Starting a social life

[Aussie69]

For me, it's the best time of my life. No need to work. Able to sleep in most mornings. Time to do what I really want to do. Living in a great place. More friends now than I've ever had at any other time in my life.

Living the life. Nice attitude.

[cyberfarang]

For me, Chiang Mai is the perfect place to live, for a number of reasons. I've been here, married, for over 7 years, and there are places I still haven't discovered or seen. I don't socialize in any of the "ex-pat" groups, other than the mandatory Thanksgiving & Christmas dinners, and that's mainly for my wife's benefit instead of mine. Because of my past, it's hard to find others with similar experiences, and I accept that.

I have a good life, with a wife who is only 10 years my junior, and one of the best adopted sons that any man could want. I have a good, extended Thai family that has, on more then one occasion, let me know that if anything ever happened to my wife, they will be there to take care of me. And only once in the past 7 years has any of my Thai family ever asked to borrow a stang. That was for an emergency situation and I had no problem with doing it. And the money was repaid promptly. We live in a very nice house, in a quiet moo ban about 18 kilometers from the city, and I have great Thai neighbors.

My pleasures are my family, and my bike road trips. Those got sidelined for 2 years due to a stroke that knocked me for a loop, but Ive pretty much recovered from that, for the most part, bought a new CB300f last month, and next month, when the weather warms up a bit, I've already planned a 4-6 day road trip to Udon Thani, and then maybe down to Ubon.

Chiang Mai is no different than any other city in that there are good things and bad things about it, but for me, the good far outweighs the bad, and I can't think of anyplace else I would rather live out my life.

I`m very happy for you, but what does this have to do with starting a social life in Chiang Mai?

[puukao]

maybe take thai classes, join facebook groups and message users, hang out coffee places, post here..

my only other advice is.....if your gut feeling thinks a bloke is a little off and maybe lost the plot......don't walk, run away...

[FolkGuitar]

I'm wondering how joining a club somehow stops anyone from experiencing life outside the club?

Some of these comments seem to intimate that if someone enjoys ABC it means they are 'afraid' of XYZ.

I was never a big club joiner for my social life, but clubs do serve a very valid purpose. In my case, I joined a fencing club as it's a bit difficult to fence alone. For a golfer, I imagine playing with a friend is more fun than playing alone.... not to suggest that golf for its own sake isn't enjoyble. Humans are gregarious by nature, and most tend to enjoy sharing experiences. Most... but not all.

We expats ARE a very different breed. We don't often follow the crowd, and we are happy to do our own thing. But doing our own thing doesn't negate the enjoyment of doing things together with others at times. Those others can be either local or foreign. That's an individual's likes or dislikes, needs or wants. No shame in any of it.

[buddhalady]

http://www.chiangmaiexpatsclub.com/

https://www.facebook.com/Chiang-Mai-Expats-Club-286223608211692/

Check out the Chiang Mai Expats Club. They have Outside Group Activities, or clubs-within-a-club devoted to special interests http://www.chiangmaiexpatsclub.com/activities/ There is one for photography and another for travel.

People who are in town for just a few months are welcome to join in the club activities. It's quite common for people to come here to evaluate if relocation to Chiang Mai is right for them.

I find that my social life now, in my 60s, is more active than it's ever been at any other time in my life. And it's not all just expats. I'm involved in a Rotary club that does many projects with Thai rotary clubs and we've become friends with Thai people that way -- taking trips with them, being invited to their homes for dinner, and family events like weddings and funerals. Involvement in Rotary is a good way for a foreigner to do community service on an irregular basis.

Sorry to disagree. I have found the Expats Club to be racist in it's attitudes and adopt a superior attitude towards locals. On my many visits the microphone was used by farangs and farangesses to entertain the pro American humor of the person holding it...loving the sound of their own voice, and overstating and exaggerating the wonderful way they helped locals...when in truth all they were doing was seeking self praise. Let's face it, by it's very definition an ExPats club, not a Thai+Expat Club, is based on select races.

Again, I'll repeat -- it's been a while since you've been to a CEC meeting, hasn't it? The American male MC who told the really poor jokes left the country in 2014. The MC at the last meeting was British and the other officers who spoke were Swiss, Australian and, yes, one American. They're not trying to entertain with humor -- that almost always falls flat, doesn't it?

And, I'm sorry, but by it's very definition an Expats club is a social club for people who are foreigners -- but Thai people are welcome as members and one of the purposes of the club is to help expats to adapt and adjust to living in Thailand.

As usual on Thai Visa Forum, this thread is screwed towards elderly male expats who’re here for different reasons than those of their unmarried/widowed female equivalents. Us ladies have no interest in bars, booze or many of the other alternatives mentioned here.

In the old days, there existed a lively, international group of intelligent women from all financial levels, some married, some not, who got together for varied activities - most of which were highly affordable even for those of us on frozen British pensions. Sadly, almost all members of this large group are now elsewhere, some returning to their home countries and others just moving on. They’re much missed.

As regards the Expats Club, I was one of the earliest members, having joined before the sharks moved in and took over. It was fun in those days, with many small local, relatively impecunious charities being helped, but sadly declined at an astonishing rate of knots for reasons well-known and deplored by a good number of long-term expat residents. Nowadays it seems the focus is on cliquey, hi-so, see-and-be-seen events rather than the establishing of a genuine, affordable-for-all, supportive community for those who’ve chosen to spend their later years outside their own countries. Especially lone females!

As regards the relatively recent ‘cleaning up’ of the club – are its present members really convinced that others of a certain persuasion are not still trying to infiltrate? I don’t take any notice of rumors and, obviously, don’t attend meetings, but…

OK, I’m slightly off topic right now – to return – where are the intelligent, well-informed, broadminded ladies, married or not and across the financial spectrum, who lightened our and their lives almost a decade ago via support and genuine friendship?

[TheAppletons]

Sorry to disagree. I have found the Expats Club to be racist in it's attitudes and adopt a superior attitude towards locals. On my many visits the microphone was used by farangs and farangesses to entertain the pro American humor of the person holding it...loving the sound of their own voice, and overstating and exaggerating the wonderful way they helped locals...when in truth all they were doing was seeking self praise. Let's face it, by it's very definition an ExPats club, not a Thai+Expat Club, is based on select races.

That is one of the more hilariously misguided applications of political correctness I've seen in quite some time.

So any expat club - anywhere - is a racist organization, lol? That's laughably naive.

The local Expat Club is a great place to meet people with common backgrounds when you first arrive. OP would be wise to at least check out a couple of the bi-monthly breakfast gatherings.

"So any expat club - anywhere - is a racist organization, lol? That's laughably naive."

Moving to a "foreign" country and immediately gravitating to other expats may not be racist, but it does imply an ironic xenophobia. And seeking the company of other foreigners who are intentionally isolating themselves from the locals is only likely to foster more isolation.

I've lived and/or worked in 4 countries since leaving the US about 40 years ago and in each of them there has been a formal or informal clustering of white western expats who, intentionally or not, built a wall around themselves and, subtly or openly, promoted an us versus them philosophy. Rather than fostering any better understanding of the local people or local customs, they emphasized the differences, almost always in a condescending fashion.

Of course it's nice to have some friends with similar roots and who are totally fluent in your language, but if I was living in my home country I would not join some club of people whose only shared interest was the color of their skin or that they felt lost in their new environment.

If you are uncomfortable or feel vulnerable living in Thailand and what to spend your time nattering on and on about this and that in Thailand that is unfathomable to you, that's up to you. I think you are denying yourself the personal experience of discovering Thailand first hand rather than through the jaundiced eyes of those who have spent their time here in a protective bubble.

And let's face it, these clubs tend to attract needy, clinging people who either are totally at sea or who need a captive audience.

Yes because attending a meeting once a month means you can't do anything else. Give me a break.

If I were uncomfortable or felt vulnerable living in Thailand, I'd move. Please don't ascribe to me the fictitious characteristics you've developed in your own mind about what constitutes how someone "should live" in this or any other country.

Regarding people who need a captive audience - enjoy posting a lot on this forum, do you? Oh wait, does this mean you are "ironically xenophobic" since you post on a forum that is overwhelmingly geared toward Westerners who live in Thailand?

[Saan]

Amongst the range of activities available to expats in Chiang Mai are there any lunch clubs?

In Australia there were a variety, some going to different venues each meeting, others using the same venue and some had speakers. It usually was a mix of good company and good food.

[Chicog]

Go and have a drink at the Sangdee Gallery one night.

An interesting mix of arty types.

[Just1Voice]

For me, Chiang Mai is the perfect place to live, for a number of reasons. I've been here, married, for over 7 years, and there are places I still haven't discovered or seen. I don't socialize in any of the "ex-pat" groups, other than the mandatory Thanksgiving & Christmas dinners, and that's mainly for my wife's benefit instead of mine. Because of my past, it's hard to find others with similar experiences, and I accept that.

I have a good life, with a wife who is only 10 years my junior, and one of the best adopted sons that any man could want. I have a good, extended Thai family that has, on more then one occasion, let me know that if anything ever happened to my wife, they will be there to take care of me. And only once in the past 7 years has any of my Thai family ever asked to borrow a stang. That was for an emergency situation and I had no problem with doing it. And the money was repaid promptly. We live in a very nice house, in a quiet moo ban about 18 kilometers from the city, and I have great Thai neighbors.

My pleasures are my family, and my bike road trips. Those got sidelined for 2 years due to a stroke that knocked me for a loop, but Ive pretty much recovered from that, for the most part, bought a new CB300f last month, and next month, when the weather warms up a bit, I've already planned a 4-6 day road trip to Udon Thani, and then maybe down to Ubon.

Chiang Mai is no different than any other city in that there are good things and bad things about it, but for me, the good far outweighs the bad, and I can't think of anyplace else I would rather live out my life.

I`m very happy for you, but what does this have to do with starting a social life in Chiang Mai?

Boy, you missed the point entirely. Ok, so let me make it a little easier for you. It was to show that there are alternative life styles, and that joining "groups" isn't necessarily for everyone. Great for those who want/need them, but not everyone does. We each have to find our own happiness, and that doesn't always mean "going with the crowd". I wish the OP luck in finding what he is looking for, but there are other alternatives. I think me and villagefarang have pretty much the same outlook on things, and if I ever get up to his neck of the woods, I'll invite him out for a cup of coffee.

[Chicog]

For me, Chiang Mai is the perfect place to live, for a number of reasons. I've been here, married, for over 7 years, and there are places I still haven't discovered or seen. I don't socialize in any of the "ex-pat" groups, other than the mandatory Thanksgiving & Christmas dinners, and that's mainly for my wife's benefit instead of mine. Because of my past, it's hard to find others with similar experiences, and I accept that.

I have a good life, with a wife who is only 10 years my junior, and one of the best adopted sons that any man could want. I have a good, extended Thai family that has, on more then one occasion, let me know that if anything ever happened to my wife, they will be there to take care of me. And only once in the past 7 years has any of my Thai family ever asked to borrow a stang. That was for an emergency situation and I had no problem with doing it. And the money was repaid promptly. We live in a very nice house, in a quiet moo ban about 18 kilometers from the city, and I have great Thai neighbors.

My pleasures are my family, and my bike road trips. Those got sidelined for 2 years due to a stroke that knocked me for a loop, but Ive pretty much recovered from that, for the most part, bought a new CB300f last month, and next month, when the weather warms up a bit, I've already planned a 4-6 day road trip to Udon Thani, and then maybe down to Ubon.

Chiang Mai is no different than any other city in that there are good things and bad things about it, but for me, the good far outweighs the bad, and I can't think of anyplace else I would rather live out my life.

I`m very happy for you, but what does this have to do with starting a social life in Chiang Mai?

Boy, you missed the point entirely.

I think you did, he's asking for a social life not a wife.

[cyberfarang]

http://www.chiangmaiexpatsclub.com/

https://www.facebook.com/Chiang-Mai-Expats-Club-286223608211692/

Check out the Chiang Mai Expats Club. They have Outside Group Activities, or clubs-within-a-club devoted to special interests http://www.chiangmaiexpatsclub.com/activities/ There is one for photography and another for travel.

People who are in town for just a few months are welcome to join in the club activities. It's quite common for people to come here to evaluate if relocation to Chiang Mai is right for them.

I find that my social life now, in my 60s, is more active than it's ever been at any other time in my life. And it's not all just expats. I'm involved in a Rotary club that does many projects with Thai rotary clubs and we've become friends with Thai people that way -- taking trips with them, being invited to their homes for dinner, and family events like weddings and funerals. Involvement in Rotary is a good way for a foreigner to do community service on an irregular basis.

Sorry to disagree. I have found the Expats Club to be racist in it's attitudes and adopt a superior attitude towards locals. On my many visits the microphone was used by farangs and farangesses to entertain the pro American humor of the person holding it...loving the sound of their own voice, and overstating and exaggerating the wonderful way they helped locals...when in truth all they were doing was seeking self praise. Let's face it, by it's very definition an ExPats club, not a Thai+Expat Club, is based on select races.

Again, I'll repeat -- it's been a while since you've been to a CEC meeting, hasn't it? The American male MC who told the really poor jokes left the country in 2014. The MC at the last meeting was British and the other officers who spoke were Swiss, Australian and, yes, one American. They're not trying to entertain with humor -- that almost always falls flat, doesn't it?

And, I'm sorry, but by it's very definition an Expats club is a social club for people who are foreigners -- but Thai people are welcome as members and one of the purposes of the club is to help expats to adapt and adjust to living in Thailand.

As usual on Thai Visa Forum, this thread is screwed towards elderly male expats who’re here for different reasons than those of their unmarried/widowed female equivalents. Us ladies have no interest in bars, booze or many of the other alternatives mentioned here.

In the old days, there existed a lively, international group of intelligent women from all financial levels, some married, some not, who got together for varied activities - most of which were highly affordable even for those of us on frozen British pensions. Sadly, almost all members of this large group are now elsewhere, some returning to their home countries and others just moving on. They’re much missed.

As regards the Expats Club, I was one of the earliest members, having joined before the sharks moved in and took over. It was fun in those days, with many small local, relatively impecunious charities being helped, but sadly declined at an astonishing rate of knots for reasons well-known and deplored by a good number of long-term expat residents. Nowadays it seems the focus is on cliquey, hi-so, see-and-be-seen events rather than the establishing of a genuine, affordable-for-all, supportive community for those who’ve chosen to spend their later years outside their own countries. Especially lone females!

As regards the relatively recent ‘cleaning up’ of the club – are its present members really convinced that others of a certain persuasion are not still trying to infiltrate? I don’t take any notice of rumors and, obviously, don’t attend meetings, but…

OK, I’m slightly off topic right now – to return – where are the intelligent, well-informed, broadminded ladies, married or not and across the financial spectrum, who lightened our and their lives almost a decade ago via support and genuine friendship?

You`re trying to recreate times gone by and that`s not possible. What exactly are you looking for?

There are ladies groups on social sites if you care to look, dance, dining and yoga if you are into that. You have to remember that in Thailand foreigners may not be here permanent and the faces change over time. It`s not easy making long term friends in Thailand that can be one of the drawbacks for long stayers. I think it depends on how much you are prepared to put yourself out and go places to meet people, because they sure aren't going to come knocking at your door saying, hi, would you like to be my friend.

[tomyumchai]

Buy a bicycle,

Groups for mountain bikers, groups for road bikers.

Or just cycle up the mountain every day like the rest of us (when it isn't raining).

Plenty of hiking and walking groups too.

Avoid the expats club.

Walking dead only, circled by sharks looking to take a bite.

'like the rest of us' ??

Guess you not refer to the average beer addict fatbelly sexpat on Thaivisa.

wow! your phone can ACTUALLY SEE every other poster on thai visa can it? or are you yet another one of the forum turds that thinks hes superoir to everyone else?

so brainiac, what brand beer is on my table? and which finger am i holding up to you?

[mankondang]

http://www.chiangmaiexpatsclub.com/

https://www.facebook.com/Chiang-Mai-Expats-Club-286223608211692/

Check out the Chiang Mai Expats Club. They have Outside Group Activities, or clubs-within-a-club devoted to special interests http://www.chiangmaiexpatsclub.com/activities/ There is one for photography and another for travel.

People who are in town for just a few months are welcome to join in the club activities. It's quite common for people to come here to evaluate if relocation to Chiang Mai is right for them.

I find that my social life now, in my 60s, is more active than it's ever been at any other time in my life. And it's not all just expats. I'm involved in a Rotary club that does many projects with Thai rotary clubs and we've become friends with Thai people that way -- taking trips with them, being invited to their homes for dinner, and family events like weddings and funerals. Involvement in Rotary is a good way for a foreigner to do community service on an irregular basis.

Sorry to disagree. I have found the Expats Club to be racist in it's attitudes and adopt a superior attitude towards locals. On my many visits the microphone was used by farangs and farangesses to entertain the pro American humor of the person holding it...loving the sound of their own voice, and overstating and exaggerating the wonderful way they helped locals...when in truth all they were doing was seeking self praise. Let's face it, by it's very definition an ExPats club, not a Thai+Expat Club, is based on select races.

Again, I'll repeat -- it's been a while since you've been to a CEC meeting, hasn't it? The American male MC who told the really poor jokes left the country in 2014. The MC at the last meeting was British and the other officers who spoke were Swiss, Australian and, yes, one American. They're not trying to entertain with humor -- that almost always falls flat, doesn't it?

And, I'm sorry, but by it's very definition an Expats club is a social club for people who are foreigners -- but Thai people are welcome as members and one of the purposes of the club is to help expats to adapt and adjust to living in Thailand.

I realise that you have a vested emotional interest in your "club for people who are foreigners" (farangs). However, no matter what euphemisms you choose, the fact remains that, within your club, you promote segregation, based upon, primarily English speaking people, rather than intergrate with the people, the culture and the language of your new found home.

PS. I'm sure the token Thais YOU leave into your mist are so greatful for your benevolence.

[slipperylobster]

You nailed the most important part....staying away from the "hook" bars (or at least limiting visits). Date somebody with a real job, if possible. My buddy from south africa nabbed a beauty. Thirty years old and worked auto sales for toyota. Could not believe his luck. My lady is wholesome, and much closer to my age. Both girls are university grads and had gone through a divorce with a thai (no previous farang relationships).

Seems true that you can judge a man (although I try not to) by the type of friends he keeps. The best friends I met were people that I came into contact with away from the seedier places, although I had gone through tough times and addictions myself. Not wholly reformed...but am doing pretty good.

Edited January 28, 2016 by slipperylobster

[buddhalady]

Take your point, cyberfarang. but I'm more mourning the way things were here than attempting to recreate them - I'll leave that to the Expats' Club management! Dining - do you mean the Ladies' Lunch group? If so, I did try again with that last year - I was one of its original members ages ago - but found mostly the type of clique I'm trying to avoid plus a few tourists and snowbirds. Gave up, I'm afraid. There's another group, but I'm not sure they'd welcome a lone female...

I'm considering yoga - basic hatha - for different reasons, but have found that most of the studios advertising online offer courses for, short-term visitors and seem to be located in resorts. Not quite what I need as a total beginner at a later stage in life! My point was that the female crowd when I arrived here were mostly, in effect, long-stayers, although some had to move back home for medical reasons and others left as they weren't keen on the changes here.

Done the going places recently, unfortunately without success. Meetups, as mentioned elsewhere on this thread, might be a good idea, have to try one or two of the offerings.

Exactly what am I looking for? Good question - assuming you're a guy, perhaps you wouldn't quite understand - I've always thought that friendship amongst women is different that it's male equivalent. Having said that, in my home country I had good, strong friendships with several guys - perhaps that's another idea to explore???

[northernjohn]

Lew, you can't work for pay. You can't work for charity. Suggest you remove that idea from your agenda. The LAW here is too tight and the ENFORCERS too strict to permit aliens to work and take money from Thai people. And if an academia work permit is your goal, nearly impossible if age over 60.

Have you ever lived in Asia? Maybe Korea, Japan, Taiwan, China, PI, Indo, even India? If not, then big adjustments in mental attitude will be needed to accept many features of the Asian life: some very pleasant but others are nearly intolerable.

If you have a USA passport, as i do, consider this route. Walk in on a 30 day visitor stamp. That is easily extended here to 90 days. During those 90 days get the paperwork in order and near the end of that term apply for one year retirement extension, and multiple re-entry stamp. Then you are set for the next year in T'land and tourism in Asia, no questions asked.

On first visitor stamp, find a cheap room (all in under 5k baht/month), get the bank account, etc. As many will say straight out: avoid long term commitments, eg, marriage, buy condo, 3 yr house lease, 60 month car payments, etc. Finding a suitable social life here, or anywhere not home, will be tough. As we age, most of us become insular and less accepting of the jerks around us and there are many to fit that category.

I see many farangs around town these days. Who wants to meet me? Damn few coz our mutual lives have hardly any intersections. Language chops out 48%, age 40%, financial circumstances 10%, and how many are left for you, or me, to interact with?

Wish you the best whether in CM, Bali or Hanoi.

He says money is not an object. I would suggest a higher cost housing as he would be more likely to meet people who are not back packers and more in line with his interests.

[TheAppletons]

I realise that you have a vested emotional interest in your "club for people who are foreigners" (farangs). However, no matter what euphemisms you choose, the fact remains that, within your club, you promote segregation, based upon, primarily English speaking people, rather than intergrate with the people, the culture and the language of your new found home.

PS. I'm sure the token Thais YOU leave into your mist are so greatful for your benevolence.

Says the guy who is a member of - and actively contributing to - what is arguably the largest Expat Club in all of Thailand: Thaivisa.com.

Mostly English speaking foreigners? Check.

"Club" rules/regulations? Check.

Have to consciously "join" to become a member? Check.

Topics geared toward Westerners living in Thailand? Check.

[northernjohn]

http://www.chiangmaiexpatsclub.com/

https://www.facebook.com/Chiang-Mai-Expats-Club-286223608211692/

Check out the Chiang Mai Expats Club. They have Outside Group Activities, or clubs-within-a-club devoted to special interests http://www.chiangmaiexpatsclub.com/activities/ There is one for photography and another for travel.

People who are in town for just a few months are welcome to join in the club activities. It's quite common for people to come here to evaluate if relocation to Chiang Mai is right for them.

I find that my social life now, in my 60s, is more active than it's ever been at any other time in my life. And it's not all just expats. I'm involved in a Rotary club that does many projects with Thai rotary clubs and we've become friends with Thai people that way -- taking trips with them, being invited to their homes for dinner, and family events like weddings and funerals. Involvement in Rotary is a good way for a foreigner to do community service on an irregular basis.

Sorry to disagree. I have found the Expats Club to be racist in it's attitudes and adopt a superior attitude towards locals. On my many visits the microphone was used by farangs and farangesses to entertain the pro American humor of the person holding it...loving the sound of their own voice, and overstating and exaggerating the wonderful way they helped locals...when in truth all they were doing was seeking self praise. Let's face it, by it's very definition an ExPats club, not a Thai+Expat Club, is based on select races.

Again, I'll repeat -- it's been a while since you've been to a CEC meeting, hasn't it? The American male MC who told the really poor jokes left the country in 2014. The MC at the last meeting was British and the other officers who spoke were Swiss, Australian and, yes, one American. They're not trying to entertain with humor -- that almost always falls flat, doesn't it?

And, I'm sorry, but by it's very definition an Expats club is a social club for people who are foreigners -- but Thai people are welcome as members and one of the purposes of the club is to help expats to adapt and adjust to living in Thailand.

I realise that you have a vested emotional interest in your "club for people who are foreigners" (farangs). However, no matter what euphemisms you choose, the fact remains that, within your club, you promote segregation, based upon, primarily English speaking people, rather than intergrate with the people, the culture and the language of your new found home.

PS. I'm sure the token Thais YOU leave into your mist are so greatful for your benevolence.

I have been a member for about 6 years now and find your statement to be completely wrong. They in no way promote segregation of any kind. All may come. They have many various speakers on many different topics some are Thai speakers on Thai organizations or business. They are affiliated with clubs who like you say cater to certain people like the photography club the gardening club the video club and on the list goes. If those interest you there is no problem joining them no matter what your race is.

As far as entertain with humor they have had some great speakers there. It all depends on the individuals likes and dislikes. If you feel they should have other types of speakers join their board and put your ideas forth. As it is you will get the ones they think are the best. Up to you to except them or walk away or try to help get some others in for a speaking engagement. I believe they have some thing like 17 separate interest groups they are affiliated with. Lots of choices.

[mankondang]

Sorry to disagree. I have found the Expats Club to be racist in it's attitudes and adopt a superior attitude towards locals. On my many visits the microphone was used by farangs and farangesses to entertain the pro American humor of the person holding it...loving the sound of their own voice, and overstating and exaggerating the wonderful way they helped locals...when in truth all they were doing was seeking self praise. Let's face it, by it's very definition an ExPats club, not a Thai+Expat Club, is based on select races.

That is one of the more hilariously misguided applications of political correctness I've seen in quite some time.

So any expat club - anywhere - is a racist organization, lol? That's laughably naive.

The local Expat Club is a great place to meet people with common backgrounds when you first arrive. OP would be wise to at least check out a couple of the bi-monthly breakfast gatherings.

Complete the following well known phrase or saying:

"When in Rome ......................".

Typical The Appletons response:

"When in Rome...patronise the Romans...and join an ExPats Club".

Naive? Naive to ones own racist nature.

For another explaination/answer, see Bill #19

[bazza40]

I realise that you have a vested emotional interest in your "club for people who are foreigners" (farangs). However, no matter what euphemisms you choose, the fact remains that, within your club, you promote segregation, based upon, primarily English speaking people, rather than intergrate with the people, the culture and the language of your new found home.

PS. I'm sure the token Thais YOU leave into your mist are so greatful for your benevolence.

Says the guy who is a member of - and actively contributing to - what is arguably the largest Expat Club in all of Thailand: Thaivisa.com.

Mostly English speaking foreigners? Check.

"Club" rules/regulations? Check.

Have to consciously "join" to become a member? Check.

Topics geared toward Westerners living in Thailand? Check.

Think you are missing the point - if TV is an expat's club, it has to be one of the most anti-social I've ever seen. A club that never meets in person, only online.

I suspect if some of us were to meet personally, World War III would commence.

You can't have it both ways - if you don't like TV, why are you here?

[bazza40]

OK, I’m slightly off topic right now – to return – where are the intelligent, well-informed, broadminded ladies, married or not and across the financial spectrum, who lightened our and their lives almost a decade ago via support and genuine friendship?

For married ladies, statistics show in Thailand a relationship breakdown is twice as likely to occur than in their home country. As for the single ones, the competition is overwhelming- they are likely to attract a single male falang here as I am of winning Powerball. And I haven't heard of too many Thai men forming relationships with Western women.

I suppose it is possible to form a social group with Thai women; however, unless you can speak Thai fluently it's more likely a Western woman would be viewed as a freak show.

I suspect most of the intelligent, well-informed, broad-minded ladies have gone back to their home countries, because they've realised the networks they take for granted back home are very hard work here.

[bazza40]

A forced attempt to make friends seems a bit too needy to me.

[sledpull]

Be sure and get in the Pickleball games played a couple of times a week there! You will meet several expats playing!

[NancyL]

OK, I’m slightly off topic right now – to return – where are the intelligent, well-informed, broadminded ladies, married or not and across the financial spectrum, who lightened our and their lives almost a decade ago via support and genuine friendship?

For married ladies, statistics show in Thailand a relationship breakdown is twice as likely to occur than in their home country. As for the single ones, the competition is overwhelming- they are likely to attract a single male falang here as I am of winning Powerball. And I haven't heard of too many Thai men forming relationships with Western women.

I suppose it is possible to form a social group with Thai women; however, unless you can speak Thai fluently it's more likely a Western woman would be viewed as a freak show.

I suspect most of the intelligent, well-informed, broad-minded ladies have gone back to their home countries, because they've realised the networks they take for granted back home are very hard work here.

I think what buddhalady is lamenting is when she ventured back to the Expats Ladies Lunch group after not having gone for a number of years and didn't find anyone she knew and the format was a little different than she remembered. The group meets twice a month now. The first Thursday of the month is normally at a more upscale venue and the lunch is a higher price than in the old days. It just got to be too difficult to find nice venues willing to put on a three course meal for less than 200 baht. But for ladies on a budget, there is the lunch on the third Thursday of the month, at Grandview Hotel buffet, at 200 baht.

Also what's changed is the nature of some of the expat retirees coming here now. Many who were here a decade ago were of limited means and watching their budgets carefully. That seems to have changed in recent years as it's become more difficult to stay long-term by stringing together back-to-back tourist visas and doing visa-exempt border runs. The ladies lunch group is bigger than ever and the ladies do provide support and genuine friendship to each other, but their interests are a little different than the group of ladies who gathered 10 years ago.

bazza40 is out-of-line about Western women being viewed as freak show. What city does he live in? We western women are having a great time. Again, he obviously hasn't been to an Expats Club meeting recently to see all the women members. The number of female members and expat/expat couples are growing and it's becoming more and more common for older expat gentlemen to develop a romantic relationship with one of the older expat women -- they've discovered that it's just much less hassle and more fun than trying to maintain a relationship with a Thai woman.

[rogeroc]

Post above comes across as supercilious, this sort of approach would put me of joining the Expats club.

[cyberfarang]

Take your point, cyberfarang. but I'm more mourning the way things were here than attempting to recreate them - I'll leave that to the Expats' Club management! Dining - do you mean the Ladies' Lunch group? If so, I did try again with that last year - I was one of its original members ages ago - but found mostly the type of clique I'm trying to avoid plus a few tourists and snowbirds. Gave up, I'm afraid. There's another group, but I'm not sure they'd welcome a lone female...

I'm considering yoga - basic hatha - for different reasons, but have found that most of the studios advertising online offer courses for, short-term visitors and seem to be located in resorts. Not quite what I need as a total beginner at a later stage in life! My point was that the female crowd when I arrived here were mostly, in effect, long-stayers, although some had to move back home for medical reasons and others left as they weren't keen on the changes here.

Done the going places recently, unfortunately without success. Meetups, as mentioned elsewhere on this thread, might be a good idea, have to try one or two of the offerings.

Exactly what am I looking for? Good question - assuming you're a guy, perhaps you wouldn't quite understand - I've always thought that friendship amongst women is different that it's male equivalent. Having said that, in my home country I had good, strong friendships with several guys - perhaps that's another idea to explore???

I don`t mean the Ladies lunch club. I do understand exactly what you mean, very difficult. Because in Chiang Mai the expat population is limited, not easy finding people you can relate to, are compatible with your interests, similar age groups, same nationalities. My old man used to say, it takes a lifetime to make a friend.

I`ve never been to the Expats club but it does seem to have a good reputation. It would be good to have choices, not having any is one of the drawbacks of living in Chiang Mai.

[bazza40]

OK, I’m slightly off topic right now – to return – where are the intelligent, well-informed, broadminded ladies, married or not and across the financial spectrum, who lightened our and their lives almost a decade ago via support and genuine friendship?

For married ladies, statistics show in Thailand a relationship breakdown is twice as likely to occur than in their home country. As for the single ones, the competition is overwhelming- they are likely to attract a single male falang here as I am of winning Powerball. And I haven't heard of too many Thai men forming relationships with Western women.

I suppose it is possible to form a social group with Thai women; however, unless you can speak Thai fluently it's more likely a Western woman would be viewed as a freak show.

I suspect most of the intelligent, well-informed, broad-minded ladies have gone back to their home countries, because they've realised the networks they take for granted back home are very hard work here.

I think what buddhalady is lamenting is when she ventured back to the Expats Ladies Lunch group after not having gone for a number of years and didn't find anyone she knew and the format was a little different than she remembered. The group meets twice a month now. The first Thursday of the month is normally at a more upscale venue and the lunch is a higher price than in the old days. It just got to be too difficult to find nice venues willing to put on a three course meal for less than 200 baht. But for ladies on a budget, there is the lunch on the third Thursday of the month, at Grandview Hotel buffet, at 200 baht.

Also what's changed is the nature of some of the expat retirees coming here now. Many who were here a decade ago were of limited means and watching their budgets carefully. That seems to have changed in recent years as it's become more difficult to stay long-term by stringing together back-to-back tourist visas and doing visa-exempt border runs. The ladies lunch group is bigger than ever and the ladies do provide support and genuine friendship to each other, but their interests are a little different than the group of ladies who gathered 10 years ago.

bazza40 is out-of-line about Western women being viewed as freak show. What city does he live in? We western women are having a great time. Again, he obviously hasn't been to an Expats Club meeting recently to see all the women members. The number of female members and expat/expat couples are growing and it's becoming more and more common for older expat gentlemen to develop a romantic relationship with one of the older expat women -- they've discovered that it's just much less hassle and more fun than trying to maintain a relationship with a Thai woman.

. I live in Chiang Mai. I could not think of anything worse than attending an expat club, except perhaps multiple root canal treatments. I've also had my fill of Western women in my home country. Repeat doses definitely not on my agenda.

Most of the Western women I see around my condo are either forlorn sad sacks, or married women terrified a Thai woman is going to take their husband away. So you'll have to excuse me for developing a different viewpoint.

Less hassle? As I type this, my Thai GF has just handed me a beer and a carefully prepared avocado just the way I like it. That's before the main course of sweet and sour chicken. She spoils me rotten, and I love it.

If you and your fellow ladies are having a great time, good for you. Rest assured I'm having a great time too.

[WinnieTheKhwai]

Try not stick with foreigners that's too easy but build a network of locals if you really want to experience Thailand. Unless you need lot's of serious talks. My first 10 years living in Thailand I never went along with whiteskins more trying to avoid them. Foreigners are boring they know everything better and find it important to talk about this.

See this sentiment really a lot in this topic, along with the exact opposite, of hanging out with expats or else. Or only hanging with Thai girls who have finished university degrees and are rocket surgeons.

When I first came here I just met as many different people as possible. This included university students and bargirls and dept store shop girls. And expat barflies and academics; the lovers, the dreamers, and everything in between.

Just go with the flow and let the chips fall where they may.

[NancyL]

Thai girls who are rocket surgeons .... I just love you Winnie.

[Lewthetraveler]

Thanks all for the information.

Several people referred to there being 'sharks' amongst the other ex-pats.

What is meant by that?