chiang Mai it is really amazing. The difference, in my opinion, to what one might find in somewhere like Hawaii, where I lived, is that it is not as accessible an organized, touring kind of thing. That makes it more fun, unless you are looking for the tours (think "tourist").

Far too many foreigners now seem to think, at least from what I read posted on ThaiVisa (not just the Chiang Mai forum), that Thai people are unfriendly, or more unfriendly than before, or hard to meet and learn from. I have found that to be the opposite outside of the bigger cities. It is also possible inside the big cities, depending on what a person's attitude is ~ “Whether you think you can, or you think you can't--you're right.”

― Henry Ford

[NancyL]

http://www.chiangmaiexpatsclub.com/

https://www.facebook.com/Chiang-Mai-Expats-Club-286223608211692/

Check out the Chiang Mai Expats Club. They have Outside Group Activities, or clubs-within-a-club devoted to special interests http://www.chiangmaiexpatsclub.com/activities/ There is one for photography and another for travel.

People who are in town for just a few months are welcome to join in the club activities. It's quite common for people to come here to evaluate if relocation to Chiang Mai is right for them.

I find that my social life now, in my 60s, is more active than it's ever been at any other time in my life. And it's not all just expats. I'm involved in a Rotary club that does many projects with Thai rotary clubs and we've become friends with Thai people that way -- taking trips with them, being invited to their homes for dinner, and family events like weddings and funerals. Involvement in Rotary is a good way for a foreigner to do community service on an irregular basis.

Sorry to disagree. I have found the Expats Club to be racist in it's attitudes and adopt a superior attitude towards locals. On my many visits the microphone was used by farangs and farangesses to entertain the pro American humor of the person holding it...loving the sound of their own voice, and overstating and exaggerating the wonderful way they helped locals...when in truth all they were doing was seeking self praise. Let's face it, by it's very definition an ExPats club, not a Thai+Expat Club, is based on select races.

Again, I'll repeat -- it's been a while since you've been to a CEC meeting, hasn't it? The American male MC who told the really poor jokes left the country in 2014. The MC at the last meeting was British and the other officers who spoke were Swiss, Australian and, yes, one American. They're not trying to entertain with humor -- that almost always falls flat, doesn't it?

And, I'm sorry, but by it's very definition an Expats club is a social club for people who are foreigners -- but Thai people are welcome as members and one of the purposes of the club is to help expats to adapt and adjust to living in Thailand.

[bazza40]

There are plenty of different social groups in CM, depending on your interests. Bikers, golfers, photographers etc.etc. Rest assured you will not run out of photographic subjects very easily.

Be wary of falangs selling services, they don't necessarily have your interests at heart.

Even assuming you could get a work permit to teach basic statistics here, I suspect it would fall on deaf ears. Thainess would override that kind of logical Western thinking most of the time. Thai drivers operate on the thin edge of probabilities on a daily basis.

You may not be interested in bar girls; however, Thai women are among the best at seduction. A word of advice. Leave 80 - 90% of your assets in your home country.

[cyberfarang]

In other posts you've said that everyone over age 60 pretty much lives isolated miserable lives. I think that's the old age you're planning for yourself, isn't it?

I'm 60 .....

My 4 year old son is playing on the sofa next to me,

Last night he was sleeping in the bed beside me,

Mil is fixing breakfast in the kitchen,

Teen girl is at high school,

Wife is visiting pals in BK, back tomorrow for university

Can't see myself being alone for at least another 10 years.

I have no plans for the future, too old to make plans.

@OP

Come to Thailand, meet a much younger woman, have a kid together.

Makes for an active social life in your twilight years.

It's not for everyone, but here anything's possible.

Your words say it all and also full of easy talk. Chiang Mai is ideal for people old in body, old in mind that don`t see much of a future for themselves and have thrown it all in. I always think of old men with young Thai women not as couples but as supporter/carer types of relationships hoping their kids will look after them later on in life.

The people that for reasons can`t resist the lure of Thailand, still active regardless how old they are, young minded and don`t want to be settle downs should think about aiming for other parts of Thailand other then Chiang Mai because they`re not going to find much here to meet their expectations. They`re going to be hard pushed to find groups with persons younger then 60.

[steven23]

I cannot believe that people in 21st century, internet era, where all informations are available online, they still cannot find appropriate amount of information. I never....but never, wanted to live in Thailand, part of it was my prejudice toward southeast asia, part that I know, common knowledge that Europe is 1000 time better in mentality and freedom.

• BUT ​ I am here now 4th year and it is getting better
• How? By being realistic and negative, I never expected that Thailand is developed and in level of Germany,
• yes, Thailand is germany of Southeast asia, very developed, good health care, education so so, but good research oriented programs,
• wonderful food, surrounding and good salary for farangs ( exclude teacher and call operators, I think they have overrated professions)

I understand some of you, but please if you cannot succeed in thailand is your fault, not thai fault

Good quote for haters: "There can be no heaven, look at my father, he is just bones, there is no heaven, no soul, we are just energy boxes, and when the energy stops, the jawbone hangs off at an angle, and the body stops pretending to be a person"--Justin Evans (A Good and Happy Child)

Dont get me wrong, I still see many wrong things here.

[Just1Voice]

For me, Chiang Mai is the perfect place to live, for a number of reasons. I've been here, married, for over 7 years, and there are places I still haven't discovered or seen. I don't socialize in any of the "ex-pat" groups, other than the mandatory Thanksgiving & Christmas dinners, and that's mainly for my wife's benefit instead of mine. Because of my past, it's hard to find others with similar experiences, and I accept that.

I have a good life, with a wife who is only 10 years my junior, and one of the best adopted sons that any man could want. I have a good, extended Thai family that has, on more then one occasion, let me know that if anything ever happened to my wife, they will be there to take care of me. And only once in the past 7 years has any of my Thai family ever asked to borrow a stang. That was for an emergency situation and I had no problem with doing it. And the money was repaid promptly. We live in a very nice house, in a quiet moo ban about 18 kilometers from the city, and I have great Thai neighbors.

My pleasures are my family, and my bike road trips. Those got sidelined for 2 years due to a stroke that knocked me for a loop, but Ive pretty much recovered from that, for the most part, bought a new CB300f last month, and next month, when the weather warms up a bit, I've already planned a 4-6 day road trip to Udon Thani, and then maybe down to Ubon.

Chiang Mai is no different than any other city in that there are good things and bad things about it, but for me, the good far outweighs the bad, and I can't think of anyplace else I would rather live out my life.

[Suradit69]

Sorry to disagree. I have found the Expats Club to be racist in it's attitudes and adopt a superior attitude towards locals. On my many visits the microphone was used by farangs and farangesses to entertain the pro American humor of the person holding it...loving the sound of their own voice, and overstating and exaggerating the wonderful way they helped locals...when in truth all they were doing was seeking self praise. Let's face it, by it's very definition an ExPats club, not a Thai+Expat Club, is based on select races.

That is one of the more hilariously misguided applications of political correctness I've seen in quite some time.

So any expat club - anywhere - is a racist organization, lol? That's laughably naive.

The local Expat Club is a great place to meet people with common backgrounds when you first arrive. OP would be wise to at least check out a couple of the bi-monthly breakfast gatherings.

"So any expat club - anywhere - is a racist organization, lol? That's laughably naive."

Moving to a "foreign" country and immediately gravitating to other expats may not be racist, but it does imply an ironic xenophobia. And seeking the company of other foreigners who are intentionally isolating themselves from the locals is only likely to foster more isolation.

I've lived and/or worked in 4 countries since leaving the US about 40 years ago and in each of them there has been a formal or informal clustering of white western expats who, intentionally or not, built a wall around themselves and, subtly or openly, promoted an us versus them philosophy. Rather than fostering any better understanding of the local people or local customs, they emphasized the differences, almost always in a condescending fashion.

Of course it's nice to have some friends with similar roots and who are totally fluent in your language, but if I was living in my home country I would not join some club of people whose only shared interest was the color of their skin or that they felt lost in their new environment.

If you are uncomfortable or feel vulnerable living in Thailand and what to spend your time nattering on and on about this and that in Thailand that is unfathomable to you, that's up to you. I think you are denying yourself the personal experience of discovering Thailand first hand rather than through the jaundiced eyes of those who have spent their time here in a protective bubble.

And let's face it, these clubs tend to attract needy, clinging people who either are totally at sea or who need a captive audience.

Edited January 28, 2016 by Suradit69

[villagefarang]

If you like groups that is fine and there are many. I prefer to focus on activities I enjoy. If I happen to meet someone while doing something I enjoy that is great but regardless I have had a great time doing what I like to do. A forced attempt to make friends seems a bit too needy to me.